Hogwarts Next Top Model
by Zayz
Summary: AU MWPP era. In January of their 6th year, the Marauders come up with their best boredom buster to date - a recreation of the show America's Next Top Model, along with a lovely prize. Drama and hilarity in equal parts promptly ensue. R&R?
1. PROLOGUE: An Idea is Born

A/N: I was supposed to get this up the other day, but unfortunately, something happened and I lost the document with all my edits and changes. However, it's here now, and there you have it. Enjoy!

**Year: **Mid-winter of 6th  
**Ship:** Mainly LJ, but it varies  
**Genres****:** Romance, drama, angst  
**Rating****:** PG-13 for language  
**Disclaimer****:** C'mon people; I own neither HP nor America's Next Top Model – I'm only playing with the ideas because I am bored and have nothing better to do with my life right now. Don't you know that already??  
**Other Information****:** It's a _modern-day_ _parody_, which means it's AU, but essentially, I'm planning for it to be a Harry Potter version of America's Next Top Model with some minor adjustments – filled with the usual drama, competition, girly cattiness etc. Enjoy!!

* * *

It's just another Saturday in January at Hogwarts this afternoon – nothing more.

It's lightly snowing outside, the cotton-swab flakes kissing the ground below them gently and coating the grass with a thick layer of frozen water from the heavens, and all anybody indoors wants to do was curl up by a window with a glass of hot cocoa. A playfully arctic draft is playing about the ankles of students who are unfortunate enough to wear their socks a little too low and their robes a little too high; which forces such people to take refuge in the library, which is about ten degrees warmer than the rest of the castle. The amount of homework assigned for the weekend helps this decision considerably, but everybody prefers to neatly overlook this fact, since it's rather a grim one.

However, a select group of four Gryffindors are not following the pack hiding out downstairs – they were the ones who had suggested it in the first place, but then quickly bored of the novelty when it spread through the school like wildfire. They're up in the Gryffindor common room instead, which is cozy and welcoming because of its emptiness, and they have the good chairs by the fire – yes, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew feel like kings of the world as they indulge in the silence surrounding them, only occasionally speaking to inquire after the time or something of similar matter.

Time passes languidly in this fashion for quite a while, until Sirius suddenly receives the bright idea to magically summon marshmallows from the kitchens and roast them on his wand in front of the fire, and they are only now getting done. Pleased with himself, he takes a bite of the most burnt one, and becomes the first to speak in about an hour by addressing James and declaring, "Prongs, today is utterly boring. I wish it was the full moon; I want to _do_ something, rather than just sit here and eat my shitty marshmallows."

"Those look rather good, actually," Peter pips up upon hearing this. "Give me one."

Sirius rolls his eyes but hands one over, and it's promptly tossed into Peter's mouth. After chewing a moment, Peter comments, "I was right, they are nice."

"Take them, then," Sirius says, passing him the wand of marshmallows. "Just give me the wand when you're through."

"Will do," Peter replies happily, eating an entire marshmallow whole.

James observes this with a snort, but answers the original statement by remarking, "I know what you mean. What do you reckon we do though?"

"How about the homework you've neglected?" Remus suggests, as is inevitable. "I did mine in the morning."

"Nah," Sirius responds lazily, as is also inevitable. "I don't want to. Not now, anyway – how about later?"

"So long as later doesn't mean ten minutes before the class starts," Remus replies.

Sirius throws his friend a look, but otherwise ignores him as he watches Peter eat his marshmallows instead. "Fair enough, I suppose." His eyes mist over for a few moments before he proclaims, "I want to kiss a girl."

"When _don't_ you want to kiss a girl?" Peter asks, his tone muffled owing to his full mouth. He swallows enormously. "But don't you have a girlfriend you could snog?"

"No," Sirius says. "Elena broke up with me yesterday."

"Sorry, mate," James offers sympathetically. "Did she say why?"

"Said I didn't spend as much time as I should with her," Sirius says matter-of-factly. "I didn't mind though; I was probably going to break up with her anyway." He flicks some dirt out from under his fingernails unconcernedly. "She just beat me to it."

James claps Sirius on the shoulder. "Again, sorry."

Sirius nods, but then says, "I still wish it was the full moon though – that would give me something to do."

"Full moons are painful; I don't need one right now," Remus complains. "I have some extra reading from the textbook I have to do, and I can't exactly get it done if I'm a werewolf, can I?"

James, Sirius, and Peter appear utterly revolted by the idea of reading textbooks on their own accords, but it's James who retorts, "Why in the name of Merlin would we care about that?"

"I don't know…maybe to reduce the amount of homework you get later so you have more time to date girls or play Quidditch," Remus says readily, prepared far in advance for the question.

"Nah, I'd rather just date girls full time," Sirius decides. "School doesn't involve women in sexy clothes, does it?"

"Yes it does," James says. "My school life revolves around Lily Evans; who, by the way, makes even our boring uniform look sexy."

Sirius makes a noise. "She's _all right_, but her breasts are too small. Hannah Middleton is much sexier, if you want me to hook you up with her."

"No, it's okay," James refuses. "And Lily's breasts aren't small – they're perfect!"

Remus shakes his head despondently while Peter chokes on the marshmallow he had been eating. "How would _you _know that, James?" Peter asks. "She gives you a death glare every time you look at them."

"Maybe, but the point I'm trying to make is that she's gorgeous; and that she's the only girl I'm currently interested in," James informs the three of them.

"Why do you care so much?" Sirius demands. "I mean, half the girls in this castle could be supermodels if they wanted to be, but the only one you can think about is damn Evans. Do you know how irritating it is for those of us that are actually open-minded about women?"

"And men," Remus comments under his breath.

Peter and James burst into snickers, but Sirius disregards this slight as he looks expectantly to the boy in question. James doesn't respond for a moment, but when he does, his eyes have a misty look to them.

"Wouldn't it be kind of fun if we got all those girls together in tight clothes and made them model for us?" he asks. "You'd get your array of girls to hit on, and I'd get to feast my eyes on Evans."

Sirius gives out an excited giggle, as does Peter, but Remus objects, "Isn't that a bit shallow-minded? Why would you make them model for you – what entertainment would you find from it?"

"So you're saying that seeing a girl model for you in a bikini is _not_ a sight to see?" Sirius inquires, his tone incredulous. He seems to be having some difficulty grasping such an unthinkably easy concept.

"Well, yes," Remus says with full conviction. "Making girls parade around the room wearing next to nothing holds no appeal for me."

All three teenagers gasp in horror, but Sirius recovers first, as usual. "Moony, mate, are you honestly daft enough to have to ask why we want to get girls to model for us?"

"Yes," Remus answers simply. "Enlighten me."

Rendered speechless by his disbelief, Sirius quiets, so Peter takes over by saying, "They're bloody gorgeous, Lupin. You shouldn't need more than that."

"You might be smart in school, but you still have a lot to learn about things that matter," James adds wisely. "Like _chicks_. Don't you want to get married?"

Remus opens his mouth to contradict, but Sirius cuts him off by suddenly regaining his powers of vocalization and insisting, "We should actually get some models in here to educate him and see what we mean."

"Good idea," Peter agrees. "When should we do it? _How _should we do it?"

"I know this Muggle programme in America called, 'America's Next Top Model,'" James volunteers. "They take the ten most beautiful girls that audition, put them together in one manner house, and make them do all these challenges; photo-shoots, commercials, and stuff."

"I like this so far, but how in the world would _you _know that, Prongs?" Sirius asks, the corners of his mouth twitching as though aching to let his handsome mouth laugh.

"Don't ask; it's a long story that involves my very annoying, distant cousins who are Muggle girls that can try the patience of a saint – or of Moony – when they don't watch the television they want," James says, his voice distinctly disgruntled. "Anyway, each week, they focus on some point of modeling before doing a photo-shoot or something. After the shoot, the judges discuss, or in their words deliberate, on how well the girls did, and which one of them is eliminated. They may have good photos, but if the judges don't like their personalities, then they can still be booted. When the last girl is standing, she gets money and a contract."

"I love it," Sirius declares after a moment of digesting this description. "We could pull a few strings, get the ten girls in one dormitory, and make them model at night, after classes end…"

"Yeah," Peter concurs excitedly, his mousy tone rising a few octaves higher than they generally are in his fervor. "And the prize can be…a date with one of us!" He grinned to himself upon coming up with this plan; obviously, he was partial to the idea of dating the most satisfactory girl out of the bunch.

"Brilliant!" James beams, approving everything with the light in his eyes. "Let's do this."

"Wait a minute, would you please?" Remus cuts in, his tone business-like the way it always is before he attempts to dash the hopes of the three rather silly young men he had befriended. "A couple of my cousins watch that programme as well, now that I think on it, and from what I've gathered of it, we could never recreate that."

"Why not?" Peter asks, his face falling. "We pick the ten hottest girls in school, put them in a dormitory together, set up some photo-shoots, take pictures, chuck a girl out every week, and move on; it's foolproof."

"There are a lot of logistical problems we have to consider first," Remus says. "For example, where do you propose we get all the equipment? How do we do this without anyone knowing it's us? Where do we find dresses, make-up, and stylists?"

"Really, all you need equipment-wise is a camera, which we can easily buy in Hogsmeade," Peter rationales.

"I can get a few girls in fourth year to help me with the girly crap," James suggests.

"Perfect!" Sirius laughs as he considers the very real possibility of recreating this modeling show. "I now have an excuse to be an official chick judge _and_ see Evans in the tightest clothes money can buy!"

"You sicken me," Remus says, grimacing. "You _all_ sicken me. I refuse to be a judge and watch all of this ensue in front of my eyes."

"Aww, come on," Sirius whines. "Why not? It would be fun!"

"No, it wouldn't," Remus argues. "Like I said, this holds no appeal for me at all whatsoever."

James pouts. "What could we do to convince you to do this for us?"

Remus considers, his attention caught. "Maybe…do your homework when I do mine over the time that this little experiment of yours lasts? I would love to see some proper responsibility instilled in you."

"Eww," Sirius says, wrinkling his nose. "That's kind of harsh; are you sure that's what you want? I could get you a date with Jillian Matthews, she'd probably fancy you…"

"I'm quite sure," Remus says firmly. "Homework on time and no complaining to me about how difficult the subject matter is the night before an exam, and that goes for all of you – are we understood?"

"Fine," Peter grudgingly agrees, dragging out the single word to convey his utter irritation.

"All right," Sirius says. "But now you know how much we care about your well-being in the female department, Moony; otherwise, you'd never see this day happen."

"I know," Remus says. "But it's the only thing I'd really want from you; otherwise, you three are my best friends."

"Aww, come and give me a great big man-hug, you sentimental little fur death trap," James says affectionately, reaching out his arms for his friend. Remus winces slightly at the description, but gives the hug as requested all the same, before sitting down and saying somewhat teasingly, "All right, well, I have that reading to get to then – enjoy your sick fantasies about this game of yours while I'm gone, and I will see you later."

He makes his way over to the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory, and once he's out of sight, Sirius grins rather wickedly. "Shall we plan this out a little further then, my fellow Marauders and future judges?"

"We shall," James says, his grin similarly mischievous. "Let's pick our ten lucky ladies, then."

"I'll go fetch the butterbeer from the kitchens," Peter offers, bouncing out of his seat and sprinting off to the portrait hole in his haste to get the drinks and join in the fun.

"Get at least six bottles for each of us, would you, Wormy?" Sirius calls after him. "It's going to be a _very _long night."

James chuckles at the sound of this, and Sirius, thrilled and inspired by his approval, puts his feet up on the chair next to him as he rattles off some possible candidates for the competition. James joins in enthusiastically, the first name coming from his lips inevitably Lily Evans's, and the two soon get quite a list growing as they discuss how big of a chance some of the girls they know would have.

The January snow outside of them continues to fall with its gentle grace, the wind also continuing its relentless path to every student who had absolutely no need of it, and the boys continue their work, with even more gusto once the third member arrives back with welcoming butterbeer in his arms. Life goes on outside of them, serene and peaceful as it frequently is, completely unaware of the boyish chaos brewing within one of the tallest towers of Hogwarts castle.

Nobody knows it just yet, but some definite trouble is beginning to take tangible form upon a single sheet of parchment inside; and when that trouble hits in its due course in the very near future, there will be no doubt in anybody's mind that it's going to be one hell of a ride.


	2. Absolutely Ridiculous

A/N: All right guys, I'm really sorry about the long wait for the next chapter, but this has been on the back-burner for such a long time that it's hard for me to get back into it! However, the outline is done and **all is well**; I hope to have updates every week – maximum every two.

This story will be told from **varying points of first-person view**. We're starting off with Lily, but it'll **change every chapter**.

Chapters shall be **long and infrequent, with the exception of this mood-setting exposition chapter** – which, for people who are used to the way I run things – will be a little weird.

There **was an edit to the first chapter**. If you **did read the first chapter previously**, revisiting would be a good idea because it's changed enough to be significant.

Enjoy guys, and **please review**; even if you're like my brother and find this idea completely and utterly ridiculous!

--

**Lily Evans**

_--_

In this school, it's true when they say that anything is possible here.

I wouldn't have thought it could be possible, but something worse than the Marauders' eternal reign as Masters of the School has finally hit us here at Hogwarts – the Marauders sparking an inter-house competition with a reward for being the biggest troublemaker.

It's probably one of their most arrogant schemes to date, which is a difficult position to win with the other contenders hatched throughout the years, but lo and behold, the sign comes up today in the Gryffindor common room saying the following to a large throng of interested people:

_Dear Gryffindor House,_

_Yes, it is indeed us, the Marauders – Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs._

_And we have officially decided that this school needs a bit of a shake-up._

_To host a bit of healthy competition in you lovely ladies calling yourselves witches here at this fine institution of magic, we Marauders have set up a bit of a modeling programme. We call it Hogwarts' Next Model; and it's quite a game, if we geniuses do say so ourselves._

_The fun part about this game is that the whole school (we assume you understand we are excluding those disgusting, slimy Slytherins in this collective) can play along with us as we select, out of ten young women, who is the best natural model here. Each day, these girls will be put through a challenge or a photo-shoot of some sort, which shall be judged by us; and each day, one girl will be out of the running for the top spot based on her performance.  
__  
To add some more incentive to play here, we have graciously agreed that the winning girl, whoever she may be, has the option of going on a date with the Marauder of her fine fancy as a reward._

_Of course, because of this prize, we have already pre-selected the ten girls that will be playing, and we would like to make it very, very clear: THE LINE-UP WILL NOT BE CHANGED._

_Girls cannot be added in place of others…nor can they be taken out._

_All you lovely people need to know is that this game is going to be played (though it shall need to be kept a fair secret from the teachers) in the evenings in various undisclosed locations – the rest of the "logistical rules," as dear Moony refers to them, will be revealed to only the ten girls listed below, shared with you if and how they choose._

_Thank you for your attention, and truly, let the games begin!_

_Sincerely,_

_James  
Sirius  
Remus  
Peter_

_THE TEN PARTICIPANTS:_

_Alice Prewitt, Gryffindor, Year 6  
__Georgiana Welsh, Ravenclaw, Year 7  
__Lucille Jansen, Ravenclaw, Year 7  
__Sydney Shaw, Hufflepuff, Year 6  
__Alicia Harrison, Gryffindor, Year 6  
__Lily Evans, Gryffindor, Year 6  
__Hannah Middleton, Ravenclaw, Year 6  
__Rosaline Lewis, Hufflepuff, Year 7  
__Sadie Clark, Gryffindor, Year 6  
__Verity Robinson, Ravenclaw, Year 7_

I knew even before they put the list up there that my name would be on it.

Of course it would be. Anything with James Potter involved inevitably has my name attached with it as well, although I don't think I shall ever fathom the reason why.

I just didn't think they would be serious enough to keep me in this so-called "competition."

I find the whole thing rather silly – and quite discriminating as well. I didn't expect for a moment that the Marauders would include Slytherins into their "game," but even so, the blatant disregard for people in that house is astonishing.

And, obviously, their arrogance never fails to astonish either. The audacity of this whole endeavor is simply stunning! They expect girls to come and model for them, eager as new puppies, because they have the opportunity to win a date with one of those damned Marauders!

I don't know how this is going to work. I don't know how they expect it's going to work. I don't even know what they expect to get out of this whole ordeal; it's simply mind-blowing how bored these boys are with their lives. If they put even a fraction of this brain-power and creative thought into their school-work, perhaps the teachers wouldn't dislike their work ethic so much.

They really are intelligent, when they're not being arrogant prats bent on seeing a woman from as many perspectives as is humanly possibly.

Naturally, the whole school is in something of an uproar because of this whole ordeal. Nobody will stop talking about this preposterous "Hogwarts' Next Top Model" business. The girls are finding themselves to be the newest celebrities of Hogwarts castle, because the Marauders found them good enough to be the ten women in the running.

I'm already well-accustomed to jealous looks from girls who are not in the favor of the Marauders, because of the ill treatment Potter has always condemned me to. The rest of these lucky victims are enjoying or loathing their fate in their own ways.

At the very least, though, I have my best friend in the world, Alice Prewitt, here to suffer through this torture with me.

I don't know what I would have done if the Marauders had put me in this all alone with only nine other Marauder-obsessed females. Now there are only eight to deal with, and I have my life-jacket with me to help me through.

At least one stroke of good luck has come to me this far; otherwise, I honestly don't even know how I'm going to survive the next few weeks living the newest Marauder nightmare they are unleashing in a torrent into this poor school.

--

During lunch today, while the Gryffindors are gleefully telling the rest of the houses about the Marauders' game, I sit down to eat my meal with Alice, feeling like a war-zone veteran from all the harassment I've had to endure all morning.

It's a relief to sit down only to eat, rather than to escape people with a zillion questions about something I know nothing about. I'll have to remember to thank the Marauders later for sticking me in this atrocious position.

I pile my plate high with food – chicken and mashed potatoes, the closest dishes to me at the moment – and begin to wolf it down, talking between speedy spoonfuls, much to sedate Alice's amusement.

"So this damned competition they're making us enter," I begin, shoveling potatoes into my open mouth. "What are we going to do about it?"

Alice looks at me with distaste, nibbling a chicken leg. "Do you mind, Lil? I'm trying to keep my appetite, not let it dissipate on the way up my esophagus."

"Sorry, sorry," I say, attempting with little success to eat slowly. "So what are we going to do about it? We're stuck and we know it, and I have no idea where to go from here."

Alice considers. "Well, Lily, we _are _stuck and there _isn't _much of a choice. I thought you would already know enough to just go along with this and hope to Merlin it'll all blow over for us soon."

I make a face, eating a bit more. "It just sounds so…cowardly. I want to _do _something about it, you know? I don't want to participate. I ought to talk to those idiots and give them a piece of my mind, demand for them to get someone else in for my place."

"Now, you know what little that's going to do almost as well as I do," Alice says rationally. "James Potter probably made sure you were in that final list; he's not going to change it around, it's almost a guarantee. He would eat his friends alive if they tried."

"Which is, by the way, almost as ridiculous as the game itself," I remind her.

Alice only smiles. "I dunno, Lil. It might be kind of…fun."

My full fork stops just sort of my open mouth, my jaw dropping as far as it possibly can without shattering.

"Alice, don't do this to me, darling," I plead. "Don't become one of them, I couldn't stand it if you did! Stay with me here, stay with me!"

Alice laughs. "Lils, I'm not one of them! I'm just saying…well, I dunno what I'm saying. Maybe what I'm saying is…perhaps it's going to be a bit of good fun, you know? Being able to hang around after classes with a few other girls and have a fun prize at the end to work for. It could be interesting, to say the very least."

"The word interesting holds with it a plethora of sardonic connotations, and I'd like to invoke every single of them right now," I say. "Alice, this is going to be a disaster! This is going to be the worst thing to hit here since…since…since Pandora's Box, or something! It's going to be atrocious. It's going to be everything I shall loathe. I don't like the sound of this in the least."

Alice shrugs passively. "Dating Moony wouldn't be so bad, I reckon," she says so softly I almost don't hear her. "I want to try for it at least, since they like me enough to choose me."

"But Alice!" I lower my dramatic voice to a whisper just above hers so that people don't hear. "Alice, you like Frank Longbottom though; how could you think like this?"

Alice glances would-be-casually down to the end of the table where Frank Longbottom sits, accompanied by his friends, laughing at a joke someone told. She looks back at me barely a moment after, and her gorgeous brown eyes are significantly despondent, as she tells me, "Well, clearly I'm not in his line of view. Maybe I could be in Moony's, you know? He's the nicest of the Marauders. You've said it yourself."

"I have…" I bite my lip. "Alice, I can't have you excited about this. I need someone to get me through this, hold my hand and hate it as much as I do. Those girls the boys picked aren't going to do it for me. You're my only hope."

"I understand that, but I don't see the point in being negative about the whole thing," Alice says fairly. "It could be a fun experience – you know, something we did while at Hogwarts for the hell of it because we could. You can always get yourself out of the competition at the end if you don't want to be here."

"What makes you think I won't do that from the very start?" I inquire, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…the fact that your best friend wants to take the chance and give this a go, and would love to have you there for at least a considerable portion of the way." Alice looks hopefully at me.

I sigh, melting down resistance inside as only Alice can make me. "Fine, fine," I say grudgingly, hoping to make her as guilty as possible with my tone. "I'll try a little…but you can't expect me to enjoy this. It's…it's…it fails words, that's how bad this is going to be, Alice!"

Alice shakes her head. "I don't think so, Lily. Just try it. That's all I ask."

"I suppose I'll have to." I sigh. "When is initiation night again?"

"Tomorrow night, that's what I heard Sirius telling someone," Alice says. "We're supposed to meet the Marauders in the Entrance Hall at seven to get our room. Apparently, the Marauders want us all to room together while we're in this competition."

"Great," I moan, going back to my lunch with a sick feeling in my gut. "This is going to be just spectacular, I can feel it."

Alice shrugs and takes a bite as well. "Maybe, maybe not. But we've got to try to find out, and that's what I intend to do. Be open-minded about it."

Making a mental note to remain at least a little close-minded about this, purely for the sake of irritating Alice later, I smile to the best of my abilities in this current time, and I say, "Okay. Let's do it."

Alice's face lights up. "Yes, exactly," she agrees heartily.

I smile with her on the outside and finish my lunch, but on the inside, I am writhing and snickering at my stark sarcasm.

I can't believe she actually bought that one.

--

A/N: **R&R**, por favor. I'd really appreciate your feedback!


	3. The First Night

A/N: Sorry for the **late posting**. Two weeks a chapter **will not work for me**. Just hope I get around to it **at some point**.

And remember, you lot – this is **not meant to be some kind of epic**. I'm a teenager who goofs off plenty and doesn't always want to think meaningful thoughts. This story is **a parody purely for fun **and is **not**** meant to be taken very seriously**.

Just bear that in mind, all right? Because this is **not, by any means, my most thought-provoking work**; and considering what I've got coming up next, I would sincerely hope not.

**Varying POV's begin now**. You'll get to meet some of my other OC's (**some of whom are very, very silly**) and we can get this story rolling. I **don't know about the average chapter length at this point**, because it just depends on the subject matter. They'll be a fair length though.

Be prepared for **anything**, because these girls are **catty, melodramatic, **and **will**** fight over ridiculous things**.

Enjoy, and please **review**!

--

**Rosaline Lewis**

--

When I found out about this competition, I really couldn't believe it!

The Marauders picked _me _for this competition! People don't always notice me, except for my boyfriend Walter, and today, everyone kept staring at me jealously, or congratulating me, or asking me a million questions. It was the coolest thing! Walter told me I was beautiful when he discovered the news, but to remember that I was his and should _not _date one of the Marauders seriously after this is over. The one date I might get is all I'm allowed.

He's so silly and overprotective sometimes, honestly, even though I love him to bits. Just because I'm kind of infatuated with Prongs, doesn't mean I'll forget how sexy Walter is all of a sudden! I mean, come on!

During the day, I've tried to pick out who's going to be competing against me for this competition, just to get a glimpse of who I'm up against. I don't know any of them, except I vaguely know Sydney Shaw, who's a year below me in our Hufflepuff house. Sydney's gorgeous with her obvious curves and dark hair, so I'll have to work a little harder to make sure the Marauders notice _me _and not her.

I know Lily Evans is one of the girls in this too, which I didn't doubt for a second. That James Potter – sometimes I watch him flirt with her in the corridors, talking all sweet to her like Walter does for me, but she never seems to like the attention. I can't imagine why, because that Potter is something quite delicious.

If I wasn't so madly in love with Walter, I'd consider dating him – really.

James is hot stuff, and with Lily – who's all right, except for having breasts the size of goose-bumps – they'd make a good couple.

Not that I care, or anything; I'm just saying.

I also discovered today that Alice Prewitt, Lily's best friend, is in this competition with me too. I don't think she'll be much of an issue, because everyone knows she fancies Frank Longbottom (who has no clue whatsoever) but she's cute; maybe the Marauders like cute girls.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! Competitions are so stressful!

Other than Lily, Alice, and Sydney, I only know of Alicia Harrison (a babe when she's not sticking bacon up her nose during breakfast to amuse her hordes of guy friends) and Verity Robinson (I wonder if that girl thinks at all, with that dreamy look on her face and her barely-there voice). If those are the girls to base this competition off of, then I should have this totally in the bag, I think!

I'm gorgeous and I've got personality. I think I'd be great. I'm not sure who I'm going to go out with once I win, though…James Potter is sexy, but he's a little too sexy, and same goes for Sirius Black, who makes my heart stop in the corridors sometimes. Remus Lupin is too smart for me, he's off the list.

Peter Pettigrew's all right – he's loud like the rest of his friends, but somehow a little shyer, a little mousier. I think I'll go out with him when I win the competition; there are whispers that Adrienne Sanders likes him too, and she's the pickiest girl in the year. Pettigrew looks date-able enough, and after a date with a Marauder, I'm sure tons of guys will be taking notice of me!

And that's the fun of this competition; with the Marauders endorsing you, everything's possible!

I'm so excited. This competition is going to be so great. Us girls who are in on the whole Top Model deal got notes today during breakfast from Potter telling us that tonight is initiation night, the night where we get to find out how _exactly _this is going to work.

I'm ready for this. I'm going to win. The Marauders are never going to know what hit them!

**&**

I can barely pay attention in class today. Everything anyone says goes right over my head. I keep twirling my hair, my most unfortunate nervous habit. My foot's tapping so much I forget I'm the one making that annoying noise. This is so stressful – and bad for my complexion, with all the anxiety.

I don't know how I make it all day until dinner-time. Walter is so good to me, snogging me every time I look like I'm going to explode, trying to figure out our Transfiguration homework before we give up on it entirely, listening kind-of-patiently to me rapture about a date with a Marauder. The evening goes by in dollops of time, sometimes entirely too slow and sometimes pleasantly speedy, until dinner comes and lets out, and it is time for me to go to the initiation night.

Sighing, I kiss Walter farewell and say, "Bye, darling. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Walter kisses me back, strong and husky and meaningful, and he says, "Bye, Rosie. Good luck."

I bat my eyelashes. "Thanks!"

"No problem." He kisses me one more time and then pretends to smack my bum. "Now get out of here."

"Fine, fine, I'm going!" Giggling, I flee the Great Hall and catch the flight of stairs to take me to the third floor, and then back up to the seventh floor, where the Marauders told us all to meet. While on the stairs, I meet a tall girl with brown curls that I know by face but not by name.

My first thought is that she's really pretty, with her brown eyes and athlete's body and breasts that are way bigger than mine. The first prickles of jealousy befall me, but I try to ignore them as I look to the girl and say, "Hey."

"Hey," says the girl.

"Where are you off to?" I ask, simply to make conversation.

"Seventh floor," the girl says.

"Me too," I say, realizing my hunch is correct.

"That's cool." She nods vacantly and then recognition flashes in her face too. "Are you by any chance doing that Marauder thing, Hogwarts' Next Top Model?"

"Yeah, I am!" I say, pretending that I'm surprised by this. "Merlin, this is going to be such fun!"

The girl shrugs. "I suppose. Men are kind of ridiculous; but I'm bound here, so I might as well go through with it, you know?"

"Men aren't ridiculous," I counter, a bit stung. "They're pretty hot, usually."

"More like chauvinistic and silly-minded, but to each her own," the girl responds flippantly.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I want to know at once.

"No, not right now; but I made the mistake of accepting one a few months ago," she says. "It was the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"I have a boyfriend," I say.

"That explains it," she says. "Most girls who describe guys that way either have a crush or a boyfriend already."

"Say, what is your name?" I inquire. "I know I've seen you before. You're in a few of my classes, but forgive me, I'm horrid with names."

"Georgiana Welsh," the girl, Georgiana, informs me gruffly. "You're Lewis, right?"

"Yes, Rosaline Lewis," I confirm.

"Nice to meet you," Georgiana says, nodding at me. I notice she doesn't put her hand out to shake or change the sullen look on her face.

"Nice to meet you too," I say. "Do you want to go up to the floor together, since we're both going there?"

"Sure." Georgiana shrugs, indifferent, and the two of us set off up the staircases, and up to the last hidden corridor on the seventh floor.

When we get there, there's already bunch of people already waiting for us.

**&**

Four girls are standing against the hard stone walls, lolling about and talking, when Georgiana and I walk over. I recognize Alicia and Sydney, but the other two girls – a super-skinny, rag-doll-esque blonde and a gentle-looking brunette – are two I don't know. I wave to them, trying to put on my biggest smile and appear friendly.

When you're in a competition, it's best to try to be nice. That way, you know that when people are sabotaging you, you know it's about talent and not about personality issues.

"Hi!" I chirp. "How are you?"

"Fine," the blonde answers. She's got a thin voice, I notice. "And you? I don't think I know you."

"I'm Rosaline," I say.

"'Sup, Rosie?" Alicia asks matter-of-factly, blowing and promptly popping a bubble from her Drooble's blowing gum.

"Hey." I wave at her and turn my attention back to the blonde. "And what's your name again?"

"Hannah," she says. "Hannah Middleton. N-Nice to meet you."

"Cheers." I smile widely, but mostly because I know she's probably going to be the first one out of this competition. She's way too shy to be in this competition.

"Wait, so how many are we now?" Georgiana takes charge, glancing around at the girls already gathered here. She counts them out and says, "Okay, we're six. We're waiting for four more girls and the Marauders."

"What's your name?" I ask with interest to the brunette I still don't know, who's gazing off dreamily in the distance. She blinks with surprise when she sees I'm addressing her.

"Oh, I'm Verity," she says.

"Right, right, Verity," I say. "Sorry – I do believe I know you. Didn't we have Care of Magical Creatures together last year?"

"Yes, yes, that was a wonderful class," Verity says with a vague sigh.

I remember now. Verity was a nut-ball. She won't be any trouble in this competition, I'm sure – she's barely ever paying any attention to anyone. The Marauders like girls with spunk and Verity has the spunk of under-heated coffee. This will probably end up being a contest on who will end up out first, because Hannah and Verity are the weakest out of the bunch so far. They're not even that pretty. I think I'll be in the top few for sure.

As I'm pondering, two other girls come up around the corner – one is another tall, dark, curvy girl who was most likely selected by Sirius and the other is almost too skinny with dirty-blonde hair. Those of us already here wave with mild interest.

"You lot here for the Marauders?" the darker one asks. Her voice is very gruff.

"Yeah," says Alicia, blowing another bubble and popping it, sucking the pink mess off of her lips and beginning the chewing process again. "We're still waiting for them. Who are you?"

"I'm Sydney," the girl says.

"And I'm Lucille," the other one volunteers. Her voice is tinny – the exact opposite of Sydney's.

"Hi," I say. "Nice to meet you."

"'Kay, so who are we missing?" Alicia looks around the group with her sharp eyes. She's quite jumpy so far, I notice.

"I think…" Sadie considers. "Lily Evans and Alice Prewitt. That's who we're missing."

"Oh, Lily." Alicia giggles. "Isn't she the one Potter likes?"

"She's going to win this for sure." This is Lucille with the tinny voice, sighing hugely at this thought. "Potter will make sure of it."

"But then again, she most likely won't enjoy being here," I suggest. This thought has already come to me before. "She'll do her best to leave and eventually, they'll have to let her. This is, after all, a competition."

"You're probably right," Lucille agrees.

"Honestly, I don't think it matters," says Alicia. "The Marauders are picking a prospective date for any one of them – dearest Jamie isn't the only Marauder making the decision. He can still be overridden. Let things play out and eventually, one of us will win."

I open my mouth to respond, but at this moment, Verity of all people interrupts me and says in her ethereal voice, "Merlin, do you hear _that_?"

"What?" Alicia isn't the only bewildered one in our group.

"Listen." Verity closes her eyes and looks like she's about to fall asleep for it. The rest of us listen with our eyes open. Now that I concentrate, I can hear an awful lot of yelling and hollering going on down the hall, as well as a little pleading. I wonder what's going on, but I don't have to wonder long.

After a few minutes, a redhead I can only assume is Lily Evans emerges, stomping and hollering and throwing a fantastic fit of epic proportions. Walking with her are the Marauders themselves and a brunette I can only assume is Alice. Alice was the one pleading, while James attempts to talk to Lily – the other Marauders are grinning and staying silent.

"I _do not bloody believe you_!" Lily shouts. "What the fuck do you mean, _you can't change the line-up_? It's _your bloody line-up_! You can change it whenever the hell you want!"

"But the rules we set–"

"Hang the rules!" Lily interrupts in a blood-curdling screech. "You've never given a fuck about them anyway!"

All of us on the side exchange glances at this – it's a well-known fact that the Marauders hate rules. Still, none of us want to be the one to tell a furious Lily Evans that this is one rule they will be following, so James takes a breath and tries one more time.

"Evans, we're not changing the line-up," he says. "You will have to stay in the competition and do your best, all right? You're not the only one here."

I can almost see the smoke coming out of Lily's nose and ears as she glares bloody murder at the black-haired boy in front of her; but, thankfully, she decides to stomp sulkily to stand by Alicia, joined by Alice, who is grinning embarrassedly.

"All right then!" Now Sirius takes over, beaming. "Now that _that's _over…"

Lily shoots him a death-look.

"So, we've got ten of you lovely creatures in front of us," he continues, ignoring Lily. "Bloody hell, I can't believe you all came. Either way, we've definitely got a bit of explaining to do."

"But first," Peter Pettigrew jumps in, "we're going to show you where you're sleeping! Because you do get sleeping quarters while you're in the competition."

"You'll be going back to your own dormitories once you're out," James adds.

"Follow us!" Sirius leads the way as the Marauders and us girls trail along after him. While we're walking, I hear Alicia begin speaking to Remus Lupin.

"Hey, Lupin," she says. "What's up? You look like you're trying to swallow a hairball or something."

Remus sighs. "I wasn't really into this from the beginning," he admits. "It was mostly Sirius; and once he's got a plan, you'd be hard-pressed to find Peter or James disagreeing, particularly when it involves girls. That means I'm be the only one disapproving – and I can be easily ignored."

"You sound bitter," Sadie notes, popping up out of nowhere on his other side. "What if you're the one some chick wants to date when we're done here?"

"Then I date her, because I'll get to know her very well, but I won't be happy about it," Remus says bluntly. "This whole thing is silly. James and Sirius are just bored – and this is the result."

"I think it'll be fun," I volunteer, joining the other three. "I mean, it's a chance to know different people you don't normally talk to." And crush them, I think in my head. But I don't say so.

"Yeah, there's that aspect, too," Sadie agrees. "I wonder what's going to be planned for us."

"You'll get to know at least some of it when Sirius, James, and Peter explain it." Remus gives another heavy sigh. "I'm only going to be a judge. I'm not going to have a big role in this competition."

"How'd they get you to agree to that?" Alicia wants to know.

"They swore to me they would stop copying my homework at breakfast," says Remus.

The three of us girls laugh, but Remus remains slightly sour, not quite as amused since he's the one who endures it everyday. I think he's cute when he's sour – especially because he knows this is going to be a blast. Maybe when I win, I'll date him, just to spite him. I'm sure he'll be pretty grateful then.

Finally, Sirius gets us up to a dead-end corridor at the back of the seventh floor. Here, we end up at the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. We're all kind of confused as to why we're here, when we've passed this place about a hundred times on our way to lessons and all, but James only looks solemnly over us.

"Okay, I know this doesn't look like much," he says. "but actually, this is the hall where the Room of Requirement is located; and since we have no other places to store you lot at night, we're doing it here."

There are 'ooh's' and 'aah's' at the thought of the Room of Requirement. Leave it to the Marauders to leave us in a place of legend.

"Are you sure it's real?" the rag-doll blonde – Hannah – asks anxiously. "I thought it was just a f-fantasy."

"Real? Of course it's real!" Sirius proclaims. "We've been there thousands of times. Now, the thing about the Room is that you have to think really, really hard, 'I need a place to stay while I'm in Hogwarts' Next Top Model.' The Room will only appear if it knows you're in need of it."

"Can you show us how?" This is Lucille. Her voice is especially annoying when she wants to get into bed.

"Sure thing." James gives a grand sweep of his arms. "Wormtail, you want to do the honors?"

"If you insist, Prongs." Peter winks at James and screws his eyes shut, looking like he might shit himself at any second. A few of us chuckle, the three other Marauders grinning slightly together. However, after a few seconds, a large set of wooden double-doors appears on the wall, much to our astonishment. So it is real!

"In you get, ladies," Peter chirps.

Now, of course, there's a huge swarm to get to the room, which is quite interesting to the non-Marauders. It's a gorgeous room, really – it's big and airy, furnished in purple so that it's girly without being overbearing. There are a bunch of beds arranged in a semi-oval and plenty of chairs, sofas, and rugs. There are two bathrooms and an enormous mirror with a few dressers for our things. It's a girl's paradise. The Marauders stand to the side as an explosion breaks out to find a bed.

Luckily, I find a nice one in the corner and settle down in it, claiming it as my own. Most of the other girls do the same, fighting over who gets to be by whom, begging to switch. Lily sulkily settles in the bed next to Alice's and refuses to talk to anyone else or give up her bed. She has brought a book – once she has her bed, she's through with us. But, quickly, we run into a problem.

"I don't have a bed," wails Lucille when all the beds have been claimed. "Why is that? What's going on here?"

"See, that's another part of the game." This is James who speaks, sounding very amused. "We decided that there are only going to be nine beds when there are ten of you. One of you will have to bunk out on the floor in a sleeping bag."

"I guess that would be you, Lucille," says Georgiana. She doesn't sound too sorry about it – she doesn't appear to like Lucille very much. Lucille is mortified at this thought.

"What?" she whines. "I can't sleep on the floor, that's not fair! I want a bed!"

"Sorry," says Alicia, blowing another bubble with her gum. "Guess you're out of luck for tonight."

Lucille looks like she'll throw a tantrum, but thankfully, Sirius steps in and says, "So this is where you'll be rooming. No need to thank us."

"We're sure you'll want some time to yourselves to get to know this place and figure out the bed situation," James says, clearing his throat. "That's why we're not going to tell you the rules and how the game works tonight. We'll save that for tomorrow."

"Your job is to stay here tonight, go to class as usual in the morning, and report back to this corridor right after classes end. Drop your bags off in your common rooms and be here. We'll be having our first event and our first elimination. We'll explain rules as the challenge goes on tomorrow. It's more fun that way."

"Have a good night, ladies," Peter says, grinning all woolly-like at us. "We'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Bye," we chorus as a group (except Lily, who's pursing her lips and continuing with her book). The Marauders give us a wave and leave the Room of Requirement, leaving us where we are. The moment the door closes, Lucille begins to holler again.

"I don't want to sleep on the floor!" she gripes. "I hate being on the floor!"

"Cool your cauldrons, Lucille," says Sydney Shaw, hopping off her bed and going towards a cupboard in the back of the room. "Here, you have a sleeping bag." She opens the little doors and tosses Lucille a pink sleeping bag. "Pick a comfy rug and you'll be all right."

"But that's not a _bed_!" Lucille objects. "My nose gets blocked easily and my back is sore, so I need a mattress to sleep on tonight, otherwise I'll be a complete wreck by the morning."

"Well, you were too slow to get one, so now you have to deal with it." Sydney shrugs. "We're not about to give up a bed for you."

Lucille's lower lip juts out as she surveys the nine faces in front of her. I can't believe how childish she's being, really; I mean, it's just a bed. She'll be going home soon enough anyway – she's so annoying. The Marauders would never put up with the likes of her. I don't know what her problem is – and I'm obviously not the only one confused.

"Just shove it," says Georgiana. "It doesn't matter if you have a bloody bed. You have a place to sleep and no one's going to feel sorry for you if you act like a baby. Let it go."

With this, she flops back on her own bed and announces, "I don't know about you lot, but I'm going to sleep. G'night."

She doesn't bother to change into night clothes. She simply snuggles up in the covers and closes her eyes. She doesn't seem like one who takes bullshit – which is a good thing if it shuts Lucille up and a bad thing if the Marauders like that. Lucille is definitely one who sees it as a bad thing.

"Fine," she says with a sniffle, going over to the dresser and huge mirror, untying her dirty-blonde hair from her ponytail. "_Fine_. I'll sleep on the sleeping bag and ruin my back. I hope it makes you happy."

"We'd be happier if you shut up about it now," Georgiana mumbles loudly. Lucille glares at her, but huffs off to a pink rug, grabbing the discarded sleeping bag and opening it up.

"I can't wait until one of us gets out tomorrow," she says. "Then I'll have a bed."

I hear Georgiana grunt from her bed, which means she wants to respond, but she doesn't. Instead, Sydney is the one who speaks up angrily:

"Hey, hey, none of that," she says. "Don't be bitter because you didn't get so lucky this time. This is a competition, not a bitch-fest. Don't say stupid things."

Lucille looks like she wants to respond, but only now does Lily intervene.

"Quit being idiots and go to sleep," she snaps. "It's a bed. You'll survive without one. Lots of people do everyday."

And, because she's Lily Evans and she's not in a good mood today, Lucille finally subsides, retreating into her sleeping bag. Sydney looks in Lily's direction to share a victory glance, but Lily's already into her book again. Alice sighs next to her and snuggles in as well. The rest of us sort of follow suit within the next few minutes, none of us much in the mood to talk. Lucille is certainly a joy-kill.

If I could pick one girl to leave this competition right now, I would think Lucille or Hannah would be it. One of them. Or maybe Verity. They're the weakest here right now – easy to handle. The rest of them will take time to wear down, but I'm sure I'll win this.

I smile sneakily to myself as I work on relaxing myself in preparation for sleep – if this group of girls is going to be my competition, this will be almost too easy.

--

A/N: **Review, por favor**. It makes my muse behave better – and I **actually kind of want to finish this one**. You'll get to know the rest of the girls better as the story progresses. **I hope you liked it!!**


	4. Oh, Those Horny Boys

A/N: This story is going to be** longer than I thought** because the chapters have to be **way longer** and **more frequent** than I planned originally – this chapter's long enough and it still doesn't have everything. That means I don't **know how long this will be **just yet.

I know it's **hard to keep track of all the girls**, but I promise guys, it **does get easier** as the story goes on and people leave. **POV's will keep changing**. That'll help establish personalities too.

And please keep** reading **and **reviewing**, guys – I really do appreciate your opinions.

--

**Sadie Clark**

--

When I wake up the next morning, it takes me a few seconds to remember where I am and why I'm here.

All I see when my eyes first open is purple. Lots and lots of purple. Blegh. Purple is one of my least-favorite colors – I prefer something a little darker, a little kinder on the eyes when I'm so out of it. I have a feeling I'm not going to enjoy living in this place for however long I'm here, because everyone else loves it. I wish the Room would put some more blues in here to soothe my aching eyes. Maybe when more people are gone. Meh.

As consciousness slowly makes friends with me, one of the first things I notice is that I'm the first one up; but I figure it won't be long before the rest of them will all be awake soon, because it'll be time for class. Better make use of the quiet – I don't think I'll be getting much of it from now on. Yawning, I get out of bed and find that all my stuff is already here. Hooray for Room of Requirement miracles.

On a fit of inspiration, I scratch my name with my quill on the drawer I've chosen for my clothes. I don't want anyone, especially that irritating Lucille, taking my space. Having to slap her so early in the competition won't be too much fun for either of us. I usually save my slapping hand for later, when I know more about who I'm getting red hand-marks on.

As I'd predicted, the girls start getting up and looking around within a little bit, greeting each other with punctuating yawns. I'm already dressed and putting on my socks when Lucille wakes up in her sleeping bag. She's by far the loudest yawner in this group.

"Oh Merlin, is it time to wake up already?" she asks. Her voice is ridiculously tinny – and if I thought it was tinny last night, it's even worse in the early morning.

"Yes, Sleeping Beauty, up you get," I snap gruffly.

"Well," she quips, "no need to be so rude about it."

Georgiana and Sydney snicker together in their respective places.

"She's not being rude, she's being truthful," Georgiana states. "You woke up the latest out of all of us. Sadie's already dressed."

"So that's Sadie's problem, not mine," says Lucille with a scowl. "Merlin, why is everyone out to get me here? I don't understand it, I haven't done anything wrong!"

"You know, it's not very nice of you to pick on Lucille like that," Hannah the blonde pips up from her corner. "She hasn't done anything wrong."

A few of us exchange glances around the room at this, but Hannah shuts up and Lucille looks delighted to have someone on her side. To be honest, I don't know what exactly about Lucille I so severely dislike, but I do know that she annoys me greatly. I can't wait to see the back of her, personally, and there are several people in here that would wholeheartedly agree with me…ahemGeorgianaandSydneyahem.

We don't say much more, though, as we get ready and wait for the others to get ready too. It just feels right to walk together. We break off into partnerships – I go with Alicia, Lucille latches onto Hannah, Lily goes with Alice, Georgiana with Sydney, Verity and Rosaline floating off on their own – and make our ways to our respective first periods.

I've got Potions with old Sluggy first period. Whoever dreamed this one up clearly has no reverence for my nerves. I can't think so early in the morning.

I walk into the room and settle into my seat. Sluggy's saying something. I don't know what it is. All I know is that I will most likely have a lot of homework tonight and I have that Marauder challenge to do as well. I rest my forehead on my table and wrap my arms around myself snugly, protectively.

This is going to be a long day.

**&**

I don't know how I do it, but somehow, I manage to drag myself through the entire day of lessons. I was right at the start – I do have plenty of homework – but I don't really feel like doing it, so I don't. I have the Marauder thing to do, though, so I don't leave myself _too _much time to feel guilty. That's something, I suppose.

I end up eating dinner with Alicia today. I didn't really think I would – I've known Alicia forever because she's in my house and my year but we've never been close – yet she cheerfully beckons me over when I walk in. I figure it's rude to reject her invitation, so I tell my friends I'll eat with them tomorrow and I slip in the seat beside her.

As it turns out, Alicia hangs out with a surprisingly fun set from Hufflepuff. Maybe they don't deserve their reputations as duffers after all. I dunno.

After we're through, Alicia checks her watch and informs the Hufflepuffs – Derrick, Sean and Rachel – that we've got to go. They wave merrily and wish us luck. We walk out of the Hall together and when I turn around, I see a few of the other girls I met last night walking out behind us.

It's kind of odd to me, how I've gone to school with these people everyday, and yet I'm only noticing some of them now for the very first time. Like Alicia. Alicia's a nice girl, very friendly, but I don't think we would have spoken ever if it hadn't been for this drama.

I'm joined on my other side by Lily and Alice when we get to the moving staircase. Alice is busy murmuring something near her friend's ear. I'm guessing it's got something to do with this competition thing, because Lily looks like she's just swallowed several lemons whole. I decide to do a little investigating.

"Hi," I say. "How are you?"

"Absolutely fantastic," Lily mutters mutinously, blowing a strand of her red hair out of her face. Alice sighs heavily.

"Sadie, you're a fairly level-headed person, aren't you?" she asks.

I blink. "Erm…for the purposes of this conversation, I believe I am."

"Good," she says. "Then can you explain to Lily that this Hogwarts' Next Top Model thing is only a bit of good fun and _not _something to verbally abuse at her every waking hour?"

I open my mouth to speak, but Alicia interrupts me, her voice as excited as ever as she says, "It's going to be _cool_, Lily. Give it a chance, you know? All it is, is a group of four horny boys who need an excuse to look at us luscious ladies in the evenings, nothing else. No one's going to try anything – and if they do, I'm sure you can kick their arses into next week. You have nothing to worry about."

"What she said," I agree, pointing at Alicia.

Alice and Alicia beam, but Lily still doesn't appear convinced.

"I think the whole thing is stupid – and I shouldn't have to turn up at their beck and call to satisfy their horny teenage fantasies," she insists. "I bet you…ten Sickles that James Potter is going to try touching me somewhere inappropriate tonight."

"I'm taking that bet," Alicia says with a grin. "Mostly because I know he won't. He's horny, but he's not a complete idiot."

Lily raises an eyebrow and Alicia deflates very slightly, realizing that she's lost this round. I chuckle, but Alice takes charge once more.

"Lily, for goodness sake, stop being such a prat," she says. "We're going to go in there, do whatever they want us to do, and we're going to enjoy it, because it's a game and we have nothing better to do anyway."

"Speak for yourself," Lily objects indignantly. "I'd rather eat a pound of flubberworms."

"I actually did that for a bet once," Alicia reminisces. "Believe me; this is going to be _much_ more fun. Trust me!"

The seventh floor is in sight now. The four of us get off the staircase, Alicia practically skipping to the right corridor, dragging Lily along with her. Alice and I follow along, amused, as Lily squeals and struggles to get free. Alicia's grin only widens. We turn up at the corridor and find that Rosaline and Verity are already there. Verity looks lost, as usual. Rosaline is anxious. She's way too into this game.

We wait a few minutes and the rest of the girls eventually join us at their own pace, some coming in pairs and others coming alone. We chatter amongst ourselves for a bit until three of the Marauders join us (Remus mysteriously has not shown up today), talking together and laughing about something. James in particular looks particularly luscious when he's cracking up. Not that I'd ever tell him that. I untie my hair from its usual ponytail so that it hopefully covers my cheeks, which might have gone mysteriously pink.

"Hey, girls," Sirius says cheerfully, waving to us in greeting. He gets a delighted group cheer from us.

I glance over at Lily – she's got her arms crossed and she's glaring at them like there's no tomorrow. Alice is grinning and Hannah next to her looks like she might go into cardiac arrest or something.

"So, welcome to the _journey_," Sirius continues with a wink. "But before we begin, we've got to introduce you to our helpers."

"Obviously, we can't do this on our own," explains Peter. "So, we've enlisted these lovely ladies to help us with things like make-up and clothing and related female business."

"Are we wearing our own stuff or what?" This is Sydney. She looks amused, but skeptical.

"No, no, you won't have to wear your own stuff," Peter assures her. "We've got friends in Hogsmeade who let us borrow things for each event. They've been pretty nice to us."

"Yeah. We usually send Padfoot to get the favors from Hogsmeade ladies." James grins widely and nudges his best friend. "They tend to be more…accommodating after they talk to him."

Sirius only winks. I'm betting several girls just had mini cardiac arrests. I'm not; I bow my head down a little so more of my hair covers my cheeks.

"Anyway, so here are our lovely helpers," Peter finishes, gesturing grandly at four girls shyly walking over to us. They're young – third year – and they're all blonde with bright eyes, seeming like just the type to help four miscreants gather ten pretty girls every few nights.

"Bella, Sara, Penny, and Mary," Sirius says, petting the corresponding girl's head as he introduces them. "They're Gryffindors and have kindly volunteered to make you beautiful for us."

"Hi." Penny is the only one brave enough to squeak a greeting. She immediately shuts up. I smirk.

"Tonight's challenge is going to be a simple photo-shoot," says James. "We don't want to ruin it for you right now – you'll see what it is when you get to the pile of clothes we've already pre-selected for you."

"Couldn't we just go to the Room of Requirement and get clothes for ourselves?" This time, it's Lucille with the tinny voice. She sounds particularly whiny when she has a question, I am discovering.

"Well, you could, technically speaking," Sirius allows, "but where would be the fun in that?"

Thankfully, Lucille seizes the moment to shut up. Yay!

"Yeah. Okay. Now we've got one more thing we need to go over before we shoo you out to get dressed." James claps his hands together, looking excited. "That would be…elimination." Collective shudder. "Wormtail, take it away."

"My pleasure, Prongs." Peter grins a sweet grin. "It's actually quite simple, ladies – in the evening, we do the challenge of the day, and the next evening, we gather back here right after classes. If it's a photo challenge, like today, we show the group the picture and critique it in front of you. If it's a different challenge, we'll just talk about it. Then, once we've gone through all of you, you get sent away for a bit and we deliberate on who we think is not up to par this week."

"And there _is _always going to be one elimination a challenge – just so you know," Sirius inserts.

"We'll call you in order of success in the challenge and the last one called will be the one we banish from the competition," says Peter. "Then you'll be dismissed to go about your business. All of you still in the competition get to sleep in the Room every night. The next day, we continue on with the next challenge – until one of you is left standing."

"And, to let the school know which of you is out each week, we're going to be posting pictures of you in the Gryffindor common room," says James. "When you get out, we put a big X over your picture. It's the responsibility of the Gryffindors to inform the rest of the school who's done."

"The Entrance Hall is a tad conspicuous, we figured." Sirius does his signature wink again.

"This shouldn't be a long competition," James says. "It'll be over soon. The winner, of course, gets to take out the Marauder (he gestures to himself and his friends) of her choice."

"Easy enough?" Sirius looks around expectantly, waiting for any more questions. There aren't any. Just out of curiosity, I glance at Lily again – she's tuned out, chewing at her fingernails with a dark expression on her face.

I have to work hard not to giggle; so far, Lily's one of my favorite girls here, other than Alicia. Her genuine negativity, when compared to the overdose of irritating idolization going on sometimes, is rather refreshing.

"Okay, cool," Sirius says once he's decided no one has any questions. "That being said, go ahead with our girlies and get dressed in the nearest unused classroom. We'll be in the other nearest unused classroom with the camera."

The three Marauders cheerfully wave good-bye to us and the third-years begin walking down the corridor, obviously meaning for us to follow along. We do just that and the little thought-bubble over all our heads is filled with only one question:

What the hell are we going to be doing next?

**&**

The first photo-shoot is a schoolgirl photo-shoot.

When we walk into our unused classroom with the third-years, we zero in on three different piles of clothes waiting for us on the dusty teacher's desk. One has white blouses in varying sizes; the other has red-and-black plaid skirts, all very, very short; and the other has black Mary Janes in varying sizes as well. Clearly, we're about to employ some serious irony here – it will either be really fun or a complete disaster. I'm not sure which yet. Perhaps it'll be a mix of both; that's certainly what the eyebrow radar is saying right now.

"What the fuck?" Sydney is the first to speak, shaking her head in disbelief and clutching her dark brown curls. "We're going to be dirty schoolgirls?"

Alicia bursts out laughing maniacally, impish delight sparkling in her electric blue eyes. "Ha! What fun!"

She's the first one to start whizzing over to the piles of clothes. Sydney groans, but joins her. This is the cue for the rest of the girls to trail along. I am part of this pack, interested and quite entertained. Clearly, Lily's theory on horny fantasies is not too far from the truth.

Sara and Mary help us find shoes, while Penny and Bella work on finding us skirts and blouses. They are all extremely tiny – Georgiana, who has a pretty full bust, complains about how hard it will be to squeeze in – until we discover that they are meant to reveal our midriffs. Bella tells us with furiously crimson cheeks. When Lily hears this, she all but blows her head off.

"No! _No_!" she hollers, going as red as her hair and Bella's face. "I am _not _going to do this! I'm _not _going to dress like some whore! I don't know who the fuck they're kidding, but I'm not doing this, _I'm not doing this_!"

"Lily–" Alice attempts.

"NO!" Fire flickers in Lily's emerald eyes. "This isn't happening; I can _not _believe I almost let you talk me into this, Alice. I won't do this!"

"Lily—" This time Georgiana attempts to say something, holding her tiny white shirt in her hands, but she's also cut off.

"This is _ridiculous_," Lily hisses. "I won't be their sex toy and nothing you say or do will convince me otherwise."

With this, she flounces out of the room, presumably to find the Marauders and promptly strangle them. Alice, looking troubled, scampers out after her friend. Me and the rest of the girls turn to look blankly at the third years. They don't look very surprised.

"Prongs warned us that might happen," says Penny.

"Were you given any orders?" Sydney wants to know.

"Not really." Mary shrugs. "All he said was, 'If Evans stomps off to murder me, let things go on as normal. We'll take care of it.' Take that how you will."

"They won't actually make her dress and take the picture, will they?" I wonder aloud.

"They can try, but there's only so much they can _make _her do," Georgiana reasons. "She doesn't want to be here. She's made that quite clear."

"Does it really matter?" Rosaline pips up. "I want to get started. I want to do the challenge."

"Meow, sex kitten!" Alicia twitters, giggling. "Right then, for Rosaline's sake, let's be good little girls and dress up. Or, rather, dress down."

"You're having way too much fun with this." Georgiana grimaces as she begins shedding her current skirt for the new one.

"Isn't that what we're here for?" says Alicia.

"Technically, we are here to fulfill a horny male fantasy," I suggest.

Alicia giggles. "True."

"These Marauders are funny creatures, aren't they?" Verity Robinson chimes in dreamily as she unbuttons her shirt. It's surprising to hear her actually talking. "I never would have thought we'd do something like this. Is it allowed?"

"Probably not," says Hannah, appearing at Verity's elbow. Her voice is almost as tinny as Lucille's. "I don't know if we should…" She glances towards the door Lily had just blown out of.

"I'm not sure why you're complaining," Rosaline says. She's already almost done. "I think it's fun – it's something sexy and silly that we can do as an alternative to memorizing Potions laws. Who cares if it's allowed? If the Marauders want to play, we ought to play."

Alicia goes off into fits of laughter, turning around so she can take off her old shirt and pull on her new one. I smirk at Rosaline.

"I'm sure if they want a porn video later, you'll be their first volunteer," I remark.

Rosaline only shrugs, unabashed. "I don't think they'll do a porn video, but with this challenge, I think I can go without a shirt for a few minutes if it means getting a date with one of those delicious boys."

"Figures." Georgiana snorts and exchanges glances with me.

Rosaline doesn't answer. She's already in her schoolgirl's outfit, grinning suggestively – she goes over to a set-up of desks in the back corner, where there they're doing makeup. Penny has already started on Verity's makeup, but Mary has a station open. Hannah is stumbling over as well, almost ridiculously thin and blonde and big-eyed.

Honestly, looking around here, I can't believe they have gotten us to wear such outrageous ensembles, all for the sake of these pictures. Other than Lily, none of us really protested, we all went along with it anyway. Even me. I don't know what it is about those Marauders that sways people into thinking it's just innocent fun when it most likely won't be. It's a gift – they are natural-born leaders, for better or for worse. There is nothing we can really do about this.

I feel cold in my underwear as I put on the new clothes, and even when I'm through, I don't feel much warmer. I shiver a little and hope I don't look too slutty – although the Marauders would probably love it if I was. Georgiana finishes next to me as well and we quickly give each other a once-over.

"You look good," comments Georgiana. "You should tie your hair back – you've got very pretty olive eyes."

"Thanks." I blush slightly, but tie my hair back like it had been before. "You look good too," I say.

And she does – Georgiana could be a Spanish gypsy if she wanted to be, she's all curves and creamy skin and dark eyes and voluptuous curly brown hair. Her figure is full, her shoulders broad; what little clothing she's wearing hugs her in all the right places and she looks quite sexy. The Marauders will love her. I give her an approving smile and she flushes very slightly.

"Thanks," she says. "C'mon – let's get our makeup done and get out of here. I didn't do my Transfiguration homework and McGonagall will have my arse if it's not done."

I chuckle. "I didn't do it either – haven't for the past week. She'll have my head on a platter one of these days."

Georgiana laughs and we make our way over to Bella. She's ready and waiting for us. I let Georgiana go first and privately wish Lily would join the chaos. The look on James Potter's face if she walked in dressed like we are now would be absolutely beyond priceless.

**&**

Once we're all done and made over, Sara explains to us that she'll be taking us one by one to the Marauder's room for our photo-shoot. After our picture, we are to come back here, change, and go back to our common rooms. We are not allowed to keep the clothes – and frankly, I don't think any of us want to. Sara asks for a volunteer to go first.

Before anyone can take a breath, Rosaline announces that she would like to go first. She looks around expectantly, as if to seek out some competitor for her place that she can stomp on, but she remains unchallenged. She struts out of the room with Sara and we are left to chat in peace.

I chat with Sydney, Alicia and Georgiana. Hannah and Lucille talk together, since Lucille and Georgiana don't like each other much and Hannah is so quiet. Verity sits off by the side humming softly to herself, hugging her knees with her head back against the wall. It's an odd sight, considering her attire, but she looks happy spaced out on her own. More power to her, I suppose.

While we gossip away about the latest Gryffindor scandal – I need to find out Alicia's social sources, because her news is delightfully filthy – Alice returns to the little classroom. Everyone turns to look at her when she appears in the doorway, a rich pink color all too apparent in her face. She is alone.

"Hey, Alice," Alicia says cheerfully, because she's the only one brave enough to break the awkward quiet as Alice goes to get her clothes. "Where did Lily go?"

"She is…having a word with the Marauders," Alice says with a cough, pulling on her skirt. "I don't think she will be doing this challenge."

"So…what will she do?" Sydney wonders.

"Before I left, I heard her shout at James that she will be in her dormitory taking an early night," reports Alice. "She refuses to be in this game any longer and will not be in the Room of Requirement, but I'm sure I can persuade her to come back…for me at the moment, though, I figured that it would be easier to just, well, do what they want without being too vulgar and move on. I'll join her in the dormitory when I'm through."

This seems good enough for Sydney, but we're all kind of awkward now, unsure of how to comment on Lily's hissy-fit. Somehow, I didn't think she'd be up for this, but I don't know how Alice will take that. Best to keep silent. Conversation starts up again after a few more awkward minutes watching Lily and Alice change, determinedly cheerful. That's no trouble for Alicia, who leads the whole thing. That girl was born to break awkward silences.

Bella and Mary do the makeup for Alice pretty quickly as a joint effort and she chooses to enter our conversation. She looks interesting – generally, her look is very sweet, with her chocolate eyes and light brown hair, so it's sort of strange to see her in something so revealing, but in a good way. Georgiana compliments her and she blushes. She's embarrassed, but the rosy blush only makes her look sweeter.

Rosaline presently returns to the classroom, seeming significantly pleased with herself. "I'm back!" she proclaims, as if it's a really big deal.

"Cool, how'd it go?" asks Hannah.

"It was fun – and I looked awesome," Rosaline brags immediately. It couldn't be more obvious she was waiting to be asked this. "Sirius took the pictures and James and Peter directed the shots. It was so great."

"Wasn't it weird, wearing that for them?" Lucille is anxious – her big blue eyes are staring Rosaline down with obvious tension. She's not used to being looked at this long; she's awkward about this.

"Not at all," says Rosaline. "It's so easy; they make you feel really comfortable."

Hannah has another question and Rosaline gladly answers – she sits down with her and Lucille and they start talking frantically about the photo-shoot. Sara turns her attention to the rest of us.

"Who's going next?" she asks timidly.

We look around at each other, questioning. Finally, Alice bravely stands up when the tension has filled out its quota. "I'll go," she volunteers. "I'm sure Lily will have a rant or two ready for me before I convince her to come back here."

"Cool." Sara's smile is anxious. "Let's go, then."

Alice shrugs, a gesture far too passive for her outfit. Sydney chuckles under her breath as Alice departs from the room, posture ridiculously demure.

Sydney, Georgiana and I exchange grins as the door shuts. Alice is far too sweet to be a sex toy. I, for one, cannot wait to see her picture.

**&**

Girls traipse in and out of the room for some time after Rosaline returned. When Alice comes back, she changes and rushes back out presumably to return to her dormitory and her best friend, true to her word. She's in and out so fast it's hard to remember she was there.

It's nice that Alice worries, but privately, I think she should let Lily's bad attitude shine for all its worth without fussing over her. Knowing the Marauders, Lily will be here a long time and she will have to get used to this game – she can't quit. Bitching will only get her so far before she has to play along for real. But for now, Alice is there to soothe Lily's anguish and we don't get to talk to her much. It's a pity – I like Alice.

I am the last girl to go. I wasn't really particular about it, it just happened that way. Every girl had a different story to tell when she came back to the room. Hannah looked mortified, but Alicia looked like she'd had the time of her life. Alicia and Sydney are nice enough to stay behind to wait for me, so I don't have to leave alone. I appreciate it. I'm starting to like Alicia quite a lot – she's such a bundle of joy.

I'm not sure what to expect when Sara takes me to the classroom. I knock on the door before I enter and Sirius shouts, "Oi, come in already!" So much for politeness.

I walk in and true to the girls' word, desks are arranged all around the front of the classroom around the teacher's desk. Sirius, James, and Peter are in the back, roaring with laughter over something. I grin.

"Hey, boys," I say. They don't freak me out.

"Hey, Sadie," says Sirius with a whistle. "Damn! You're the last one and I still can't get over how hot these outfits are. Nice choice, Wormy."

"I told you red was better than blue for the skirts, Prongs," Peter teases, to which James only grins.

"So where's Remus?" I ask out of curiosity.

"He had 'homework to do,'" Sirius says with a roll of his expressive eyes, putting heavy finger quotes around the last three words. "He doesn't care about this competition; it's mostly just us three. We got Remus to agree to judging, but that's it – the rest he only does if he feels like it."

I smile. "Oh."

"Anyway, it's your photo-shoot now," says James. "You get twenty shots. Make of them what you will."

"So I can do anything?"

Sirius nods. "You can play it safe or make me drool you a river. Whichever you prefer. We've had a bit of both, if you get my drift."

"Okay." Feeling a little gutsy, I hop onto the teacher's desk and put on my sarcastic sweet-as-apple-pie face while fiddling with the elastic of my skirt-waist. "How's this?"

Sirius's grin is very wide. "Perfect."

I spend the next nineteen shots just exploring this role. I'm never going to be signing up for this kind of thing any time soon, but since I'm here, I might as well play around, pull a few raunchy poses, bite my lip and keep my tongue in my cheek. It's stupid, it's clumsily flirty, but the boys love it. Their encouragement cheers me on. Sirius and James whistle a lot and Peter says things like, "Sexy!" "Awesome!" "Hey, that was cool!" "Work it out!" It's more fun than it should be. Damn those horny boys.

It finishes too fast and I thank the Marauders even though I don't have to. James thanks me back and winks. I turn before he can see me blushing and motor out of the room as fast as I can. I find Alicia and Sydney alone in the classroom – the third-years are gone. Alicia's eyes glitter like diamonds caught in the light.

"Hey," she says. "How'd it go?"

"It was…interesting, to say the least," I admit.

Sydney laughs. "They're such freaks," she says affectionately.

"You got that right," I say.

"Tell me about it," Alicia agrees as she and Sydney stand to leave with me.

Blushing even more under her flattering attentions, I walk with Sydney and Alicia and tell them about the madness of my photo-shoot. They love it. The three of us make our way to the Room of Requirement where all the rest of the girls are talking or drifting off to sleep or doing homework, and our conversation continues long past midnight. They're wonderful people.

And, as my eyes flutter closed from the exhaustion and insanity of this evening, I can't help but wonder for whom the party will end for tomorrow, when the Marauders take their unbelievable game one step further and allow all hell to break loose.

Let the games continue…

--

A/N: Sorry for the **ridiculous length.** I would **get used to this**. Judging is next chapter, and don't worry, there's **more** about the **Lily-trying-to-leave-the-competition drama**. **Read **and **review**, darlings!!


	5. And Then There Were 9

A/N: Yes, you **are getting to know my girls **a bit better now – and it only gets easier from this point on. It's **tough** having so **many characters** to focus on. I'm **doing my best** though.

As ever, **read **and **review** and (hopefully) **enjoy**!

--

**Hannah Middleton**

--

To be honest, it's hard to believe I got through the day after our first challenge with the Marauders.

When I woke up in the morning, I had this really queasy feeling in my stomach. I was so nauseous, I couldn't even eat breakfast – and normally, I'm not one to miss breakfast. I think this competition is already getting to me. I only ever get stomachaches when I'm nervous about something, and since I didn't get a P on my last essay, I can't be worried about anything else. It's driving me mad.

I feel queasy all through the morning, even at lunch. Emmy tries to get me to eat something, anything, but I just can't.

"I feel ill," I tell her as we sit at the Ravenclaw table, eating lunch. "I don't know what to do."

"You ought to go up to Pomfrey and get a stomach potion from her," advises Emmy. "Are you sure it has nothing to do with the Charms exam we have next week?"

"No, no, I'm more than ready for that," I say.

"Is it the modeling thing?" Emmy's tone is sympathetic.

I swallow a sip of my pumpkin juice. "Maybe," I fret. "I mean…it was horrid, and frankly quite cold, having to do what they asked."

"Are you nervous about leaving the competition?" asks Emmy.

"I dunno if I got a good picture or not," I say. "They didn't really say much."

"Did you pose all sexy-like?"

I exhale in one big blow. "Kind of," I say. "I think I posed all right, but they might be annoyed because I didn't try flirting with them or showing off my bra strap or anything. Rosaline told me she did that."

Emmy snorts. "Rosaline is an idiot, I wouldn't pay her any attention. You probably did marvelously – although, admittedly, if they didn't see your bra, I don't know how good your chances are going to be."

"They're not _that _shallow," I protest. "I mean, they have a tendency of focusing on things like bras, but otherwise, I mean, they're great guys. Really great guys."

"Or they're a group of really great guys featuring one really, _really _great guy." Emmy winks and takes a bite of her food.

I blush. "Stop it."

"You're being pathetic, Hannah," she complains. "Tell him you like him! I'm sure he'd give you a go if he knew what you were going through. Peter is more empathetic than James or Sirius."

"If I win this, he'll be my choice," I reason. "There's no point in asking him out now that I'm in. I really hope I get the date though…"

I let my voice trail off as I blush harder and drink pumpkin juice. Emmy, a girl with a boyfriend, is frustrated but she doesn't say anything. She knows better than to try cajoling anything else out of me. She often complains that I am far too passive for my own good, but me, I say it's better to be passive than to throw yourself in the midst of chaos for the "fun" of it. I'm better with observing than doing anyway.

Thankfully, the subject changes now and we go on to something else. I'm glad. I need something to distract me from the trauma of this competition, because my stomach can't take this and I still have a few more hours yet before they do judging.

…Help?

**&**

After classes, true to our words, I go to the hall where the Room of Requirement is and find most of the other girls there, waiting with me for the Marauders. They still freak me out when I look at them, although I don't know why. Some of them are a little older than me, but some are my age. I'm sixteen years old. I have to get a grip on myself – I can feel my legs shaking just slightly.

I see Rosaline and Lucille standing there together, talking. When Lucille sees me, she beckons me over and I come gratefully – making friends can be difficult for me sometimes, but Lucille has been rather sweet about including me. More than the other girls, anyway. Alicia is buddy-buddy with Sadie, Georgiana, Sydney and Lily, who are all fairly intimidating; Alice is lovely but she's best friends with Lily; and Verity doesn't talk much. Lucille is my best shot at friendship here without Emmy.

"Hi Lucille, Rosaline," I say with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine," Lucille says with a wave of her hand.

"Actually, we were just discussing that Lily Evans girl," Rosaline divulges, her brown eyes flashing. "You remember she didn't do the challenge last night, and she's not here right now, and neither is Alice! Do you think she'll be back?"

"I think Alice might make her come today," says Lucille, "but the Marauders will have to dismiss her because she didn't do the photo-shoot."

"But then, James Potter likes her," Rosaline reminds me. "He won't want her gone, not before we do something involving swim-wear."

"But then, they don't want to make this unfair for the rest of us, just because of Lily," adds Lucille. "So it's a complicated situation. What do you think will happen?"

"Erm…"

My honest answer would be that I'm slightly overwhelmed with facts, I don't like gossip, and I don't particularly care about what Lily Evans does because she's irrelevant to my thing for Peter Pettigrew. But from what little I know of Rosaline and Lucille, I have a feeling this won't be a satisfactory statement. I decide to play along.

"Erm, I think Lily will end up with another chance, somehow," I say. "James likes her too much. When – and if – they eliminate her, it won't be tonight."

Apparently, this is an intriguing conclusion, because Lucille and Rosaline break off into excited whispers right away, discussing how this could possibly work out. I listen to be polite, but I'm glancing around to see what the rest of the group is up to. It seems Lily Evans is the hot topic of discussion at the moment.

"D'you think she'll turn up?" I hear Alicia ask.

"Yeah, she'll be here," Sadie answers. "I saw Alice dragging her out of Transfiguration on my way here."

"In a cat-fight, I think Lily would win," Sydney says. "She's an absolute monster when she wants to be."

"But Alice is her best friend," Georgiana insists. "She would work something out. They wouldn't cat-fight."

"They're debating the same thing over there," I tell Lucille and Rosaline. "They're confused too. I think we should just wait and see if she comes. That's all we _can _do."

"You're right," says Lucille. "We'll wait. But I think she won't make it."

"She will," argues Rosaline.

I shrug and keep my mouth shut, eyes trained on the corridor. The Marauders aren't here yet either. One of the two people will be on their way. Me personally, I don't know why everyone cares so much. Lily's not the prettiest girl here. Her presence or her absence won't tip the scale as dramatically as they think. But to each her own, I suppose.

After a few minutes, though, we hear footsteps and there isn't a pair of eyes in this corridor that isn't waiting to see whose they are. It turns out they belong to James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily _and_ Alice. The surprise is pretty evident in all our faces as we take in this new development, Alice and Lily going to stand by Sadie's group. Sadie looks like she's dying to question them, but will wait until later to do so.

"Ladies! 'Ello!" Sirius chirps. "Well now, it's so nice to be all together, don't you think?" He put his arm around Remus's shoulder and gave his friend a little shake, an appreciative smile playing on his lips.

"Good evening," Remus says, his voice clear and sweet and unaffected as ever.

"Hi," I say, to be polite. A couple of girls stare at me and my eyes avert to the floor. Remus waves at me.

"So, tonight's your first judging!" announces James. "We're going to be doing it in the unused classroom we did the photo-shoot in last night. Best place to do it, we figured."

"And, since we're not about to spoil your surprise by telling you about it right now, we say let's go," says Peter. "It's time you lot get to see how you did. I'm sure you've been waiting."

Mystified glances pass between us, but I don't want to speculate anymore. There's no way to speculate what the Marauders will do. Lucille and Rosaline are whispering again, and so are Alicia and the others. Me and Verity are the only two who don't talk – we just follow along, wondering what will happen on our own. I do that a lot.

The ten of us file into the unused classroom and immediately, the Marauders jump behind the big teacher's desk, which looks suspiciously enlarged. They have taken four chairs to settle down on, facing us. The other desks have been cleared to the sides and we stand in front of them in a clump. Sirius produces a folder – presumably of pictures – from his robes and sets it on the desk between him and James. The boys grin together.

"Here are your pictures," says James. "We're going to be doing this one at a time, judging through the pictures. We looked through all your pictures and chose the best ones for judging. They're in the order you girls went – which means Rosaline will be the first. Step forward, Rosaline."

Puffing up with pride, Rosaline gives Lucille a smile (and gets an encouraging one in return) but doesn't look at me. She steps forward, as ordered, and stands stick-straight in front of the Marauders. I notice only now that her shirt is a tad low and reveals perhaps more cleavage than anyone needs to see. Doesn't she have a boyfriend?

"All right then, let me see," says Rosaline.

Sirius nods and extracts the picture and his wand. Nonverbally, he blows the picture up and sticks it to the blackboard so that we can all see it. Alicia actually giggles and she isn't the only one – Rosaline's picture features her sitting on the teacher's desk staring straight at the camera, her legs long and visible, her fingers lifting up her bra strap rather suggestively. It's both cheesy and highly disturbing, at least to me. James and Peter smirk, while Remus only sighs. Sirius ponders.

"Hmmm," he says. "My first thought when I saw this was…interesting."

"In a good or a bad way?" I wish Rosaline wouldn't smile like that.

"A bit of both," Sirius says quite frankly. "You look like a hooker."

"Admittedly a hot hooker," adds James.

I glance over at Alicia – she has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. Georgiana looks quite the same.

"I don't know," Peter says, squinting at the image of Rosaline. "I think I should be turned on, but I'm not. Is _that_ a good thing?"

"I agree with Peter," announces Remus. "Consensus?"

"Hot," Sirius reports.

"Not," James reports.

"All right, Rosaline, there you go," says Remus with a nod. "We think you look like a hooker – and while that may work for Sirius, it doesn't work for the rest of us. Tone down the sex appeal and you should be all right."

"But…isn't that what you wanted?" Rosaline's a little unsure now.

"Well, yeah, but no," reasons Sirius. "You get what I'm saying?"

No, she probably doesn't – at least, I don't – but Rosaline gives a stiff nod and walks back to the group, obviously miffed. Alicia has retired to the back of the group so she can giggle freely in her hands.

"Next up is…" Sirius checks his pictures. "Alice. Come on up."

Alice goes on up as she was requested and stands, but she's not as proud as Rosaline. She's more sedate, nervous. Sirius blows her photo up as well and sticks it over Rosaline's picture. We all study the picture – it's a lot less sex-oriented than Rosaline's was, featuring Alice sitting on a student desk with her ankles entwined, biting her lower lip and her brown eyes catching the light, looking diagonally upward. She actually looks like a schoolgirl. Sirius ponders this one too.

"Hey, I like it," he proclaims. Alice glows at the compliment.

"Yeah, it's very…literal," notes James. "You look nice, Alice."

"But nice is all we can say," points out Sirius. "It's, like, the only word that works. She's just _nice_."

"That's not a bad thing," says Remus.

"But she should be interesting," reasons Peter.

"Merlin, I don't know what you all are on about," James complains. "I think she looks good! She's hot enough for the outfit and sweet enough for me."

"Nice job, Alice," Sirius says with a nod. "Thanks."

Alice bites her lip and goes pink as she steps back to the group.

"Oi, Alicia! You're up!" calls James.

"Hey, boys." Alicia grins impishly as she sidles forward.

"Hey, Alicia." James's grin is a little too impish in return. "How are you doing?"

"'M feeling great, thanks for asking." Alicia's bright blue eyes flash.

"Quit flirting, Prongs," Sirius says, kicking his friend under the desk, "and let's see her picture."

He sticks it to the wall and we look up. The photo is typically Alicia – she's crouched on top of a desk with her hand over her mouth, looking scandalized but wickedly so. After a moment, James actually chuckles.

"Alicia, you cracked me up the whole time we did this," he admits. "Just…wow. Fabulous stuff."

"Oh, _thank _you, Potter." Alicia fluffs up her super-short, spiked hair. "You're too kind, too kind."

"Oh, Delicia, what are we going to do with you?" James pulls a concerned face.

"Chicken noodle soup and butterbeer?"

"At nine in the afternoon!"

This makes no sense to us, but the two of them burst out laughing, full-out gut-busting laughing, together at some inside joke we're not privy to.

Sirius pulls a face too. "If you think _this _is bad, you should've seen them at it last night," he says in a stage-whisper to the rest of us. "Tip – if you want a better chance to win this competition, make unspeakably cheesy jokes with James at your next challenge."

"Shut up," James says, wiping his eyes and laughing still. "It's a good picture."

"You have lovely eyes," Remus notes.

"I like it," Peter agrees.

"Me too." James wipes his eyes and pulls out the next picture. "Go away, Delicia. Hey, Verity, your turn."

I jump as Alicia almost skips back and Verity brushes by me, her dusty-brown hair soft against my skin; I always forget she's here, because she's so quiet and up-in-the-air. She stands in front of the Marauders, slightly slumped over but quite upright because she's so tall.

"Hi," she says.

"'Sup, Verity?" Sirius lazily holds up his hand for a high-five. Verity, startled for a moment, steps up to slap his hand.

"Nothing much, Sirius," she says demurely. "I'm just waiting for you to judge my picture. Will you be doing that now?"

"Indeed I shall, love." Sirius grins and blows up her picture, placing it over Alicia's. He cocks his head to the side then, studying it, and we girls do too. To be honest, I don't like the picture much – Verity is pretty, there's no denying that, but that's all she is. She's sitting with an open book in her hands covering her entire face except her eyes, which are a murky gray-blue. She's staring off into the distance away from the camera and looks lost, as usual. But the boys seem to like it a lot.

"Pretty!" says Peter, giving her a warm smile that makes my heart skip a beat. "I like it, Verity."

"It's…serene," says James. "What were you thinking about?"

"I dunno," Verity says. "Just wondering what I ought to be looking at."

"I wonder what you'd look like if you were thinking about something else," muses Sirius. "I wish we could've seen more of you, but other than that, I like the picture."

"Thank you," says Verity.

Sirius waves his hand at her to shoo her away and she retakes her place near me. Peter gets to take out the next picture and says, "Lucille, you're up."

Lucille's smile is wide as she goes forward. She tied her fluffy dirty-blonde hair into a ponytail and, like Rosaline, she would have done well with a shirt that better covered her cleavage. "Hi," she says cheekily to the Marauders.

"Hey," says Sirius. "Let's see your best shot."

He blows it up and sticks it on top of Verity's picture so we can all get a good look. To my surprise, neither Sydney nor Georgiana snicker into their hands like they did with Rosaline – they're silent. I'm silent too, mostly because I'm not sure what to say. Lucille's picture is certainly a surprise – I would never have seen it coming.

She's lying on her back on the teacher's desk, her one arm hanging limp off the front and the hand on her other resting on her abdomen. She's looking directly into the camera with her lips slightly parted; soft; a mesmerizing pink. The intensity of her bright blue stare is startling – it's as if she's staring directly at me, as if she can see right through my soul. It's a beautiful, beautiful shot – almost too beautiful. Who'd have known?

"…Wow," is the first thing Sirius can say as he stares in awe of Lucille. "I can't believe we took that."

"That's amazing," James says, looking at Lucille as if he's only just seen her properly for the first time. "Damn, Lucy, you did better than I thought you would."

"Told you I would, Jamie," Lucille crows. She's clearly enjoying this.

"I'm sold," says Peter, making my heart melt all over again. "Lucille, you…you look brilliant. Wow. Just fantastic."

"Best picture in the bunch," adds Remus. "Really well done, Lucille. You really surprised us."

"Don't listen to him – _I _always knew you had it in you," Sirius says solemnly.

"Weren't you the one making bets with James when you thought I wasn't listening?" Lucille politely inquires.

"Rubbish," Sirius says, although he's grinning. "Nicely done. Hannah, you're up."

I start when I hear my name from Sirius's lips – it always makes me start because I'm unused to his attention. Even now, watching the other girls get their judgments has been nice, a sort of show for me to watch; it takes me a moment to remember I'm actually part of it. I chew on my lip as I shuffle towards the boys. Peter looks even better from this angle – his blonde hair is in his eyes and he's smiling at James.

"So, you ready for this, Hannah?" Peter asks me.

I don't trust my throat to behave in front of this boy – it's failed me on too many past occasions – so I nod. Sirius does the honors and gets my picture up on top of Lucille's.

Unfortunately, mine's not as striking as Lucille's. Not even close. Like the past couple of pictures, I'm looking into the camera, but I look almost…sad. I'm sitting in a desk, my cheek resting on my palm, and I look like someone just broke my heart. That could be explained by Peter's presence in the room, but I don't know what to think of it. I look to the Marauders for their opinions.

"I remember picking your picture was really hard," says James after a few moments. "You had a few I was between, and the only reason I picked this one was because you were…I dunno, soft. Like there was something seriously bothering you. The rest of your pictures didn't have that kind of emotion in them."

"Yeah," Peter agrees, making my stomach jump up into my chest. "What were you thinking about when we shot this?"

It becomes mysteriously hard for me to swallow – my throat is thick, closed up. I do my best, but when it isn't enough, I cough and give them a noncommittal shrug. Mercifully, they don't ask for more detail, choosing instead to scrutinize my image some more.

"Anyway, I think it's nice," says James. "We got some of everything, but nothing else like this. Good for you. Thanks, Hannah."

I smile – it's weak, but it works. I take my place and the Marauders move on to Sydney's picture, commenting and joking and laughing and poking fun. I can't focus now, after my picture has been judged. I think they like Sydney's but wish there was more personality there; and afterwards they love Georgiana's because she's all personality; and they absolutely adore Sadie's because she made Rosaline's hooker vibe much better and much funnier ("It looks like you're mocking her and you never even saw her pictures, I love it!" – that's what Sirius says) but I can't think about that.

Really, the only thought in my head is that oh my goodness, they liked my picture. They liked me pining over one of them. They liked me when I was feeling vulnerable, insecure – they showed me to these nine other gorgeous young women and had positive things to say. Peter liked me. It's almost too much to take in. I seem to belong here, despite the fact that Lucille and Rosaline are the only ones who talk to me, and that surprises me.

I can't focus. I won't. Sydney and Georgiana and Sadie get their judgments passed – their pictures seemed to be nice enough – and I finally come around when I hear James remark, "So, we commented on nine girls, but we have ten standing before us."

I blink and look to my right, where Lily Evans is standing with her arms crossed, eyebrow raised in challenge.

Oh, right. Lily didn't do this challenge. I blink a couple more times.

"Lily, would you like to come forward please?" James's tone is very polite and Lily, thankfully, says nothing rude – she only takes the six or so steps required to stand in front of the teacher's desk where we all stood, her expression harder than the stone floor and refusing to change otherwise.

"Hi Lily," says Sirius.

"Hi Sirius." Lily's voice is even. I don't know how she stands the look Sirius and James are giving her – curious, arrogant, a little haughty but still gorgeous – without flinching. By now, I would've been a puddle of pudding on the ground.

"So, Lily, you allegedly refused to take part in this photo-shoot," Peter says all business-like.

"Allegedly I did," Lily confirms.

"I believe your words were…I will never wear that bloody outfit for you horny prats and you had better fucking believe it?" inquires Remus, consulting his note sheet.

"I believe that was it." I can practically hear the smirk forming on her lips.

"Well, that poses a problem for us, doesn't it?" Sirius asks.

"It does pose a problem for you," says Lily. "I don't want to be here. I didn't take the picture. I suppose you'll have to chuck me out of your competition."

"That would be the natural course for someone who doesn't participate, you're right," says Sirius with a nod.

"So why don't you do it?" Lily wants to know.

"Because we haven't deliberated yet," answers James before Sirius can open his mouth. "If we decide to chuck you out, it'll be when we're all as a group. But, let me tell you, if we keep you, you're to do all the challenges we ask of you. No more skiving them off. You hear me?"

"I hear you, but I can't guarantee anything will happen." Damn that girl is bold. Her hands are on her hips and she's probably glaring bloody murder at that James Potter. I will never know how she does it, I really won't. Apparently, neither will James.

"Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you don't want to be here," says James.

"Blimey, your genius is showing again." Lily's remark is laden with sarcasm. "Nothing gets by you, does it?"

"Never, Evans – not with the three of us helping him," Sirius says. "Anyway, you can go back. There's nothing to judge…unless you want us to be creative and make something up."

"I think I'll go back now." Lily smirks and turns on her heel, cruising back to where she'd been standing between Alice and Sadie. James watches her go and I can swear something uncharacteristically soft and a lot like lust passes through his hazel eyes – but Lily's already turned away and by the time her attention is back to the front, the moment's gone. I don't think anyone but me noticed.

I know what he's going through. I feel bad as he clears his throat and shoos us away to let the Marauders deliberate on the results; maybe we're two very different people from two very different worlds, but when it comes to the people we love, we're not too different after all.

Oddly, I feel better as I lose myself in the midst of nine girls and escape out to the hall where we wait.

**&**

There's a vicious war of words in the hall to listen in through the space between the door and the floor when we're sent out – Alicia is on the brink of winning when we hear Sirius cast a charm on the door to make sure we don't eavesdrop. She curses and flops down to sit by the door, Sadie flopping down beside her, and they are quickly joined by Sydney and Georgiana. They're quite a group now. I sit with Rosaline and Lucille – who are, as can be predicted, discussing their performances in the photo-shoot.

Rosaline is muttering mutinously about how her picture was condemned as a "hooker" picture. Lucille is twittering about how they loved her picture and goes on to describe the exact moment it was taken with excruciating detail. They're an odd pair and my remarks aren't really worth endlessly dissecting, so I don't join in the conversation. I wait patiently until we're called back in for the final elimination.

My stomach is twisted up with nerves, but I have a feeling that I won't actually have to leave just yet. They liked me. Peter liked me. I take a moment to imagine how lovely it would be to have Peter sticking up for me if James or Sirius or Remus want to get rid of me – Peter raising his voice, pleading my case, caring about me even if for a minute. It's a nice thought, but it passes quickly and Sirius lets us in with a grave face scrubbed clean of emotion. I wonder what they were discussing without us there to defend ourselves.

The rest of the Marauders are as emotionless as Sirius was (or at least tried to be) when we reassemble as we'd been before, a clump of girls awaiting our fate from four teenage boys. While we were gone, they stuck all the pictures around the room so we can see them collectively. James is standing in front of us holding a piece of paper that presumably has a list of our names on it. He clears his throat.

"I'm going to call the girls with the best pictures first and move my way down," he says, "and the first name I'm going to call is…Lucille. Congratulations."

Lucille skips forward and shakes James's open, waiting hand. "Thank you," she says. James nods and waves his hand to his right, where she's meant to wait. She stands by the wall and grins widely at the rest of us. She really likes being the best. I knew it would be too much to hope I would be first.

"The next name I'm going to call is…Alicia."

Alicia joins Lucille in the winner's circle, but without all the swagger. Eight girls left in the bunch.

"Alice."

Alice walks over. Seven left.

"Sadie."

Six to go.

"Georgiana."

Five.

"Sydney."

Four.

"Verity."

Three more girls – me, Rosaline, and Lily. My heart's beating a little too fast for my liking, but Rosaline looks like hers might jump out of her mouth and do a jig on the ground. Lily's calm, cool, and collected, as ever. I bite my lip and wait for James to finish enjoying the tense silence.

"On with it, Prongs," prods Sirius.

"Sorry, sorry." James chuckles. Easy for him to do, he's not the one about to possibly lose out of this competition. He rearranges his face to be serious again.

"Hannah," he says.

I almost pass out with the anticipation gone. Allowing my legs to go automatically, I give his hand a trembling shake and stand next to Lucille, who is watching Lily and Rosaline intensely. They're polar opposites, the two of them – Rosaline looks like she might faint and Lily looks like she might paint her nails after she's done here.

James surveys them with serious eyes. "Rosaline and Lily, will you please step forward?"

Rosaline struggles to move properly, but Lily strides up with her usual confidence. She couldn't care less what's about to happen. That makes Rosaline look particularly fragile in front of those boys.

"You guys are here for very different reasons," says James. "Lily, you're here because…well…you didn't do the shoot. That's not good."

Lily coughs and it sounds oddly like, "No shit, Sherlock." But I can't be sure.

"Rosaline," he continues as if he didn't hear her, "you're here because you failed to find the balance between being sexy and being, well, slutty. Lily, you're here because of your blatant disregard for our rules. It's our competition and you're in it – hence, you do what everyone else is doing."

Rosaline trembles and Lily stays perfectly stock-still. James stares them down, allowing the tension to spiral. I can't help thinking that the suspense is killing _me_, and I'm not even on the chopping block.

Finally, James says:

"Lily, you're staying. I'm sorry, Rosaline, but you've just been eliminated."

The reaction to this near me is positive, because petulant as Lily is, she's much better than Rosaline. The reaction in the other three Marauders is suppressed smiles – they know James probably had a lot to do with keeping Lily. Rosaline actually falls to the ground, covering her face in her hands, and Lily has the nerve to look disgusted.

"You idiotic prat, what did you just do?" she demands. "I don't want to be here, but Rosaline does and she's leaving! What are you playing at?"

"Rebellion is a good thing," says James simply. "We like that you stood up for what you believed in and refused to let up. It was refreshing. We're willing to give you another shot at this because personality matters here and you've got plenty of it."

Lily purses her lips and narrows her eyes – her signature death glare. She can melt steel with that look if she wants to, but James is unfazed. His decision has been made and he gives Rosaline a hug before banishing her from the competition. Rosaline cries on her way over to us – Lucille and I hug her first and then the rest of the girls meander their way in, hugging her because they feel vaguely sorry for her. She sniffs and waves on her way out. Lucille waves back. Shyly, I do too.

Now, there are only nine of us left in the little unused classroom with the Marauders. James beams at us as though he didn't just boot a girl out of here.

"Hey, congratulations, ladies!" he says. "You're still in! Well done. We'll see you tomorrow for your next challenge – after dinner, right outside the Room of Requirement. Make sure you girls get a good night's sleep. Have a great afternoon!"

He smiles in a way that means we are dismissed. Meekly, I lead the way out the door – I'm surprised people follow me. However, one girls doesn't: Lily Evans lingers behind with James instead of coming outside with us. I don't notice it personally, but Alicia notices and immediately stops at the door to listen in and provide a transcript for us.

Gossip. Goodness, is that all these girls care about?

"Wait, wait, I hear her," says Alicia, stuffing her cheek against the ground so she can hear better. "Shut up!"

She pauses a few seconds, trying to make sense of the murky voices speaking inside, and whispers, "Lily just asked him why the fuck he kept her and it's so unreasonable."

"She _would _do that – she's such a drama queen." Lucille rolls her eyes and doesn't see the looks she's getting from Sydney and Georgiana.

"Wait…James is saying it's because he would want a date with her, not Rosaline," says Alicia. "Aww, he's so cute!"

"What else are they saying?" hisses Sydney.

"Erm, it's quiet…no, no, now Lily says that he's a moron and she _will _get out of this competition," reports Alicia.

"Better for us, I suppose," reasons Lucille.

"Shut up," Georgiana snaps.

Lucille pouts, but Alicia cuts this off by saying, "Now James says she ought to be a little more grateful. She's not taking it well. She's started shouting at him again – something about how she didn't want to be here in the first place and it's not fair he won't let her leave."

"I don't know why she does this," says Sadie with a sigh. "I wish she wouldn't."

"Me too," agrees Alicia. "Hang on though…it's quiet again. Now James says it's up to her and he can only wish she'd play along. See you tomorrow. And…damn it, move, girls, she's coming!"

Alicia springs up from the floor as if it's on fire and we hastily shuffle away from the door. Sure enough, Lily emerges from the door looking moody, very annoyed. This can't be good. Alice is troubled and approaches Lily, because she's the only one who can do that without getting murdered on the spot.

"Lils, what's going on?" she asks. Her voice is a little too high to be natural.

"Nothing," murmurs Lily. "Nothing at all. C'mon. I have a mountain of Charms homework that, unfortunately, cannot finish itself."

She takes Alice's hand and storms down the corridor, Alice bumping along and trying to wring some details out of her friend. The rest of us girls look at each other with uncertainty and glide away as well, the events of today washing over us, thoughts and judgments and anticipation forming even now for the days ahead. I walk alone to the Ravenclaw common room where Emmy is waiting for me. She jumps up at the sight of me.

"Hey Hannah, how'd it go?" she asks at once.

"I…don't know," I admit.

"Did you get out or not?"

"No, I'm still in," I say.

Then I sit her down and tell her everything.

--

A/N: I would have **loved to write the Marauder deliberation**, but the chapters are **long enough** as it is without them. You'll have to **deal** with it. Hope you **enjoyed** it and I'll update again **ASAP**. Until then, you are obligated to **review**. Go on, **review**.

Cheers.  
X


	6. Getting to Know You

A/N: I'm **so excited **that you guys like this story! It's very **motivating**! **Thanks very much** for your support and **please **continue to **review**, because your comments keep me going. They let me know what I'm doing **well **or **not so well**. That's important. So keep up with that – it's not hard, just **a few words** will do – and we'll all be very **happy**!

Sorry for the **length** though. **Too long**, I know, I know. But it was **important **with all the stuff going on this chapter.

And let me tell you right now, this chapter was a **hoot** for me to write. So when I say **enjoy**, I say it with a **very** **sarcastic grin **on my face.

**Enjoy**.

Xx

--

**Lucille Jansen**

--

After we walk out of the judging room, I really can't stop thinking about it. Or freaking about it. Or generally replaying the images over and over in the privacy of my own head.

The Marauders like _me_ best! Merlin, it's so _exciting_!

They picked me first. They fawned over my picture. They chose me over Alicia, who was flirting with James like she was going to die tomorrow; they even chose me over Lily Evans, _Lily Evans_, and that's a serious compliment.

Never mind that she didn't do the challenge. I still beat her. That's what the most important thing here is.

It's going to sound very clichéd when I admit this, but to be quite honest, there has been precious little I kick arse on. I'm not particularly clever, funny, or athletic. I'm pretty, but until now, that hasn't been a big deal. It's enormously fun to have the Marauders tell me I'm better than the rest of the girls they chose to compete here. I really hope I get to hear that more often.

In the corridor, there is some hesitation as we decide whether we want to relax in the Room of Requirement or go back to our common rooms. Hannah chooses to go to her common room and Verity goes with her, since they're both Ravenclaws, so that's the cue for us to look around for any other bail-outs. There aren't any – hence, we all troop over to the Room of Requirement, settling in on our beds.

I notice right as we get in that Rosaline's things are already gone – the Room must have taken care of them for her.

I lie back on the bed that was Rosaline's before and snuggle in appreciatively, even though it's still the afternoon. "It's kind of nice having more space in here," I remark. "I get a bed now."

"Hey, that isn't very nice," Georgiana shoots back at me, anger in her voice. "Rosaline was upset about leaving – or didn't you see her crying in there?"

I can only stare at Georgiana. I don't know what her problem is – in fact, it's the same for a couple of girls in here, because they blow up at me all of a sudden without a reason why. It's unfair – what have I ever done to offend them? I can't help but give Georgiana a disdainful wrinkle of my nose.

"Look, Georgiana, I'm not sure what's going on with you and me, but I haven't done anything to you," I say. "There's no need for you to pick fights with me."

"I don't pick fights with you – I call you out on your carelessness, something you seem to possess in excess," says Georgiana rather nastily. "It's insensitive! Rosaline is your friend, isn't she?"

"Yes, but I wasn't trying to slight her," I say.

"But you did," insists Georgiana. "It's rude. That's all I'm saying."

I open my mouth to defend myself – I have a right to, that wasn't very fair of Georgiana – but I'm cut off by Sydney, who snaps at us both, "Oi, shut up over there. There's no need to argue."

Georgiana doesn't say anything else – she contents herself with giving me a filthy look and picking up her Potions textbook. I don't like that she thinks she can get away with this; it's rude and frankly unnecessary. I have a feeling she's just jealous because the Marauders thought I was fabulous and she was mediocre. I decide I can't let this go, because if I do, she will continue picking on me and that wouldn't do, not at all.

I clear my throat and announce, "Georgiana, you're a bitch. Stop glaring at me like that."

Georgiana is astonished at this, and so are several other girls who lift their heads up to get a good look at us two, curious. However, Georgiana's curio is quickly replaced with outrage.

"How dare you?" she demands. "Take that back!"

"Don't act like one and I will gladly do so," I say coldly.

"Hey, hey, cool it," Sydney tries again.

"She called me a bitch!"

"You were glaring at her," Alicia inserts. "I saw you."

"That's because she was being rude about Rosaline," Georgiana says.

"Shut up, the whole lot of you," Lily snaps irritably from her corner, snottier than any of us were. "This is ridiculous and completely unnecessary. Georgiana, she's right, you're being a bitch right now; and Lucille, don't be quite so careless when you talk about people who aren't here. Happy?"

"No," Georgiana retorts. "This is between us two; I don't see why you, Sydney, and Alicia are suddenly involved."

Lily rolls her eyes. "Because it's annoying to have you guys fighting over something silly. People have things to do – keep it quiet."

"If they need quiet, they can go to their common rooms," says Georgiana, acting all stubborn-like and undignified.

"You know as well as I do the common rooms are impossibly loud," responds Lily. "Stop sulking."

"Well, that's mighty rich of you, considering how much _you _sulk," points out Georgiana.

Lily's eyes narrow. "I'm just saying, stop fighting," she says curtly. "It's stupid."

Georgiana is dying to say something more to Lily, but she doesn't – she simply purses her enormous lips and goes back to her textbook without another word. Lily, sensing that the drama has simmered down now, goes back to what she was doing as well and leans over to whisper something to Alice.

Knowing Lily, it's probably something about me and Georgiana. People always like to say that she's cute, quirky, funny, charming and whatever else; but honestly, she's one of the most affected, artificial, ill-tempered people I've ever met. And she adds new meaning to the word catty. She might be nice enough if she likes you, but poor James Potter is living proof of what Lily's bitchy side can do. Sure he's annoying, but he's cute, and doesn't deserve the lashing Lily so eagerly gives him.

Watching her now, sitting there and whispering secrets to that lovely girl Alice, I wonder how she has any friends at all.

Still, because I know I'm better than that, I don't say anything to her. I go back to my own stuff, nice and quiet. Everything's nice and quiet by this point, and it remains so for the remainder of the evening. When conversation starts up, it's normal, healthy, private, girl-to-girl discussions. Very cool. Very polite. Very boring, to be frank.

These girls make sticks look interesting. Personality-wise, I am going to whoop them in tomorrow's challenge. I can just feel it.

**&**

Classes rarely concern me – I'm a Ravenclaw for a reason, despite what people say about me socially – and I pay even less attention than usual today in anticipation for the next Marauder challenge today. We have gotten no details about what it's going to be, but I hope it's another picture. I wish I could have kept my gorgeous one from yesterday, but I overheard Sadie telling Georgiana that the Marauders get to keep all the pictures and we don't. Ah well. I'll find out tonight.

It's a miracle I get through all of dinner without having a heart attack from the anticipation I'm feeling. I just…I want to get it done. I want to show them what I've got. The other girls don't concern me – I _am_ the best one here and we all know it. The Marauders love me and I am going to get that date with Padfoot if it's the last thing I do.

Some people would call such thinking arrogant. But me, I think that it's only arrogant if there's a possibility that the theory is wrong – which, in this case, it isn't. James called me first and he said order mattered. What can I do about it?

We gather by the Room of Requirement as usual. I get there first, also as usual. As a side note, I think that's another reason why I'm the best – I do what they want me to do and I do it the best. I don't mess around, waste time, play games. I'm there, waiting for _them _instead of the other way around, and the other girls trail on after me. I'm serious about this – which is an edge up for me, because there are too many girls who are belatedly realizing that this could mean something.

I sit down against the wall, my head resting against the cold stone as I survey the ceiling, and my thoughts are wandering when I hear footsteps coming down the adjacent corridor. Out of curiosity, I glance around the corner to see who it is and to my great astonishment, it's Sirius. He catches my eye and grins, coming over to me and flopping down to sit beside me.

I can't help but smile – this is such a nice surprise.

"Hey," I say. "Where are the rest of the Marauders and the girls?"

"Dunno about the girls, but the guys are finishing up their Transfiguration homework with Moony," says Sirius. "I was on top of things – I already got his answers during Charms – so I figured I'd come here and bond with whichever early girl I got. Which, for now, is you."

"That's nice," I say as coolly as I can, despite the fact that my heart is beating madly. "Yeah, I don't understand Transfiguration either." Even though I do.

"Oh, I understand it," Sirius assures me. "I just don't feel like proving it to Professor McGonagall, you know? I shouldn't have to waste my time doing things I already know all about."

Damn. "Yeah, me too," I say.

Sirius shrugs and rests his head against the wall as well, drumming his hands on his knees, perfectly content, his eyes a million miles away while I'm right here. He's prone to doing things like this, Sirius – he'll talk, smile, laugh, do whatever, and then in an instant he's gone somewhere else, leaving you wondering how he sees the world.

Still, I decide I need him back with me – so I clear my throat and ask, "So…what's tonight's challenge?"

My tactic works – Sirius snaps right out of it and gives me a horrified look.

"Lucy, Lucy, silly Lucy," he says, shaking his head. "I can't _tell _you what you're doing – it wouldn't be fair! You'll find out soon enough."

"You sure you can't give me a _little _hint?"

Sirius laughs out loud. "Well…maybe a _little _hint," he allows, black eyes twinkling with mischief. "Erm…you're going to be doing a lot of talking today. That's all I can say without spoiling everything."

"So it's not a picture?" I can feel my face falling a little.

"No, it's not a picture," Sirius confirms. "But don't worry – our next challenge will be one of my personal favorites and it's a picture."

"That's good," I say.

"Yeah. We like to see you in all sorts of ways because we want to get to know you girls – one of us will be going out with one of you, it's only fair," says Sirius.

"You're right." I smile. "This is actually a lot of fun."

"I know, right?" Sirius's grin is wide and naughty. "Imagine – this all started because we were bored and James had an idea!"

I laugh and he laughs too and we're definitely having a Moment together – it's the most amazing thing, and I love it so much, but it's short-lived. Unfortunately for us, we are interrupted quite rudely by the appearance of Sadie and Alicia, who are cracking up hysterically at something or another.

Eurgh. How annoying.

"I can't believe he said that!" Sadie chokes, tears brimming and falling down her cheeks.

"I know!" Alicia agrees in a similar choke, doubling up.

"No, idiot, I expect fish sticks…Merlin's beard!" Sadie collapses to the floor, continuing her winded laugh. "No way!"

"Hey, were you telling her about Marcus and Eileen?" Sirius asks Alicia at once. When she nods weakly, Sirius begins to roar with laughter as well, joining them in rolling around on the floor, cracking up.

"Merlin!" Sirius cries. "Fish sticks! _Fish sticks_! I couldn't get over that!"

"Right?!"

Now the three of them continue going into their peals of laughter, tears down their cheeks and the whole shebang, and I feel pretty out of it. I know Marcus and Eileen – they're in my house – but I don't know what this fish stick story is all about. Should I know?

Eventually, the other girls turn up – namely Hannah (looking nervous), Lily (looking pissy), Alice (looking wary), Georgiana (looking gruff), Sydney (looking interested), and Verity (looking lost) – and they begin making conversation. Georgiana doesn't pay me any attention, preferring to talk to Sydney, so I talk to Verity. It's not easy, mind, because Verity doesn't talk much, but I manage to make do with her until the rest of the Marauders turn up. This time, Remus has joined in the challenge. Sirius gets up from beside Alicia – she manages to get all of them wrapped around her finger somehow and I'll never know how she does that – and stands with his friends.

"All right, girls, good evening!" Peter greets us cheerfully. "We've got another challenge for you today!"

Insert group whooping here. I don't join in, though, because I'm too classy and mature for that.

"Today's challenge isn't a picture though," says Sirius. "Instead, you're going to be doing an interview with us – just as a get-to-know-you-better challenge."

"We've seen your belly-buttons – now we want to see _you_," adds James, grinning.

Instinctively, I beam and turn my head so I can share an excited look with Hannah. Hannah looks like she might pass out and die, but me, I couldn't be happier if I tried. An interview! This is perfect. I'm a wonderful talker, everyone has always said so, and I get my chance at showing the Marauders what a fabulous date I'd be. It's like practice! Merlin, they're so clever with these challenges – they know exactly what they're doing and now I get to prove that I'm ready to meet them halfway.

"Each of you will talk to each of us for a minute," explains James. "We're wearing watches, so we'll keep time. We have a standard question to start with (we all have a different one) and the rest will depend squarely on you – you need to _make _us want to talk to you."

"We know you're hot – let's see if you're interesting too. I can't _wait _to talk to you." Sirius winks.

Remus, irked, gives Sirius a small smack on his arm and says, "It's like a conversation with a friend. Carry it on, make a few jokes, take off your shirt when you're with Sirius…it shouldn't be difficult or intimidating."

Sirius makes a bitter face at Remus, but Remus either fails to or doesn't want to notice. Peter and James exchange looks and then James says, "Right then…so we're going to be doing this in the same unused classroom we did the photo-shoot in. Four tables with four of us. Form a line and move down when the minute is up; and when you're done, you can either stay inside or wait outside. Your choice. We clear?"

Nine heads (including mine) nod and the boys grin, leading us up to the aforementioned classroom. I walk with Hannah. I try to get her to tell me what she thinks of this latest challenge, but she doesn't. She just walks with me, tucking her thin blonde hair behind her ear, and deflects every attempt I make at conversation. It's like she only wants my _company_, nothing else. It's odd – and certainly not fair. Anyone who's ever been in my company knows I like to talk.

Still, I let her slide and get in line with the other girls the moment the Marauders are seated at their little tables. Like the last time, all the desks are pushed aside except the four the Marauders have claimed – except this time, they have a desk in between each "station" with books stacked a good ways up. I think this is for a little privacy. What a marvelous thought!

As it turns out, Sydney is the first in line and she has to talk to Peter first. She perches her ample arse on the chair and begins to do her interview. Since she's the first, we're all listening in to figure out where the standard is, and to be honest, she isn't setting the bar too high. Peter asks her what I presume is his standard question – do you like fish sticks? – and the conversation goes on from there.

Sydney talks about her favorite foods and some strange instances she's had at lunch with her friends. It's horribly boring – I feel awfully bad for Peter, who smiles along and nods politely. The minute is finished not a second too soon and Sydney moves on to bore Remus. Georgiana sits down with Peter now. Remus and Peter start the girls at the same time and the conversations go on.

Georgiana talks all right, I must admit, but she's very belligerent. Poor Peter barely finishes the question and she's already off, telling him some long-winded tale or another. She talks and talks and talks and Peter laughs a few times, which is a good sign, I suppose. Still, I don't think she's the strongest contender we've got. I can't wait until it's my turn.

After Sydney moves down to Sirius, Georgiana moves to Remus, and Verity sits down with Peter, I have lost interest in this challenge. The girls are obviously all horrible dates – some of them have boyfriends and I honestly don't know how they keep their relationships alive. They are difficult to listen to, mostly because they have no sense of what the other person really wants to hear. I just…wow. I am appalled at the lack of charisma. It's going to be hard for those boys to pick which girl was the _worst_ by these performances. I wish them luck at judging.

Once Verity moves down, Alicia goes (she's probably the only one who has a real chance here besides me, and that only because she is on a perpetual sugar-high) and then I get to sit down with Peter. The four Marauders start us at the same time and I am left with Peter, smiling courteously in front of me, and asking me if I like fish sticks.

"No, I do not like fish sticks, actually," I say quite diplomatically. "I can't stand anything that has to do with seafood."

"Really?" asks Peter.

"Yes," I say. "I went snorkeling once on holiday with my parents and watching all the ocean life in the water makes you realize how much you _don't _want to eat them."

"You were snorkeling?"

"I did," I say. "It was a lot of fun, but it's difficult – my mask wasn't adjusted properly and I ended up with a face-full of water."

"That's interesting," says Peter.

The conversation continues on from there; I tell him about snorkeling and a little about technique. I even demonstrated how to put the mask on for him and he seemed to be interested. Of course he is – snorkeling is a good, solid activity for him to know about. And it helps that I told it so well; I think if he was ever to go snorkeling, he would barely need any instruction, because I taught him so nicely.

The minute passes almost too quickly for me and I have to move to the next table with Remus. I wave good-bye to Peter and I think he's very sad to see me go, because the next girl is Hannah. Hannah is very nice, but she's boring as hell and I don't think she's the right choice for this competition. I wish them well.

Talking to Remus is even more fun than talking to Peter because now I've gotten into the swing of things. Remus's standard question is how I feel about this competition – definitely a very standard question.

"I think it's fun," I tell him honestly. "I mean, you guys know your own reasons for initiating it, but I'm glad you did. It's more fun to think about than homework, that's for sure."

"James and Sirius wanted it – I played along because they swore they would let up on copying my homework," says Remus. "As expected, that didn't work out too well – they were copying it just before this challenge – but I uphold my promises."

"That's good," I say. "I mean, I know you're not crazy about this whole thing, but it's good that you're playing along anyway. It wouldn't have been any fun at all if only three of the Marauders hosted the competition."

"If you say so…"

"I do," I assure him. "I mean, you're twenty-five percent of the Marauders. It wouldn't be right without you!"

With this, I actually get Remus to smile.

"Well, I suppose that's true," he says.

"It _is _true," I say as demurely and earnestly as I can, making my eyes all big and wide.

"Ah, well." I can tell Remus doesn't go for the over-flattery – he's smiling to be gracious, it's not a convincing smile – but I still grin at him and search my head for another lead. Merlin, Remus can't carry conversation to save his life…

I manage to change the subject to something else (somehow) and my minute manages to pass. My only thought: Remus will _not _be my choice when I win this competition. He and I just can't connect. There's no chemistry. I leave him in the hands of Hannah and go on to the next table.

To my delight, it's Sirius here. Excellent – he will be the easiest to talk to.

The boys start their watches and Sirius smiles genuinely at me, mischievous and sexy and completely breath-taking.

"So, Lucy, we meet again," he says.

Have I ever mentioned he's the only one in the world allowed to call me Lucy?

"Yes, we do," I say.

He leans in close to me. "I know we're supposed to have a standard question, but honestly, I think that's stupid and I'm just going to talk to you the way I want. Is that all right?"

"Certainly," I say, my heart fluttering with excitement.

"Cool." Sirius is so achingly gorgeous as he grins lazily at me – either he's damn lucky or he's got really, _really _beautiful parents. I wish I could meet his parents, his creators…

"So," he says, bringing me out of my train of thought, "I told you you'd be talking today."

"You did," I confirm. "Mighty interesting idea, interviewing us. I feel like I'm trying to book a job or something!"

"In a way, you kind of are," says Sirius. "You're trying to convince us you'd be a good date for us. Better than any of the other girls."

"Is it working?" I can't help but ask, my grin sly.

Sirius returns my grin and we are caught staring at each other, having yet _another _Moment together (Merlin's beard, we really do belong together!!) when we are rudely interrupted – _again _– by raucous laughter from the table next to us.

Predictably, it's James's table, where Alicia is sitting; the two of them have exploded into very loud giggles and the rest of us are confused, not to mention intimidated by how well they get along. Alicia has quickly risen through the ranks and in the duration of a challenge and a half has become James's darling – even more so than Lily, which is the oddest thing of all.

And right now, when she's laughing like her lungs imploded through her mouth, I want to kill her for it.

Sirius, on his part, goes very slightly pink in the cheeks and says, "Sorry about that. I wish I could have sound-proofed these tables, but I figured it wouldn't be necessary. Apparently it was."

"They really like each other," I muse.

"They do," says Sirius. Then he looks guilty all of a sudden. "Hey Lucy, can I trust you with a bit of gossip?"

"Of course," I say immediately. "You can trust me with _anything_, Sirius."

"Okay," says Sirius with an air of someone who wants desperately to get something off his chest. "Well, really, Alicia being here was all James. When we were picking girls for this competition, we each got to pick two on our own and agree on the last two. James picked Lily for obvious reasons and Alicia because…well…"

"Why?" I prod.

Sirius shifts uncomfortably. "I think it's mostly because of Lily," he admits. "I mean, she's made it more than obvious to everybody that she doesn't fancy him in the least, so he's looking for someone else to replace her – someone cute, charming, funny, the same traits he sees in Lily."

Personally, I don't see how Lily is cute, charming or funny, but I nod along anyway because this is terribly interesting.

"Alicia's definitely cute, charming, and funny," says Sirius, "so James thinks that if he flirts along with her, throws himself into the challenge of winning her over, it'll get him over Lily."

"Do you think the tactic is working?"

Sirius considers. "Kind of," he says, "but he knows as well as I do that Alicia is no Lily. Part of the reason he always liked Lily was that she was moody, different every second, made him work harder at being a better person. Alicia lets him coast. Maybe that's what he needs right now; maybe not. All I know is…"

However, what Sirius knows I never will, because it's time for us to move tables. My minute is over. I have to go talk to James now. I smile apologetically at Sirius and say, "Your secret's safe with me."

Sirius beams. "Thanks!" he says.

I can't resist winking at him just once as Hannah seats herself across from Sirius and I seat myself across from James. My face feels warm, everything feels sweet. I love this challenge – and I love these boys. I knew Sirius was a great choice for me.

"Hey James," I say as I rest my cheek in the palm of my hand, surveying his messy hair, bright hazel eyes, interested expression. "How goes it?"

James takes a moment to start timing at the same time as his friends, then turns his attention back to me, the same polite interest in his face that I saw in Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Have they planned this or something?

"Hey Lucille," he says. "I'm all good. Thanks for stealing my standard question, by the way."

"That was your question? How are you?" I arch my eyebrow up.

"Yeah." James chuckles. "I decided to keep it simple. You can talk and I can ask questions and the interview can go smoother. You know?"

"I do," I say. "So…I'm fine, thank you so much for asking."

"Really?" James's smile is really cute, I notice, as he flashes it at me. It's not as drop-dead-gorgeous as Sirius's – he's got the face of a Greek God, I'm not even exaggerating – but James is still adorable, in the cute-little-kid-with-hair-he-can't-keep-under-control kind of way. He makes me giggle way more than I want to, while Sirius takes my breath away more than I want to.

I giggle now and say, "Yeah. I'm having a lot of fun with this whole thing. I like getting to know you guys better."

"I know what you mean," says James.

"I mean, it's so annoying having to think about school and work and drama all the time," I say. "It gets to be too much. This is nice because it's a game with a great prize at the end – a prize I'm going to win, I'm sure."

"You think you're going to win?" This amuses James more than it should, I think, but I don't say it.

"Of course I think I'm going to win," I say. "Every girl here thinks she's going to win, that's what she's aiming for. I'm the only one with the guts to actually say it out loud."

James mulls this over. "It makes sense," he admits.

"Exactly," I say. "People make this big hairy deal about me being 'arrogant,' but I'm not. I'm vocal. There's a difference."

"True."

"If I don't believe in me, no one will," I say. "That's why I have to keep my morale up, keep thinking positively. I won't get this if I don't."

"That's also true," says James. I think he's been put under instructions to let me do all the talking, but it doesn't matter to me, because I'm working up a rant here and I think it's important for James to know how I feel. It'll help him get to know me – and like me and eventually let me win my date with Sirius.

"This is the most fun I've had here in a long time," I say, "and I want to win. I want to show up those other girls. They want to do the same thing, though, and that's what makes this competition tough – you have to wade through all the negativity they pour on you with positivism of your own. If you don't, then you'll lose your cool and you'll lose the game. People forget that when they're up on their high horses, pretending to be dignified when they're really not."

"Of course," says James simply.

I go on this tangent for the rest of my minute, and by the time I'm done, I'm empowered. I've given myself quite a pep-talk with James – his few-word answers, as limp as they were, helped get me riled up and emotional. I said all kinds of things there and I think it was a good thing he heard them. Now he can tell the rest of the Marauders when they deliberate and it'll be even better for me. A little vulnerability can go a long way.

Now that I'm done with the last Marauder, Hannah takes her place with James and I join Sydney, Georgiana, Verity, and Alicia on the floor to wait for the rest of the girls to finish. As ever, Sydney, Georgiana, and Alicia are talking while Verity sits quietly and hums to herself.

Because Georgiana is a bitch, I sit with Verity. I yearn to talk to her, tell her about how wonderfully I did with James and Sirius in the challenge, but I want to listen to the rest of the conversations. It's only Hannah, Sadie, Alice, and Lily left now. Lily's the one I care most about because she's my biggest competition, thanks to James. She's sitting with Peter and from the look on Peter's face, I don't think the conversation is going very well. I can only imagine the glares poor Peter is getting from that red-haired snot right now.

The minute passes slowly, ticking by, and then Hannah gets to join in the finished circle. She sits by me but as usual, she doesn't say anything. She looks moody, pensive – I wonder what she and James talked about. I wish I could have eight more ears so I could listen in on all the conversations. Still, I'll make do with Lily.

Now she's sitting with Remus. Remus's face looks much calmer than Peter's did during Lily's conversation. She seems to have calmed down now, talking more rationally, and Remus actually smiles a few times. Lily and Remus have always been friendly – much more so than with the other Marauders anyway – and I think they're actually having a nice, amiable conversation, if such a thing is possible with Lily Evans. They chat and laugh and Lily rumples her hair a lot. I think that's Lily's nervous habit – which means she's enjoying herself. Remus certainly is.

The minute is up and Sadie joins us in the finished circle. Lily is sitting with Sirius. Ooh, this ought to be good. Sirius and Lily are almost as volatile as James and Lily, because Sirius tends to be cruder than the other boys. Sirius has that self-satisfied smirk on his face – the one that is so bloody amazing on his face – and he begins to talk to Lily.

It's a miracle she doesn't walk away from him, because he looks like he's having a grand time and the lack of Lily's hair-rumpling tells me she isn't. Her voice raises a few times during the conversation. I wonder what he's saying to get her riled up – it's really quite easy to do that, so it can't be anything particularly special – and I can see Alicia enjoying the sight as well.

Admittedly, it's funny. Lily is the biggest novelty to this competition and everyone knows it. She's even well aware of it. Whether she likes that or not is up for grabs, but the balance is delicate and it wouldn't take much to break everything down.

Since Lily is the last girl, every single girl except her is sitting in the finished circle when she gets to James. I don't know if she planned this or not, but everyone's watching. Me and Alicia even move to get a better look at both of them. Even the other Marauders have peered over, trying to get a view, of the infamous Lily/James duo duking it out for the duration of one minute. To their credit, though, they ignore us and James starts timing, looking Lily right in the eye as he asks her, "So…how are you?"

"How do you think I am?" Lily responds challengingly, her voice affected and haughty as ever. When she talks like this, it becomes obvious she has a lot of nerve calling the Marauders arrogant.

"I think you're not feeling wonderful, but I figured I'd ask anyway, out of politeness," says James. "Plus, it's my standard question. I'm supposed to ask it."

"Since when have standards ever appealed to you?" Lily's bright eyes narrow as she stares him down.

"Other people's standards don't mean the world to me," he says, "but my own do. You know that."

"Do I?"

"Somewhere in you, you do."

This conversation is so intensely _interesting_ – two very intelligent people squaring off across a table for a whole minute. Neither of them is going to let up and the tension is pretty much tangible, even from here. Sirius looks quite excited from the next table.

It's quiet for a moment…then James asks, "Why do you give us such a hard time about being here? It can't pain you _that_ much, you know."

"Oh, it wouldn't?" Lily's tone is sharp with antagonism. "You have _absolutely no idea_, Potter, how much I hate being here."

"Call me James," he says calmly, unfazed.

"All right, _James_ –" she sneers his name "—you have absolutely no idea how much I hate being here."

"Why?" His question is simple, only a word, but Lily looks more than ready to fight it down to the death.

"Because it's silly!" she insists. "It's ridiculous, unnecessary, shallow, not to mention invasive. You are dragging me out to do your bidding every night and judging me like I'm a slab of meat. I don't like that. I don't want to be judged, especially not by you. I am not your sex toy, nor am I your dream girl. Pretending as such and ordering me around on that basis is simply unacceptable."

"It's _fun_," James counters, drawing out the word so that he knows she's given it thought. "A lot of the things we do for fun are ridiculous, unnecessary, and shallow. Invasiveness is exclusive and deeply regrettable, but the rest of it, that's just normal. Sometimes, I wonder if you even know what fun is."

Ouch. That one had to hurt. Lily certainly looks stung.

"I do know what it is and it isn't this," she says. "I don't like this competition. I don't want to participate. How do you think you're going to make me?"

"By asking nicely," says James. "By hoping you will see this for what it is and play along. Maybe not willingly, maybe not earnestly, but doing it all the same, like how you are today."

"_I don't want to be here_," Lily says, drawing this phrase out like James drew out the word 'fun.' "Why is this so difficult for you to comprehend? Are you really that thick?"

"Look," James says, now completely in business. "Lily, I like you. You know that. And because I like you, I've got you playing this little game of mine. Everyone here is having a great time except for you and you know why that is? It's because you insist on being a drama queen, moaning and groaning over something that doesn't deserve your almighty scrutiny. All right, maybe the first photo-shoot pushed it a little, I'll give you that much – but so what? It's just us. Just you."

Lily is silent, for once. Her expression has not changed, but we all know she's listening. For once.

"You can complain until the skies fall, Lily, that you don't want to be here," he goes on, "but you're going to be here. You like it here. You like the attention and you like the company of the girls. Whether it's by Alice or your own secret pleasure in playing along, you'll come back every challenge and do it, so I suggest you cut the bad attitude and give this an honest shot. You've got the opportunity – now do something out of the ordinary. Take the chance. If you leave here without giving it your all, I know you're going to regret. After six years, I think I know you well enough."

Lily is still silent. A miracle. Alicia is whispering around that it's actually been three minutes now that they've been talking, but no one's going to point it out to Lily and James. The two of us continue to watch them staring at each other, flickers of emotion going off in both their eyes, and it's so quiet in here that you can hear people breathing. The tension is amazingly present, like a crushing weight.

But, eventually, it subsides and Lily leans back in her chair, looking moody. James has not moved an inch, but when she catches his eye again, he says, "We're done. You can go now."

Lily doesn't say anything. She takes him in for another moment, his hard expression without a hint of the usual humor, and then she gets up, pushes the chair in, and joins us. She sits next to Alice. James runs a hand through his hair, well aware of the fact that he's been watched mercilessly, and he looks to his Marauders.

"I think we're about done here, wouldn't you say?" he asks them.

"Yeah, yeah, we're all good," Sirius agrees. "Right, Pete? Remus?"

"Yup," the two of them chorus back in unison. The boys get up from their chairs and then James says, "Thanks for participating in the challenge today." His eyes linger on Lily as he says it, but only for an extra second or two. "You girls did really well. We'll tell you how so during judging tomorrow. See you later."

We're dismissed now. Stretching, we all stand up and begin making our way towards the door, talking in low voices because the only thing worth talking about Lily's performance and she's bringing up the rear with Alice, talking in a low voice of her own. We don't want to ignite her famous temper, so the language is censored and everything. I listen eagerly, even if they aren't exactly talking to me.

Alicia thinks that this is going to be a bit of a pivot point for Lily – that she'll finally buckle down and stop behaving like a spoiled child after that conversation. She thinks James is too cute for Lily to resist – she's never been able to, and now more than ever, that will make a difference. Her theory goes unchallenged. But me, I don't agree.

I don't think Lily will change. People like her never do. She will kick and scream and fight and act like a spoiled child anyway, even after that, because she's stubborn and it will take more than a cute boy to convince her otherwise. It's like telling yourself you can tame a waterfall or stop the sky from raining: it's hopeless.

I have no faith in Lily. I don't know what the rest of these girls – and James – see in her that gives them so much hope for her in the future.

Lily is a bitch, plain and easy; and bitches will stay bitches no matter who tries to convince themselves otherwise.

--

A/N: Coming up next chapter…

An **opinion**.  
A _fight_.  
A shift.  
A _girl in tears_.  
An **elimination**.

Here's to you reviewing and me finishing on time. Cheers!


	7. And Then There Were 8

A/N: Aww, you guys are **awesome**. **Thanks **for all your reviews. I **do** appreciate them quite a lot. Truly, you have **no idea**.

I don't like this chapter **as much**, but it's still **pretty fun **because there's an **elimination** and a **cat-fight** (minor, but enjoyable for me as a writer) – so **read on and critique away**!

Also – **official **chapter count for this story: **22  
**I've just **finished** up my **outline** and there's some **seriously fun stuff **coming up in the later chapters. I hope I **finish **this story so I can get to all of it!

**Enjoy**.  
Xx

--

**Georgiana Welsh**

--

After the challenge, it's late so all us girls decide to go back to the Room of Requirement to hang out and chat before going to sleep. Unfortunately for me, at least, Lucille comes along. I really, really hate that girl – she's exactly the kind of girl who bothers me beyond all comprehension, because she's so fluffy and air-headed and arrogant and stupid. Fathoming her mind ought to be a scientific expedition.

Still, I do my best to ignore her and talk to Sydney, who is my closest friend here. Sydney, however, is frequently reigned in by the conversation Alicia conducts and I am forced to join in as well. There's nothing seriously wrong with Alicia, but she can come across irksome, perpetually peppy, and that feels hollow to me. No one can be happy _all _the time.

Today, with the sensational Lily Evans (_not _a compliment) and her performance with James Potter during the challenge, all Alicia can talk about is what she calls the "changing dynamic of the competition." She insists that things are different now.

"James has _changed _her," she says. "I mean, after that kind of a conversation, something has to have given. She has to do something different."

"You're right," I agree. "I mean, she won't suddenly turn into a saint within the next few hours, but little changes…that's not so far-fetched." Or so I hope…that girl desperately needs a reality check.

"Lily may be stubborn, but she's not stupid," says Sadie. "She knows when she's gone too far and…well…this is probably that point. She's going to have to play nice from now on."

I think I hear Lucille mutter something about idealism under her breath, but I satisfy myself with an unseen glare in her direction. She doesn't exactly hide the fact that she doesn't like Lily Evans and I don't think that's quite fair, because even though she has her flaws, Lily isn't a bad person. Lucille simply hates thinking well of people, since she believes herself to be above all in the general social food chain.

"She's a nice girl when she wants to be," says Sydney, echoing my thoughts like she can read my mind or something. "We ought to give her a chance on this one. There has to be _some _reason James likes her so much."

There are nods and grunts of approval for this statement, because Sydney is the most reasonable out of all of us and knows what she's talking about. I glance back at Lucille and sure enough, she's kept her mouth shut about Lily and is instead torturing Verity with some dialogue or another. A crease has appeared between Verity's eyes – a very, very small one, but one that's definitely noticeable if you look close enough – and I can tell the poor thing is irritated. Too bad she's too polite to say anything about it.

Verity may look silly and dreamy, but she's in my house and my year and I've known her forever – she is _not _what she appears to be at first glance.

We girls bust into the Room of Requirement and flop onto our beds, content with our little room and the latest challenge. I notice that Lily retreats to her corner and Alice is torn between wanting to join us and be with Lily. I watch for a few moments to see what she'll do, and like I half-expected, her worry for her friend wins out and she joins Lily.

I see Sadie glancing at Alice with me, slightly disappointed because we like Alice and would like her company more than we would like, say, Lucille's, and I decide to take action.

"Oi, Alice," I call out.

She turns to look at me, startled, and I say, "Come over here and join us."

The girl looks like a deer caught in headlights, so I impatiently say, "Bring Lily too."

Alice shrugs. "All right, then," she says as level-headedly as she can. She cajoles Lily wordlessly to come join in – Alicia and Sadie are sitting on Alicia's bed while the rest of us lounge around on the floor. Alice sits daintily on the rug and Lily lies down on her side, resting her head in Alice's lap. Alice absently strokes Lily's hair, braiding and unbraiding it, as Alicia takes her usual role as awkward-silence-breaker.

That girl is the social equivalent of a blunt ax – all about the drama and the dramatics without actually getting anything done.

"So, now that one of us is already gone, I want to know something," says Alicia in a meant-to-be-impressive whisper. "Since one of the girls in this room is going to win this whole competition…who would you date if it ends up being you?"

I have to hand it to her; this is a good question to ask in order to get everyone talking. After all, this competition and what it entails is really the only thing every one of us has in common.

"I want to date Sirius," announces Lucille at once. "In yesterday's challenge, he was the most fun to talk to."

Eurgh. Damn that bitch.

"I was thinking about taking Sirius out as well, if I won," I confess. "But I dunno…James is a real sweetie too."

"Yeah, I like James," says Sadie, a flaming blush in her cheeks. "He's lovely."

"Merlin, I love that kid!" Alicia chirps brightly, somehow even cheerier than she was a minute ago. "I would _definitely _go out with him, no questions asked!"

"That's hardly surprising," I remark. "You two get on very well."

"We do." Alicia's voice is serene, thrilled, little-girl-ish. "He's a great guy. Honestly."

"I'd want to go out with Remus," says Alice. "James and Sirius are a little too…flamboyant for me."

"That's half the fun, mind," says Alicia.

"Maybe for you, but not for me," Alice says firmly. "Remus is lovely – very easy to talk to, very understanding. I like him."

"But you like Frank Longbottom," Lily points out from Alice's lap. "Wouldn't dating Remus be a bit of a dampener on Operation Frank?"

"Aww, you like Frank?" Sydney is very amused, but also warmed. "He's in my house, he's absolutely adorable!"

Alice turns the color of ripe tomatoes. "Erm…"

"Sorry," says Lily.

"It's fine, it's fine…" Alice waves the whole thing away with a few murmured words, but I can tell she's still the slightest bit upset that Lily took the trouble to reveal this to the group. However, she quickly changes the subject by turning to Verity and Hannah, who are on the fringes of the conversation, and asking Verity, "So…who do you want to go out with, Verity?"

"Most likely Remus," says Verity. "Sirius has a tendency of being rather vulgar."

"A tendency? It's like his trademark," I say with a snort.

Verity smiles sweetly. "Maybe you're right," she says.

Lucille takes a quick sweep around the group and suddenly, her eyes land on Hannah beside her. I don't like the look on her face, particularly as she asks, "Hey, Hannah, who do you like in this competition?"

Immediately, Hannah goes violently red – almost as red as Alice had gone – and she whispers, "Erm…I'd rather not say."

Smelling weakness, Lucille pounces right on her and says, "Oh come on, we're all dishing it out here. You're with friends. Tell us, who d'you fancy?"

"N-No, it's fine, I don't think you need to know," says Hannah. Her ears are red enough to look infected, a total contrast to her thin blonde hair.

"I do want to know, though," says Lucille. "Who do you like? C'mon, Hannah, it can't be _that _gruesome. All the Marauders are quite fanciable."

Hannah has been blessed with massive eyes that are a lovely gray-ish blue and she uses them now to look around at us, appealing for one of us to stand up on her behalf, save her from the scrutiny. No one is, though, not even Alicia, because we're all shamefully curious. Someone as quiet as Hannah ought to talk more often anyway, so I stare at her like all the others are. Hannah looks like a kicked puppy and I almost feel bad for her. Almost.

"Very well then," she says awkwardly. She swallows and it's louder than her wispy-thin voice is. "Erm…"

"Go on," prods Lucille, boorish as usual. She's looking at Hannah like a predator stares at a helpless rabbit.

She says something in a flurry of small words, so quiet that Lucille (who is sitting right next to her, Merlin help her) has to lean in to listen.

"Wait, what's that? I couldn't hear you," says Lucille.

Hannah looks like she'd much rather cut out her right kidney. "I like Peter Pettigrew," she finally says, just a touch louder, but loud enough to somewhat hear in the quiet of the room. "There, are you through now?"

"You like Peter," repeats Lucille. "That's not the worst secret you could possibly have. Why were you so worried about telling us?"

All eyes are on Hannah again and _her _eyes are on _us_; and to our enormous surprise, they begin to brim with tears.

"N-No reason," she stutters.

"Hannah, are you crying?" This is Sydney, a concerned humanitarian. "Merlin, love, we didn't mean to get you upset!"

"I'm fine." Hannah's voice is muffled, on account of her mouth being covered by her sleeve as she wipes her eyes. "Really."

"Why are you crying?" This is Lucille. She is not a concerned humanitarian – she is a lethal one-woman gossip machine.

"It's just…just…" Hannah can't stem the flow of her tears. She curls up by the end and hugs her knees to her chest, her long blonde hair a curtain around her face.

"Just what?" I wonder if Lucille has a secret undiagnosed pathology. It would explain so much about her.

Hannah looks like she might die in the next five seconds; so finally, Sydney decides to step in and says, "Hey, hey, all right, we're done questioning here. Leave her alone."

Sydney crawls to sit next to Hannah, as if her physical presence will be enough to shield Hannah from scrutiny. Hannah, looking frightened under Lucille's continued gaze, swallows again and whispers, "It's all right, Sydney. You don't need to defend me."

Sydney is bewildered. This is a kicked puppy that needs saving! How could she be denying that?! I can see where this would startle Sydney – that girl cares too much about other people's happiness – but at the same time, I can see why Hannah would opt for the fend-for-her-own-arse choice. No one likes to be taken as a weakling, even if they are one.

"So you'll tell us why you were crying?" Merlin, does Lucille possess _no _sense of moral decency?

Before I can call her out on it, though Hannah sniffles and wipes her eyes again, this time saying, "It's really…it's really just nothing. I'm being silly. I've liked Peter for ages and…well…I just…I know he's never, ever going to like me back…and I'm being silly, I'm so sorry…"

Now she's really lost her nerve. Her eyes go back to Sydney. Her flicker of empowerment is gone and Sydney can give Hannah a hug.

"Aww, you poor dear," croons Sydney. "We're sorry we made you cry."

Lucille is indignant at this show of emotion. Of course she is, she's incapable of understanding the first thing about emotion. She says, "So are you telling me that you're crying because you think Peter Pettigrew would never like you?"

"I really think you've said enough, Lucille," says Sydney, now on the defensive where she belongs. "Bugger off."

"I just, I can't believe this!" exclaims Lucille. "Hannah, darling, you're a lovely, lovely girl and Peter Pettigrew would be a rat's arse if he didn't like you back. You need to understand that. Buck up and stop being such a baby."

"Oi, Lucille, back off." This is Alicia. She can sense an argument and obviously must interject with her show-girl comments so that she can take part in the fun. "You've gotten what you wanted out of her, now let her be."

I exchange glances with Sydney. Where was Alicia when we needed her a couple of minutes ago?

"I'm just _saying_," Lucille begins to defend herself hotly.

"And so am I," says Alicia sharply. "Leave her alone."

"I haven't done anything!" says Lucille. "I stand by my opinion – she needs to stop being such a baby. She won't get anything by being quiet and sitting on the side and thinking about the guy she likes."

I completely loathe Lucille and will never, ever change this opinion because she's unworthy of my glad tidings, but in this case, I happen to agree wholeheartedly with her opinion. Defending Hannah's baby behavior won't get her Peter. Making Hannah tell Peter how she feels will get her Peter. It's a very simple concept, but one a woeful number of girls cannot seem to fully understand. I decide to point this out.

"For once in her life, Lucille's being rational," I say to the group.

"Thank you…?" Lucille tries to work out if this is a compliment or not.

"Crying won't do her a thing," I continue. "It'll make her vulnerable and nervous and even shyer than she already is, which will boot her from the competition. Which, I'm sure, she does not want."

"That sounds a tad harsh, don't you think?" Alice asks me, surprisingly critical for someone who's generally a washcloth for Lily's tears.

"You think those boys won't be?" I retort. "You think the world won't be?"

"While that may be true, let her have her moment," says Alice. "Like Lucille said, she's among confidants. She shouldn't have to feel incriminated."

From the corner of my eye, I can see Hannah's red-rimmed eyes watching this exchange nervously. She clearly isn't sure what to do now that she's triggered an argument. She's probably one of those people who freaks out every time people aren't honey-sweet and smiling.

"Alice is right," Alicia thunders, bringing me out of my reverie. "Haven't you girls had crushes that made you upset at the thought of them?"

"No," Lucille and I say in unison.

"I've had a couple of boyfriends, though, and I only got to them by _not _crying and telling them I fancied them," I say. "If Hannah wants Peter, she ought to do the same. Peter is a Marauder – obviously, he won't take bullshit."

"Oh, so Hannah being perfectly normal and succumbing to strong emotion is considered bullshitting?" Alicia's all fired up by this one. "How dare you say that?"

"Crying is the same thing as bullshitting," I say. "It's giving up. It's stupid."

"So you've never cried a day in your life?" Alicia demands.

"I cried once the day my mother died," I allow, my voice stone-cold. "I was twelve. Otherwise, I don't think infancy counts."

"Well, _I_ think it's healthy to cry sometimes," Alicia declares in a way that makes me want to mock her endlessly. "It proves that you're normal. You're human. You, clearly, have a way deeper issue going on here, but you shouldn't use that as an excuse to pick on poor Hannah."

I glance around at the group. Lucille is looking expectant, waiting for this simmering argument to continue onwards to a rapid boil, while Verity and Lily have decided not to partake. Verity and Sadie are looking longingly at their books, having lost interest in the whole dilemma, and Lily continues to lie in Alice's lap, although Alice has stopped playing with her hair. Hannah wants to melt through the floor, as usual. Alicia and Alice are glaring at me, Sydney is wishing she could stop the whole thing from escalating farther. We're a motley collection of girls, when you look around at us.

Finally, though, I've decided I'm tired of this. It's not even worth the trouble I'm taking. I say, "Right then. I'm inhuman and you are the epitome of humanity, Alicia. I'll be sure to take notes the next time you have a tantrum."

I get up and cross the room to get to my bed without looking back at the other girls. This is ridiculous. I cuddle into my blankets without feeling their warmth, my back to the cluster of girls by Alicia's bed, something smoldering with anger in the back of my stomach.

I hate retreating – it's a sign of weakness, which is pathetic – but in this case, there was no point in continuing. Everyone participating was against me. It was about something completely absurd.

My only ally was Lucille Jansen – and I'd rather sacrifice my pride than continue a battle with _her _on my side.

I sincerely hope she is eliminated tomorrow.

**&**

Judging time comes up quickly for me, the day passing me by as if it's on fast-forward. I actually almost forget about it and make mental plans for a hot bath upstairs after a tough day of classes, but I remember in the nick of time when I see Sydney selecting a hair-band with a friend on a staircase landing. Thankfully, by the time I race up to the Room of Requirement corridor, I'm not late.

Everyone except Sydney is already there, lounging about, waiting, and I feel the coolness the moment I come near. Clearly, no one has forgotten the incident from last night with Hannah, Lucille, and I – and I am still the criminal here, the scapegoat.

I refuse to let this get me down though. It can't. I'm here to win this – that date with Sirius is something I'd rather like. He's probably a lot better than the other crap boyfriends I've had. He's funny, sexy, charming…everything those other shit-heads weren't. I'd like it if, just once, something worked out perfectly instead of going horribly, horribly wrong.

I'll be damned if some idiotic, idealistic schoolgirls ruin it for me by being immature.

I ignore them soundly, choosing instead to breathe yoga-style, in and out, in and out, clearing my head in preparation for the slaughtering we're going to be enduring in a few minutes. Somewhere in the midst of this, the Marauders finally arrive, waving and grinning away like the foolish celebrities they fancy themselves to be.

"Hey ladies!" chirps James.

"How goes it?" asks Peter.

There are some murmured assurances of good health from around the group, but otherwise, we stay quiet. I know I do. Hannah probably stays quiet too, because Peter was the one who asked the question. A horrible assumption, I know, but I have no patience for spineless girls.

"All right then, let's get this judging started!" says Sirius. "We're going to another unused classroom today, because we don't want to stay in the same place too long – so follow us if you want to get to the right place."

With this, he turns on his heel rather girlishly (not that I'd ever point that out, but still…) and he leads the group of us down the corridor. Three staircases, four trick steps and a back corridor I've never been in later, we arrive at our destination – a tiny classroom that clearly has not been in use for a while. Perfect for a little bit of Marauder mischief.

The boys go sit behind the teacher's desk at once. Sirius is holding a list of names this time. From here, I can see one is already crossed out – that would be Rosaline's.

"Okay," begins Sirius, "we don't have any pictures to judge today because the challenge was an interview. Because of that, we'll just talk through how we thought it went and tell you our perceptions. Remember, this whole competition is basically a test to see which of you is mad enough to date one of us. Every challenge counts."

Remus "borrows" the list from Sirius (i.e. snatches it from his hand and ignores his filthy returning glance) and says, "All right…Lucille, you're first."

A rush of blood goes through my body – and not in the good way – as Lucille grins and skips to the front. She's expecting more praise, like the last time. I hope that they don't give it to her, just to smite her.

"Lucy, love!" Sirius greets her before any of the Marauders can say a thing. "You had a great interview. I think you're marvelous."

"Thanks," says Lucille, all tongue-in-cheek, thinking she's adorable. Blegh.

"As excitable as dear Padfoot is, he's right – you were great," agrees James. "Very confident. That's important."

"She taught me how to put on a snorkeling mask," says Peter, chuckling. "She doesn't like silence much, that much is obvious."

"Maybe you got on better with the rest of the boys, but you and I didn't hit it off too well," admits Remus. "You weren't my favorite."

"Did you even have a favorite, Moony?" Sirius wants to know.

"I did!" Remus says indignantly. "I'll tell you about her when we get to her."

"Good interview, Lucy," says Sirius, smiling warmly at Lucille and letting her go. He "borrows" the list back from Remus, ignoring Remus's heavy eye-roll, and says, "Sadie, you're up."

Sadie smiles sweetly – she's one of the few girls I can actually stand in this competition – and stands before the Marauders. Sirius grins at her.

"You know, Sadie, I liked you too," he says generously. "You had a good interview too."

"Are you in a good mood or did you sneak butterbeer before judging?" James wants to know.

"Don't be cruel," Sirius objects. "I'm in a good mood! I've got nine hot girls here hanging on every word I say! Why _wouldn't _I be in a good mood?"

"Because you'd be drunk," says Peter.

Sirius pouts. "Can we go back to Sadie, please?"

"Sure thing," says James. "Sadie, you're wonderful. Really. Your sense of humor is slyer than I would've imagined."

"You know what you're talking about, which is refreshing," adds Remus.

"You're a lovely girl," says Peter. "I was the one who picked you, you know. Sirius wanted Deanna Miller, didn't he?"

"I did," Sirius says, unabashed.

"But I knew you'd be better than Deanna," finishes Peter. "Thanks, Sadie."

Sadie grins and walks back. I can't help but glance at Hannah to see her reaction to Peter's praise for Sadie – she looks like she'd like to melt into a puddle and seep through the cracks of the floor. Not very appealing behavior.

"Oi, Verity, you're up," says Sirius, holding the list away from Remus, who is making swipes to "borrow" it again.

Verity smiles that serene smile of hers and stands before them as well. "Yes?" she says.

"Merlin, Verity, your interview was something else," says Sirius, beaming at her. "I never knew you were so…harsh."

To everyone else around me, this remark hails startling. For me, since I know Verity better, it's not startling at all. Verity's ditzy front is just that, a front, because that girl has the sharpest social commentary I've ever known.

"Thank you," says Verity.

"You were my second-favorite girl yesterday," says Remus. "You look so slight, but Sirius is right – Merlin, Verity! You're something else."

"Thank you," repeats Verity.

"No problem – thanks for playing," says James, smiling. He finally breaks up the enmity between Remus and Sirius by grabbing the list from Sirius's hand and says, "All right…Sydney, your turn."

Perfectly cheerful, Sydney bounces forward. She's beaming. The Marauders smile back, James in particularly sporting a very kind sort of smile.

"Hey Sydney," he says.

"Hey!" she chirps.

"Well, Sidders, you did well too," Sirius says, cutting right to the chase, as usual. It's one of the things I like most about him. "You were the most rational out of these girls."

"You were my third-favorite girl," adds Remus.

"See, there you go, Moony likes you," says Sirius. "Obviously, you're a sane, logical person. Take that as a compliment."

Sydney giggles. "I'll try, Sirius."

"Yeah, so you did good," finishes off Peter. "Nothing else we can say, really. You were entertaining enough."

James holds the list away from both Remus and Sirius and announces, "Georgiana, you're next."

I step right up to claim my criticism/praise/whatever, wondering what they'll say about me. They look jolly enough – it could be something good. Sirius starts it off.

"I dunno about you, Georgiana, you were iffy," he announces. "I didn't have as much fun talking to you as I did with the other girls."

"Yeah, you're very…direct," agrees James. "It's disconcerting, you know?"

"You frighten me sometimes," adds Peter.

I nod, but I'm stunned by this. I scare them? The Marauders?

"You're a good conversationalist, just very high-handed," Remus says as fairly as he can. "You like control, I can tell. Maybe work that out a little."

Sirius did a bit of a drum-roll on the desk with his talented hands and finally succeeds in grabbing the list from James, who scowled. "And next I want…Hannah! Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, _Hannah_! Hannah my darling! Come here and let me see your beautiful face."

Hannah is beetroot-red walking forward for Sirius, looking particularly fragile today with her hair down around her small, pale, heart-shaped face. Sirius roars with affectionate laughter, while the rest of the Marauders grin along.

"Hannah, darling, you look like I've tried to eat your dog," says Sirius. "I'm just being friendly! Smile with me!"

Although I'm sure Hannah wants to scream and run away like the scaredy-cat she is, she apparently gives a phantom of a smile because Sirius laughs again.

"Hannah banana, never doubt our love for you," he says. "You're here for a reason, you know. Who picked her again?"

"Me," says Peter. "Because she's a lovely girl. Hannah, you're so shy! Does someone have a hair-tie? Pull your hair up now. Let's see you."

Alicia is making lovey-dovey faces with Sadie because she finds this so adorable – she undoes Sadie's ponytail in order to toss Hannah Sadie's hair-tie. "Here you go," says Sadie merrily.

"There we are," says Peter, smiling sweetly at Hannah as she fumbles with the hair-tie. "Much better. You're very pretty and easy to talk to; you're just painfully shy. I wish you could open up more."

"You were the most fun in the last fifteen seconds of our interview," says James.

"You don't have to be so frightened, Hannah," says Remus. "We would all love to hear from you more often."

"T-T-T-Thank you," stutters Hannah, sounding like her teeth are chattering.

"Say it again, loud and proud," says James.

"T-Thank you." A bit better. Goodness, Hannah is such a little mouse. She'll need to zest it up if she ever wants anything in her life.

"One more time, Hannah!"

"Thank you," she says very loudly, throwing us all for a loop. Sirius looks delighted.

"Good one!" he chirps. "Thanks, Hannah."

Hannah scuttles right back to where she'd been originally. I catch Sadie whispering in her ear that she can keep the hair-tie.

"Okay…" James has control of that list. It's a miracle that piece of paper hasn't been torn yet, to be quite frank. "Erm, I want…Alicia. Right here, right now." He pulls a very macho-man face. Alicia chuckles as she steps forward, preening as usual.

"Hey, Jamie," she says. "You're feeling outrageous and flamboyant today, aren't you?"

"Indeed I am, Delicia my dear," he says. "And you had a wonderful interview. In case you were wondering."

Alicia laughs a high, artificial laugh. "Really?"

"Yes, really," says Sirius. "You were my favorite girl, hands down – you are such a riot, you mad woman!"

Alicia curtseys low and deep. "Well then – what an honor," she says.

"You're lots of fun, Alicia," agrees Peter. "Very fun, very fresh. I like you."

"And I like you too," she says graciously.

"You're a pretty likeable person, Alicia," says Remus, finally regaining control of the list while James and Alicia share flirtatious smiles with one another.

They say something more about Alicia, but I tune out and don't hear it, because quite frankly, I'm not sure what's going on with James and Alicia right now. Alicia is a bit of a whore – she's friends with pretty much every single guy in this school and it's hard to believe not one of them made a move on her as she claims – so it's nothing new to see her flirting with someone, but it's more surprising to me because James is playing along.

There was a time not so long ago when he wouldn't flirt with anyone because he was too busy declaring his undying love for Lily Evans during classes – and I know this despite not even being in his house. Now, he's flirting with Alicia as though she's the only one he's got eyes for, while Lily is going to be called up near the end of the line-up rather than first, where she ought to have been.

It's odd. It's fishy. I don't know what love potion Alicia's been pouring into James's pumpkin juice, but whatever it is, it's strong and he's been taking it with all his meals.

"Thanks Alicia," I hear James say merrily. "Next I want…Alice."

Huh. Avoidance. I bet this is not going to bode well with him in coming weeks.

Still, Alice comes up as requested, smiling demurely with her hair back in a headband. She looks neat, clean, smiley and very cute. Much too sweet for the Marauders, although that seems to be working in her favor, judging from last panel.

"Hi," she says.

"Hey Alice, you look cute," Sirius remarks. "Damn. You make the _uniform_ look good. How do you do that?"

Alice giggles, but doesn't respond. James's smile is very warm.

"You know, Alice, you have to be the cutest girl in the competition right now," he says. "I just…I like you. You're so _nice_. It's so refreshing."

"Thank you," says Alice, smiling back at James.

"No, he's right," says Peter. "You're comforting, Alice. You're not one of the extremes here and that makes you, oddly, very appealing."

"You're tied for my second-favorite," says Remus, grinning.

"You're just lovely, Alice, what can we say?" says Sirius. "You bowl us over, keep us interested. I have a feeling we're going to be keeping you around a while."

"I certainly hope so," says Alice.

"All right, thanks, Alice," says James. "And last we have…Lily. Come here, Lily."

Wow. She's _last_? I wouldn't have seen that one coming…but now she's here, so all I can do is sit back and watch the fireworks, because we all know there are going to be a few. Guaranteed, with her presence in this competition.

Lily walks up though, calm, cool, and collected as usual, passing by Alice like a frisky little breeze, and James's relaxed expression hardens significantly as his eyes catch hers. He clears his throat and takes the lead in her critique, because the other boys need to know if it's okay to actually criticize her today.

"Lily," he says.

"James," Lily responds.

"As you know, we had a bit of a spat during your interview," says James, as though this is news to everyone. "But I have to say, your interview with me was the most interesting I'd had all evening."

Yeah, as if we're surprised by this.

"I have to agree with that," says Remus. "You were my favorite girl last night, Lily."

"Aww, how adorable!" Sirius proceeds by pinching Remus's cheeks, much to Remus's displeasure. "You like Lily-kins!"

Lily smirks –and snickers, in spite of herself. Remus rolls his eyes and swats his friend away, while Sirius can only guffaw away, amused as anything.

"But, to be honest, I liked you too, Lily-kins," he confesses. "You're feisty. Very fun to talk to. Maybe you're one of my favorite girls here – if only because you're so intensely hysterical. Inadvertently, of course."

"Merlin, thank you so much, Sirius," says Lily.

Sirius nods, beaming, and Peter snickers. "No, you're a nice girl, Lily," he says. "The hard part is getting you to _want _to be nice, you know what I mean?"

"I think I do." Lily is ice-cool, dignified, her head tilted up in such a way that she must be turning her nose up at those boys. The Marauders are satisfied enough with their conversation, though, and Sirius is about to dismiss her when all of a sudden, James speaks up.

"Lily, tell me – do you want to be here?" he demands, his perfectly serious hazel eyes flashing.

Lily is taken aback by this question, momentarily startled. "Excuse me?"

"I'm asking you if you want to be here," James repeats, deadly calm. "It's a worthy question to ask, now that we're at a bit of a crossroads with you. I want to know if you want this."

This seems to make sense – to her and to the rest of us. Lily stands there a few more seconds, pondering, and leaving us hanging on her breaths, wondering what she'll say. At least, that's the case for the girls around me. Me, I think Lily is far too overrated in both the eyes of the girls and the eyes of the boys – I couldn't care less no matter what she wanted. Her being here doesn't affect my want to win in any way. I stare at the ceiling and study the pattern up there while Lily formulates her answer.

Until finally –

"Yes," Lily says firmly. "I want to be here."

"Really." James is unimpressed – he wants more. I don't blame the poor bloke; I'd want more if I was him too.

"I do, I want to be here," says Lily. "I figure…you're right. It's a game, a spot of fun. I get to hang around with a different bunch of girls and goof around. I'm not here to win; but while I'm here, I'll give this a go. I do want to be here."

This is strangely rational, coming from Lily Evans – and, even stranger, it sounds sincere. She's given this thought and changed her mind, like Alicia kept hoping. She'll play this game. She'll do what they want. Amazing. I have a gut-feeling that James Potter has more influence over Lily's decisions than she would like.

James, however, is less excited than the stirred crowd of girls around me. Or, if he is as excited (or more so), he hides it extraordinarily well. He regards her with a cool nod of his head and says, "All right. Glad to have you aboard."

Lily's smile is significantly tight-lipped. "Thank you."

"Right then, you're dismissed."

Lily turns on her heel and marches back to stand with Alice. There's something so standoffish in the way they interact that I can't help but look back after her, curious, wondering what's going through her head and what's going through his and if it's worth caring about it at all. They really are a fascinating couple of people.

"Okay!" This is Sirius now, taking back control, calling our attention away from Lily and James and back to the mission we came for this afternoon. "Now that we've judged you all fairly and squarely, it's time for us to deliberate as 'just men' so we can make our final decision. You will be called back when it's your time."

Sirius claps his hands and we are officially dismissed into the corridor. The moment the door shuts behind us, I hear Sirius cast his charm on the door so we can't hear their conversation.

We are now in business.

**&**

We don't have to wait long for Sirius to usher us back into the classroom after the deliberation is over. Last time we had a judging, they took much longer. Alicia's watch reports a difference of four and a half minutes. Either this is a really good sign or a really bad one. We can't be sure which one yet.

Nevertheless, the only way to be sure is to go in and brave the elimination ceremony; so that's what we do. We go in. We stand there before James, who is holding his list, looking somber. I have a feeling James really enjoys doing this part.

"I'm going to call the girls with the best interviews first and move my way down," he says, "and the first name I'm going to call is…Lily. Congratulations."

Surprise, surprise. Actually, I'm more surprised that everyone else is even remotely surprised. Once Lily started trying, who could doubt her getting called first? Lily retreats to the side of the room, moderately surprised herself, and watches the rest of us with shifty emerald eyes.

"The next name I'm going to call," James continues, "is Alicia."

Alicia grins – second time getting called second, she's doing pretty well – and joins Lily on the side. The two exchange small smiles.

"The third girl on my list is Alice," says James.

Off goes Alice with the cute headband. Six of us left here.

"Fourth would be Verity," James announces.

Out goes Verity. Five more of us here. I can't fight the nasty, nagging voice in the back of my head whispering that one of us is going to be standing here alone for everyone to stare pityingly at. I hope it's not me.

"Fifth is Lucille," says James.

Out goes Lucille, that damned Lucille. Four more of us, three more spots left. My stomach tightens.

"Sixth is Sadie."

Out goes Sadie. Three more of us, two spots left. My heart beats faster.

"Seventh is Sydney," says James.

Sydney breathes a sigh of relief and goes over to stand by Alicia. It's only me and Hannah now, shy little Hannah who's in love with Peter Pettigrew. James surveys us both with those mesmerizing eyes of his, the Marauders behind him doing much the same but with much less potency. They let James take over the dramatics, mostly.

"So, Georgiana and Hannah, you're both here for different reasons," says James. "Opposite reasons, in fact. Georgiana, you're abrupt and unexpected and would do well with a softer appearance in public, rather than one that startles whoever you're with. Hannah, you're sweet, but far too shy, and we would love to see more of you emerge from underneath your shell. We _want _to know you, but you make it awfully hard."

James continues to stare at us. My stomach tightens up even more and my heart rate climbs up just slightly. Despite my cool, I suddenly wish I had a glass of water and a chance to prove myself again. I want to show the Marauders I'm not as hard as they think I am. There's more to me too. Just because I don't guard it as zealously as Hannah, doesn't it mean it's not there. Don't they know that?

"So, that means…Hannah, you'd better speak up next challenge, or we're going to have to let you go," says James gently. "And really, it's thanks to Peter that we changed our mind and allowed you another chance. He believes in you."

Hannah could pass out. I think she would, had it not been for the fact that she was allowed to wobble over to the rest of the girls, disbelief all over her face at her good luck while I am left here, the only one here, numb and freaked and astonished out of my mind.

After all this…I really didn't think I'd have to be the one to go back tonight.

"Thanks for playing, Georgiana," says James, putting his hand out for me to shake. "Sorry it didn't work out."

"Thanks for letting me play," I say as diplomatically as I can, even though my stomach is tighter than ever and my heart rate most likely won't let down for several more minutes because of the sheer anticipation. "It's really been a lot of fun."

I look to the girls, mostly to Sydney, who is about as shocked as I feel. I go over to her for a final hug – she's my favorite person here and knows it – and I'm surprised/touched to find that the other girls surround me too, in a big group hug. It's a little limp, but it's still quite nice of them. Sydney squeezes me the tightest and then lets me go, allowing me to make my solitary journey across the classroom out to the corridor. I won't be seeing them tonight in the Room of Requirement for gossip and chatting and silly girl talk.

Taking a deep breath, I wave good-bye to the girls and walk out to the corridor, as I'm supposed to. Even though this was only a game for the Marauders to pick a potential girlfriend, I can't help but feel a deep, sinking disappointment in my abdominal region because I lost.

I am the second girl to be eliminated. Most of the girls remain – eight of them to be exact – and they get to build more demented memories from this whole thing. Me, I'm going to be in the Ravenclaw common room and I'll only hear of everything second-hand. I won't be a part of this anymore. It's out of my hands, only barely touched by me. Barely anyone will remember me by the time the fun is over.

Ah, well. With Lucille still in the competition, may Merlin help them with whatever unfolds next in this mad competition.

--

A/N: Now that you've **read**, you can do the **reviewing **part. I would **greatly appreciate **that. **Sorry **about any typos too, by the way!

**Thanks**!!


	8. Four Faced and Proud

A/N: Damn, I **forgot to write the teaser **for the last chapter! I'm so sorry. It was **late** when I finished and I wanted to get to **sleep**. No matter – I've **got one for this chapter **and I've written it **before **the rest of the chapter so I **don't forget again**.

This one was **really, really fun **to write though, I must say. This is where I get to be **social/character critic **and I hope you **enjoy **that, because it's pretty much **my take on each girl's personality **and what I think of them. Verity **won't say much**, but she'll be **thinking plenty**.

All these **different voices** are so…**interesting **for me. It's a cool **character-developing **exercise.

Anyway. **Enjoy **this chapter and **please keep reviewing**, my darlings!! It's so **amazing **to know how much you guys are digging this and I **appreciate it more than you'll ever know**.

Cheers.  
Xx

--

**Verity Robinson**

--

As I watch Georgiana's expression melt as she gets eliminated, my first thought is…two girls down, seven to go before this whole thing is over.

I don't know if that's a good or a bad thought, because frankly, it could go either way and I'm not sure how catty I feel towards these girls at this particular moment. Everything is moment-to-moment, after all.

We hug Georgiana and James acts sorry even though I can tell he's amused by the way his fingers twitch, and finally, we are allowed to leave. I can feel the gossip energy running wild, intangible, through this crowd of girls and I'm sure they want a chance to talk about what just happened around us.

I decide I'll join in. After all, what other super-interesting activity do I have to do tonight?

I trail along the group near the back, 'with' no one as usual. I notice Alicia glancing back towards me curiously, but to be honest, I couldn't care less what less-than-pretty thoughts are going on behind her quite-pretty face.

Alicia is one of those people who comes across as easily likeable, with her big smile and crude jokes. She's got the biggest personality, making it easy for people to warm up to her and gravitate towards her – like Sadie, who is unsure and insecure and also Alicia's right-hand girl. But, eventually, Alicia turns herself out to be calculating, self-destructive, and wildly apprehensive about anything and anyone around her. All she's ever wanted was to be liked and so she does her best, trying to be what people want, and although she enjoys every minute flirting with guys and cracking jokes, that isn't all Alicia is.

It's all in the way her eyes flash when everyone isn't looking at her, how she chews her lip so carefully when people are arguing, figuring out the best way to get into the conversation:

She's not a horrible person or anything; she's just not what she appears to be.

We get to the Room of Requirement and settle in by Alicia's bed again, like we did yesterday, because Alicia likes a hang-out and a posse and a position near the top of the social food-chain. Control is as much Alicia's thing as it was Georgiana's – Alicia is just better about hiding it than Georgiana was.

"So…she's been eliminated," says Alicia. "What do you say to that?"

Me, personally, I say it's a good thing. Especially with her behavior last night, Georgiana is not the sort of girl I think many people would like to date. She mentioned boyfriends once during our minor group-spat and I bet those relationships crumbled quickly, because boys don't like to be with girls who make them question authority. The Marauders are right, Georgiana is far too direct and impatient, and I think her going home was a smart move to make.

But I'm not going to say anything to them. I never do. I know exactly how _my _logic looks and I'm more curious about how _their _logic works. I have yet to figure some of these girls out.

"I'm a little disappointed," admits Sydney. "I liked Georgiana. I liked having her around. Did you see her face when James told Hannah she could stay?"

Of course Sydney would like Georgiana. Sydney is the exact opposite of Georgiana – very nice, very compassionate, very willing to stand up for the meek and make sure everything's all right, everyone's happy, that sort of thing. The reason she likes Georgiana so much, I'm sure, is because Sydney wishes she herself was more direct, a little less compulsively-nice – it's an appealing fate to someone who _isn't _of that personality-type. She likes caring about people, but it gets to be too much, particularly because Sydney is a bit of a push-over (albeit a nice one).

But then again, that's just me. I don't know Sydney from anywhere; this is just from what I've seen thus far in this competition.

"I didn't like Georgiana too much," says Lucille. "I'm glad she's gone. She was quite obnoxious."

Very rich of her to say, considering Lucille's even more obnoxious. That's the problem with people like her – she's an absolutely self-blind ditz who has eyes for everyone's behavior except her own. She's cocksure and confident, which she's got going for her from last-last judging, but otherwise, she's silly and vain and moderately ridiculous. Sirius may enjoy her, but anyone's enjoyable if you like that sort of thing. Go figure.

"I dunno, I just didn't get to know her very well so I can't say," Sadie proclaims. "What do you think, Alicia?"

Sadie needs to get her own opinions. Feeding off of Alicia will get her nowhere, particularly because Alicia preys on such people, adoring the attention and letting it fill her with a false sense of entitlement and popularity. There is a reason Alicia hangs out with boys and not girls on a regular basis and why the Marauders love her so much – boys adore a girl like her, who plays their childish games and crows around like she owns the place. Girls are a little less tolerant, and I'm sure before this competition is over, Alicia will do something stupid and she will fall from grace. Everyone's grace. Including Sadie's.

"I dunno either, to be frank." I don't know if anyone believes the fake note of musing indecisiveness in Alicia's tone. I certainly don't – she probably had her opinion set the moment Georgiana was eliminated. "I mean, she certainly was quite harsh, but I'm not sure if I'm entirely sad to see her go…she added some drama here, that's for certain…"

"Nice to see your priorities are in the right place, Alicia," remarks Sydney.

"Hey, I'm being entirely honest here," Alicia defends herself. "I didn't like her and I'm trying to think of a reason why I could have."

To me, this is the saddest part about Alicia – these things she says _are _entirely honest. Which is _bad._

Still, Sydney shrugs and backs off. She cranes her neck to get a look at Hannah, who has not joined in the group conversation – she's in her bed with a book, obviously trying to ward off attention. Hannah doesn't like attention, mostly because she's generally got some self-worth issues she would do well to work out, but unfortunately for her, she's in the company of people who love doling out attention. She's not going to be safe for long, particularly when Alicia is nearby.

"Hey, Hannah," calls Alicia. "You see? Peter really likes you. I hope you can kick it up for tomorrow's challenge."

Hannah goes flaming red but refuses to look up from what she's reading. "Thank you, Alicia," she says. "All I can do is my best, though, so if my best is 'kicking it up' then I shall."

Very good answer. Hannah gets a few points for that one. Alicia grins, unrepentant for any of it, and turns back to the group on the ground. Now she looks at me.

"Verity, you're another quiet one," she says.

"Maybe I am," I respond, giving her my woolliest, prettiest smile. I find that these tend to throw other people off about me – I'm well aware everyone here thinks I'm a head-case. "I dunno. I'm not sure if I'm considered quiet, but I've never had as much to say as you."

Well, I do have more to say. I just choose to keep it to myself, unless it's absolutely necessary. But Alicia doesn't have to know that.

"Well, the Marauders said you had a really wickedly funny interview," recalls Alicia.

"Why do you care?" I ask before I can stop myself.

Of course, I have my own theories about why Alicia would care about my performance – most of them having to do with Alicia sizing up the girls to see who her biggest competition is – but I'd like to hear it from her too. It's only fair.

Alicia is thrown by my question. "I'm just curious," she says, recovering fast. "You never talk to any of us."

I shrug and don't respond, just to spite her. I don't say anymore. Vaguely frustrated, Alicia gives up and turns to talk to the other girls. Sadie hangs on Alicia's every word. The rest are contributing with mild gusto, chatting about various worldly matters, until finally, Sadie asks a question that makes me sit up and listen. Surprisingly.

"Hey, Lily," says Sadie. "After panel, it's been nagging at me and I must know…why did you change your mind about this game? Was it something James said or was there another reason?"

All chatter ceases. Even Hannah is listening from the bed, I can tell. I don't blame her – I want to know as well. Alice turns to her friend as well, calculating, while Lily is speechless with all the attention on her. Normally, she gets to decide when she wants all eyes on her.

"Erm…well, with all due courtesy, I'm not quite sure why my personal decisions are relevant," says Lily stiffly.

This response doesn't surprise me. It's impossible not to get to know Lily Evans well enough, with all the attention James Potter so loudly bestows upon her in front of anyone who happens to be there at the time, and from what I've gathered, James is the one aspect of her life that Lily hates discussing in public, unless it involves mocking him endlessly. There are lots of reasons why this could be, but the one I favor is the one that James so wholeheartedly tries to believe in – that she really does love him and is only biding her time until the truth slaps her repeatedly in the face and makes her take action.

Having to admit James might have had more effect on her than she would have liked would be the equivalent of cleaning the Hogwarts ground with her tongue in Lily's eyes.

But, of course, this only spurs the other girls on farther – particularly Lucille, whose interest has been irrevocably aroused.

"Of course it's relevant," says Lucille. "We want to know if you truly intend to play the game or not – because if we want it and you don't, that affects our chances as a whole."

Erm…no, not necessarily, but I don't want to be the one to tell her so. As a welcomed alternative, I focus my attention on Lily and her increasingly pink cheeks.

"Fine then," relents Lily. "But I don't really know what to tell you. I changed my mind because it was easier than having James at my arse about participating, and because I genuinely like most of you, and because Alice wanted me to. It was a combination of things and him humiliating me like that kind of…woke me up. I decided I ought to swallow my pride, play along, and later deny any and all rumors I was ever part of this. I know I'm not going to win, so it won't be exactly difficult."

"Who do you think you're kidding?" Sydney says. "If there's anyone who's destined to win this thing, it's you. James fancies you."

Lily shrugs. "Maybe, but that doesn't mean much. You all have as much a chance as I do – more, in fact, since I wouldn't put it past Sirius to make sure I leave at some point because of James's crush on me."

"Sirius likes you too," Sydney points out. "He said so tonight at judging."

"Look, it won't help you to try to pick their brains," Lily says impatiently. "The only thing that matters right now is that I'm here, I'm playing, and we've got another challenge tomorrow. Leave me alone."

"One more question," says Sadie.

"Oh dear," Lily groans.

"How do you feel about James Potter?" Sadie wants to know.

All eyes are on Lily again. It's really quite obnoxious, even for me, to admit it, but watching Lily squirm under the pressure of James-related questions is too entertaining a show to pass up. She's such a stubborn girl, head-strong and committed to her beliefs even when she knows she's dead wrong, and it takes a lot to wear away at her, but something will. Something always does. Lily takes a breath.

"If you're waiting for me to say I love him, I don't," she says firmly, even though her eyes (if you look close enough) say differently. "I don't like him that way, I never have. He's an arrogant prat and definitely not my taste. Is it really that impossible for a boy and a girl to interact socially without being considered an item?"

Well, when it's you and James, dear Lily, it _is _impossible.

However, Alicia, the amazing social wonder, pips up here, "Hey, I can relate. I have plenty of guy friends that I wouldn't date in a million years."

"Exactly," continues Lily, "and it's none of your business anyway. You have your own Marauder you're after, with or without me here, and you ought to focus on that instead. It's a more fruitful usage of your time, I would think."

Significantly puffed up and annoyed, Lily gets up and climbs into bed, joining Hannah in the not-being-social club past Alicia's bed. This reaction is very satisfying, because it's impossible to get so worked up over someone who doesn't matter to you. It's easy to make the case that she hates him; but if she really did, she would be able to talk about it happily instead of having to storm off.

She's in love with him and would do well to give up this fight, but of course she won't. I just hope she'll see the light before it's too late.

Now that Lily's huffed away, there is a rift in the atmosphere of our group. The girls decide to pack it in, Alicia claiming exhaustion and bounding beneath her covers. We all disperse, including me, and get into bed. Whispering continues, particularly between Sadie and Alicia, but that doesn't matter to me.

I honestly am tired and I would like some rest before tomorrow's challenge. Whatever it is.

And with this thought, I turn out the light beside me and think no more.

**&**

The next afternoon, when we have all assembled by the Room of Requirement corridor as per usual, the Marauders (minus Remus today) turn up with their four little third year helpers again – Bella, Sara, Penny, and Mary. They are armed with boxes looking like they contain make-up and they smile shyly at us, as though they are still intimidated by us. But, to her credit, Penny is the most fearless out of this bunch.

"So there are already two of you gone?" she asks.

"Yes," says Sydney. "Now we're only eight."

Penny nods and surveys us with interest, as though she's sizing us up to predict who will go home or win the whole thing. Her eyes linger in particular on Alicia with the short spiky hair and Lily the fierce redhead. She seems to favor them for the top. With Lily, it's a given, but Alicia could go either way.

"Right then, this challenge is going to be quite a lot of fun," says James. "It's another photo-shoot."

"Other than the swimsuit shoot, this is my favorite," adds Sirius with a wink.

"As you can see, the presence of our four little helpers means you're going to need make-up, but you can just keep the clothes you're in for this one," continues James.

"It's a head-shot," explains Peter. He's got the camera around his neck, so I'm assuming he's our photographer again this week. "We're doing twenty shots, like last time, but the trick is that we're dividing it up. Five frames for four different…themes."

"Good word, mate. The themes," Sirius goes on, "are going to be up to you. We basically just want you to invoke four different moods of your choice that describe you and we'll put them all together to show the 'different sides' of each of you."

Interest is high among the girls, and admittedly in me too. Four moods? Five pictures for each mood to choose from? Wow…this could be potentially interesting.

"You'll be telling Peter the photographer what you want for each adjective before we photograph you and we'll write it down," says James. "As a bit of a game, we'll have the other girls try to guess what your themes are during judging to see how effective you are."

"We like not only hot girls but girls who can show us exactly what they feel," says Sirius. "That's part of the point here."

Interest grows even higher. I can feel the girls buzzing, so eager to prove themselves. I must say, if Hannah wanted to show off her personality after last panel, this is an excellent opportunity for her to do so. This could actually be a lot of fun. I wonder what I want my adjectives to be…

Sirius claps his hands very loudly and catches all our attentions though, and I can muse upon this no longer.

"So!" Sirius is right back in control. "You're officially banished to the exile of the classroom we were in yesterday to do your hair and make-up with our third-years and we'll meet you in the old unused classroom we were in for the photo-shoot. One at a time, like before."

"We'll see you in a few minutes then," says James with his usual cheeky grin. "Bye, ladies."

We mutter good-bye as a group and allow the boys on their way while Penny and the younger girls herd us off to the classroom. They giggle apprehensively with each other and share looks that tell me exactly how nerve-wracking this still is for them. Only one of them, Mary, is truly enamored with this project – all that make-up has to be at least a little appealing. The other three look like they're in it solely for the attention the Marauders bestow upon them for the completion of their services.

Ah, well. What more can I ask of four thirteen-year-olds anyway?

I allow my line of vision to drift around the corridor, unfocused and barely there, and my feet carry me the rest of the way.

**&**

When we get into the classroom, the four girls produce four mirrors, drag over four desks for us to sit on, and open their make-up boxes. Since we're an even eight, two of us go to each one to be made-up. Sadie and Alicia go to Penny (the two are inseparable), Lily and Alice go to Bella (also inseparable), Hannah and Sydney go to Sara, and I go with Lucille to Mary. Lucille, being Lucille, asks to go first and I let her, because it's easier than arguing with her.

Unfortunately though, Lucille – still being Lucille – seizes this opportunity to start up a conversation with me, despite Mary's vain attempts at getting lipstick neatly on Lucille's ever-moving mouth.

"So, Verity," says Lucille in an over-loud voice that I have learned to be wary of. "How are you?"

"Fine," I say.

I make sure to make my voice as airy and gentle as it goes – maybe if she thinks I'm tired, sleepy, disinterested, or a combination of all three, she will leave me alone. A feeble hope, most likely one that will be crushed in a matter of moments, but a hope all the same. I've always seen the glass half-full anyway.

But, inevitably:

"Oh, well, that's good," says Lucille. "So, I'm a little curious about something, and I wonder…will you answer a personal question?"

"It depends on how personal the question is," I respond.

Knowing Lucille and the shallow baby-pool that is her deep, inner thinking mind, it will probably be something along the lines of 'Why don't you talk?' or 'Who do you like?' I am willing to bet plenty on this; for Lucille, bless her, has never been known for profound intensity in conversation.

"All right then," says Lucille, thinking this one over, "I want to know…why don't you talk?"

Thank you, thank you. I'll take my hundred Galleons in a _blue _velvet bag, please.

I pretend to ponder this purely to humor her anyway. It makes me look more impressive, I suppose – all that dramatic, pensive thought! I surely must be an interesting person, an easy target for intrusive interviews. It is a great paradox of life that the people who are bubbling over with things to say are the ones evaded while the people who pray not to be bothered are endlessly harassed by people such as Lucille. Why does everyone want to hear what I have to say? I will never understand this.

I take a breath and stare into Lucille's open valentine of a face – her fluffy dirty-blonde hair, cheerful cerulean irises, full pink lips. She is as earnest as I shall never be and for this (as well as another meager hope that she will take heed from my silence and leave me alone), I give her a slight smile.

"There's no specific reason for it," I say. "There's just never much I need to articulate aloud. I'm content keeping things to myself."

"You shouldn't," Lucille advises me. "Apparently, you're a very interesting person – at least, the Marauders appear to think so. You ought to speak up more."

"Thank you," I say smoothly. "I'll consider it."

Lucille finally shuts up and I'm grateful, but I'm intrigued by the genuine compliment buried somewhere in her statement. Normally, Lucille is not the complimentary type. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm just stating a fact – more often than not, Lucille is a little too busy worrying about her own performances to care about anyone else's. And who could blame her? She's only worried about number one, which is her own happiness, as everyone here is. It's not as bad as it sounds, it really isn't.

After a couple of minutes, Mary finishes up with Lucille and she bounces away, leaving the spot clear for me. I tilt my head so that Mary can spread powder around on my jaw, the brush's bristles gently sweeping over the surface of my skin; and as she vaguely comments about how fabulous she thinks my skin is, my thoughts wander back to the last challenge, the Marauder interview.

It had been a fun time, I won't deny that in the least. The Marauders are easy in conversation and quite easy on the eyes – particularly lovely, crinkly-eyed Remus, who was an absolute gem, and amusingly eager Peter, who tripped over his tongue trying to keep things going along.

Sirius was, of course, a riot, and when I came to his table, he immediately _had _to know my opinion on each of the girls. He rattled them off one by one and I gave an adjective for each of them and he howled with laughter. He's got such a sense of humor and I could feel myself unfolding for him, giggling more than I should, coming out of my shell a little.

James was a mixture of Remus and Sirius – extremely sweet but with an edge of mischief, a sarcastic tongue, a colloquial elegance to his speech. I had a hard time placing the insanely charismatic young man before me with the "prat" Lily Evans continues to refer to him as.

After talking to him for even the short amount of time I had, it was puzzling to me that Lily could hate James so readily and so passionately.

It's nice to think I'm good at something. It's nice to think people recognize me, pay heed to me and who I am, respect me despite the obvious difference between me and everyone else here. Although it is bizarre, I must say, this competition is one of the nicest memories of Hogwarts I've collected in seven years.

Mary unleashes a few more eye products upon my eyelids and then sends me on my way to wait for my interview with the others. I linger around the fringes of the various dialogues passing around me, almost like a phantom in make-up applied by a thirteen-year-old, and watch the girls interact with passive interest.

Alicia and Sadie and Sydney laugh together, joined surprisingly by Hannah, who was talking to Sydney during make-up time. They are comfortable together and discussing the competition thus far, and how it was, and who was doing well, things like that.

Lily and Alice contribute a little, but mostly keep to themselves, Lily in a happier, healthier mood than she's been in lately.

Lucille hangs about the fringes with me. She tries to catch my eye, but I ignore her, because I'm not going to be her crutch because the other girls are less than fond of her. It's just not going to happen.

I sigh to myself, the faces of the girls floating around in my head like apples bobbing in a whirlpool. I don't belong here, but I don't think I need to; it's just a trite social luxury. All I'm here to do is observe, report, and maybe win a date with Remus if future events work out my way. I'm not here to win any new friends – I already have all the people around me that I need, that's a fact.

I flop down and rest against the wall, sliding down slowly, slowly, my shirt rumpled against my back as I sink down to the floor to wait.

**&**

First goes Lucille; then goes Sydney; then goes Alicia; then goes Hannah; then goes Lily; then goes Alice; then goes Sadie; and then finally, I get up and go. I didn't plan to go last or anything, it just happened to work out that way. Whatever.

I let Sara lead me to the classroom where the Marauders are shooting today. I have lost track of which one it is, because there are about four different rooms we use. Hogwarts clearly neglects too many classrooms here, but that's not my problem.

Sara drops me off at the door and says something about needing to get her homework done. She scampers and I'm sure the other three have fled already, since it's usually Sara's job to herd us around to our challenges. I smirk; and when Sadie comes out of the room, flushed and visibly excited, I know it's my turn to slip inside and take my photos.

Once inside, the room looks a lot like it did for the first shoot we did – they have cleared away the desks and put up a white bed-sheet as a background. Peter is holding the camera, while James and Sirius stand to his right, chuckling over something. When they see me, they beam.

"Hey, Verity!" chirps Sirius. "Nice to see you!"

Sirius is always happy to see me. Sirius is always happy period – whenever I see him, he's laughing and joking and teasing and being a very charming prick – which leads me to believe he really isn't as happy as he seems. Life just doesn't work like that, with sunshine and rainbows around every corner. Now, as he greets me with his usual bright smile, I can't help but wonder what murky, dark, unhappy thoughts are currently floating around in his sharp subconscious.

"Nice to see you too, Sirius," I say, casting him his favorite through-the-eyelashes glance. Sirius grins.

"Ah, Verity. Forget what I've said about everyone else. _You _are my favorite girl in this competition," he says affectionately.

I only smile, but privately, I wonder how many girls he's said this to (because face it, I can't be the only one) and how unlikely it is for this statement to be true. I'm not his type. I'm not flamboyant or silly or particularly hilarious. I wonder why he says things like this that make my head turn.

Then –

"Stop flirting, Sirius," James says, kicking his friend in the shin and beaming at me. "It's time to do her photo-shoot, she's the last one. Blimey, I'm tired…and Remus is going to _demand_ I do my homework when I get back as part of our deal…"

"Why didn't you think of that when you and Sirius were shoving éclairs down your throats all last night?" asks Peter.

"Shhh!" Sirius responds noisily.

These boys work so well together, I muse. Very natural, very easy. Very funny, too. There's no ring-leader (although if there was, it would be James or Sirius) and no hard feelings for anything among them – they are a group, a unit, a tight-knit set of boys who understand each other on a deeply instinctual level. It's something to admire, how close they are. I know so many people who could never do what they do, or at least not as well as they do it.

"All right," Peter says, finally decisive, holding up his camera. "Back to business. Verity, we need four adjectives that you want to portray."

"I, Sirius the Scribe, shall writeth them down for thy convenience," Sirius adds, picking up some parchment and a quill from the ground and putting it against the wall, poised to write.

There is already a lot of writing on the parchment, presumably for the girls before me, and it's all documented in Sirius's neat, slanted handwriting. Contrary to popular belief, Sirius is the one with beautiful handwriting – James has the chicken-scratch nobody can read.

"All right then," I say. "Erm…thoughtful, enigmatic, ardent, and quirky."

"Okay, fair enough," says James with a nod. "I like it. You got all that, Pads?"

"Yep," confirms Sirius, dotting a couple of 'i's' and giving James a thumb's up. "We're ready to go."

"Right," says Peter. "So we'll do demure first. You've got five shots."

"All right," I say, stepping in front of the sheet background, tucking my hair behind my ears. "Ready?"

"Go!" says Peter.

I'm completely new to the idea of modeling for a camera – I rarely take pictures for fun with friends, let alone for something like _this _– so I'm not sure how to be thoughtful for them. I pull a few experimental thinking faces, trying to recall what little I know from fashion magazines nicked from my Muggle friends. The boys seem to like it, so I guess it's good enough. I dunno.

Next we do quirky. Now I'm getting the hang of this – for this adjective, I pull a few silly faces, the kinds that get my baby cousins giggling for the rest of the evening. It's not easy looking insane, because that's just not my style, but Sirius whoops and James laughs, so I go on anyway.

"Verity, you're fantastic," Sirius tells me, cracking up, when I finish with cynical. I feel myself blushing unwillingly.

After that, we do enigmatic. For this one, I try to pull the 'you-can-look-but-you-can't-touch' kind of emotion, angling myself away from the camera, playing hard to get, flirting a little. I pretend Sirius is trying to make a move on me, silly as it is and ashamed as I am to admit it. James says something about how the camera is just loving me and I'm a natural model, the best he's seen today. I fight to keep arrogance out of my chest; I wish they wouldn't compliment me so.

Last, I am told to embody the word ardent. For this, I let myself loose and pretend the lenses are the eyes of Sirius Black, watching me, seeing right through me, figuring out the girl I am without a second's hesitation. It's such a beautiful thought, even if it's embarrassing and I'll never tell anyone as long as I live. I barely pay the clicks any attention, choosing to look around the room, keeping my face relaxed but unfocused, not keeping track of anything. When the fifth click goes off, the boys are raving.

"Brilliant!" chirps Sirius. "Verity, you sly thing, who knew you could be so damn talented?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if you have the best shoot," says James. "You're amazing – and quite diverse as well."

"You're easy to shoot," says Peter. "I wish we had more frames, because this is really, really good, Verity. You're beautiful."

"Thank you," I say, feeling the heat come to my cheeks. Oh, the flattery…I have such a love-hate relationship with flattery. I've never been called beautiful before in my life and all of a sudden, I kind of miss that now.

Chewing my lip, I wave good-bye and flee the room, because this is awkward and I don't like the camera and wow, that was terrifying and horrifying and I honestly have no idea why. The girls are already gone from the classroom we'd had make-up done in, so I go straight to the Room of Requirement and collapse in bed, ignoring the pointed stares from the girls talking by Alicia's bed again.

Attention from the Marauders is overrated. Alicia is very welcome to it, because I could not want it less if I tried.

--

A/N: Yeah, the **over-dose of musings **in between the dialogue scattered throughout **can be a little irksome**, but **each chapter has a "style" **and since Verity isn't known for her talking, **this was the "style." **Just so you know.

Oh. And as promised –

Coming up next chapter…

A **minor conversation**.  
A _girl in her shell_.  
A change in the winds.  
A _lot of critique_.  
An **elimination**.

See you next chapter!


	9. And Then There Were 7

A/N: Chapter **9 **already! Wow. I am **so glad **you guys are enjoying this story. **Sorry **for the slightly late post – life's just been a bitch of late. But your support has been nothing short of **phenomenal **and I can **never thank you enough**. Siriusly. Your reviews **make me blush **and want to write so much faster.

Now, though, I'm all nervous because I **don't know if I can deliver**. Eek!!

**Disclaimer** – I feel bad about being called creative with these challenges when I don't deserve it, so I need to say this: I **didn't make them up**. The real show **ANTM** **used most, if not all, of these ideas **throughout the cycles and **these are just my favorites**. **I** **only own the OC's**; everything/everyone **else **belongs to various other **more creative **people. Just so you know.

**Enjoy **the chapter, ladies and gentlefolk, and – as always – _**read **_and _**review**_.

Cheers!  
Xx

--

**Sydney Shaw**

--

After the challenge yesterday, the general mood in the group has generally been quite hassle-free.

As is to be expected, some girls – i.e. Lucille – think they've done fabulously. Lucille isn't afraid to say that she thinks she's the best girl here. She can be a little tiresome when she goes on about her adjectives and how funny the Marauders were when they shot her, but otherwise, her confidence is probably the only real confidence we have in this entire group. We are all surprisingly insecure about ourselves – or we just don't care at all.

Lily, for example, couldn't care less, because she's just playing along for the hell of it and Alice has never taken the time to worry about how she looks in the Marauders' eyes. Alicia lives for every moment, every second, and figures she will find out how she did soon enough, therefore giving it little extra thought. Sadie agrees with Alicia's logic but Hannah is passively nervous, not wanting to talk about the photo-shoot.

Of course, nobody ever knows what Verity thinks or how she did – she's a hard girl to size up.

Me personally, I think I did all right. I mean, I had loads of fun with it, which has to count for something. Effort or something. My adjectives were fair, earnest, gentle, and amusing. Amusing was my favorite to shoot because I got to make stupid faces at the camera and Sirius said I was hysterical. It was a great idea for a shoot and I usually look fairly decent in photos. I am certain enough I can to stay another couple of days, maybe more. I'm middle-of-the-pack in terms of my performance against that of the other girls.

The night after the challenge passes uneventfully. We go together to the Room of Requirement and I do my homework on my bed as usual, listening to Alicia animatedly recall some idiotic story or another involving a broom cupboard, four quills, and a head of lettuce.

Sadie is laughing so loud that it's tough to concentrate on Potions. It's obvious Lily wants to say something, as she is quite cross with her Charms book, but she's restraining herself. I'm grateful for the peace in the room, the comfortable ambiance swirling around us all.

I've been called overly-peaceful in a bad way before, but when everything is in harmony like it is right now, it's easy to see why I like it so much. There's a certain kind of beauty in this, a group of girls enjoying a lazy evening together, sheltered and cheerful and happy. I don't know why, but people are so cynical here. What's wrong with having sunshine over clouds? What's wrong with hoping tomorrow will be a better day? What's wrong with loving the contended serenity of an evening placidly spent?

It's nice; it's simple; it's so, so easy. I love it.

Alicia releases her loud, uproarious laugh into the still air of the room and goodwill washes over me like a really nice bath. I can't help but smile to myself as I turn the page in my Transfiguration textbook:

What a lovely group of girls and what a lovely way to bring them all together.

--

My good friend Annie has often referred to it as my "missionary mood," but whatever you want to call my unbreakable streak of jollity, it has now bled into the day after the challenge as well. I can't help but smile at everything. People say it's naïve and idealistic of me to feel like the world can be full of sunshine, but again, I think it's silly to be so negative.

People can co-exist very well if only they wanted to – I am a full believer in humanity and the miracles it can produce when given the motivation.

Annie has already left when I set out from the fifth floor. She seeks company in the form of her boyfriend George tonight, so she's out snogging him in some back corridor nobody cares about before they go to the library to play their favorite game, "Let's see how long we can shag in the Restricted Section before Pince goes medieval over our bare arses."

Annie loves such games – and although it sounds bad, she really is quite a lovely girl. She's just very…feisty. There's a reason she's a Gryffindor and I am her merry Hufflepuff friend.

I make my way up to the seventh floor to meet with the girls and the Marauders, as usual, and as I go, I happen to bump into Alice Prewitt on the staircase. She looks slightly cross about something, so when I catch up to her, the first thing I ask is, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I suppose I'm all right," Alice offers moodily. "Lily and I were just…never mind."

"Where is Lily?" I want to know.

"She's coming," Alice says somewhat darkly. "She has to finish something up in the library."

I think of the library and I can't help but grin a bit, although I don't explain why. Instead, I observe Alice's not-so-bright expression on our silent path up to the meeting spot – Alice has got very sweetly arranged features, but at the moment they aren't shining like usual. She is deep in thought and something tells me she's more vulnerable now than she would be normally.

Although it might be wrong, I decide to take advantage of this softness – I have never had a real conversation with Alice before since she's such a turtle hidden in her shell. Since she and Lily are always together, this might be the only opportunity I get to take the leap and find out something about her.

I ask, "So…are you really all right?"

Alice sighs a long, heavy sigh. "Yeah, I suppose," she says. "Just bloody tired, that's all."

Obviously, she's being evasive – which means I need to be creative to worm something out of her. I say, "Yeah. This competition somehow makes it quite difficult to get schoolwork done."

"Yeah," Alice agrees vaguely.

"You know, you seem very out of it," I say. "Is there…well, is there anything you need to talk about?"

Alice looks me right in the eye. "I wouldn't have taken you for the nosy type, Sydney, but since you so desperately want to know, I'm annoyed with Lily," she says shortly. "She and I got into an argument, so I left to come to elimination earlier than her so I could cool off. Is that enough information for you?"

I'm stung by the tone and the assumptions she's making, to be honest. I mean, I did want to know more, but it wasn't to be nosy – I wouldn't do that. I wanted to help. Otherwise, Alice seemed to be so demure and innocent during panel and whenever I saw her out and about. Watching her snap at me and then walk slightly ahead of me until we reach the seventh floor is like a slap in the face – and so is the idea that it could affect me so. I shouldn't have judged her so quickly.

When I get to the seventh floor, every other girl but Lily is there, waiting. Verity lounges about on the side, vacant and not talking to anyone. Lucille is humming to herself beside her. Alicia and Sadie are deep in conversation, low tones and serious faces, while Hannah stares at the ceiling, appearing to be dreaming about something. Alice has settled into a petulant, cleansing sort of quiet net to her. The atmosphere is strange, not at all like it was last night, so nice and harmonious. I wish it could be the same again.

I linger to the side as well, since I don't have a particular friend after Georgiana left and I'm not close to anyone else. It's rather lonely though, being all by myself, so I'm quite relieved when the Marauders cruise in, radiant and grinning broadly as usual. They are such a presence wherever they go – no one can help smiling when they're around.

"Bonjour. Ainsi les dames, comment sont vous?" Sirius asks politely. I'm amazed at how fluid and eloquent the words are, rolling off his tongue as if they were created to be spoken by him and his deep voice. Even though I have no idea what he's saying, it does sound beautiful and I am plainly not the only one who thinks so.

"Will you stop with the French, Sirius?" Remus requests irritably. "Nobody wants to hear you talk in a language they don't understand! You're bad enough in English."

"Vous êtes une personne horrible," quips Sirius.

"Why is he talking like a sexy Frenchman instead of a sexy Englishman?" Alicia wants to know.

Remus sighs while James and Peter chuckle. James says, "Well, it all started at breakfast this morning…"

"Sirius made an unfortunate remark that caused most of the table to mock him endlessly," explains Peter as Sirius's mouth curls into a scowl, "and James said he was a brainless twat…"

"No, I said he was a mentally-challenged anatomical part of a woman's body!" complains James. "Totally different!"

"While either way, it gave off the same vibe," Peter continues. "He also said that Sirius spoke English so terribly, it would be awful to hear him speak another language."

"James est un fou," Sirius declares. "Mon Français est beau."

At once, James ponders this statement (uttered in quick, hard-to-follow French) and tries to figure out if Sirius has insulted him or not. Peter pats Sirius's shoulder understandingly, but finishes for us, "So, Sirius is on a challenge to speak French all day."

"And he came up with the challenge himself," Remus adds. "In case you were wondering, no, we did not inflict this punishment upon ourselves. Not purposely."

"Mais est ce ce que vous pensiez. Tout que vous avez voulu était de m'entendre parler une langue romane. Je comprends. Je sais que je suis bien plus attirant quand j'emploie un," Sirius babbles at once. Remus gives Sirius a filthy look, but all he does is look pityingly at his best friend.

I love watching Remus and Sirius interact and banter so amusingly together. They make such a great pair – if Sirius ever gave up women (which is doubtful), I am sure he would go for Remus. James is too similar; Sirius would get bored after a while. At least with Remus, the you-are-such-a-studyholic-and-you-need-help jokes (among others) are abundant and amusing.

Still, James now roars with laughter (he hasn't got a clue what Sirius is saying either) and he says, "So that's the reason for all the French floating about. Don't worry – it gets easier to ignore after a while. And we've made him swear he'll do panel in English."

"Oui, malheureusement," Sirius confirms. I only know the 'oui' part. I figure the rest of it is him mocking someone, but I could be wrong.

"Right then!" says Peter, clapping his hands. "So, let's get started with judging, because we had a really fun challenge this time and I can't wait to see how it all worked out. The procedure will be a little different today. I think you guys are going to enjoy it."

"Nous l'apprécierons probablement," says Sirius. "Nous obtenons ennuyeux faisant la même chose toute l'heure. La variété est une bonne chose."

"Sweet Merlin, Pads, would you _please _talk to us in bloody English again?" James requests. "I'm sorry I thought you were a brainless twat!"

"A mentally-challenged anatomical part of a woman's body," reminds Peter.

"Yeah, that," says James. "All right, mate? You're intelligent and speak English perfectly and obviously your French is superb. Better?"

Sirius considers a moment, then says, "Well, since you asked _so _nicely…"

"Thank goodness," says Remus. "For the first time in living memory, I'm actually excited to hear what you have to say, Sirius."

"Aww, Moony." Sirius affectionately/sarcastically rumples Remus's hair, making him groan. "Thanks."

Now he finally turns his attention back on us and says, "So what I was saying was, we get bored pretty easily and changes in routine are necessary. This panel should be awesome. C'mon – we're going downstairs to a lovely Potions classroom that's temporarily out of use downstairs."

"Aren't the Potions classrooms always in use because we have a shortage?" I ask.

"Well…yeah," says James. "And that's most of the reason why we put a very official-looking notice from Dumbledore on the door to keep people out for a few days. It serves two purposes – one is to give us a place to judge and other is that we get to piss off old Sluggy. That's always loads of fun."

I glance over at Lily for her reaction, mainly because she's on very good terms with Slughorn and hates it when people disrespect authority, and I'm not disappointed – she looks pretty frustrated. It's a wonder she's holding her tongue, since she's someone who's vocal about standing up for her beliefs.

I don't know if the boys noticed or if they're ignoring her, but they continue on anyway as if she isn't glaring bloody murder at them.

"I wonder what he'll do tomorrow when he sees his sign," muses Sirius. "Probably drink himself into a coma with the sherry stash he thinks we don't know about…"

"And dare we ask how you came to know about?" inquires Sadie.

"I wouldn't recommend it," says Peter, going red.

Sirius only grins. "Enough chit-chat," he decides. "I want to stare at hot girls for a half hour before I retire for my beauty sleep."

He makes a big, sweeping motion with his arm and leads us off down the corridor so we can catch the stairs to go down to the Entrance Hall, where there is another corridor leading to the Potions wing of the castle. We girls follow right along, breaking up into groups and chatting. I walk with Alicia, who eagerly includes me in her circle as she tells a story about a hag she met over the summer last year.

Lucille has never made it a secret she dislikes Alicia, but to be honest, I adore Alicia. Watching her chatter away now, dazzling and alive with a light behind her face that can't be quenched, I can't help but feel a little wistful.

Alicia is so full of soul. She thrives in the attention of people. While I prefer being merely content, Alicia will go out of her way to live it up, go harder and farther and faster than everyone else. She can motivate herself enough. She's extraordinary, she's beautiful. She's as dynamic as I will never be and I envy her for that.

Sadie laughs at the punch-line of the tale and I laugh too and Alicia glows. She glows so brightly that she could be our torch into the dark stone passages of the Potions wing, bringing vitality to a place that knows none, laughing and displacing dust that nobody thought would ever be able to budge.

--

Once we assemble in our usual clump in the classroom, the Marauders are settled onto their chairs at the teacher's desk. Sirius holds the infamous folder in his hand. They are all smiles, ready to begin. We smile back and wait. James clears his throat.

"So," he says, "this week, your challenge was to take four pictures portraying four adjectives that describe you, with Peter as our lovely photographer."

Peter waves to us. I, at least, return the wave and get a beam from him in return. I feel Hannah melt just a little beside me.

"Right, so because we're going on the assumption that you don't know which adjectives each girl chose to shoot with us, we're going to turn this panel into a bit of a game," continues James.

"We've arranged the best shot for each adjective onto one page that we'll blow up here and basically, the seven not being judged are supposed to guess what the adjectives are," says Sirius. "And, of course, we have to comment on how the pictures came out compositionally as well."

"Of course," Remus repeats dryly. Sirius grimaces, making me giggle unwillingly.

"Our first girl of the night is…" James snatches the folder from a protesting Sirius and scans through the pictures. "Alicia," he decides, handing Sirius Alicia's photographs. "Come on up, Delicia."

Alicia smirks and comes up, giving James a jaunty curtsy. Alicia, despite her enormous personality and hysterical jokes, is actually the shortest girl here, with short, spiky black hair and blue eyes that pierce when her mood is intense enough. She looks amusing, curtseying like that, and she knows it.

Sirius grins. "Hey Alicia," he says amiably. "Here are your shots, then!"

The picture is blown up and stuck to the wall, like it was the last time we did a photo-shoot. We are now treated to four variations of Alicia and it's rather startling at first glance.

The first picture of Alicia has her pulling some bizarre expression with her gorgeous features twisted up. The second features her looking sardonic, derisive, making an intelligent pose but making it come across as a mockery. The third is interesting, with Alicia looking up through her eyelashes and appearing much softer than I ever thought she could, but the fourth is the stunner, with Alicia looking straight into the camera, blue eyes smoldering, her face completely at peace. It's electrifying, almost spooky, as if she's staring straight at you. It takes a minute to absorb; but when we do, the guesses are immediate.

Eventually, it turns out that Sadie manages to get three out of the four (insane, sarcastic, and charismatic), but the fourth we can't get, the one with Alicia's face filling up the camera. We all ponder it, except Lucille who doesn't like Alicia and Lily, who has given up and is picking dirt out of her nails and Verity, who has lost interest and is looking around at all of us, her blue-gray eyes undecipherable.

"I dunno," says Sadie, shrugging and looking lost. "I'm not sure what it is."

"It's pretty," offers Hannah. She's tried to do a lot of guessing today, presumably to get in the Marauders' good books after their pleading with her to show more personality today. "I like it as a picture, I just don't know what it means."

"It's…odd," I admit, gazing at it. "I mean, it's just…it's unexpected to me…"

"That's it!" Alicia suddenly shrieks, making us all jump about a foot in the air. "Sydney, you got it, well done! I was trying to go for unexpected, because I surprise people. I don't like to stay the same all the time, changing things up is so much more fun."

I can't help but smile, knowing I've got Alicia figured out. Alicia then looks to the Marauders for their opinions, and as usual, they don't disappoint.

"Well, I mean, what we have to say is all pretty obvious," says James. "You're funny, you're sexy, and you're pretty damn photogenic. You're one of the best in the bunch at this point, I think."

"You can take a good picture, Alicia, and you've got a lot of spunk to you," says Remus. "You can come across a little over-the-top sometimes, but I think it's part of your charm."

"If James wasn't so enamored with you, I'd take you," Sirius says bluntly. "I think you're fabulous. A great catch."

Alicia laps it all up, particularly as Peter starts praising her angles and the composition of her face and how it takes the light. She is so excited by the overwhelming positive feedback. When they're done telling her how amazing her pictures are, they dismiss her and call Sadie up to the stand.

Sadie had done critical, compassionate, firm, and optimistic. We guess hers at once, because they're really easy, and the Marauders agree that she's just amazing. Peter raves about how much the camera loves Sadie's face and how it's easy to get a great shot. Sirius and James talk about how hard it was to pick the best picture since they were all so different and fantastic. Remus likes how personable Sadie is, and how she's lovely but not as dramatic as, say, Alicia. I think Remus prefers mild-mannered girls, rather than the sassiness that his friends adore in Alicia.

After Sadie, we get to see Lucille's pictures and astonishingly, they aren't very good. She did hyper, gorgeous, chatty, and likeable. The last time we saw a photograph of her, it was magical; but with the way the Marauders rip on her modeling abilities today, I'd say that picture was a fluke. Peter says that she doesn't hold an expression long enough for him to catch it and Sirius says that she's kind of affected, not as much fun as she'd been before. Remus and James warn that she shouldn't get complacent. It's a bit of a blow to Lucille, who honestly thought she did well, and she is crestfallen walking back to us. Thankfully, no one says anything obnoxious to her, but I'm sure they're all thinking it.

Once Lucille is dismissed, Hannah is brought forward. When we see Hannah's photos, my first thought is, 'Oh dear.'

It's heartbreakingly obvious that Hannah tried hard yesterday. Very hard. Her expressions are as dynamic as she can make them, her adjectives words like polite, sweet, quiet, introspective (all coined by Verity in one breath a minute or so in, surprisingly), but she doesn't have the confidence of Alicia to pull them off. All her pictures are mostly the same, with few disparities, and she looks washed out. The boys tut-tut at her immediately.

"Hannah banana, you know I'm your biggest fan, but I really wanted to see something a little more…exciting this time," says Sirius with a sigh. "I could see you were giving it your best, but love…what were you thinking?"

"I just…I wanted you to l-like my pictures," she stammers. "That's what I was thinking."

Peter looks pityingly at Hannah. "You've got a great face," he says. "It's very pretty. You need to find your angles and find out where they make you look the best."

"We love you, Hannah, we really do, but you're not giving us a lot to work with," says Sirius.

"We're all friends here," says James. "That's really all I can say. Don't be so nervous."

Remus nods in agreement, studying the pictures with a probing look on his face, as though he's trying to figure her out. Hannah bites her lip and disappears back into our group. Next, they call my name.

"Sydney!" chirps Sirius. "Sidders, Siddums, Sydney-widney-kidney! Come here, Sydney! You're the knee of the bee, you know that?"

I chuckle, tucking my hair behind my ear, as the Marauders groan at Sirius's word-play and I walk up.

"Hey Sirius," I say.

"Hey, darling. Let's see how you did." He gives me an air-kiss and then blows the picture to the same big size so we can see it. To be honest, I'm curious to see how I did as well – I thought I'd done all right. The pictures are put up on the wall in front of the others and I get to see myself displayed before me. It's always been a little weird, if I'm honest.

My words were fair, earnest, gentle, and amusing and Lily startles us all by guessing fair while Alice gets earnest. Alicia is having the most fun out of all of us and she got the other two. The Marauders scrutinize my pictures very seriously (no pun intended!) until Peter speaks up first.

"You know, Sydney, you were very awkward and hard to shoot sometimes, but I must say, you were my favorite of the afternoon," he says. "You made some cool faces and kept the conversation rolling, which was good. You were easy and straightforward and it was a refreshing change."

I grin. Yay for being refreshing!

"Yeah, I think Peter's got it right," says James. "You're really quite lovely to have around, Sydney. You just don't take the best pictures, which can be overlooked, to a certain extent."

"The personality is what counts and I like yours," says Remus.

"Agreed," says Sirius. "You're taken care of then, ma'am. You can go."

"All right," I say cheerfully. "Thanks, guys!"

I disappear back into the crowd as well, feeling warm and very pleased with myself. So I did do well after all! And I was Peter's favorite! That's always a good thing. Being anyone's favorite is a good thing in this competition.

After me, Alice is called to be judged. Her picture, like the last time, is very good – overall, it seems to work as one picture rather than four. Alice's adjectives, as figured out by Lily, were gentle, affectionate, composed, and bubbly. These words are all quite similar, but Sirius takes great pleasure in pointing out that Alice's photos have a subtle but marked difference between them for us to tell them apart. Peter puts in that the camera loves Alice and James pronounces Alice as a wonderful girl before dismissing her.

Alice is beaming as she rejoins the group, not at all the angry girl she'd been earlier on after her argument with Lily. I wonder if they've made up or if Alice is just choosing to ignore it for the time being, but either way, I know better than to ask.

Now it's Verity's turn. It strikes me odd that Lily is going last for judging, but as with Alice, I know better than to say anything. We look at Verity's pictures, and again, we get our next enormous shock of the evening:

Verity looks _fantastic_.

When I say fantastic, though, I mean honestly fantastic. We figure her adjectives out right away, within thirty seconds, because the words play across so obviously in her face – enigmatic, thoughtful, ardent, and quirky.

For enigmatic, she has positioned herself from the camera in such a way that we get her hair blowing off to the side, taking up much of the shot, while we only see half her face, her cloudy eye looking straight at the lens, cloudy but somehow piercing. It is the face of a true beauty, something nobody would suspect quiet Verity of being.

For thoughtful, she has her hand in her hair and her eyes averted down to the ground, yet still retaining a mellow, pensive sort of intensity that she's so good with. She looks small, almost, in this shot – thin, small, vulnerable, haunted…almost like a recovering anorexic with her big popping collarbones. It's a striking shot, nearly too professional to be one taken by Peter Pettigrew after school the other day.

For ardent, she is looking off to the side, her lips big, soft, and relaxed; her hair is cascading haphazardly down to her shoulders where the bottom of the picture cuts off. The photograph is simple, with her long, delicate fingers reaching towards her shoulder, her hand covering her heart.

Although these three pictures are achingly gorgeous, I can't help but love the quirky picture too, because it's such a stark contrast to the rest. Verity appears to be playing hide-and-seek with the camera, her hands making almost a shield in front of her face; the trick, however, is that her fingers have parted so that we can see her eyes, sly and playful, peering amusedly out at us. She really does have the most expressive eyes I have ever seen in my lifetime.

Taking in at these pictures, I can't seem to get enough of them. Neither can anyone else. Even the Marauders – the loud, carefree, opinionated Marauders of Hogwarts – are flabbergasted. All we can do is stare at the images in front of us, various emotions flashing over each of our faces. Lucille is actually mesmerized, her mouth hanging slightly open, and I feel chills going down my spine as I look at 'enigmatic' again.

No one talks for a long, long time in this classroom – or, at least, that's how it feels to me. But, when we do start talking, James is the one who initiates with a clearing of his throat.

"Verity…" he says, as if he's never seen her before. "Verity, this is incredible."

"You were made to do stuff like this," says Sirius. "Honest – you are just…amazing. I could stare at those for hours."

"You're a natural model, Verity," says Peter. "I confess it, I cheated during the shoot. I took extra photos of each pose. You just nailed it every time – I couldn't resist seeing what else you would do."

"It's art, Verity," says Remus. "I mean, I think I can speak for all of us when I say this, but I don't think there's anything more we can say. We're speechless. That's the biggest compliment we can give you – you're beyond words."

Verity, blushing violently pink, gives them a modest little smile. "Thank you," she says. "I'm really glad you liked them."

She doesn't give them the chance to dismiss her properly – she just slinks back and reclaims her spot, not looking at any of us. This mildly troubles Sirius, who is craning his neck to get a better look at her, but he doesn't say anything. He (and not James) calls Lily up to get judged.

If I'm frank, I feel kind of bad for Lily. After seeing Verity's masterpiece, everyone else would just fall flat. Still, she steps up, unruffled as per her usual, and she waits coolly for her photograph. She does not say hello the Marauders, but Sirius, being Sirius, feels obligated to greet her.

"Hi Lily!" he says. "So how are you?"

"Fine, thank you for asking," she responds mildly.

"Great," says Sirius. "Let's see your best shots then, shall we?"

"We shall," Lily says.

Sirius nods and takes the last photograph from James and puts it up on the wall so we can all see it. We look up, wondering what to expect after the unexpected gem that was Verity, and the final product is a little lukewarm to me. At best, it's a mixed bag.

The guessing begins, and after a few brave attempts led by Alicia (who is clearly enjoying this judging), we discover that Lily chose to do fiery, stubborn, dramatic, and passionate. These words are inter-related, so she didn't have to change her poses much, and she does look all right, but the energy doesn't seem to be as strong as it could have been.

Lily just falls flat, which is peculiar, because she _is _fiery, stubborn, dramatic, and passionate. The only thing seriously wrong with her is that she appears oddly self-conscious – she is not as confident or comfortable as Alicia, or Verity, or Sadie. This can be explained by the fact that this was her first photo-shoot, since she opted out of the first one, but this _is _a competition above all else.

I look to the Marauders for their reaction, and like me, they seem to be conflicted. Sirius in particular appears confused – after so many years of being smacked for criticizing James's affection for Lily, it's difficult for him to figure out what's okay to say and what isn't. Lily waits, her face as if she's daring them to make a move now.

"Wow…erm…Lily, you look…nice…" Sirius tries to say, cocking his head to the side to ponder the picture.

"Well, if you feel _so_ strongly about it," Lily says with complete solemnity.

I smile to myself – regardless of everything, Lily has an amusingly dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

Catching on as I am, no doubt, Sirius tries this again. "No…no, well…erm…"

"I like the last one – passionate, I believe," says Remus fairly, arriving at his friend's rescue. "I think that's the one you got the most into and it shows."

Relieved at this platform, Sirius launches one last effort, saying, "Yeah. The rest of them…you weren't really sure how to work with the camera." He turns his attention to Peter, who is clearly supposed to help this along. Peter starts at this prospect, but rises to the challenge with only a moment's hesitation.

"I noticed that too," he says. "It was hard to get a good shot. You moved too much before I was ready. If you could have had better communication with me, it could have worked out a little better. You seemed to be in a hurry."

"I _was _in a hurry," says Lily.

"Well, there you go, that's what it came across as," says Peter.

The three boys – as well as us seven girls over here – now turn our anxious gazes upon James. James hasn't spoken during this particular judging, but his face has said plenty; the firm, resolute set of his jaw, which means he's tense, and the murky clouds passing over his otherwise-clear hazel irises.

He's in the midst of inconsistency and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why – apple-of-his-eye Evans has done something less than perfect on her quest to win a date with a Marauder (hopefully him) and now he has to call her out on it. They have not been on the best of terms lately, and he probably isn't sure how he feels about her, and criticizing her has always been difficult for him…it's enough to drive any guy up a wall or two. Poor dear.

So, with us looking on, James coughs and says evenly, "Well…I think you tried, which is good, but you didn't know what to do because you didn't do the first photo-shoot with us. I think if you understood how the camera worked a little bit better and figured out your best angles, you would have been able to adapt to the situation and get a better picture. But these aren't as bad as they could've been though."

Well. There's the ultimatum. I think he said it well – complimented her, pointed out what was wrong in a way that didn't make her want to bash his head in, and offered her a way to improve. His tone was pleasant, normal, as if she was any other girl rather than _the _girl. It's a good, solid judgment – Sirius in particular is quite astonished his friend had it in him.

We're even more astonished when Lily – fiery, stubborn, dramatic, and passionate as she is – nods and says, "Thank you, James. I'll take your advice next time we have a photo-shoot."

Then she smiles (though not with her eyes) at the boys and turns on her heel to come back to the group without having to be dismissed.

Very nonchalant. Very calm. Like Verity, Lily is a girl full of surprises.

With judging being over now, the boys dismiss us out to the corridor so they can deliberate which girl will not be coming back for tomorrow's challenge. We settle in by the door, shivering in the intimidating chill of the corridor together, and wondering what could possibly be coming up next.

--

The boys summon us back after several minutes. Alicia reckons this is a bad sign, because the first elimination took a long time, the second one took very little time, and this one is in the middle. We go inside though, and stand in our places in front of James, who is holding a list in his hand, looking grave like he always does when it's time to eliminate one of us. My heart skips a beat at the thought of having to go back so early, but I fight to hold it in.

"I'm going to call the girls with the best photographs first and move my way down," says James, "and the first name I'm going to call is…Verity. Congratulations."

This is not a surprise in the least. In fact, a surprise would have been if anyone but Verity was called up first. It would be a crime not to tell us she kicked our arses this time around; now is when I start tightening up, waiting and praying that they'll call my name and I can stay for another day.

"The next name I'm going to call," James continues, "is Alicia."

Okay, so this wasn't a surprise either, but my muscles refuse to relax. Alicia skips over to join Verity on the side.

"Next is Sadie," he says. "Nice job."

"Fourth is Alice."

Alice joins the beautiful-girls-who-get-to-stay club on the side. I have bite hard on my lip to keep from screaming just out of anticipation. I've been feeling so great for the past few days and my pictures were all right in this challenge – I _should_ stay! I _deserve_ to stay!

"Fifth is Sydney," says James.

Phew. Hallelujah. Thank Merlin. I let out the breath I'd been unconsciously holding inside my chest for the past few minutes and retreat toward the other girls. Now, only Lily, Hannah, and Lucille are standing there. With the exception of Lily, the girls look terrified.

James surveys them silently for a few seconds, still so uncharacteristically somber, and then he says, "Sixth is Lily. Congratulations."

Lily strolls over to the side like she's wandering through a park and stands beside me. She's safe. She's fine. Only the two girls who feel like their futures are riding on this game are left standing there, potentially for the last time.

"Lucille and Hannah, would you please step forward?" requests James in the soft I'm-about-to-break-your-heart-as-sweetly-as-I-possibly-can voice that he's perfected during the course of the past couple of eliminations.

Trembling, Hannah and Lucille step forward and face James, trying to be as cool as they possibly can. It's moments like this when it hits me that James is actually younger than Lucille and this is only a game – but still, I understand that if I'd been in this situation, I'd be on the verge of getting sick all over the floor, so I don't say anything.

"So, Lucille and Hannah, you're both here for very different reasons," he says. "Lucille, you're gorgeous and confident and ready to take over the world. We love that about you, because we ourselves are pretty much the same way. But yesterday, shooting you was not at all fun. You were stiff and frustrating and much less pretty than you have been in the past."

Lucille hangs her head and I feel quite sorry for her, because she's honestly not as bad as some of the girls say she is and this is something she really wanted. But now James turns to Hannah, who resembles an alarmed bunny rabbit by this point.

"Hannah, the reason you're here is because we believed in you and you failed to deliver," says James. "The last time we were at panel two days ago, we gave you another chance and told you to step it up if you wanted this. We can see that you took the advice and attempted to step it up, but you're just not there yet."

The tension hangs over us like an awning, almost tangible in how obvious it is. I'm nervous enough watching it, let alone being part of it. Someone ought to stand behind Hannah to make sure doesn't pass out in a few seconds.

Then –

"So Lucille, that means you'd better lighten up and figure out where that vivacious girl we selected for this competition is and bring her to tomorrow's challenge," says James gently.

Lucille lets out an enormous sob and buries her face in her hand. She knows she didn't stay in by much and gives Hannah an enormous hug before retiring off to the side. Hannah, however, looks like she might burst into tears or something the moment she leaves the room. The Marauders look quite pitying over by their desk – particularly Peter, which is nicely satisfying.

"Thanks for playing, Hannah," says James, hugging Hannah as well. "Sorry it didn't work out."

"T-Thanks for the opportunity," stutters poor Hannah, her nose going pink. "I-I really did e-enjoy it here."

James's smile is understanding and he releases her, allowing her to leave. She turns slowly towards the rest of us, her blue eyes too big and her body too small, a defenseless little mouse looking at us. At once, we girls beckon her over and give her a hug, because we liked Hannah and her quietness. She balanced us out, since she'll never be as flamboyant as some of us (i.e. Alicia) and we will be sad to see her go. I know I would've loved it if Hannah got her date with Peter like she wanted to.

Perhaps another day, she'll buck up the courage to ask him out on her own, without the crutch of a competition prize. I really hope she does. She'd have at least seven other girls rooting her on.

Hannah finishes hugging us and waves to the Marauders. Her eyes linger on Peter for just another second and he does look sorry to see her go. I wonder if she sees that. She tucks her long stringy blonde hair behind her ear and exits out of the classroom door, the third girl eliminated from the competition. Only seven girls remain now.

The Marauders dismiss us and we leave the room together. Alicia's talking again – this time about how much she'll miss Hannah and how much she liked her. I'm slightly astonished at how sincere she sounds, because Alicia never seemed to take to Hannah before. But at the same time, I probably never gave off the same vibe and I know I did rather like her, so I listen to Alicia lament. She's good with opinions and things like that.

So I tag along with Alicia and Sadie (who don't need me but include me anyway, which is nice of them) and we go into the Room of Requirement for a little bit more gossip.

--

A/N: Well…**there you go**. Another chapter. It's been **tough to write lately**, but I got it **done**. Somehow. And I **do hope I didn't break too many hearts **with that elimination!! From now on, **eliminations will be really difficult **because **girls you like ****will**be leaving. But **that's how it is** in real lifeas well…so we'll **deal**.

Side note – pardon my clumsy **French** – that was all **Babblefish**. Teehee!

And coming up next chapter…

A **denial**.  
A _theory_.  
A challenge.  
A _sin_.  
A **few confessions**.

**This** was a bit of a **breather **(and **not a very good one**, sorry!). The next one is a bit of a **lead-up**. The next-next one is where more of the **fun stuff starts**. Yay!


	10. The Girls Who Sin

A/N: This challenge is actually **one of my personal favorites**, so this chapter was **a blast **to write. I also get a chance to **advance the LJ **here, which is nice. Lily has generally been **kept to the sidelines **or **portrayed as an aloof bitch**, and **that's not fair**. She's got **things to say **this chapter and **she** **will**** say them**.

In other news, I am **never using Babblefish ever again for translations**. Some readers who knew French pointed out that it **doesn't work **and I have **learned my lesson**. So **sorry** about that.

And **do keep pointing out my little mistakes **so I can go back and fix them. An error in **Chapter 8 was recently fixed **(thanks, Nath). Guys, I'm **not perfect** and it's definitely **okay **to tell me so.

Otherwise, **thank you **for all the support you've bestowed upon me; and **really, I hope you enjoy this**.

Cheers.  
Xx

--

**Alice Prewitt**

--

Once we're out of the classroom post-elimination, I walk with Lily to the Room of Requirement with the other girls. They're all quite chatty as we go, Alicia telling Sydney and Sadie something about how sorry she is that Hannah's gone and Lucille babbling anxiously to Verity about how shocking it is that she was in the bottom two.

Lily and I mostly remain quiet until we open the door into our little dormitory and settle in on my bed. As usual, we're not going to join Alicia and her group – we stretch out and get comfortable, our communication currently without words but subject to change very soon.

Lily is subdued tonight, her green eyes like flat butterbeer, and the first thing I do is ask her softly, "Hey, love, are you all right?"

She sighs a deep sigh, one of those rare, vulnerable sighs she releases when she feels softer than she wants to – I can hear traces of slight self-disgust in the one exhale of air.

"Yes, I'm fine," she says.

"And because this is the response you gave me, I assume you know that I'm not going to believe you and ask you if you want to talk anyway," I say. "Lils, honestly, _talk _to me. I want to know what's going through that twisted brain of yours."

The thing I love about Lily is that as irrational and pig-headed as she is more than capable of being, she (usually) does know where to draw the line and soften up, let her guard down, and look at me with those beseeching green eyes of hers before sighing deeply again. She does this now, broken down to her elements, laid out before me in the middle of the Room of Requirement.

"I…can't talk because _I _don't even know what's going on in my head right now," she murmurs in an undertone so that someone like, say, Alicia, doesn't overhear her. "It's…weird, being here. Weirder than I imagined. It's so out of my comfort zone."

"That's what it's meant to do," I explain gently. "You're not supposed to be feeling comfortable. The Marauders are pushing you. I don't think they intended to, but they're really trying to not only figure us out themselves, but help us figure ourselves out too. They accidentally stumbled upon something bigger than a chance to date one of them."

Lily chews her lip, hugging her knees into her chest and not allowing our gazes to waver. "I dunno. It's all pretty bloody stupid. I'm not enjoying it." Her sentiments are so harsh compared to her open, exposed expression. I try to take this in and figure out the best way to phrase my answer.

"Well…there's a reason you find it so bloody stupid," I say. "It's because this competition is scaring you. A lot."

"Oh don't you go all psycho-analyst on me," Lily protests scornfully, closing up just a little. "Alice, you are not my psychologist!"

"Maybe not, but I'm the closest thing to a psychologist that you've got, and this is valuable information," I say, far too accustomed to Lily's antics to take them seriously. "You're deflecting. This competition is scaring you, but it's an internal and highly embarrassing pain you've got, and talking about it could unearth emotions you don't want to examine. I totally understand that."

Lily stares at me, though with surprise or resentment or sudden fear I can't say. She always looks at me like this when I stumble too close to her hidden truths – like she can't believe I am observant enough to pick up on things she works so hard to keep from me.

Little does she know that she is the only one I can do this for – with anyone else, I can't figure them out with this _exact _type of precision.

"Alice, you're mad," she finally says, even though she can also probably tell that this is a very half-hearted swat at my amazing abilities. "You…you're mad. Just bloody mad."

I pat her shoulder understandingly as Alicia lets out a hoot of laughter from her bed. "I know. But first you have to answer me a very important question."

"Let me guess – you want to know how I feel after my less-than-fantastic critique at panel tonight?" Lily suggests, arching her eyebrow.

"Ah…so close, but alas, wrong," I say sympathetically. "But you're close – I was going to ask you how you feel about James Potter tonight."

Lily gives a huge, almighty exhale, blowing her bangs almost to the top of her head. The irritation and slightly manic anxiety is almost tragically obvious in her face as she grasps for straws.

"Of _course _you want to know how I feel about James Potter!" she proclaims. "You _always _want to know how I feel about James Potter! You know why you always want to know how I feel about James Potter?"

"Yes, dear, do tell," I say politely.

"Because you love Frank!" Lily explodes, so loudly that some of the girls by Alicia glance curiously at us. "You have this enormously big crush on Frank and since you're far too terrified to tell him how you feel about him, you're attempting to get _me _to buck up and get what you think will make me happy!"

I am silent. Lily continues, "Well, you know what, you're wrong. I am not going to be your distraction anymore. I _don't love James Potter_, and you need to remember that, adhere to that, and stop bothering me about it. My opinion isn't going to change."

Wow. This is certainly unexpected. I can't help but stay quiet for a second or two because never did I dream Lily would twist my words into something that came back around to slap me right in the face. I mean, it's not altogether a foreign concept for someone like Lily, but the fact that she brought it to life so sharply and unexpectedly certainly threw my head for a spin.

However, because it's Lily and I know her tactics, I recover pretty quickly and change my argument ever so slightly.

"Well, since you're so against _that _question – how about this one?" I inquire. "Why did you actually give this competition a chance this time around? Why did you try if it was so bloody stupid to you?"

"B-Because–" sputters Lily.

"Yes?"

She sputters a little more, beginning sentences and then starting over, but after a few unsuccessful attempts, she knows as well as I do that she doesn't have a good answer for this question. She gives up and I do my best not to gloat. Instead, I give her a look of understanding (I, of all people, know how it is to have so many conflicting emotions for a boy inside of me that I can't even control) and I rest my hand on her arm. She softens up all over again on me and I'm grateful for it, sadistic as that may sound to passerby.

"Look, Lils," I begin as sweetly as I can. "I know it's tough for you, having to give a guy you are determined to hate something as easy to abuse as a chance. But you know, James really does deserve one – he is a good kid and you don't hate him."

For once, Lily doesn't argue. She just looks at me.

I go on, "This competition…it only scares you because it brings out everything you don't like to think about. As feisty as you are, you are still human – you enjoy the idea that those four boys find you beautiful. But, since you _are _still feisty, you think it's embarrassing to be flattered, so you're trying to cover it up and hide behind your abundant sarcasm. It may work on mere mortals, love, but it won't work on me. I know you far too well."

Lily purses her lips, her eyes dark, clearly pondering how to throw this back in my face. The fact that she has think of another battle strategy is satisfying enough for me.

I say, "James is cute, Lily. And he's very charming, despite what you say otherwise. It's okay to love him."

Personally, I've never understood Lily's stubborn refrain of James Potter being a horrible person. He isn't. I actually rather like him, although not in that way, never in that way. Sure, he's a little feisty, but Lily's just as feisty if not more so – in fact, preciously little separates him from her.

They are both misguided, obstinate, charismatic, tenacious, intelligent, and emotional people who enjoy making a scene when they feel like things are getting boring. They both possess endless witty quips and a life to them that makes people like Alicia seem so shallow and disappointingly small – like glitter next to a hearty wildfire.

Forget light vanquishing darkness – in this case, darkness _needs _more darkness. Lily thrives in his company, in their sharp, tension-filled banter that no one else can keep up with. James thrives in everything about her – her quirkiness, her silliness, her inability to open up when the time most demands it. They're perfect together. They would make magic – real magic, not the type made with wands. That is, they would if Lily let them, which she won't at present.

I gaze at my best friend, silenced by this conversation, and I see I'm hitting sore spots here. She's been thinking about this for a while and she's not comfortable enough to talk about it. But I think she should be – I mean, I _know _what this is doing to her, of course I do, but I also think that she's being a baby. There's a time to lie down and think and a time to brainstorm with someone you trust; and now is the time for Lily to sit up, get her thumb out of her mouth, and talk to me like the adult she is so close to being.

"So Lily, answer me," I say. "Are you all right?"

Lily takes a few breaths, but she knows this tone of mine, and she says, "No. I'm not all right. But I can tell you that I don't like James. I just…I don't. Is it so impossible for people to believe that a guy and a girl who hate each other actually hate each other?"

I sigh. "There's no real answer to that question," I say. "It's all determined on the individual couple. With some people, they do hate each other. With others – like you and James – it becomes clear that you don't. Trust me; if you saw the way the way you two act in public, you wouldn't doubt this."

"But I'm _not _on the outside, am I?" says Lily. "I'm on the inside. I'm here. This is my life you're trying to meddle with. I don't love this boy! This isn't some romantic film or novel or something where they hate each other a while and then decide to throw it all away to snog in an abandoned cupboard. This is _me_. Me as a person, me as a woman. If I don't like him, there's no way for you to magically force us together."

"I'm not forcing you together," I say. "I'm simply trying to get you to realize that you love him. Because you do. Other than yourself, I know you better than anyone in the world. I've seen you in and out of relationships for the past few years and this isn't something to toss out as a schoolchildren's war. It's special. You know he means something to you."

"He doesn't," she says shortly. "He never has."

"Maybe you should give this a go," I say. "I mean, honestly, how bad could it be, dating James Potter?"

"Oh, you know _exactly_ how bad it would be," Lily says, low and flat, resting her cheek on her knee, her eyes now facing away from me. "I mean…at the beginning it would be fun and interesting and we'd go along at break-neck speed – he would be interesting, I would be another challenge, and we would coexist in a state of constant tension and drama and chaos as we get to know each other. Then later, his obsession with competition would just become annoying and then all the challenge I presented will be used up, so we'd become tired of each other, annoyed that this isn't working as it should've…which would usher in the inevitable break-up, when we acknowledge that as golden as we might seem, we aren't, and it's time to throw in the towel, give up this stupid game. Then I'd get pissed on firewhiskey and I'd be depressed and…I'd be hurt. Badly. End of fairytale."

I blink. "Well, obviously you haven't given this too much thought before," I say.

Lily snorts. "You know what I mean," she says. "It's…it's bound to happen. I don't want to become an old newspaper or something to him. Relationships mean something to me – I give my all, you know? I don't want to give my all to someone I'm well aware is only temporary."

"Lils, if this is about getting yourself hurt, you already know what I'm going to say," I tell her. "Whatever pain you're afraid of, it's not worth missing out on him. He adores you, but he won't be waiting forever."

"Of course not," she says. "That's why we're here, aren't we? He's moving on. He's looking at photographs of girls who are tripping over themselves to get noticed. He's looking to date the winner of this competition – if they'll let him."

"But you're in the running," I point out. "If he wanted to get over you, he wouldn't have made sure you were in the final list. He wouldn't have worked so hard to keep you here, even when you started making his life difficult. He believes in you, Lils – in his own way, he's telling you that now, he's taking his last gamble on you. It's now or never; you have to let him know how you feel about him."

Lily is silent. Again. Call me mad, but we seem to have a lot of awkward, thoughtful silences when we discuss James Potter. And, call me madder, but I think they might be because for once in her logical life, Lily Evans has finally found someone who makes no sense to her but appeals to her anyway.

I smile slightly and gently tuck her hair back behind her ear. "I'm not saying you have to do anything right this second," I say, "but keep it in mind. Remember what I'm saying. He's giving you time. Use it and don't screw this up."

"How do I not do that?" Lily's voice is taut, strained. "I always screw things up."

"This isn't the time to get self-doubtful on me," I say. "James picked you for a reason. He has invested a lot of time to show you he thinks you won't screw this up."

Lily pulls her knees in tighter and I can tell this conversation is over, it won't go any farther tonight. But I'm not sorry; I got some good points in. She's starting to get it. Slowly, painstakingly, and in her own quiet Lily way, but she's getting it. That's more than I could've asked for.

Nodding slightly to her, I pick up my bag and set it down beside me, extracting a few of my textbooks. Lily takes my cue and jumps up to get her own bag, settling in on her own bed next to mine, unrolling parchment covered with her neat, bubbly cursive.

With the babble going on around us as a soundtrack or a radio, we work, silently but mutually agreeing that despite everything, life must surely go on.

--

After another long day of lessons and schoolwork, Lily and I prepare for our latest challenge, which will take place tonight. We gather as a group as per usual in the corridor in front of the Room of Requirement and, also as per usual, the topic of conversation is what our challenge could possibly be.

"There are seven of us, a lucky number," notes Sadie. "I think it could be something very special."

"That's right! Merlin, Sadie, you're so bloody clever," marvels Alicia, making Sadie blush. "Yes. I think that's it. It'll be something very special. Something dealing with the number seven. What deals with the number seven?"

"I dunno…stars, maybe?" Sydney suggests lamely.

"Could be," Alicia says noncommittally. "But what else? C'mon, you lot…if we brainstorm and someone comes up with the right challenge, I'll take you out for butterbeer or something when I get the money."

At the mention of money, the great equalizer, Lucille's interest is caught and she starts brainstorming with Sydney, Alicia, and Sadie. Verity chooses not to participate, preferring to loiter about, her eyes as cloudy as ever, expression mild. I always wonder what that girl is thinking – she always looks so mysterious.

I look to Lily to see if she's in the mood to talk, but she isn't; she is far too quiet today. Obviously, I think I know why, but I don't want to push her. I don't want to shove her into anything at all – that wouldn't be right. I have to give her prods when she starts looking helplessly into all directions, but other than that, I'm hands off.

Like she said herself, it's her life. I can only advise, the rest is up to her.

So, because Lily isn't in the chatty mood and I'm not quite in the enduring-mindless-speculation-on-something-I'll-get-information-on-in-five-minutes banter, I observe, like Verity is; and to be frank, us girls from afar can be a pretty frightening thing.

I mean, for one thing, there's me and Lily. We look like social pariahs, lingering and being antisocial away from everyone else. Then there's Verity, gazing off into the distance like she's about to Apparate away from here in three seconds. Then there's the main group of loud girls – Lucille hanging on the edge like a moth, Sydney shyly going along with things because that's all she knows how to do, Alicia leading the whole party and enjoying the limelight, Sadie drinking in Alicia-rays as if they're actually worth having (I will never figure out why she does that – doesn't she know better?).

We're a motley group and only now do I realize that, after three eliminations, we're only seven girls left. The group is beginning to shrink noticeably. I wonder when it'll be my time to go home – or Lily's.

With a sigh, I lean my head back against the wall and stare at the ceiling, staring at the haphazard patterns of gray stones above me, until I hear the familiar chirp of, "Good evening, ladies."

At once, my head snaps up and I find that the Marauders are here (minus Remus, which isn't uncommon), James grinning with his signature impishness, waiting for us. I smile as sweetly as I can in their presence – because after all, in their eyes, I'm just Alice the Sweetheart.

"Hey Jamie," says Alicia cheerfully. "How are you?"

"'M good, myself," says James, winking. "Thanks for asking."

Alicia laughs, and Sirius cuts in, "All right then, we've had our Alicia-and-James-flirting quota for the evening, thanks. We're here for a job and damnit, we're going to get our job _done_!"

Peter blushes, a guilty expression on his face, and all of a sudden, Sirius explodes into giggles. "Sorry, sorry, not _that _way," he amends, winking just as James had.

Now the dirty double-meaning dawns on us and Alicia and James explode into similar giggles, while the rest of us give a few sarcastic ha-ha's. Lily doesn't say anything and in this case, I'm glad she didn't.

"You're awful!" Alicia weeps. "But either way, let's get your job done, shall we? What are we doing today?"

"Good question, Alicia," says James approvingly. The smile on his face is so warm, so goofy, that Lily and I exchange smirks. "What we're doing today is another photo-shoot."

"This time, however, the theme will be the seven sins," reveals Peter with an enormous grin. "Each of you has been assigned a specific sin and you will be portraying it for us today in front of the camera. Exciting, huh?"

Interest runs high throughout us, including me too, admittedly. The seven sins! That's quite creative, to be honest. Our outfits (knowing the Marauders, their extravagance, and their not-so-unusual knack of getting astonishing favors from people) are probably going to be gorgeous; I can't help but instantly wonder which sin the boys assigned for me.

I glance at Lily. She doesn't look sullen anymore, but otherwise, I can't be sure how she feels about this. I'll have to worm an answer out of her somehow in a few minutes.

"We should have our girl-maintenance girls coming soon…I thought I told them bloody seven…" Sirius cranes his neck to crossly inspect the corridor to see if his little victims are here yet. Then his face bursts into an enormous smile.

"Oh, here they are!" he says. "OI! GIRLS! OVER HERE!"

Alicia pretends to be extremely disgruntled by Sirius's shouting – playing in a bit of a pantomime with James and Peter but mostly James – but the rest of us are far too accustomed to Sirius's shouting to give it much thought. The four girls hurry their steps and appear before us, pink from the running and the embarrassment.

"Sorry, Sirius," says Penny. "We were just checking up on the outfits in the classroom you told us you'd be using."

"And I had to bring make-up," adds Bella, holding up the bulky make-up box that has made an appearance more than once before. "It's so bloody heavy."

"Wonderful, you're here," says Sirius, ignoring all this. "So…we just explained the basic concept behind today's shoot…which means you four, along with those seven, can go and get everything ready while we wait with the camera!"

"Sounds good." Penny nods and leads Bella and the other two whose names I don't know along down the corridor they'd just come from. Bella grumbles a little as she hauls the box in her arms, but otherwise, she doesn't say anything else. Sirius, regretting nothing, beams away at us.

"Well, what are you waiting for? We don't have anything else to tell you," he says. "Go follow them."

We girls start and follow directions, trooping after the third-years to our getting-ready station. This is the cue for us to start eagerly discussing the challenge. Lucille, from what I hear of her rapid monologue to Verity, is ready and willing to prove herself to the Marauders this week. Alicia is also quite excited.

"This is great!" she chirps. "I love pictures. They're absolutely hysterical. I wonder what my sin is going to be."

"Lust, most likely," Lily says dryly to my ear, not bothering to keep her voice down in case Alicia hears her. "She's the biggest flirt I've ever seen in my life. When she does it, it _should _be a sin."

Okay, so Lily doesn't like Alicia very much. She keeps it quiet because she's not in the mood to pick more fights than she needs in this competition (i.e. she wants to focus her energies on James, not Alicia) but Alicia is a lot of the things Lily dislikes both about herself and the world in general.

Alicia is quirky, something Lily prides herself on being. Alicia is funny, but not in the way Lily likes it – she's crude, raw, hysterical, while Lily prefers the wry, intelligent type of humor. Alicia is also someone who attracts all kinds of attention, both wanted and unwanted. Lily is one of those people who think that the limelight should be under the control of the beholder – which means she only wants it when she's ready for it. Watching Alicia steal it all the time no matter what annoys Lily.

It's not the most rational of hates (Lily is famous for them) but she harbors it, and seeing Alicia twitter about James Potter, the one person who holds all these contradictions she can't balance, throws her farther over the edge than she would like to go.

Thankfully for all of us, though, Alicia doesn't hear Lily's comment and continues her conversation with Sadie. She says, "I think all the sins can be really funny, so I don't think I'd care what they give me…but if I had to choose, I'd want lust. It would be the most fun to shoot."

Lily catches my eye and then makes a face that makes me want to scream with laughter. As irrational as she may be, Lily at least is very good at understanding people head-on.

"What sin would you two want?" Alicia asks, addressing Sadie and Sydney.

"Erm…I dunno," says Sadie. "Anything, really. Lust would be easy, but I think I'd enjoy one of the more obscure, odd ones. Gluttony, maybe…wrath might be interesting."

"I dunno – sins are awful no matter how you look at them, so you're not going to see me signing up to bring one to life any time soon," says Sydney.

"Yeah, but this is all in fun," says Alicia. "They're not making you live your life by that sin. You just have to take a good picture."

"I know, but still," Sydney says resolutely. "Sinning is wrong. The shoot is ingenious and attention-grabbing, I must admit it, but that doesn't mean I still agree wholeheartedly with it."

"You're so boring," complains Alicia. "It's a bit of fun! None of us are perfect. Sins are just a part of life. You take it and move on the best you can."

"No," Sydney insists. "Maybe they're a part of life, but you should do your best to limit them."

"Are you religious, by any chance?" Alicia wants to know.

"Yes," says Sydney.

"Well, I'm not, so I think the whole sinning thing is a little silly," says Alicia. "Why would some

Almighty Presence up there care if we steal a quill, or say something bad about someone, or make some mischief?"

"What else is there to care about, Alicia?" asks Sydney.

"Nothing! That's my point!" says Alicia. "It's just…this is life. You take it and you live it and whatever happens will happen. There's no one up there who's going to change it. What you do here won't make a difference when you die – good or bad."

"Fine, then if that's how you see it, why would you want to do bad things while you're here?" Sydney counters. "Why would you want to leave a negative legacy?"

"I want to leave a legacy that I don't regret," Alicia says firmly. "I'm not advocating mass-murder or kicking puppies in your free time or anything, but if I want to go out and have a bit of fun, mess around a little, I will. Sins, if they happen, are irrelevant to me. I have my own ethics code that I follow. I don't need some random book to dictate it for me."

Obviously, Sydney does not agree with this viewpoint in the least, but because it's Alicia, she purses her lips shut and doesn't say anything else. Sadie, bobbing beside Alicia and looking very lost, shrinks back and continues walking with Alicia, not saying anything. Lucille looks on with interest – and, for once, so does Verity. Only Lily turns the corner and enters our classroom without a single care in the world, which is hardly surprising.

Lily isn't the most religious person on the planet, but she still thinks Alicia is annoying, no matter what her beliefs are. Me personally, I don't mind her – I think she's harmless and occasionally kind of cute – but I obviously shouldn't say that in front of Lily.

Now that we are in the classroom, we instantly catch sight of the clothes waiting patiently for us on hangers. We are about to make a run for them, but Penny (clearly the leader of this group) holds us back.

"No," she says firmly. "I have a list from James that tells me what each of you is supposed to wear. Stand still and I'll give you your outfit."

I think it's kind of awkward to take orders from a thirteen-year-old – and I am one-hundred percent positive I am not the only one who thinks so – but the six other girls and I hold our ground as Penny clears her throat and shows us a sleek green ensemble designed to leave very little of the wearer's body-shape to the imagination (no doubt selected by Sirius or James).

"This is for Lucille," she informs us all. "You are going to be Envy."

Lucille surveys her outfit critically, but accepts it and retreats to a corner to change. Alicia giggles slightly. Penny now extracts another outrageous deeply navy ensemble designed perhaps to frighten everybody else off.

"This is for Alice," she says. "You are going to be Pride."

Sweet Merlin, I sincerely hope she's joking.

I stand there a few seconds, staring at that hideous thing, hoping that she's going to check her list and say, 'Whoops, never mind, this is actually a mistake and Alice has something else.' Penny does not say this. In fact, she reprimands me for not paying attention and thrusts the outfit into my hands, going back to her list. I am speechless.

Lily, at least, gets a good laugh at my expense. "Wow," she says. "It looks like someone put this up on a board and threw blueberries at it for _hours_."

"Ha. Ha. You are hilarious, Lily," I retort, grimacing. "Eurgh…"

I retreat to my own corner to get dressed. I really hope I can make this work, somehow, because clearly my outfit is not going to be helping me. Was Sirius involved with the outfit selection, or did he just pick them all at random with his eyes shut? I wriggle into my clothes miserably, hoping I look better than I think I do.

Penny rattles off names and sins and gives out the pieces, barking at us like a hotel manager or something, and then sets up the make-up with Bella, Mary, and Sara. They are waiting for us to change so they can do our make-up.

Naturally, Lucille is finished first and gets her make-up done by Sara. She's naturally thin and struts like a peacock, so the green Envy outfit works for her body. I finish after her and get my make-up done by Mary. My face looks quite good now, actually, which is a bit of a blessing considering how the rest of me has been done up. I might have to join Lily on a Marauder hunt one day for this one.

Once Mary's through with me, I approach Lily to show her how awful I look – but the words I half-planned to say die off in my throat the moment I get a look at her disgruntled expression and her outfit. I have to bite my lips to keep from laughing.

Poor Lily has been stuck with the most obvious (and ironic) of choices – Lust. She is wearing a short, deep red corset-dress that looks suspiciously like only a corset. It compliments her bright red hair and exposes her long legs quite nicely, but otherwise, it's horrible. It's actually worse than mine – because at least I don't look like a hooker. I pat her bare shoulder, still on the verge of hysteria.

"Erm…you look…lovely," I say.

"So do you," she snaps sourly, looking me over.

"Better this than…that," I say, gesturing to her corset. Lily's face darkens even more, if it's possible.

"You're right," she says. "Merlin. Why are we doing this again? Who picked these?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I say, "but we're going to have to suck it up and deal with it, I suppose."

"We don't _have _to," says Lily. "We are, after all, citizens of this school that possess the power to say no if we so desire."

"Don't go all hoity-toity on me," I say.

"Hoity-toity? How can I be hoity-toity when I'm wearing a bloody corset?" Lily demands.

"You'd be surprised," I say. "You're acting like a prostitute getting offended by someone trying to grope her arse – it's silly. Suck it up and deal."

"I should walk out," she mumbles.

"But you won't."

"I should, though."

I sigh. "We let these boys get away with more than they ought to."

"That's exactly my point!"

"Give up, Lils," I say. "Let it go. Take the pictures, get them judged and move on."

"You are such a pacifist," she accuses me.

"Maybe, but I mean, a game isn't any fun if you don't take a few risks, step out of your comfort zone," I remind her. "I would never dream of doing this on my own, but sometimes…it takes a little push and an outlandish risk to get to something extraordinary."

"But it's stupid," says Lily.

"Most things are stupid," I say. "That's half the reason why we do them anyway. Blame the human condition, not me."

Lily has no response to this, so she and I sit on the side together as the other girls get done with make-up. Lucille, being overeager as ever, leaves first for her photo-shoot, which leaves me, Lily, Alicia, Sydney, Sadie, and Verity behind to sit in a circle together in the middle of the room. They all look much better than I do – their outfits are a little more traditional, with the exception of Alicia, who is Gluttony, and gets to wear a fat-suit. Since we are getting to be fewer and fewer, it's kind of nice relaxing together as a group.

"This is going to be so much fun," says Alicia, "but Lily, oh my goodness, you look so great."

"Thank you," says Lily. I know her well enough to catch that slight layer of sarcasm under her pleasant tone, but I don't think anyone else heard it. I stifle a grin.

"Your outfit is bloody adorable," continues Alicia. "You know, we ought to switch."

"Well, now the make-up and everything is already done, so that's probably not the most logical thing we could do at this point," says Lily sweetly.

"You're right," says Alicia. "Besides, James probably picked Lust especially for you."

Lily is caught off-guard by this, but no one else is; because after all, come on, how could we _not _jump automatically to that conclusion, given everything we know?

"Excuse me?" asks Lily.

"You know what I mean," says Alicia. "He likes you. Lust is your territory."

"He likes you too," points out Lily, frostiness entering her words.

"Yeah, but I'm just…me. You're _Lily Evans_, for Merlin's sake!" Alicia is bewildered that she has to explain this in such plain terms. "Don't play the stupid card on me; I _know _you know what I'm talking about."

No, no, sadly, Lily prefers not to know anything at all. Alicia now has that look on her face – the impish, ready-to-mess-around face that she has mastered so well – and I figure that the following conversation is not going to be one I want to take part in. I edge away from the group as subtly as I can and turn my ears off as Lily and Alicia begin to converse, choosing to loiter by the door until Lucille returns.

She can't come back fast enough. The moment I see Lucille approaching from the corner, I run at her and ask her which room to go to. She tells me, slightly confused, and sends me on my way. I flee the scene and tumble into the Marauders' classroom, breathless.

"Hi, Alice," says Sirius. "Wow, that was fast. You were that excited to shoot today?"

"Yeah, definitely, that's it," I say, clearing my throat.

Sirius grins. "Alice, you are such a cutie."

I give him a little curtsy and all three boys chuckle, appreciative of my humor. James surveys my outfit, wrinkling his nose ever so slightly as he judges it.

"Alice, love, are you sure that's the dress Penny said you needed?" he asks.

"Yes," I say, "and that was my exact reaction too when she gave it to me."

James sighs. "I am never letting Peter pick the dresses again."

"Hey, don't be mean!" protests Peter. "I was not given a good photograph of that dress when I was getting it from Hogsmeade – it was misleading!"

"The ones I picked probably look wonderful," says Sirius. "We'll see once Alicia, Sydney, and Lily come in. I should get dress duty more than Wormy does, Prongs."

Aha, so Lily's corset _was _Sirius's doing! I knew it. But honestly, if these are the kinds of clothes they pick for us, I'd rather them let Remus do the shopping. It would probably be safer.

"I think you ought to shut up and let us start shooting now, Sirius," says James. "Ready for this, Alice?"

I pull the haughtiest look I can, pretending I am Alicia, Queen of the Hormonal Teenage Boys, looking over my kingdom. I angle my face upward to make myself look a little taller. Peter snaps the shot and Sirius whistles.

"Alice! Damn! You are the best Pride person ever!" he whoops.

I keep my smile elusive. "Thanks, Sirius," I say. "Now what are you waiting for? Let's get our job _done_!"

Sirius rolls his eyes jokingly at me, while James laughs at the allusion and Peter grins, clicking the camera and obliging with pleasure.

--

A/N: So there you go…another chapter. Only **12 **more to go until the end. But I think, with all the events in this chapter, it's **important to tell you **that **Alicia will be our next narrator. **From what you all are telling me, some of you **like her **and more of you **don't**. For now, all I can say is **take a deep breath **and **her POV will help you understand her a little better**.

And coming up next chapter…

An **explosion**.  
A _surprise_.  
A revelation.  
A _broken girl_.  
An **elimination**.

It's going to be **fun**, guys. The next two chapters are **drama**, _drama_, drama. And **Chapter 13 will excite you** muchly. And I have **more **_**DRAMA **_afterward that will take us to the end of the story. So keep **reading** and _**reviewing**_ so I can keep churning these chapters out!


	11. And Then There Were 6

A/N: My goodness…some of you just **make me want to curl up and hide **at times, you know that? You're **too damn nice to me**. I really **don't deserve **the honor of your compliments. I'm **just an insane high school sophomore tinkering with fictional characters** – I am so touched that you guys are **enjoying this silly little thing **as much as you are.

I can tell you're into it – some of you analyze my characters for me and bring up things about them that I didn't even think about! I like that though; it means you're engaged. Your opinions are all so different and I quite enjoy finding out about them.

This chapter **should be informative**. I've been **dying to let you get to know Alicia better**. Now I have the chance. Let's **hope I don't screw it up**. She's **a complicated girl** and I **don't think you guys know her very well** just yet. But you will **soon **– in this chapter and some later ones. Although I **can't say this will change your opinion of her entirely**.

Enjoy.  
Xx

--

**Alicia Harrison**

--

After the challenge is over for the night, and we are all set to go back to the Room of Requirement, I find myself quite…bewildered.

Yes. That's the word for it. I feel bewildered.

I had the most interesting conversation with Lily Evans while waiting for my photo-shoot. Her friend Alice flew off the first moment she could when she saw us getting to it, but really, it was an interesting conversation. We talked about Lily and James's relationship – and how James likes her.

And that's what's got me so bewildered – Lily's reaction to the idea of James still liking her.

Okay. So maybe I'm an outsider to their situation. To be frank, I was never very close to James until now, which makes me completely new to the Lily-loves-James-and-she-doesn't-love-him-back scenario. And from what I see, it doesn't make any sense.

James loved Lily, but at the end of last year, Lily told him off soundly and put him in his place. She never liked him. Then, this year, James 'stopped' liking Lily and Lily still hates him, even though she looks like a beetroot with carrots hanging off her scalp when she's around him. From what I can tell, James and Lily are both in love and neither of them think that it would work out because the other person doesn't like them.

How twisted is that?

Lily kept insisting the whole time I was talking to her that James was in love with me. This came as news to me. She thinks James is in love with me? _Me_? Clearly, the girl is a little off her rocker, because James doesn't love me. It's the other way around – not that he'd ever know, or anything.

I mean, yeah, all right, we talk. A lot. And laugh. And flirt. But seriously, that's how it goes with me and every guy I've ever known. I am just naturally like this – I tease – but people can always tell it's not for real. James knows. I know he knows. I hang out with guys all the time and I can tell when they fancy me and when they don't and James…James definitely falls into the category of not fancying me.

Laughing with a girl, and chatting with a girl, and calling her the wonderfully idiotic name 'Delicia' doesn't mean you're in love with that girl. It just means you think she's cute, which doesn't seem like it but truly is completely different.

Trust me. I know how this works; and James doesn't love me.

And yet Lily Evans, probably the cleverest girl in our year, thinks he does.

No.

Not at all.

As I mentioned, it's the other way around.

For me, I've never really wanted a boyfriend. I am fully aware of the reputation I have for being a ditzy slut, messing around with the guys during the day and banging them all in turn in unused classrooms at night. I know what they say about me. But that doesn't make any of it true. I have never gone out with or slept with any of the guys I spend my time with. We're just not like that.

I bond with guys on an instinctual level, but they're not romantic creatures, most of them. They just don't care enough. Their lives chase the next joke, the next high. I can understand that, so I join in, and they treat me like I belong there. That's fine with me – I love being friends, but I don't want anything more – and I thought I was always going to live my life being 'one of the guys,' until I met James Potter for real.

He's the kind of guy any girl would love to date. He's romantic, funny, sweet, adorable, and thoughtful. He can tell when you're down. The other day, I was struggling with something we'd done in Charms, and James saw me in the library working on it and getting frustrated. Instead of taking me down to the lake and tickling the Giant Squid to make me laugh, he actually sat me down and helped me with it.

He was lovely. He was sensational. I looked at him and I thought for the first time in my life, I want that boy.

But then I see Lily Evans, the girl he is still completely infatuated with, and I think, "That's my competition? No way in hell am I beating her."

Lily is an intellectual who looks you in the eye and knows exactly what's coming out of her mouth. She's a cute girl. A funny girl. A quirky girl. She's the girl every guy wants (I know enough of them) and she's in love with the guy every girl wants. They are meant to be. If some Upper Power really did exist up there, He/She would want them to be together; that's how awesome they are when they're around each other. I was never meant to intrude on their bond, no matter how much I wish Lily would disappear and leave me James, _James_.

In a world without Lily, James would be mine. I really think so. I wouldn't let any other girl near him. But as it is, Lily's here, and I can't do anything about it except watch in disbelief as this girl, this legend, this presence, denies to me that she and James are anything at all. And then tells me I belong with him.

She doesn't know anything. She's so deluded. When she sits on her princess cloud every day and looks down upon us regular people, she sure seems to be missing a lot.

This argument weighs down on my mind a lot as I walk out of the Room of Requirement after a really fun photo-shoot in a fat suit making stupid faces that cracked up Sirius. I'm quieter than I was when I walked in. Sadie (who practically worships me, bless her!) notices and Sydney (who also kind of worships me) sort of does too, but Sadie has stories to tell and Sydney has her own to add, so all I have to do is smile and laugh and agree convincingly – a skill I've perfected as boys tell me about their most disgusting encounters and expect me to be impressed.

As usual, I look around and find that I am still the most animated person around all of us. Alice and Lily are talking in undertone again, probably about something secret and amazing and totally fabulous that I'm not privy to. Verity is floating about and not talking to anybody, which is admittedly not unusual. Lucille – that irksome little prat Lucille – is trying to eavesdrop on what I'm saying because she knows I am the loudest person here.

I seem to attract a lot of people, but unfortunately, not all of them are worth having around; so I ignore her and listen to Sydney (who portrayed Greed) talk about how hard it was to portray Greedy convincingly. I only listen to half of what she's saying, though, because my own thoughts are so…ridiculously all-consuming.

"…I just hope I did all right," Sydney is feverishly saying with Sadie looking on with sympathy. "It's been a rough competition, but I don't want to go back. Not yet."

"Mhmm," I say, trying to copy Sadie's expression.

"You probably did great, Alicia," Sydney says gloomily. "You're so good at this. Boys adore you."

"You just have to clown around a lot and boys will be happy to have you around," I say. "It's not as hard as you think. Make him believe you can strut your stuff and there you go. It's all about the confidence. Why do you think this competition is the way it is? The Marauders want a girl who is bold and unafraid of doing the mad things they ask of them."

Sydney ponders this as we reach the Room of Requirement, but she doesn't say much more on the subject. As usual, I collapse on my bed (mostly because I feel I am close to crashing-point after a bloody long day) and also as usual, the crowd gathers around me.

It always freaks me out when people do this – they expect me to lead them or something, from the way they stare up at me – but at the same time, I have to admit it's fun to be noticed.

Tonight is no different. Sadie settles in by my side, Sydney is close by, Verity harmlessly listens in from the side, Lucille keeps a careful distance so that she's involved but not part of the group officially. Lily and Alice couldn't care less and don't come here – which is sad, because Lily is an absolutely fascinating human being that I would love to get to know further.

Still, I am unable to think about this as fully as I want, because Sadie and Sydney are looking at me like a posse waiting for the leader to show them what's cool tonight. I have no choice but to breathe some kind of excitement into them; so I ask one of the burning questions on my mind right now:

"So girls," I ask. "Who do you think is going to go back to their dormitories tomorrow night?"

Okay, so it's generic as hell. Avada me for picking an easily debated question and throwing it out there, why don't you. But at least I'm trying here! And it seems that my effort is going to be fully paid back.

"Ooh, that's such a scary thing to think about," says Sadie, officially launching the discussion for me. She's good about doing that. "Who do _you _think will go back, Alicia?"

Damnit. Why does she throw everything back in my face? Why does she look at me so eagerly, waiting to hear what I have to say? It's intimidating. It's flattering, but it's frightening.

Limelight is fine, but I don't always like it. No one does. I'm just good at pretending it's nice at every second of the day. A little too good, as it turns out.

"Erm…I don't know," I say honestly. "Uh…maybe…hmmm…"

"I think it'll be Lily," Lucille states at once, automatically, partially saving me from a response and partially making a bigger arse out of herself than she already is. "I think this will be Lily's day to leave."

Sadie's eyes widen and I think mine do too, to a certain extent. At the mention of her name in Lucille's tinny voice, Lily turns away from Alice and looks towards us, suspicious.

"Excuse me?" she asks in that death voice of hers, so calm and polite, like poisoned honey. "What was that about me?"

"Nothing, nothing," I try hastily to amend, but Lucille isn't in the mood to amend. She is a bull in a Dark Arts shop, that girl…

"I said," Lucille repeats clearly, "that you will be the next girl to leave this competition tomorrow night."

Lily's eyes are colder than I've seen them yet in the competition. She's damn scary when she wants to be.

"Is that so?" wonders Lily.

"Yes," Lucille confirms simply. "It is."

The silence is icy after this – really icy and awkward. I can't stand it. Silence leaves too much up to the imagination, wards off facts like Lily wards off James. I need the noise. I need to break the ice. It's a compulsive need of mine, one people frequently attribute to my 'need for attention,' but I can't help what I feel.

I say loudly, "So…erm…well…that's one thought. Does anyone else have any others?"

No one does. Instead, Lily states, "Look, Lucille, whatever your reasoning may be for that unfortunate remark, I'll have you know that I am in this competition for the same reason you are – because I was requested to be here – and I'm doing what I can. If that means I'm leaving, it means I'm leaving. Your obsession with this game has no effect on me whatsoever."

"I'm not trying to say anything like that," Lucille defends herself. "I mean, Alicia just asked what I thought and I think it's going to be you. I didn't mean for you to think…"

"Well, you've said what you had to say and now I've said my fair share as well," Lily cuts her off. "I hope we have come to a better understanding of this now."

I look at Lily, big strong Lily who can kick anyone's arse (including mine) to New York City if she wanted to, and the expression on her face touches me like nothing I've ever felt before. I mean, it's so dignified, but I can tell this is annoying to her, because Lucille's a right cow and her idiocy makes you want to sock the sodding smile right off her face. It speaks to me, since I've always wished I had her strength, and now here she is, cracking slightly because of _Lucille_.

At once, I wake up with a vengeance and immediately take action.

"Hey, hey, this is completely out of line," I declare. "Lucille, we've all been remarkably patient with you for the whole duration of your stay in this competition, but it's about time someone laid it down straight for you – you are a right cold bitch and you have no right to be here any longer. You are not the type of person anyone wants to be around. I hope when the next elimination comes tomorrow, you are the one who has to leave."

There is another silence after this, but I don't want to break it. Not this time. This silence has a fury to it, an anger that's not just my own, and I love it. I thrive in it. I glare Lucille down, allowing all my resentment of her to bubble up into my face, and she stares at me as though she's never seen another person quite like me.

Which, most likely, she has not.

I glance only once at Lily and I can't exactly tell what's going on in her face. Gratitude, because I stood up for her and told Lucille off? Irritation, because she doesn't like me? I dunno. It's hard to say. It might even be a bit of both. Who am I to know?

But before anyone can say anything else, Lucille recovers from this blow and answers with a malice and spite that is much sharper than anything wishy-washy Lucille should be capable of having:

"Is that what you think, Alicia?" she asks me. By this point, I am sure I've met icicles warmer than her.

"Maybe it is," I say as belligerently as my voice-box will let me.

"Well, then here's what I think," she says slowly, deliberately, making sure I catch every single word. "I think that you are a bitch – a real _dog _– and that you haven't the faintest idea what is going on here. You are self-centered, attention-seeking, desperate, and fake – you really have no idea how obvious that is to the outside eye. You think you're so popular and charming, but really, you are just a joke. You don't know anything, you don't mean anything, and nobody honestly cares about you. _That's _what I think."

Her icicles stab right into my chest with every allegation she throws at me, everything about her cold, cold eyes and her cold, cold mouth, saying those cold, cold things cutting in to me. In just a few words, she has lacerated my insides, everything warm inside of me, and I feel myself collapsing from the insides. I can't handle this much damage.

People don't know what they do to me. They hurt me. They scare me. I do what I can to be someone likeable, rag on them and frolic about and work hard to make sure I don't have weaknesses for them to prey on.

And then here comes Lucille, who looks and acts like a ditz but knows exactly where to hurt you if she wants to, and then I don't know what to do.

I'm lost. She hates me. If she hates me, that means more people hate me – probably every girl in the competition, with the way they're all looking at me now, trying to measure the damage so they can comfort me accordingly, if they do so at all.

Their eyes burn me in the spots Lucille froze me and cracked me. Lily's green eyes are the most empathetic of them all from here, all soul and genuine concern. I can't take it. I know I look broken, but no, no, they can't know I am.

I'm Alicia. Lucille's an idiot. She shouldn't affect me; and I'll be damned if they think she does.

I clear my throat. I swallow the hurt. I say, "That's not true." This one statement empowers me somewhat, adds some bandages to some of my battle wounds, and I try again.

"That's not true, Lucille," I say. "You're the one who gets some kind of perverse, savage pleasure from saying things you think are going to make someone get hurt. You think that's going to bring me down and give you the competition? Well, think again – or, rather, don't. Your brain is woefully underdeveloped and might just implode from the effort it takes you to think of a retort, the poor thing."

This helps. This helps more. I arch my eyebrow at her and feel a little like me again.

However, Lucille only smirks that cold, cold smirk of hers and brings in her slow, deliberate ice-storm towards me one more time.

"Yes, yes, I forgot. You need to save face," she says. "I've discredited you. You don't have your throne anymore. Of course you need to give me a would-be-sarcastic speech in the hope it'll bring me down. Well, you know what? I'm bloody tired of you all bringing me down. I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't said anything to any of you. I'm not as stupid as you think I am. You, Alicia, are pitiful for thinking otherwise. You don't deserve to be here."

"I do," I insist.

"No, you don't." Lucille's smirk turns mocking, condescending in the cruelest, most horrible way. "You are only here because the Marauders pity you too."

My heart freezes and breaks right down the middle. No, no, she's making this up. It can't be true.

"You're lying," I say.

"I'm not."

Lucille's voice is composed, soft. She doesn't need to raise it. The room is dead silent and I can hear her as if she was shouting this at me into my ear, her words reverberating in my body, tolling like a bell.

She continues, "Sirius told me during my interview, you know. He said that when they were picking girls to be in this competition, James picked you and Lily – not because he liked you, but because he was using your bland charms to do him over until he got over Lily. 'Alicia lets him coast,' those were Sirius's exact words to me. James doesn't think you're special; you're just a one-use toy that he can tinker with until the real thing comes along to sweep him away. You don't mean anything to him."

I abandon all pretence of coolness. Any cool I ever had is gone now, evaporated. I am a puddle of very sad Alicia on my bed.

This can't be true. No, no, no, it isn't. James may not like me romantically, Lily may be a million times the girl I'll ever be at my best, but he does like me sincerely as a person. I can't mean that little to him. After everything…I can't have just been a tool. No. It can't be. She's lying. She's making it up.

And yet, with that smug look on her face, she can't be. No. It makes sense. Of course he doesn't like me. He likes Lily. He thinks by goofing around with me, he can make do with a lesser model. He pities me, as she says. I let him coast. I amuse him. I am his kitten in his cage, ready to take funny pictures for him whenever he wants them. But I don't mean anything to him.

I don't mean anything to him.

The simple truth – the easy, simple, broken-down truth – hits me like nothing else Lucille could have thrown at me. My worst fears, the ones that keep me awake at night when everyone thinks I'm all right, they're coming true.

I'm unlikeable. I'm fake. I'm a dog who jumps on your lap and gives love unconditionally, even if I don't get it in return. I'm a bitch who can be pitied.

I am nothing.

And Lucille was the one to tell me this.

Lucille is done speaking to me – I can tell by the way she's turned away from me and is humming to herself as she retreats to bed, despite the cold-custard atmosphere around us – and although she was out to dig her claws into my tender skin, I don't know if she's aware how good a job she did.

She broke me down. So easily. Just like that. All when I was trying to be the strong, perky, enthusiastic person I knew the Marauders would want to date, maybe love.

Nobody likes me. Not even those affectionate boys who said such nice things to me just minutes ago.

It was all a game after all. It wasn't going to mean anything.

Pursing my lips and feeling like the slightest gust of wind would release me into a million particles bonding with the air, I silently give Sadie the smallest kick to get off my bed. I settle into my blankets with all those girls watching me. I turn so they can't see me, hiding my face from them. I have retreated.

With this act of defeat, Sadie's blood gets running hot and she begins to shout at Lucille. I don't know what she's saying; something about how she's so low and I'm better than she'll ever be.

Yeah right. Sadie is a nice girl, and she laps up everything I say, but she doesn't _know _me. She doesn't know that Lucille is right. She doesn't know the truth and I don't have anything left in me to tell her.

As if I'm underwater, I hear a full-scale battle going on around me. Sydney and Sadie are on my side, fighting my battle with Lucille, who's throwing fireballs now from the sound of it. I'm in this weird state between sleep and consciousness, where I'm kind of here but kind of not, the world intimate and shrunken down to my too-fast heartbeat, my jelly legs, the sound of my breaths, in, out, signaling that somehow, I'm still here and alive even though I shouldn't be.

The fight only subsides when Verity, of all people, freaks out and tells everyone to shut up and stop picking on each other. People retreat then, going back to their corners seething or talking furiously or doing whatever these girls do post-drama, but I'm right here. I don't move or go anywhere or change my position.

I just lie here – alone and unlovable, Lucille's cold argument playing in my head on an eternal loop that's not going to go away.

Not today.

Maybe not ever.

**&**

The next day passes me by like a dream.

I wake up in the morning. I wear a comfortable gray sweatshirt with a hood that I can hide under. I'm not wearing make-up or my signature smile. I should've washed my hair last night, but I didn't. Oh well.

I don't talk to anyone. I avoid Sadie. I avoid Andrew and Jonathon and all the other guys that try to hail me over when I pass the Great Hall. I'm not in the mood for breakfast or company, so I walk past the Great Hall, turn around, and go back upstairs to wait in the common room until it's time for first period. Then I go to first period, sit in my seat, and pretend I'm listening.

Thankfully, since Lucille is a seventh year and I'm a sixth year, I don't see her at all today. I don't think I want to imagine the look on her face if she saw me like this. I'm not myself. I don't feel like myself. But maybe that's a good thing. As Lucille so kindly pointed out the other night, the person I am is clearly not the person others want in their midst. Who could blame them?

I go to classes. I scribble a few words down. I do what I'm supposed to do, show my homework like a good girl, avoid getting called upon during class. I avert my eyes when anyone tries to meet them. I'm good at hiding when the time calls for it. To most people, it will be like I wasn't there at all.

When it comes time for elimination time after classes, I can't care less if I tried to. I trudge to the corridor to the Room of Requirement and arrange my features to be blank. I am not happy, I am not sad, I am not anything. I am just Alicia and I am here. I can tell, when I come by, that the girls are worried about me. I am the last person to arrive. Lucille doesn't even glance at me – which I almost want to thank her for. Almost.

The Marauders greet us, blah, blah, and they take us to the room. They say something else, so cheerful and happy, so unaware that I know of their scheme and their trickery and their lies. They joke with each other and banter and I don't hear a word they're saying.

None of this matters anyway. None of it. Not at all.

I only tune in for real when they begin to call us up to look at our best individual pictures. James calls me first.

"Hey Alicia," says James, his big sideways-banana smile beaming down on me like a light-bulb or the sun. "How are you?"

It nearly kills me, but I force a smile. I hope it's convincing. "Hey, Jamie. I'm great! And how are you?"

"I'm great too, thanks for asking." He winks at me and chuckles and the sound comes to me like it's far away. I can't tease him back. I know his secret. Even looking at his face revolts me today. I stick to my most-likely-not-convincing-smile and wait for Sirius to put my picture up.

The Marauders know something is up. That much is obvious in their faces. But they are not going to say anything, because this is a bloody hoax to get James over Lily, nothing else. My picture comes up. I take a look up at it.

It's a pretty good picture of me, if I'm honest. I'm wearing the fat-suit with a plain purple dress and a bib (Sirius's touch), coddling a chocolate bar in my hands as if it's a baby. The chocolate bar had been Peter's and I asked him to borrow it when I was doing my shoot – it has a bite taken out of it, but it works for the shot. The boys all have a nice group laugh at hilarious Alicia being a clown again.

"That's amazing," says Sirius. "The look on her face! Merlin! It's like the chocolate is her first-born kid!"

Yeah, it kind of does look like that. I remember taking that shot and giggling to myself, thinking how clever I was. Now, I look at it and it feels like a different girl up there, one with animation I don't have anymore.

My mum always said I had the tendency of going high as a kite and then falling right down to the bottom of the well with everything I did. I think I'm at the bottom of the well again.

"This is a good picture of you, Alicia," says Peter the camera-man. "You've always been one of the easiest girls here to shoot because you're so expressive and fun to have around. Picking the best one is hard since there are so many to choose from."

"I like it," says Remus. "You did Gluttony better than I thought you would. Seriously."

Sirius's jaw drops as he stares at Remus, but Remus (probably bored to death with this pun) ignores him and consults The List. They have nothing more to say to me. All the boys commented, all the boys liked it, they're moving on.

"Verity, you're next," calls Remus.

I walk back to the clump of girls behind me and I can see the mystification in their eyes. But, unlike with the Marauders, the mystification is mixed with pity, because they know that I took Lucille's words hard yesterday. This more than anything bucks me up and I raise my eyebrow, looking at them like I have no idea what their problem is, and I stand right up in the front because that's the opposite of hiding in the back.

Lucille was right. I like face-saving. But I do maintain that it's better than giving up and curling up in fetal position behind everyone else.

Verity steps up for her judging and, as usual, she has a fabulous shot. She had Wrath – which I bet they did on purpose, because Verity is so dreamy all the time – and it startles me to see the raw anger in her face, her posture, her pose, her small red dress with the black leather jacket. The boys are, needless to say, very excited.

"Nice, Verity!" says Sirius. "I love it!"

"My first thought was, whoa," admits James. "There's a lot of power to your shot. You're a very versatile girl, Verity – you're a chameleon and you make it look effortless. That's a skill."

"I'm sold," Remus says simply. "You are officially my new favorite girl here."

Verity smiles her Mona Lisa smile at this.

"I am in love with the way your face catches the light," says Peter. "The only complaint I had was that the anger took a bit of coaxing out of you. You were very unsure of how to go about it. This was one of the last few shots I took and by then, you'd had it. Don't be afraid to come out of your shell and get pissed, all right?"

Verity nods and the boys send her off happily, excited that this tall, beautiful, quiet girl is such a fantastic addition to this group. Whoever selected her to be part of this was a genius. She surprises me everyday.

After Verity, the boys want Sydney. Sydney bounces up like the hyper little thing she is and says, "Hi!"

"Hi Sydney," says Remus. "You're in quite the cheerful mood, I see."

"Indeed I am," Sydney agrees.

"That's good news, certainly," James remarks somewhat significantly. His eyes flicker over to us girls and I think this is supposed to make me feel guilty or something. Too bad I don't. Too bad I'm onto him. I refuse to change my expression to reflect this.

"So, anyway, let's see your best shot," says Sirius, blowing it up and putting on the wall.

We survey the picture. If I'm honest, it's a little…underwhelming. It shouldn't be. Sydney had Greed, and she's wearing a bright, ostentatious navy dress with glitter all over it, and she should've had a lot of fun parading around being the aforementioned greedy, but she just isn't. She looks awkward and stiff and the shifty look she's trying to pull off falls flat on its face in the middle of a muddy football field. She's just not pretty.

Unfortunately, I am not the only one who feels this way, because the first thing Sirius does is wrinkle his nose and James's eyes avert to his hands on the desk. Remus squints a little further, but Peter crosses his arms and ponders, murky. Sydney looks slightly crestfallen.

"Sydney…" James tries to speak, but his voice trails off after her name.

Sirius tries next.

"Sydney, this…" He fails miserably too. He really doesn't want to say it. He doesn't. But he has to and he can't find the words. Sydney's face falls further.

Peter tries next.

"Sydney, this…I just…"

Okay, okay. They're getting better with each try. Maybe Remus will get it. We look to Remus – as do the helpless boys. Remus is still squinting.

Then he astonishes us all by looking Sydney in the eye and says, "Sydney, I'm sorry, but this is not your best picture. I'm not a fan of this one."

"Yes, what Remus said," Sirius proclaims at once, jumping in now with guilt all over his handsome face. "You're so bright and perky in person, Sydney, when you're relaxed…but put a little pressure on you, as in a camera, and you fall apart."

"You coast," adds James. "You're only comfortable when you know it's safe – otherwise, you can't adapt. You were nervous. This isn't a flattering shot. I'm so sorry."

"You're normally fun to shoot," says Peter. "I don't know what happened yesterday."

All of the happiness in Sydney evaporates out of her like mine did when Lucille punctured me yesterday. She's heart-broken. She says thank you and lets them dismiss her, slinking back to us without another word, and I want to hug her tightly, tell her I understand how she's feeling, because I know how it is to perform under par and have people get you for it. Poor Sydney. I hope this doesn't send her back. I don't want her to go yet.

After Sydney, Remus calls Lily up to the chopping block. Interesting. She's been called up last for as long as I can remember. Does this mean he's over her or still madly in love with her? I can't tell.

"Hey, Lils," says Sirius cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Fine," says Lily. Her voice is warmer than usual. "Thanks."

"You ready for your best picture?" he asks.

"Sure," she says.

Sirius nods and obliges, replacing Sydney's sorry picture with Lily's. We take a moment and take it in, because this time, Lily has thrown us for a spin.

For the last photo-shoot, she didn't understand the camera.

But for this one, she did.

Lily's dress is admittedly amusing – it's a deep, blood-red corset thing that gives her some ample cleavage and extenuates her lovely frame while looking quite ridiculous – but that is almost insignificant when I get a look at the rest of the shot.

Lily is facing the camera head-on, her leg muscles taut and shoulder-width apart; her hands are clutching her red hair with frustration, anger, making her look raw and livid and irritated out of her mind. Her green eyes are like dams holding back more emotion than she can handle – I can see frustration and love that cuts, that hurts, coming out like a laser force-field all around her. Her lips, so full and gorgeous and red, are pursed, which somehow makes her look even more tormented.

The emotion is there. Lily _is _lust. The passion rolls off her, even in this one stolen moment captured on paper. It's undisputable. It's a phenomenal shot of Lily – blunt, gritty and frankly extraordinary.

"Wow," remarks Sirius. "I love it. Lily, this is bloody _sexy_."

"You definitely took James's advice from last judging," says Peter. "You were much easier to shoot yesterday – you learn quickly."

"Yeah, he's right," James agrees, sounding strangely bemused. "You…you look fantastic."

The way he's looking at her now, it makes me want to explode. It's like he's seeing her for the first time, falling in love with her all over again. Her tumult is hard to ignore. It looks ready to burst out of her. He's a passionate guy, James Potter, and this is the fire that attracts him to her like stink to a boy's Quidditch robes.

"Lily, you are chock-full of surprises," remarks Remus. "Those other girls had better watch out for you when you're on your game."

Lily's smile is cute, a sharp contrast from her photograph. "Thanks," she says, looking at Remus in particular. "I'm glad it worked out this time."

"Well done, Lily," says James. "You can go."

Lily's eyes linger on him for just a few extra seconds, connecting with him in a way that's far too intimate for the judging of Hogwarts' Next Top Model, but then it's done, the moment is gone, and Lily has rejoined our crowd.

Now it's Sadie's turn. Remus calls her up and she stands before them, her sweet face pleasant and ready for whatever the Marauders have to say about her tonight. Sadie laps up commentary on her own performance, but in a different way than Lucille – I'm no psychologist, but to me, it seems that Sadie is still looking for an identity, a person to call Sadie, and she relies on other people to feed her some kind of personality she can fit into.

She's lovely, but she's a puppy dog, unassuming and unconditional and loyal to the millionth degree. So far, she has been a great model, but I wonder what she has done for today. I take a good, hard look when Sirius puts it up over Lily's fantastic picture.

Today, Sadie looks…interesting.

I know, I know, placeholder word alert. But she does, she looks interesting. Sadie had to portray Sloth – which has to be the hardest sin to portray in a photograph – and her dress is a pale lime edging towards off-white ivory, a very filmy and tasteful color (personally, I'd bet my marbles that Remus picked it).

In her picture, she's lying on the ground with her hand on her forehead, one leg lying flat and the other bent, her knee facing the sky. She looks like a lazy-ass princess, her tea-colored hair fanned out all around her head, her eyes facing the camera. It should be a simple, stunning shot, but somehow, it isn't.

In the first photo-shoot, Lucille (sadly) had a gorgeous picture where she stared into the camera with her eyes absolutely clear, at peace, confident. Here, Sadie is trying the same thing, but she is not as clear, at peace, or confident – there is trouble and murk visible, insecurity melded into her young, pretty, open face.

It ruins her picture, makes her look uncertain and amateurish. I look to the Marauders, wondering what they have to say about this. They seem to be reasonably pleased with her.

"Sadie, this is pretty good," says Peter. "Your sin was a hard one and this matches it perfectly."

"Works for me," Sirius chirps.

"You were a great model," says James. "When we asked you to adjust your pose or something a little, you listened. You were sensitive. You take direction very well."

"It's beautiful, Sadie, but I have to ask," says Remus, "do you know you look insecure to me here?"

Ha. I knew it.

"I do?" Sadie asks, uncertain all over again.

"Yes," says Remus simply. "Look at your eyes. I don't think you're entirely comfortable with exposing yourself to a camera. Or something else about this competition is bothering you. Am I right?"

Sadie and the other three Marauders focus in on the photographed eyes of Sadie. I think they're seeing what I'm seeing, the slight turmoil going on behind Sadie's face. They certainly look mildly enlightened when they come back to the present, the judging.

"Moony's right, the sensitive lug," says Sirius, affectionately rumpling Remus's hair. "You do look a bit uncertain. What's going on there, Sadie? How were you feeling?"

Sadie chews on her lip, obviously at a loss on how to answer. "I…don't know," she admits honestly. "I suppose this whole thing has just been a little awkward for me. I mean, dressing up like this, just to take pictures for you guys and maybe go out with one of you? It gets to me sometimes. Like last night."

Sirius nods wisely. "I think I get it," he says. "You don't like putting yourself out there for the hell of it. You like objectives. You like knowing what you're fighting for."

"Yeah, I suppose I do," says Sadie.

"That's fine," says James. "We understand that. In fact, Moony brings that up every time we talk about setting up the next challenge. You shouldn't always just take our word for everything and accept this lying down. We take note of your reactions as a reflection of the girl in front of us. It's all part of the process."

"We just have to be ostentatious because that's the only way to push you ladies forward," says Sirius. "Trust me – we're not as stupid as Lily pretends we are."

Lily ignores the slight on herself, contented with smirking and rolling her eyes at the boys, but I smile. These guys…they are so extraordinary. So ardent and quirky and imaginative. I love them. I adore them. They understate their intelligence. They are fabulous.

Once Sadie is dismissed, there are only two more girls to judge, Lucille and Alice. Alice is up first. It's a weird role reversal for her and Lily. Grinning like an extremely handsome fool, Sirius posts up Alice's picture – she is Pride – and we get to behold Alice in what seems to be a strange set of navy vicar robes with the high collar.

Other than the outfit, I think Alice's picture is quite nice.

She has a very haughty expression on her face, her face angled upward so that we can see the shadows on the underside of her chin. Her eyes stare down – intimidating, startling – and the camera seems to be below her, looking up at her like a loyal peasant, as she maintains her position at the top.

She looks like she's going to win something huge with that expression; like she's well aware she's better than the rest of us. It's an amazing change for Alice, who has struck me as mild-mannered and adorable so far in the competition. I think I like seeing this stronger, non-Lily-dependent side of her. She spends far too much time in Lily's abundant shadow.

The boys agree with me regarding this notion.

"Hey, Alice, I like it!" James says, grinning. "Look at you, glaring at me like I'm some kind of cockroach! Did you teach Lily to glare at people like that?"

Lily rolls her eyes again and her hands find her hips semi-unconsciously. Alice chuckles.

"No, it's the other way around," she says.

"Well, either way, it's an impressive look for you," says Sirius. "I like it. You look like you might kick my arse at any second – squish me under your shoe or something."

"I love it," Remus agrees. "Delightfully obnoxious."

"It took a few frames for you to get used to the whole idea, but once you did, you did marvelously," says Peter. "Very nice, Alice. I think you're an understated force in this competition. I'm sure there's more to you than what we see here."

Alice's smile is nearly as enigmatic as Verity's – like she's a big mystery too, despite how open and mellow she is when she's talking to us.

"Thank you," she says. Then she turns and comes back to us, as untouched as ever.

And now it's time for Lucille to be judged. When she steps up, I can't help but glare at the back of her head, hostile.

I'm not upset anymore. I'm just pissed off. That girl needs a damn bad picture to make me feel better – and, as Sirius greets her and puts her picture up on the wall for us to see, I think I've gotten my wish.

Ever since the first photo-shoot, when she accidentally took a beautiful picture for judging, Lucille has lived under the false sense of security that comes with being under the illusion that she's great when she really isn't. After that point, she has gotten steadily worse and convinced herself that she will be better the next day, or the next. But she hasn't been.

And today, it's the exact same story all over again.

Lucille got Envy for her shoot, wearing a tight green dress, and for her shot, she has attempted to look wistfully off to the side. The pose is limp, ineffective; her eyes lack Lily's passion, or Verity's or Alice's; her hair looks like a mess for some strange reason.

She is flat. She is boring. She is also a bitch, but everyone except James, Sirius, Remus and Peter know that. They are not excited by her picture.

"Erm…Lucy…this isn't very good, love," Sirius says with a wince.

"No?" Lucille is, amazingly, surprised by this.

"No," says Sirius. "Sorry."

"I'd have to agree, Lucille," says Remus. "You had a hard time embracing this challenge, being envious. Haven't you ever felt envious before in your life?"

"Not really, no," says Lucille. "I've always had everything I've wanted. Envy wasn't an option."

"Well, that shows in the picture," says Peter. "You were lost and scattered. You couldn't get into it. You couldn't commit."

"I'm a little disappointed, Lucy," says James. "You're so cute. You could've done a good job on this, if you could've stopped, taken a breath, and admitted you needed help."

Lucille looks like she might say something, but she doesn't. She just stares anxiously back at the Marauders, fearing the worst. I'd say she has good reason to – if we're lucky, she might leave tonight!

"Lucy, darling, I certainly hope this is the worst it's going to get," says Sirius. "You're a good model. You've got that bright confidence in you that some of the girls here desperately need. Don't let it get the best of you. You can go."

Lucille nods and scurries back to the group. We have all been judged. It's time for the Marauders to deliberate and pick someone to go back to their dormitory.

I know I'm not going, but if the world decides to be a just, fair place today, Lucille will be the one eliminated. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We are dismissed to wait outside until the boys have finished deciding.

--

This deliberation takes longer than usual, which means the Marauders are conflicted about who they're sending away. I hope this bodes well for my Lucille-gets-to-leave campaign. When we girls come into the room, they look deadly somber, as usual. They scare me just a little when they get like this.

"Right then, ladies," says James as we assemble in front of them. "You know this drill by now. I'm going to call the girls with the best pictures first and move my way down…and today's best is Lily. Congratulations."

Hey! Lily's been called first! I don't think that's happened before (from what I can remember, anyway), so I'm happy for her. She's certainly astonished, because she blinks and takes a moment to process before retreating to the side, where she's supposed to wait for the rest of us.

"The second name I'm going to call," says James, "is Alicia."

Yay! I'm still in! This is wonderful. This is excellent. I bound over to take my place next to Lily, some of my mojo coming back to me after slowly recuperating through the duration of this judging. It feels good. I don't think I want to lose it again.

"The third name I'm going to call," James continues, "is Verity."

And up comes Verity.

"Alice, you're next," says James.

And up comes Alice.

There are only three girls left – Lucille, Sydney, and Sadie. Uh oh. This doesn't look good. I like Sydney and Sadie very much and I don't want to see them go; but this way, one of them will be in the bottom two with the potential to leave. No, no, no! Please send Lucille home! Oh, if I was a Legilimins…

"Sadie," James announces.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Sadie scurries away and stands next to me. I squeeze her hand tightly to show her I'm pleased to have her here and I'm ninety-nine percent positive she's now grinning widely.

There are two girls left – Sydney and Lucille. I'll admit it, I'm scared. These Marauders are, bless them, completely ignorant to the pile of rat dung two human beings named Lucille. She has to go home. She just has to. Sydney's far too wonderful to leave already.

"Lucille and Sydney, will you please step forward?" James requests in the voice you might use to coax an invalid out of bed.

The two oblige, both of them trembling but perfectly independent of each other, because neither of them like each other too much. James surveys them both calmly, patiently, holding the tension over their heads as only a Marauder can.

He says, "So, the two of you are here for pretty similar reasons actually. Sydney, you're here because as wonderful as you are in person, the slightest bit of pressure on you scares you into being meek. That's not right. It shouldn't work that way. You need to find the confidence to be the same vivacious person you are when we talk to you."

Sydney hangs her head slightly. James turns to Lucille. "Lucy, you've been here before," he says. "You also have a hard time with the camera – not because you're scared of it, but because you're under the illusion that you look like a goddess in front of it. You're confident, but you're the wrong type of confident – you need to learn to be humble when someone or something is watching you."

He stares at them again. I hate it when he does that. It's like, does he have any idea how nerve-wracking it must be to stand there, in front of everyone, and know you are not good enough? Does he understand that? Does he care? He should. He usually seems to. But I'm seeing him with new eyes today and I just can't be sure.

I hope he'll be kind. I hope he'll chuck Lucille because this is Sydney's first time at the bottom. Sydney is nicer anyway. Please don't let it be Sydney…

Then –

"So Lucy, we're giving you one more chance," says James, popping the bubble of tension in the room. "But it's your last. I hope you make good use of it."

So that's it. The ultimate decision blown. We lose lovely Sydney and get stuck with Lucille for another day.

Damn it. This isn't right.

Lucille bursts into tears again and comes to the side, standing near me. I wish she wouldn't do that, because she's not getting any sympathy from me. Sydney looks like she might burst into tears as well, her hazel eyes – so similar to James's – wide and innocent and glistening.

"I'm sorry, Sydney," says James, coming towards her and giving her a tight hug. "Sorry it didn't work out. But thank you for playing."

"N-No problem," Sydney stutters, relaxing against James for just a few seconds before releasing him, trying to hold herself together. "It's been fun. I'm glad you let me join in."

Now Sydney comes to us and I'm the first to give her a bear-hug, snug and heartfelt. I'm really going to miss her in this competition. Sadie gives her the next hug and each girl (except Lucille) follows suit, hugging Sydney and telling her they're sorry. I notice that they truly are. Sydney's lovely – and anyone's better than Lucille.

With a final sniffle, Sydney exits the classroom, waving as she goes. We all wave back, the Marauders included. We're only six waving to her, ten if you count the boys. It feels strange to let her go.

James dismisses us and we go through the same doorway Sydney did. I walk with Sadie.

"It's awful, isn't it?" she says, fury audible in her voice. "That damned Lucille. I wonder why they let her stay instead of Sydney."

"It's not fair," I say, as pissed as she is. "Sydney is two million times the girl Lucille will ever be."

I look Sadie in the eye and, in earshot of the other girls who are trying to listen in without my noticing, I say, "This isn't right. Something must be done – and if I have to, I'll do it myself."

--

A/N: **Intense**, right? Well, I **tried my best **anyway. Hope it worked.

This is **not the end of the drama**. Our next narrator is…well, I **won't tell you**. You'll have to **wait and see**.

Has this chapter **changed your view on Alicia**? **Review** and let me know!

And coming up next chapter…

An **argument**.  
An _accusation_.  
A girl who's changed.  
A _revenge_.  
A **challenge**.

Cheers!

Xx


	12. When You Care Enough

A/N: You are **insane**. You are **sensational**. You are **the best people in the universe**. **Thank you **for being so wonderful and **reviewing **and **telling me exactly what's on your mind**. I appreciate it more than you would **ever know**. I can't say that **enough**. And I'm sorry this took a while. Damn schoolwork…

And as you read on, please remember – these are **regular girls **in this competition. **They are not perfect**. There are things **we wish we could change about all of them**. But give us **time**. The girls **will ultimately change**. Hang in there **until it all goes down**.

And if I were you, I **wouldn't forget** **the way Alicia took the news from Lucille** last chapter **for a while**. Just saying.

Cheers!  
Xx

--

**Lucille Jansen**

--

Tonight, as I leave the judging room, I am horrified. I am thunderstruck. I can't believe this is happening to me.

I was in the bottom two again!

It was horrifying, it really was. I've been in the bottom two a few times now and it's nerve-wracking. James is a gorgeous individual – you won't hear me doubting that any time soon – but he has a way of looking at you when you're up there, solemn and cool, and you feel like you want to shrink back, melt to the floor. And I never feel that way. Ever.

I'm shaking as I walk out with the other girls, knowing how close I was to leaving. James said this was going to be my last chance. Hopefully this challenge will be something easy, so I can redeem myself and kick arse again. I honestly believe I am the biggest competition these girls have, because I'm bubbly and beautiful…it's all just a matter of getting my merits to translate properly in these games we're supposed to play.

I know I can do this. It's going to be easy. All I really need now is for that rat Alicia to be sent back and my path will be perfectly clear for the victory. Too bad everyone else is so deluded and blind that they adore Alicia. She's not leaving any time soon – which is a pity.

I muse upon this as we girls troop up to the Room of Requirement, ready for a bit of homework and sleeping time. They're all quiet as we go – except Alicia, who's blithering about how upset she is that Sydney's gone, as if she really cared about anyone but herself. Sadie's the only one who takes her bullshit – and even her, I'm not sure why she does it. Alicia continues to chatter as we file into the Room and settle into our respective lounging spots, getting out books or fluffing pillows.

I choose to fluff my pillows. I don't say anything to anyone, I swear. I'm just sitting there and arranging my things around so I can get ready for bed (I did most of my homework earlier on) and I'm minding my own business when all of a sudden, I hear Sadie and Alicia talking in over-loud tones I'm obviously meant to hear.

"I think the Marauders were wrong sending Sydney away, don't you think, Sadie?" Alicia asks, fury in her tone.

"Definitely," agrees Sadie, a more lukewarm version of Alicia. "The better girl went back this time."

I turn around, up to my nose in anger. I've been a lovely girl for a long time, but this is pushing it. This is wrong. Alicia thinks she is so much better than me because she believes she has the support of the girls and the Marauders when she doesn't. I thought I set her straight on that the other day when she finally got on my second-to-last nerve, but apparently no, she's brazen enough to try this with me again.

Fine. If it's a fight she wants, it's a fight she'll damn well get.

"Well, _Alicia_," I say, her name coming out with more emphasis because I have to work so hard to pass the revolting sound through my lips. "I can't help what happened in there tonight. Obviously, according to the Marauders, the better girl stayed."

"The Marauders can make a mistake," Alicia says at once. "They're not exempt from that perfectly human disability."

Her voice is loud and it carries (probably something she practices in her dorm room late at night to fine-tune) so by this point, all the girls are looking up, looking at each other, trying to figure out where they stand on this current battle – because it's definitely a battle Alicia's trying to brew up. She fancies herself quite the army general, crashing through the thicket and attempting to come up as a war hero.

Well, I say she's messed with one thicket too many.

That's why I end up snapping at her, "This isn't my doing. Acting like a bitch won't bring Sydney back, you know."

"Fortunately, I don't need to be the bitch of this competition – you've got the space filled up already," shoots Alicia, her face ugly with all the irritation she's got in it for me. "You deserve to go home, Lucille. You don't belong here."

"At least I can take your shit, Alicia," I retort. "Judging from yesterday, you obviously couldn't."

Alicia is well taken-aback by this, the shock registering in all those places she watched me with anger. I love seeing her like that, falling flat on her face and realizing she's not a goddess in the clouds at all. Alicia is so deluded that she needs those reality checks every once in a while, ensuring that the Sadies of the world don't inflate her head any farther.

"You are such a bitch," Alicia accuses me. "I don't know why you are still here."

I look at Alicia and all I can see is someone small, frail, and rather pathetic. All the glittering, all the preening, it's gone, every single bit of it. She's trying to scare me with her anger – it's not working – but when I see her quivering, I can tell it's not from passion. She's so fake that words fail me and I just want to laugh at her – hard.

I will never understand why this girl has so-called friends – because obviously, she's got the spine of a jellyfish.

"Yes, Alicia, keep saying that until you go blue in the face," I respond. "If it makes you feel better, by all means, indulge. But really, it's a futile argument. I'm here and you can't do a thing about it except pick a fight – which is so first year."

"I am not picking a fight," Alicia shoots at me.

"You certainly are," I say. "I've left you alone ever since I've been in this competition; but if you take swipes at me, I have no choice but to defend myself and that's when you start freaking out. You bring everything upon yourself – I haven't done anything wrong."

Alicia is frustrated by this logic, knowing it to be true and not enjoying that fact; and I am about to turn away and mind my own business again when suddenly, Lily decides to pick up Alicia's fight.

"Well, Lucille, you just have such a bad attitude about everyone here," she says. "You think you're everything and more and we don't appreciate that. We didn't have any judgments about you when we started out – anything we think now is a result of what you do here in public."

"In a perfect world, it would certainly work out like that," I say, "but this isn't a perfect world. You're all out to get me because I'm the easiest target. I'm the biggest competition you've got."

"No way!" Sadie exclaims from her corner, brave enough to enter on dear Alicia's behalf now that Lily's involved. "Lucille, you've been in the bottom two for the past two or three panel sessions – if I had to predict the next girl to leave, I bet it will be you."

Oh! Sadie, Miss Alicia's-Damn-Shadow-Girl, is telling me _I _will be the next to go! She's so damn insecure, she'd probably have a nervous breakdown if they told her anything remotely offensive about her picture.

I am about to say this, but somehow, I hold my tongue and decide to turn my attention back at Lily, who is watching me from her non-committal corner over there.

"And don't you give me anything about bad attitude, Lily Evans," I say scornfully. "I mean, you didn't have to see yourself when you first entered this competition – or even now, as you sit in the corner and say rude things about all of us. But at the beginning, you were a nightmare. You refused to do the first challenge, you wrecked the next one, you failed at the one after that, and now that you've finally got things right, you have the audacity to expect us to forget everything that happened before!"

Lily is struck speechless. I seem to be doing that a lot lately, but I'm not complaining. These girls…they are so arrogant and pigheaded and deluded. They act like they've got their heads in the clouds and need to be served everything on a silver platter. If I have to give them a bit of enlightenment to get some peace, I certainly will do so. I refuse to take their crap lying down.

However, my snappy retort at Lily prompts Alicia to get right back up in her game and say, "Hey, you know what, that was uncalled for. Lily had some good, legitimate reasons not to want to be here – she just had the nerve to stand up for what she believed in. She didn't have to resort to being filthy-minded about everyone else here to get people's attention!"

I look around the room at the other two girls. Verity is watching us carefully, as if she's not sure how she wants to respond and Alice (probably accustomed to shouting because she's friends with Lily) is ignoring us in favor of Charms homework. They don't care. They really don't.

Why can't these bitches be more like them? Alice and Verity are probably second and third for being the biggest competition here after me and they don't flaunt it in my face or scrutinize what I do to make themselves feel better. They just play along and avoid confrontation. It's smart. That's what I usually do.

Now I turn my attention back to Alicia, who is breathing hard. I say, "There you go again, being nosy and simple-minded again. If Lily wants to say something to me, let her say it. Don't you go buggering into her business."

For the first time tonight, I see passion in Alicia's eyes – real, honest-to-goodness anger – but also for the first time tonight, Alicia keeps her mouth shut. She retreats to the side with Sadie running right to her, picking up a book but probably not reading it (as it is upside down) and Lily and I are left in this arena.

Lily is still shocked by what I'd said. She pauses a few more minutes, then asks in a careful, measured voice, "So…you think I'm awful?"

"You've gotten considerably better since you decided to stop throwing tantrums every time the Marauders give us a challenge, but otherwise, yes," I say.

I see Alicia's eyes narrow in my peripheral vision. I can practically make out all the cogs in her head working overtime to make a case on how awful I am personally, but I don't care what she thinks of me. I'm not here to make friends with bloody Alicia. I'm here to win and perhaps put a few girls back in their places, if they've got their heads in the clouds again.

I know my words can be considered mean sometimes, but I'm just being honest, which is what makes it sting the most.

"Oh," says Lily, completely subsiding like a popped bubble after another few moments. "Thanks for telling me."

Somehow, I can't find an answer for this remark. There's something about the way she said it that sends the room into an awkward silence with no one sure of how to react. Alicia is glaring bloody murder at me but that's nothing new. Everyone else is eyeing each other and then going back to what they were doing. This conversation is unofficially but officially over.

Well, good riddance is all I can think right now as I return to my pillows.

These girls are obnoxious prats anyway.

**&**

The next afternoon, we girls gather around the Room of Requirement corridor together, as usual. Also as usual, I am the first one there. I think I'm the only one here who actually takes this competition seriously – everyone else strolls in whenever they feel like and it's technically okay. I don't think that's fair. Punctuality ought to mean something.

Still, the girls get here and they come in clumps (AliciaandSadie, LilyandAlice, then Verity), chattering away and speculating on today's challenge. They don't stand with or talk to me, so I stand with and talk to Verity, but she doesn't say much. She, like every other girl here, doesn't appear to like me either – although I can't imagine why.

However, the Marauders come very soon after Verity arrive and today, Remus has come along for the challenge. The four beam and wave hello, but we're all very casual about it. At this point in the competition, we know each other so well, formalities are just annoying.

"Good afternoon, ladies," says Sirius. "How are you lot doing?"

"Fine, thanks," says Sadie. We all glance at her, because we're so surprised she answered this seemingly-rhetorical question. It doesn't hurt that this is one of those rare remarks she makes that doesn't have anything to do with Alicia.

Sirius nods at Sadie, grinning adorably, and James takes over. "So, you girls probably want to know what your challenge is for the day. But I want to let Moony take that one over, because he isn't here for a lot of the challenges, the silly thing." He gives Remus a playful punch in the arm.

"Thank you for giving me the honors, Prongs, I'm eternally grateful," says Remus, giving James an affectionate eye-roll. "Anyway, your challenge today was…Sirius's idea, right?"

"Yep," says Sirius proudly.

"I helped," Peter says. "If it hadn't been for me making that comment in Hogsmeade last weekend, you wouldn't have figured it out."

"Never mind, it's still my idea," insists Sirius.

"Of _course _it is, Pads," James says.

"It was!" Sirius objects.

"And I said of course."

"But you meant it sarcastically!" complains Sirius.

"Merlin, how do you know that, Sirius?" asks James.

"I just know!"

"Merlin, do you always get so off-track when I'm not here?" Remus demands.

"No," says Sirius, "but having you around just…turns me on. I can't think clearly." He puts his arm around his friend's shoulder and grins rather wolfishly. It's actually quite inappropriate. Remus sighs and we all chuckle, except for me.

"All right, all right, settle down," says Remus. "Girls, your challenge today is to create a commercial for us – what Sirius calls a Marauder endorsement commercial."

Alicia is standing a few meters from me and immediately, her interest is caught – she is the most excited out of our group. The other girls have varying amounts of interest in this challenge, but me, I know I'm going to kick arse no matter what they ask of me. In this case, I am going to be kicking arse at a commercial, a perfect opportunity for me to show the boys that I am full to the brim with personality. Way more than Alicia, anyway.

"Things are going to work a little differently today than they normally do though," continues Remus. "Since it's a commercial and we are testing your boldness/confidence, we are going to have you perform your commercial for the rest of the group as well as just us. We will be taking notes–"

"—which translates as 'Moony will be taking notes,'" interjects Sirius.

"—and we will proceed with normal judging tomorrow afternoon," says Remus as though Sirius had not spoken. "Do you have any questions?"

No, no, we do not have questions. We just want to get started. Remus looks at each of us in turn, his eyes darting about looking for a potential inquiry, but he gets none. He claps his hands together and says, "So…we don't particularly care about hair and make-up today, which means you can follow us into the room we've already set up for you lot. I think you'll like it."

"That's why we were late, if you were wondering," adds Sirius. "We were getting things set up."

"Come along then," says Remus, gesturing for us to trail after him as he turns around, walking down the small corridor and taking a left. The other three Marauders walk with him instead of with us (which is a pity, because I'd rather take Sirius over these girls any day) and since I am alone, I walk with Verity. As it was the first time, she is not exactly pleased by my company, but I'm determined to talk to _some_one. If only for a little bit.

"Hey Verity," I say. "Merlin, a commercial! Are you excited?"

"I suppose," says Verity noncommittally. "Are you?"

"Well, yes," I say. "It's a unique challenge – a very clever idea. Why wouldn't I be excited?"

"I dunno," says Verity.

Her voice is monotone – I think she is trying to get rid of me. She's a little taller than me, too, and she has this certain look to her gray-blue eyes that intimidates whoever she's with. My words die in my throat and I say no more, even though Verity only said six casual words to me.

For that reason alone, I don't think she should win this competition – who would want to go out with someone who can make a friendly dialogue turn uncomfortable?

We land up in the Potions corridor again, where it's drafty and cold and bloody horrible. I shiver my way through the labyrinth of passages. I really hope the boys don't get us lost, but Sirius seems to know what he's doing as he leads the way, so I don't say anything. Alicia makes whooping noises to test the echo and Sadie giggles. She is so immature that it makes me feel ill.

Finally, Sirius stops in front of a door in the way back corner of the school, most likely. It smells musty and gross, so I figure we must be near the lake or something. Has anyone been down here before? With Hogwarts, it can be hard to tell sometimes. Sirius fills his chest with air and then grandly opens the door for us, allowing us to step inside, the Marauders first and us afterward.

At first, it's dark. Then James aims his wand to the ceiling and mutters a spell. At once, a flame from his wand leaps out and catches something near the top and there is a burst of light. Apparently, there was a chandelier of candles up there and once James lit the first, the flame bounced to all the rest, lighting the whole thing up. It's gorgeous, glowing up there and casting brightness all around the room. We don't need any other lights – it's perfect as it is.

"Merlin, guys, how did you do this?" Sadie marvels.

To this, James winks at Sirius, Sirius nudges Peter, and Peter gives Remus a tiny kick in the shin – they grin and Sirius says airily, "Oh, you don't need to worry about that. What you need to concern yourselves with is the commercial you're going to be doing for us right now, for all of us. Have a seat, ladies. And gentlemen."

Now Sirius draws his wand out and summons a bunch of chairs that had been sitting, unnoticed, along the side wall. They arrange themselves in a line for us and we sit down. As usual, Sadie sits next to Alicia, who sits next to Lily, who sits next to Alice, who is on the edge. I sit next to Alice, who is nice enough not to be obnoxious just because I'm in proximity to her. The four Marauders sit down (Sirius sits next to me!) and Verity is left standing there, puzzled.

"We're missing a seat," she says.

"I know," says Sirius. "That's because one girl has to be doing her commercial while the rest of us watch – and since you weren't lucky enough to get a seat this time, you get to go first!" He beams and gestures to the front of the room, which is a big empty space. "Go ahead, Verity! Astound us."

Slowly, Verity steps into the open space, looking around her and appearing to ponder quite heavily. Then she wrinkles her nose at Sirius.

"What exactly do you want me to _do_?" she asks. "What is a Marauder endorsement commercial?"

Sirius gestures to James, who clears his throat and says, "Well…we leave that mostly up to your interpretation. Basically, all we want you to do is make an advertisement for us. Make us look good, you know?"

I can't help but giggle to myself at Verity's predicament. She's so quiet and now she's being asked to speak up and endorse the Marauders. I mean, I will have no trouble at all with this challenge, but Verity…she might have a few kinks to work out. She seems to be working them out now, her eyes a million miles away and averted to the floor. We watch her politely.

Then all of a sudden, as if a light has turned on, Verity's eyes fill with life and she looks straight at us, startlingly engaged.

And, before we can process what this could possibly mean, she begins to sing.

'_Pranks and tricks and plenty of gall,_

_These four boys have mastered it all._

_They save the day and get the girl,_

_And if they can't do it, screw the world._'

James is instantly enthralled and nudges Sirius. I know this because I can feel Sirius nudging James back, which only happens when the two of them are having a moment.

There is more to this catchy, quickly-paced song, which Verity is apparently making up on the spot.

'_Dark-eyed Sirius has the charm,_

_Messy-haired James attracts the swarm._

_Sweet-faced Peter has the dazzling pout,_

_And level-headed Remus evens them out._

'_The Hogwarts Marauders, their mischief we can never stem._

_So we don't have to beat them – we whoop along and join them.'_

Her big finish is a big gesture at the boys, who immediately start clapping and whistling. The girls are clapping madly as well, and to be honest so am I, because I was completely wrong about Verity, which doesn't happen often. That girl can really _sing_. She has a big voice that hits pretty much all the notes head-on and clearly, she can think on her feet, because her rhymes weren't bad.

"Nice job, Verity, thanks!" says James, his smile wide and unable to get any bigger. "Now, since you'll be stealing her seat in a few seconds, pick the next girl who has to do her commercial."

Verity gives James an enigmatic sort of smile and says, "Thank you, James. Sadie, it's your turn."

Her lips trembling slightly, Sadie stands up and Verity slides into her seat, settling in beside Alicia, who begins to compliment her performance the moment her arse hits the chair. Once she's said a few things, she tells Sadie, "You can do it!" and goes right back to Verity. Sadie takes Verity's spot, utterly and pathetically tense.

"Erm…hi?" she offers meekly.

"Hi, Sadie," says Peter. "If you're nervous, don't worry about it, love. Take your time up there."

"But not too much time," says Sirius. Remus kicks him from his other side and he doesn't say anything else. Sadie trembles.

"Erm…erm…" she stammers.

"You can do anything you want," says James. "Verity sang a song, but you don't have to do that. You can…be a cheerleader, if you like. Or you can do a monologue. Something. Anything. Whatever you can think of."

Sadie chews on her lip and I tune out, completely bored to tears by this girl. I don't know how she's managed to stay in so long – she's certainly not the type of person that does well in competition – but if she messes this up, she'll definitely go tomorrow. She's the weakest out of the bunch right now.

"Okay," she says finally. "I think I have something."

"Excellent," says Remus kindly. "Go ahead, we're watching."

"You can do it, Sadie!" says Alicia again, waving and smiling. Sadie looks reassured, but I don't think I would be. Alicia's so self-absorbed, she can't even spur someone on properly. Sadie's probably the only one who would fail to notice something like that. And indeed, she does fail to notice. She clears her throat.

"Erm…all right then." She takes a breath, then says in an entirely too-fast voice, "So imagine that when you're in t-the corridor, and some moronic Slytherin is in your face and trying to annoy you, you feel…uncertain. People are passing you by and they're…well, they're not paying you very much attention at all, and you're all alone and this moronic Slytherin is verbally abusing you."

Sweet Merlin, this girl is the worst storyteller in the world. She had better not go into any kind of writing business, because people would most likely pay her _not _to tell stories.

But she goes on, "And then, when all hope appears to be lost, you hear footsteps coming from somewhere down the corridor. You and the Slytherin turn to look and there they are, the Marauders, the four of them, walking towards you. The Slytherin tenses as James and Sirius and Peter draw their wands and Remus threatens to hex them if they don't stop annoying you. The Slytherin slinks away because they know they're no match for the Marauders and they've freed you, and they leave before you can thank them, because McGonagall will fry their arses if they don't get into detention on time again. And then you don't see them again until they happen to pass by at another time of need."

She takes another breath. "The Marauders – our Hogwarts version of a superhero team," she says. "Saving the day between detentions."

The Marauders and the girls clap for Sadie as she turns beetroot-red and scurries away, but I don't. That's probably the worst performance we're going to have all evening. She doesn't need any applause; she needs a boot to kick her out of this game. No one really enjoyed that; they're just being nice for the sake of it.

"Thanks, Sadie," says Peter. "Go ahead and pick the next person."

"Okay," says Sadie. "I pick Alicia."

Surprise, surprise. Sadie sits next to Verity and Alicia bounds right up to the front, excited. I notice the Marauders sit up a little straighter for this one, because they know it's Alicia and she's either going to do really well or really badly. I'm crossing my fingers for badly so that she's in the running to leave the competition tomorrow afternoon.

"Ready, Alicia?" asks James, the smile audible in these two words.

"I sure am, Jamie!" Alicia winks like the flirtatious whore she is and concentrates on the ground, as if she's preparing for something.

And before we have time to react, Alicia is doing a back-flip.

Being small and wiry and restless, Alicia loves gymnastics. Sometimes, just for the hell of it, she'll stop corridor traffic to do a cartwheel – I've seen her do it and it's bloody annoying. But it's a major crowd pleaser, which is why she continues honing the skill, and that training is now paying off in major Marauder points.

Eurgh. I really loathe that girl.

Then, because she's Alicia and she's ostentatious to the millionth degree, she goes off into some sort of ridiculous chant about how wonderful the Marauders are. They are wonderful, but Alicia's portrayal was just so juvenile and cheesy and ridiculous to watch. It's times like these that it becomes obvious that I am seventeen and mature while Alicia remains stuck at sixteen and immature.

When she's through being an idiot and ends in splits on the ground, everyone but me bursts out with claps, thoroughly awed for some reason that Alicia is able to twist herself into any shape she can make in order to make an impression on us. James and Sirius even whistle at her.

"Hey, nice work, Alicia!" chirps James. "I didn't know you could do things like that."

"Ah, well, you learn something new everyday," says Alicia with a grin.

"Thanks, Alicia!" says Peter. "Pick the next girl, please."

Alicia scans the five of us sitting down, staring back at her. She ponders as though it's a really difficult decision to make. Then she says, "I pick Lily."

Lily sighs deeply with irritation and lifts herself out of her chair, allowing Alicia to plop down in her place. She troops to the front of the room and looks back to us helplessly, her expression both impatient and highly irked.

"I don't know what to do," she tells the Marauders.

"Well, you saw some good examples," says James. "It's just a commercial. You're Muggleborn – I know you've seen them before."

"Yes, but I don't know how I'm supposed to do it," Lily says. "I don't have a clue."

That she doesn't sometimes, but James won't take it. "Anything, Lily. How would you advertise something you're passionate about?"

"I dunno," Lily insists.

"Play to your strengths," Sirius advises us. "What are you good at? How can you get people's attention?"

Lily stares blankly at Sirius, uncomprehending, and she continues to stand there, perhaps wondering which of her strengths would do her best here. We're all a little restless, waiting for her to come up with something and send the next girl up (me or Alice).

Then –

"The Marauders," Lily announces in a loud voice, "are the pride of Hogwarts. They are four sharp, fun-seeking males that spend their time polishing up their intellectual gifts on the unfortunate duds of society. Ask anyone and they'll tell you as much. But me, I know that they are, underneath it all, just young men; and young men have very traditional values and preferences."

I blink a couple of times, absorbing this in, when all of a sudden, Lily pulls her shirt up over her head and there's a collective gasp around the room. James's face goes bright red and then crashes down to a pale white as he takes in the sight of Lily Evans standing before him in just a pink bra, holding her shirt in her hand.

"Well, I say shirts off to the Marauders," says Lily, giving them a nod of her head and a few claps of her hands. "They are truly fine gentlemen."

She smirks at us and slips her shirt back on, giving Alice a poke on the shoulder because she's apparently going next. Alice, in sheer disbelief, gets up and lets Lily take a seat, but we're all just shocked. Lily is so crude – I mean, I know she generally has a high capacity for being bizarre, but this is pushing it. Judging by this, she's nearly as big a whore as Alicia and that's saying something.

The Marauders are having trouble accepting the fact that Lily actually took her shirt off for them voluntarily, so they skip the 'Thank you, Lily, you did marvelously' bit in favor of clearing their throats, breaking the awkward silence, and telling Alice that she was next.

As Alice prepares to go, I can't help but feel annoyed somewhere in the back of my mind that I have to go last. I hate not going first. I hate having to comply with other people's standards when I can set them on my own. I honestly don't care what other people are doing because it's not at all important to my personal goals. I think I'll be a bit happier when we do the next challenge and we pick the order and I can go in before the other girls. But for now, I have to watch Alice do her commercial before I can do it myself.

Alice considers what to do – as if she hasn't already had plenty of time to think it through – and she ends up conjuring a colorful light show with her wand and letting confetti and bubbles rain down on the Marauders. Sirius in particular enjoys the bubbles, but Alice's wand prowess is quite good and the boys are quite pleased – at least it didn't involve any awkward stripping in front of everyone else.

"Thanks Alice," says James. "You did a really nice job. Do we have anyone else left to go tonight?"

"Yes, me," I say, rising to my feet and letting Alice take my chair. "I still have to go."

"Of course you do, Lucy," says Sirius with a wink. "I'd hate to forget about you."

"I don't see how you could," I tease. Sirius grins.

"Go ahead, Lucy, let's see what you've got," he says.

I don't need any irritating prep time like the other girls needed. I know exactly what I'm going to do and I dive right into it.

When I was young, I used to take tap dancing classes because my older sister took them and I thought it was fun to wear the cute, noisy shoes. I've since quit, but I do still remember a few moves and so I tap-dance (quite well, too, I might add) to a little Marauder propaganda, and how they are the only people who truly step out of boundaries and become extraordinary. I think it's a bloody fantastic idea and I have no idea why I don't get more applause when I'm through – I mean, I do get some, but who wants some applause when they can have more?

I _danced _for them, something none of the other girls did. I think I ought to get some more respect, but I'm sure the respect I did get is probably one that only people of deeper understanding can generate. Not everyone can appreciate a good dance nowadays, sad as it is.

"Er, thank you for that, Lucille," says James. "Nicely done. So…that would be it, then?" He looks around at us girls, sitting and turning our heads so we can see them properly. We nod, because we've all finished our turns. James nods back.

"Right then, we're all good!" he chirps, getting up to stand in front of us, his friends following suit. "Thank you, ladies, for participating in today's challenge."

"It's been interesting, to say the very least," says Sirius with a wink.

"We'll have judging and the next elimination tomorrow afternoon, as usual," says Peter. "Meet us in the first unused classroom we were in – we're running out of meeting places."

"Like we remember where that was!" says Alicia indignantly.

"All right, all right, meet us by the Room of Requirement then," says Sirius impatiently. "You're all dismissed. Thanks for playing. See you tomorrow." He waves his hands at us and we have no choice but to retreat out the door, not as big a clump as we've been before since there are only six of us left.

The moment we're out in the corridor and the door is closed, leaving the Marauders safely out of earshot, Alicia turns to look at us, her grin wide and almost spooky in the musty, partial-light.

"So, girls," she says in a low, husky tone. "There are six of us today, but tomorrow it'll only be five of us. Who's going to be eliminated this time?"

No one really responds, leaving Alicia to chat with Sadie about how the rest of this competition is going to be like now that we're close to being half done, but her question lingers in my mind as we make our way back upstairs to the warmth of the school body.

Who will be eliminated this time?

To be honest, I think it will be Sadie, but with any luck, it will be Alicia's turn very soon; and the games will continue.

--

A/N: Okay! Wow. That was **an interesting chapter to write**. It **took me about forever **to get it done, but it's **done now **and I **hope it was fun** for you guys. Lucille is just **a hoot to write as**, even if she is a bit of a bitch.

You guys are going to **fall in love **with Chapter 13. Stay tuned.

And **don't forget that bit with Lily and Lucille**. It'll be important **later**. Plus, I'd be much obliged if you could **forgive my tiny typos**. When I'm finishing up, I **tend to be in a rush**.

Oh yeah, and coming up next chapter…

A **sarcastic narrator**.  
A _walk by the lake_.  
A complete turn-around.  
A _girl conflicted_.  
An **elimination**.

Drop a **review on the way out** and I'll see you next chapter!


	13. And Then There Were 5

A/N: **Never **did I dream this story would get so much attention. **Thank you** so much. Generally, (obviously) I **do like words**, but when it **comes to how mine are received, they fail me**. You are all **sensational**. And I need to **get more adjectives from the Thesaurus** so I can continue to remind you **how often you make this girl's day**. Your support is **overwhelmingly wonderful**.

And **wow**. Some of you **really hate Lucille **– it's quite **amusing** to me. I decided to **take that as a compliment**, because I've been able to **write such an obnoxious character effectively**. Ha!

Well, this chapter is **set up a little differently**, so the **elimination comes first**. Then there's **more good stuff**. Trust me, you guys **will have fun with this**.

Enjoy!  
Xx

--

**Lily Evans**

--

After last night, I am a quieter girl on my way out of the challenge room.

Oh yes, I know, how strange – Lily Evans, of all people, being quiet. But it does happen sometimes. As difficult as it is to remember sometimes, I am indeed human.

If I'm honest, I admit that the reason for this newfound hush is that rat Lucille. I just can't forget about what she said to me yesterday when she, Alicia, and I were arguing. She told me I was a total bitch. She told me I treated the girls like crap. Maybe she didn't say these things directly, but it was implied and now it has me thinking…

Am I really that big of a bitch? Am I that horrible to have around? Because if I am…then things need to change. I know I'm a lot of things – a _lot _of things – but I'm not a terrible person. I'm just not as open as the rest of the girls are. It takes more than a few days of an idiotic game to get under my skin. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

I don't know. That's the thing, I don't know.

Once we girls are out of the Potions wing and have successfully navigated our way to the warmth of the Room of Requirement, I can tell Alice is curious about my silence. She asks me when she knows the other girls aren't listening – she wonders aloud what's wrong with me. I tell her I'm tired and I can see she doesn't believe me, but I retreat to bed at any rate. I am the first one to do so, leaving everyone else to gossip away as they please. I'd bet my Gringotts account that I will be one of the topics on the agenda.

But I'm not worried. I know how girl gossip works – since I am oftentimes part of it – and I know that after they've worn themselves out discussing, they won't care anymore. It'll be as good as forgotten. I have nothing to worry about.

And sure enough, by the next afternoon, everyone has forgotten all about how I wasn't talking. By now, they are all buzzing about the little stunt I pulled the other day in the challenge.

"Lily, that was damn _fantastic_," proclaims Alicia as we loiter in the Room of Requirement corridor in wait of those perpetually-late Marauders. "Honest – I wish I'd thought of that."

"Thank you," I say icily. She wants to be the one to think of stripping before me? That Alicia…she is definitely in a league of her own. In a somewhat-bad way.

"No, really, it was funny," she insists. "You should've seen James's face! He looked like he was going to go into coronary!"

Indeed he had looked like that. That was part of the reason I'd done the whole thing, to be honest; I thought it would be amusing to treat James to a glimpse of the body he has spent his teenage life making jokes about. He took it better than I expected.

"Yes, he did look like he might go into coronary," I agree distantly.

Honestly, I am really not in the mood to talk to Alicia, but then with a jolt, I remember what Lucille had said about me and I rethink my original response. I give Alicia a big smile, which slightly startles her.

"You know, your commercial was great too," I tell Alicia. "It was definitely different. I love your flips. How did you learn to do them?"

I see the excitement ignite in Alicia's electric-blue eyes and she eagerly goes off on a tangent about how she first got into gymnastics and how she really couldn't think of anything else that would impress the Marauders. I half-listen, half-tune out, but Alicia just seems to be happy if _any_one doesn't cut her off. It's kind of sad, how puppy-like she is.

However, it's not _that _sad.

The moment she takes a breath, I nod politely and scoot over to talk to Alice, who is watching in amusement. I've had enough socializing with Alicia for one day. Alice grins at me.

"Wow," she says. "That was so unlike you – I thought Alicia bothered the bloody hell out of you. What brought that on?"

"I just…I think I ought to be a bit nicer, that's all," I say. "I did Alicia a favor. It's nothing big."

Alice is mightily impressed. "Lils…you're actually cooperating with someone who cares about this competition. _Wow_. I'll ask again – what brought that on?"

I bite my lip and sigh. "Okay," I give in, speaking in a low voice so no one hears me. "See…the night before yesterday's challenge, Lucille told me I was a terrible bitch. That hurt. So now I'm on a mission to be nicer to everyone else and I would love it if you didn't hinder my progress by laughing at me or something."

"Love, why would I laugh when you're doing something so normal and constructive?" Alice smiles and gives me a hug. "Baby steps, baby steps…but this is very good. As much as I hate Lucille, I must thank her for this one."

"Shove off," I say, giving her a rough nudge.

She chuckles impishly. "Lils, I love you to bits and you know that. This is a big step in the right direction. Go on, go be nice to Alicia. Maybe if you're on a roll, you could do us all a favor and hex the pants right off of Lucille."

I roll my eyes. "You are such an arse," I accuse her. "But I would do that, certainly. It's just a question of when."

"Nah, don't do it," says Alice. "She's not worth it."

"There's that…" I consider. "But at the same time, hearing her scream gives me a sadistic pleasure like none I have ever known before…"

Alice giggles and we continue to speculate the particulars of hexing the pants off Lucille, but we are rudely interrupted by the arrival of the very-loud Marauders (except Remus the quiet sweetheart), who take it upon themselves to announce, "Hello, ladies! Let's get ready for our next elimination!"

Yeah. All right. What's wrong with a simple, "Hello, how are you?" Or are those not fashionable enough for our precocious Marauders?

Sometimes, they are just so bloody stupid; but because I'm on my 'nice' streak, I keep this very true remark to myself and face the boys with as neutral and expression as I can muster.

"All right, ladies, let's going with the judging and elimination then, shall we?" says Sirius with a clap of his hands, looking perhaps more excited than he should at this prospect. "This is going to be a fun challenge to pick apart, don't you think?"

No one responds and I bite my tongue to keep myself from retorting. A slightly metallic taste fills my mouth and I discover I had to draw a little blood to make sure I remained a good little girl. Irony of ironies, I think. But oh well.

Sirius gestures for us to follow him and we pass a couple of back corridors (with all their various conquests, I suppose back corridors are very popular among these boys) until we reach a vaguely familiar classroom. Sirius and James herd us in together and trail in after us, settling in at the teacher's desk and looking upon our clump of six girls, waiting for their opinions.

Sometimes, I feel like a slab of meat when I'm here for judging – like they've collected together the best turkeys they can find and are in the process of rooting out the bad ones so they can use the best one for Thanksgiving dinner. And now we are waiting to see which of us will be released today.

It's kind of lame, to be honest. We're all just people here, not slabs of meat ready for inspection. Some of the girls here are older than the Marauders, but they play along anyway. This is a faulty system; but I am a Good Girl now, not a muckraker. I'd better keep my mouth shut, no matter how much I don't want to. Things go by faster when you do that.

"Hello, ladies," says Sirius, grinning. "How are you lot?"

Fine, fine, we're fine, Sirius. Duh. We're standing right in front of you. Move on, why don't you? Preliminaries are bloody useless.

"Right then, it's been nice talking to you," he says. "So…it's time for judging. I would like to call Verity up to the chopping block first today."

Nodding sedately, Verity obliges and stands before Sirius, tall and quiet and sturdy as ever. Verity has a silent energy to her that I can't help but admire. She's almost regal as she calmly surveys the boys – she's way too good for them.

"Hey Verity," says James, grinning. "You look nice today."

"Thanks," says Verity.

"So for your commercial, I believe you sang a song – am I right?" asks James.

"That is correct," confirms Verity.

"Well, I thought it was bloody fantastic!" Sirius announces. "You are a great singer – and even though you were making rhymes up on the spot, they were quite good."

"Your voice is powerful," says Peter. "You were very much in-control and your performance was enjoyable."

"I'd say a nine out of ten," says James.

"What, so now we're rating them out of ten now?" Remus is vaguely annoyed by this.

"I dunno…maybe we are," answers James.

"Oh, don't be a killjoy, Moony," says Sirius, ruffling Remus's hair. "Let him rate the girls out of ten if he wants to."

Remus ducks to avoid any further ruffling from Sirius's hand and gives Verity a tired smile.

"Thanks, Verity," he says. "You were wonderful. Next…erm…"

"I want Lucy," says Sirius, contenting himself with a big hug for Remus and then subsiding. "Lucille, you're up."

Smiling like the self-important fool she is, Lucille struts up to the front, facing the Marauders as though she's fabulous or something. For the record, she isn't. She is annoying prat who really needs to leave today, if the Marauders have any brain cells whatsoever. But because I'm on a roll, I don't say anything.

"Hi," says Lucille.

"Hey Lucy," says Sirius. "So you were our…dancer, yes?"

"Yes, indeed," says Lucille proudly.

"Well…" Now James takes over, looking a little uncertain. "To be honest, I didn't like it."

Finally, James says something right! Point for James. He's up from negative eight to negative seven. Hooray for small miracles.

However, Lucille certainly doesn't see this as a small miracle. Her expression immediately goes into one of extreme hurt and concern.

"What?" she asks.

"I'm really sorry, but I didn't like it," repeats James apologetically. "I thought it was boring and I would've liked to see you do something a little more…memorable."

Is it just me or is he giving me a very significant look right about here?

"Mmm…I'm sorry too, Lucy, but I have to agree with Prongs on this one," says Sirius, making a face that is supposed to be remorseful but ends up looking like he swallowed a lemon whole. Sirius is horrible with concern. "You just…you fell flat."

I can imagine Lucille is pretty distraught about this remark, but there is more. There is much more. Has Christmas come early or something?

"You know, Lucille, you started off very strong in this competition, but you've been steadily declining ever since," says Peter. "Your performance is getting weaker. I'm feeling like you're…fading away."

Remus sighs. "They're all right, Lucille," he says. "At first, you were quite charming, but nowadays, I don't think your particular brand of charm is doing you any good."

"Leave it to Moony to say 'You're being a prat' that nicely," says Sirius with a snort. "Not to say you're being a prat, Lucy, but I mean, that's the vibe he's going for. So insensitive."

Remus rolls his eyes. "All I'm saying is that we told her to kick it up a notch last elimination, but she hasn't," he says. "That's a problem."

Lucille looks like she might cry at any second, but James dismisses her and she comes back to us, her lower lip trembling like she's five years old. Lucille's the only one who is narcissistic enough to be surprised by critique and melodramatic enough to drive us all mad over her own faults – it's a deadly combination, apparently.

"Erm…next is…" Remus considers, choosing a girl from his steadily-shrinking list of names.

"Lily!" Sirius shouts out before Remus can open his mouth. "Lily, Lily, Lily! You're up!"

Ah, well. At least one of us is excited for this. I assume I am now going to reap the rewards/lectures for my little stunt the other day. Sirius certainly looks excited enough to harp on and on about it for a few minutes.

"So, now we have Lily, our dear ickle stripper," says Sirius fondly, smiling his big smile at me. "Ha!"

"I definitely wasn't expecting that," admits Peter. "I mean, when we did that first photo-shoot, you went ballistic when we asked you to wear that outfit."

I shrug, privately enjoying the befuddlement and general mystification on those boys' faces.

"I dunno," I say, doing my best to suppress my laughter. "I suppose I was inspired."

"It was original, I'll give you that much," says Remus, his half-smile knowing.

I can't help but smile/blush a little at Remus, who is too damn precious for his own good. He's so adorable, sitting there and grinning at me with those dimples of his. I chuckle, but the laughter dies as me, the girls, and three of the Marauders turn our anxious eyes to James, who has still not given his worldly opinion on my performance.

Will he like me or will he hate me? His vote is the one that counts, after all.

I am weighing out the options in my head, until –

"I thought it was fantastic," proclaims James. "You've got balls, Lily. Quite literally, come to think of it. Well done for not caring what anyone would think – you're bold as hell and I've always admired that about you."

He smiles at me, something sweeter than I would have predicted adorning his features. I smile back at him without thinking and it's too late for me to take that back.

I can almost hear everyone breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thanks," I say, and I rejoin the group before he gets the chance to dismiss me.

I figure that no one, not even the Marauders, can order me around – no matter how nice I currently feel.

After me, James calls Alicia up for judging. Alicia is happy to accommodate the request, skipping up like a schoolgirl high on sugar-cookies, and James's smile retains its warmth. Actually, I'd bet it gets even warmer as she approaches – much warmer than it was for me. I make a mental note to rub this in Alice's face later, since she still sports her crack-pot theory that we belong together. I take my place beside her and watch Alicia say her flirtatious hello's with the Marauders.

She apparently makes some sort of joke, because at once, James laughs, and says, "Right then, Alicia! For your commercial…you were our gymnast, yeah?"

"Yes, I was," says Alicia with a banana-split-esque grin. "How did you like it?"

"I thought it was lovely," says James serenely, that oh-too-familiar flirting face he's got rising a little too close to the surface. Why isn't she running away screaming yet? Oh, wait, yes, I remember now – she actually likes the irksome sod. "It was really quite lovely. You've got a nice arse."

"I can second that one," Sirius adds, smirking affectionately at her. "But aside from that, all I can say is that you are consistently a great player in this game. You're cute, confident, and do in fact have a nice arse. Perfect score in my book."

"Thanks, Sirius – it actually somewhat means a lot," says Alicia, her smile mischievous.

Remus chuckles. "On a less…ahem, physical level, you're a fun girl to have around," he says. "I never quite know what you're going to do next."

"They took all the good compliments," says Peter, throwing the boys playful scowls, "so let me just say you're brilliant. An all-around great girl."

"You're too kind." Alicia gives them a pompous little curtsy before skipping back to the group, shining under the light of the Marauders' compliments.

I have never been able to put my finger on exactly why I loathe Alicia as much as I do – I mean, I do have my official reasons, which are that she's a hyper, annoying flirt, but that argument dies fast when she's in my presence. It's just something about her that I can't stand…something instinctual she ignites in me that won't go away.

Maybe it's this, I muse, as the boys praise Alice's wand prowess ("Not the most exciting, but definitely bloody impressive!" – that would be the ever-eloquent Sirius). Maybe it's watching her get the same kind of attention that I've always hated and watching her glow instead of repel backwards as I always have.

Maybe it's that she's like me, only more agreeable (although, Lucille loathes Alicia more than she loathes me, so I can't be so sure of this one).

Maybe it's that she's…naïve, passionate, quirky, earnest. All those things that annoy the living hell out of you but don't actually turn you off of someone. I can't figure out if her particular brand of charisma works for me or not, so I go with not, because I instinctually push people away before I bring them in.

I dunno. I really don't. But now is not the time to be thinking about it.

Alice is done by the time I bring my head back to Earth and I can tell she's had a good critique – she's smiling and the Marauders are smiling too, relaxed and cracking jokes and Sirius is ruffling Remus's hair again for the sake of annoying him. We only have one more girl to go and that would be Sadie.

Oh, Sadie, our car-crash this challenge. I hope they're kind when they judge her and rip her to bits – because as much as I hate to even think it, Sadie didn't do so well this time around and I would rather drink acid than have Lucille remain another day in this competition. I hold my breath as Sadie hesitantly walks up to the front, facing the Marauders, her charming olive eyes clear and gorgeous.

"Hey," she says.

"Hi Sadie," says Sirius pleasantly, waving at her. James waves as well, laughing, and Sadie blushes a darker red than she ought to.

"Wow. Okay, that was interesting," says James. "And what did you do, Sadie? I honestly can't remember."

"Which is a bad sign," adds Sirius.

"Don't be rude," chastises Remus.

"You're so ethical," Sirius marvels, resting his cheek briefly on Remus's shoulder until Remus shakes him away. Sadie looks a little terrified, but not too much. Yet.

"I…I did a monologue," she stutters. "You really don't remember?"

James ponders for a moment, then says, "Oh yes, now I remember. Yeah. That Slytherin in the corridor story."

Sadie goes even redder – if it's possible.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles. "I…I don't think so well on my feet. If you gave me more time to prepare, I would've thought of something more remarkable."

"Well, I mean, it's fine if you try and do a monologue," says Remus, taking over, "and it wasn't too bad. It's just that you were so nervous that all we noticed was you shaking and stuttering."

"I had no idea what I was saying!" Sadie defends.

"I know, but you've got to make us want to support you anyway," says Remus patiently. "You can't do that if you don't support yourself."

"Sadie…sometimes, I forget you're even here," Sirius admits. "You need to come out – _way _out. The competition is getting ahead of you and we don't want to lose you just yet."

"Being the shy one in the group is all right, but don't let it get the best of you," advises Peter. "We want to adore you despite that, you know what I mean?"

Sadie is definitely worried now. Clouds are passing over those olive eyes of hers; but, to her credit, she is holding her own, accepting this painful critique with a firm nod of her head.

"All right," says Sadie. "Thank you."

"No problem, love," says Sirius. He scrutinizes the list and looks back at all of us, surprised. "Well, it seems like we're done now!"

"Weird," comments Peter.

"I know, right?" Sirius sighs dramatically. "But either way, it's time for us to deliberate which of you adorable young ladies will reduce our number to just five. Time to go."

I exchange looks with Alice – determined, slightly unnerved – and we walk out together with the other girls into the corridor, allowing the door to shut with a resolute snap behind us.

**&**

Lucille and Sadie are freaking out as we wait outside. Lucille is wailing about how they don't seem to like her anymore (did they ever?) and Sadie is quietly disintegrating at the thought that she is not secure enough with herself for the Marauders. Alicia covers for Sadie, hugging her and wringing her shoulders and providing her unique brand of motivation; and all of us have pretty much learned how to tune Lucille out. I lean my head against the wall and watch the ceiling until Sirius calls us back in.

As ever, James is standing there, deadly solemn and staring straight out ahead, like he's about to make a human sacrifice to the gods or something. He looks half grim and half laugh-nervously-out-loud ridiculous, but I keep my mouth shut and play along.

"I don't need to explain how this works anymore," says James. "I am calling up girls in order of best to worst and the first name today is…Lily. Well done."

Wow. It's been two panel-sessions in a row that I've been called first now. I'm slightly suspicious of this – mostly because James is one of the judges – but all right. Fine. I'll give them my good-little-girl smile and retreat off to the side, waiting for four more girls to join me here. I cross my fingers and hope Alice won't go – although I doubt she will.

"The next name I'm going to call," says James after the silence has swirled around the room for a little bit, "is Alicia. Congratulations."

Oh, these silly Marauders. I believe this happened last time too. Me and Alicia, the two mad-hatters of this competition – the two favorites. Maybe I should get used to sharing my status with Alicia. She excitedly puts her hand up for a high-five when she bounds over to me and I give her one. She is quite pleased with herself.

"The next name I'm going to call," says James, "is Verity."

Verity ambles over to us, making our group three. Only three others remain standing in front of the Marauders. Damn, this count comes sooner and sooner ever panel…

"The next girl is Alice," says James.

Catching my eye and smiling gratefully, Alice scurries over to me and whispers, "That was close!"

"You weren't going to go home," I whisper back. "It was just a matter of when they called you."

"Still." Alice takes a deep breath and the two of us turn our attention back to Lucille and Sadie, who are still standing there, both looking like their hearts are going to regurgitate out their throats.

"Sadie and Lucille, will you please step forward?" requests James.

With the way Lucille is desperately staring at him, I think she would lick the dirt off the bottom of his shoe if he let her stay in this competition. She and Sadie step forward and the room tenses. Lucille has been in the bottom two for a while now. Hopefully this is the magic day when this number (three? Four?) becomes one number too high.

"So…you both are here for the opposite reasons, actually," says James softly. "Sadie, you're here because you lack the self-belief that you're worth it – which is weird, because you're absolutely phenomenal."

Sadie hangs her head in shame. I can practically hear her thoughts, screaming at him to give her another chance, just one more chance. Sadie loves being in the competition. She doesn't want to go. Oh please, James, don't let her go.

"You, on the other hand, Lucille, have too much self-belief," says James, "and the quality of your performance has yet to improve. I'm all for confidence, but you've got to come half-way and live up to the hype, you know what I mean? We told you all this last time and gave you another chance to prove it to us, but it seems that it takes you longer to process our advice than we would like."

His blazing hazel eyes bore into the girls, so scarily intense that it actually sends chills down my spine. We are on the brink of the revelation. No one's breathing. If I'm honest, I am pretty tense here myself – because whatever his faults, James Potter is certainly good at creating drama.

"So Sadie, step out of that shell and give us more," says James gently. "We know you've got it. Now we want to see it."

Sadie buries her face in her hands with emotion, but we can hear a muffled thank you as she stumbles towards us, bumping into Alicia and then hugging her, so shocked is she that she almost left. Alicia hugs her back, giving her a squeeze and whispering, "Yes!"

Lucille, on the other hand, does not take the news well at all. She collapses to the ground as though she fainted, an animal sound leaving her lips as she bawls into her hands, horrified and distraught. I know I am not the only one taken aback by this sudden reaction.

"I-I-I don't want to go!" wails Lucille, desperately swiping at her tears and looking up at James from the ground. "I can't b-believe I have to g-g-go already!"

"Erm…we're sorry, Lucy," says Sirius, bewildered, from his seat. "But it's just a game. You don't have to, you know, take it so hard."

James is speechless and Lucille bursts into tears once more – it's so awkward and quiet aside from her wracked sobs. We all look on helplessly, watching her cry, until Remus takes pity on her and coaxes her up to her feet.

"C'mon," he says. "Let me take you to your dormitory."

Being the sweetie he is, he puts his arm around Lucille's shoulder, allowing her to clutch him and cry into his shirt, and he escorts her out of the classroom, leaving the rest of us there to blink several times and absorb this new bit of information. None of us girls really have the heart to celebrate Lucille's loss after that – even Alicia is uncomfortable.

"Erm…" says James loudly, obviously, oh-so-tactfully, since the only sensitive Marauder is currently not here. "Er…I suppose you're all dismissed now. Go ahead – you can go."

That's pretty much the only logical option left for us, so Alicia herds us five out to the classroom door. Sirius and Peter follow suit, zipping out in front and fleeing the scene. I feel like it's after class and all I want is to lie back and talk to Alice about what just went down. We (me and Alice, I mean) are bringing up the rear as Alicia, Sadie, and Verity exit the room and I am about to get out, when all of a sudden, I hear James speak again.

"Hey Lily? D'you mind staying back here for a moment?" he asks.

Surprised, I turn around and there he is, standing where he had been, looking at me. The seriousness of the past couple of minutes has not left his eyes and I can find no reason in me to decline him this favor, so I tell the extremely astonished Alice next to me to go ahead and I step back into the room, standing a few meters from him, curious.

"Yeah?" I ask.

James chews on his lower lip, taking in the sight of me, as if he's measuring me up or something. I hate it when he does this – I feel like a slab of meat all over again.

"Would you…take a walk around the Black Lake with me?" he finally requests.

Wow. Okay. I wasn't expecting that one.

On any other day – and I mean it, _any _other day – I would have said no, thanks, sorry, I have things to do. But today, because I'm suddenly some sort of good girl and he hasn't been annoying me as much lately, I surprise us both by saying, "All right. Do you want to go now?"

"Yes," says James. "It's a little nippy out, but it's not too bad."

"Wait for me here," I say. "I want to get my sweater from the Room."

"All right," says James.

I nod and walk as sedately as I can out of the classroom, holding my composure as though this isn't a big deal, oh Merlin no, I'm totally cool. But the second I am safely in the corridor, I sprint like I never have before to the Room of Requirement on a sudden burst of adrenaline.

I crash into the room just as the other girls are approaching. They are quite surprised to see me like this – Alicia and Alice immediately begin asking me what I'm doing – but I ignore them all. They can't know what I'm doing. I'll tell Alice later. Gritting my teeth, I find my sweater lying conveniently on my bed (oh, how I love this room…) and I grab it, skidding to a halt outside the room and changing direction so I can rejoin James by the classroom.

When I come close, I start walking sedately again and when I come to James, I look nonplussed, perfectly fine. I've smoothed my hair out and the nervousness doesn't show on m face (I hope). I smile pleasantly.

"Hey, I got it," I say.

"You were fast," he notes.

"I walk fast," I respond.

He nods, seeming to accept this answer, and then he simply says, "Let's go, then."

**&**

Walking with James to the Black Lake turns out to be even more awkward than I could have ever imagined.

He's like a really bad blind date or something, once he and I are alone. He's quiet and makes it impossible for me to get in a word without feeling like I tread on someone's cat. Instead of being funny and mad like he was when he and Sirius were judging, he is reserved, passive. He makes me feel like a graceless bull when I interrupt the silence – which is weird, because being the graceless bull is usually his job.

But once we get outside and get started on the well-worn path along the glittering lake, we get to the talking part of the conversation and it's a little less awkward.

"So…Lily, how are you?" asks James.

"Erm…I'm fine, thanks," I say. He nods. Hesitant pause ensues. Uh oh; I clear my throat. "So…that was some elimination back there," I say.

James snorts. "I know," he says. "I didn't expect her to take it that hard."

"No one did," I say fairly. "But we had her pegged as a drama queen from the start. At least, we females did."

"Eh, we knew she was a drama queen, but we thought we'd put her in for a spot of fun," confesses James. "Sirius's idea; and once Peter seconded the motion and Remus ditched us in favor of Transfiguration homework, we had no choice but to put her on the roster."

Recalling Lucille's statements about Alicia and how James only picked her because he wanted to get over me (I wanted to die when she said that), I swiftly become quite interested in knowing a little bit more about why some of the girls we have are in this competition – or were, before they got eliminated.

So I ask, "Lucille was like your joke on us, then?"

James, sensing nothing, says, "Not really, no. She's got a bit of a reputation among us blokes for being amusingly dramatic, so we figured we'd get a closer look for ourselves."

"Were there any other such girls?"

"No," says James. "I mean, we had a pretty wide range of criteria. We picked Georgiana because Sirius fancied a look at her in a swimsuit – he enjoys the full, curvy types. We picked Sadie because Remus demanded we have someone mild play along, Rosaline because again, Sirius wanted to see her in a swimsuit, and Verity mostly because none of us have any clue who she is. I can't remember specifically why we picked everyone else."

"Why did you pick me?" I ask quickly.

James's expression is puzzled. "Because you're…you. Why wouldn't we pick you?"

"Because you knew I wouldn't like it," I say.

"Remus and Peter leaned towards that argument," says James fairly, "but to be honest, I was curious."

"So you put me in." It's not a question, it's a statement – one that is accompanied by my famous one-eyebrow-arch.

"Yes," says James simply. "And that's mostly why I wanted to go on the walk with you – I wanted to know how you felt about this whole competition so far."

His eyes have that serious tinge to them now, the one he gets when he's about to eliminate one of us. Of course he wants to know how it's going. I am his little guinea-pig, aren't I? He needs to check in with me, store the information somewhere deep inside that convoluted head of his, and use it to his advantage.

I know his game by now. We've known each other for six years and he's heavily flirted with me for three of them – it's kind of inevitable that I know how he operates.

That's why I say, "It's fine."

And then I do the thing he hates the most – I don't elaborate.

He waits for more, because he's as obtuse as ever when it comes to figuring out how I operate, but it doesn't come. How annoying for him. I continue walking, since it's nice out and the breeze is blowing my hair all over my face, and I refuse to look at him because I know I'll crack up laughing.

A few seconds later, he asks, "…And?"

"And what?" I counter innocently.

"And is there anything else you would like to add?" James's tone is faintly amused, but generally inquisitive, surface-level. "I mean…I want to know. You've changed since the first challenge."

"I have," I agree.

"If I asked you one week ago to go on a walk with me, you would have torn chunks of stone out of the wall and crushed me with them," he muses. "You would have put me in a crate to Peru. You wouldn't have come, but here you are now."

"It's my Random Act of Kindness Day," I say. "I figure I'll do an idiot a good deed, make his day."

He smiles appreciatively at the sarcasm. "No, I'm serious."

"No you're not," I say. "You're not nearly as good-looking."

James half-groans and half-laughs again. "I'm getting sick to death of that pun," he complains. "Sirius sees fit to use it every thirty seconds because he reckons it's so clever."

I am about to make another sarcastic remark, but then I realize how very jokey and friendly this conversation is becoming. Not good, not good, red alert. I don't do friendly with James Potter, no matter how nice I'm being today. No, no. Abort mission. I clear my throat.

"Well, either way, you were saying something?" I prompt.

"Yeah," he says, changing gears with me. "I wanted to know why you came. Why you changed your mind about everything. I figured it would be better to talk to you privately rather than talk to you in front of everyone."

"You figured correctly," I allow, "but I…I really don't know how to answer your question. I suppose I got sick of it. Two stubborn people fighting over some silly game? I decided it would be easier to play along – for Alice's sake and my own. I still don't approve entirely of it, but so long as you don't ask me to get naked or something, I'm fairly indifferent. I don't have a major incentive to play, so I'm…coasting."

James takes this in with a slow, acknowledging nod. It makes sense. Of course it does. Part of it was planned and a lot of it was spontaneous, but hey, it's the best I've phrased it since Alice has interrogated me on the matter. Everyone's happy. I should've written it down for future reference.

"I see," he says. "Well…I mean…do you want to? Win, I mean? Would it mean something to you if you did?"

Interesting question. See, I really hadn't considered the strange possibility that I might win this whole competition. Because of that, I don't know how I would feel about winning. He's caught me off-guard. Damn him…

"Erm…" I stutter. "I…I dunno. It would be odd if I won. I don't know what I'd do with my prize."

"So…what would you do?" he asks again.

"I really don't know," I say helplessly. Then, like lightning, I feel my defenses kick right back up – I eye him suspiciously. "Why do you care?" I ask.

James blushes very slightly, but his voice is quite steady as he says, "I'm one of the judges. I should know how my contestants feel. Most of them have already told me one way or another – you were the only one who hadn't…"

"Are you trying to suggest that you would help me win the competition so you could go out on the date with me?" I demand, completely out of the blue. My tone comes out much sharper than I intended, but I only realize this after the accusing, biting words have slipped out of my mouth. His expression is, at once, one of alarm and some hostility.

"_No_," he disagrees stridently, all superficial comfort from before evaporated in a second. "No, of course not! I would never do that. It's just something I need to know. Even now, I have no clue how to go about you and how to conduct this competition!"

"Oh, is that the case?" I retort quite belligerently.

"Yes, it is!" snaps James. "I mean, you're impossible to keep up with. I never know if you're pissed at me and I should wear a coat of armor, or if you're in a good mood and will actually talk to me like a human being."

"Because you're much better, right?" I say, stung. "You've got me in this weird situation, playing your game for you, and I'm not allowed to react? In case you've forgotten, I am indeed a human being – and human beings have emotions that change from day to day!"

"Not about me, they shouldn't," James insists. "Give it to me straight, then, so I don't bother you about it anymore – do you hate me or not?"

Now and only now do I hesitate slightly, because I'm not sure how to respond. The way he's looking at me – severe, impatient – I can tell he means business. Alice's voice comes floating back to my head, telling me that I need to give him a chance, and in this moment, I can't be sure how much heed I ought to pay her opinion.

Part of me wants to tell him I hate him so I can storm off angry, like I usually do, and we can keep our distance. But another stranger, newer part of me tries to soothe me, bring me down to the ground, back to my senses – that part of me wants me to say that even though he's irksome to the millionth degree, I don't _hate _him anymore.

These two voices clash horribly in my head, their advice conflicting, and I need to take a couple of breaths before any kind of a decision tumbles out of my mouth.

"I…don't hate you," I say carefully, "but that doesn't mean I like you."

"What does that mean?" His voice is colorless, but his face has all the emotion he won't let into his words. It makes me oddly nervous.

"It just means…that I need to go now," I say, resigned. "It probably was a mistake to come out here in the first place; I should've known it would end up like this."

"Like what?" A flicker of annoyance ignites in these two words. "And I'm rather hurt that you consider walking with me a mistake."

The answer to this is perfectly clear to me in my own head, but it's complicated, understood on an instinctual level rather than a diplomatically-stated one. I honestly can't tell him what I'm feeling and if I could, it would take longer than these seconds he's attempting to throw at me.

I _can't do this_. I just can't.

And so I count to twelve in my head and look at him with resentment, mild desperation, in the hope that he can somehow read what's written in brain-speak all over my frontal cortex. I don't want to decipher that murky expression he's wearing. I pass twelve in favor of fifteen, and then I turn around, back on the path towards the school I know rather than the distant grounds I don't, leaving James Potter there in my wake.

One thing is for certain as I trudge to the castle steps:

I am _not _telling Alice about this one. That would trigger way too many theories for my head to handle; and by this point, I think I've got brain goo coming out of my ears.

Not attractive. Not at all.

--

A/N: Well, you **LJ hogs have something to comment about now**, lol. I know it's **not exactly what you would have wanted**, but it's **something** and for that I hope you're grateful. And you **Lucille haters have something to be excited about as well**! This chapter seems to be **about wish fulfillment**, now that I think on it further…

Coming up next chapter…

A **few shots**.  
An _inebriated girl_.  
A touch of tension.  
A _surprise_.  
A **challenge**.

Let me say it now – **I have never written anything like what I've got coming up next**. It could **totally suck, for all I know**. So be **wary** when you venture into Chapter 14.

Since that's all said and done…please go ahead and **review away**, then!


	14. Now You Have to Walk the Talk

A/N: I am **incredibly nervous **about posting this chapter, but you guys are **awesome enough that I trust you not to chuck eggs at me for failing epically here**. You have **incredibly high standards for me **and it's starting to get intimidating. But I do think **this chapter is** **necessary **for other stuff you'll see **later. **So be nice. Please?

And remember – this story is **only 22 chapters** **including**** Epilogue**. That's only **eight more chapters **left. Keep that in mind.

Special thanks to my girl **Niki **who **read this for me **and **told it like it was**. I love you, darling!

So, here this goes. And** do your best** **to keep up** in this emotional marshland, yeah?  
Xx

--

**Sadie Clark**

--

Tonight is a grand night, really; because tonight is _Friday_.

I am so glad for Fridays. We don't have classes tomorrow and I am ready for a break, a nice weekend for just me. Since the elimination was so emotional tonight and the competition is halfway over and the Marauders need some down-time too, the challenge has been put off to Sunday night. I am looking forward to some bonding time with Alicia, Lily, Alice, and Verity tonight and tomorrow. It's only us now, which is quite a scary thought.

After Lucille's elimination, we gather in the Room of Requirement. Lily, for whatever reason, runs in for a sweater and then runs out again without saying why, so it's only four of us sitting in a group. I am utterly enthralled by this.

Who knew I, of all these beautiful girls, would get so far?

I know I'm not exactly the most attractive girl in the bunch. Alicia is funnier and bouncier, Lily is prettier, Alice is sweeter, and Verity is more mysterious. I'm not sure where I fit in on this spectrum of extremes. The thought of me being on the same level as them is simply astounding, because even though I had a bad performance this time, they saw promise in me for the future. I don't want to let them down.

I really could win this competition if I try hard enough; and I think that would be absolutely and unbelievably fantastic.

Sitting here with these girls, smiling and being part of this group, it's one of the warmest sensations I've ever felt. It washes over me like a hot bubble bath and it's like I genuinely belong here, with them, joining in the fun and the conversation.

I am told by those closest to me that I can be shy and introverted, so for me to feel so accepted and comfortable is just short of a miracle.

Alicia is very excited about Lucille's elimination. Her eyes glitter and glow like dark diamonds, reflecting the light in the room, and she says, "So…dear Lucy has departed our presence this evening."

"That she has," says Alice, amused. "It was…quite an exit."

"It sure was," says Alicia, her voice deadly calm and solemn despite her wicked eyes. "But she's gone now. _Gone_."

"And how do you feel about that, Alicia?" I ask, giggling and playing along.

"I feel bloody wonderful!" Alicia bursts out happily, her joy somewhat comical in its authenticity. "This has to be one of the best days of my life! Lucille is _gone_!"

Alice and Verity crack smiles, but Alicia and I laugh together, finding the whole thing hysterical. As she wipes the tears brimming in her electric-blue eyes with hand, she uses her other to squeeze my knee, warm and friendly. I am inexplicably touched by this simple gesture.

In normal, everyday life around the castle, I don't think Alicia and I would ever become friends. She's too sparkly, too popular, too adventurous to notice someone like me in the back of the room, alternating between taking notes and daydreaming. She's one of those people that goes out and does whatever she wants to do while I simply doodle and think about it at night when I can't sleep. If it weren't for the Marauders and this game, I don't think I'd ever run in the same circle as her – and I'm grateful that I do.

Alicia is exciting. She's quirky and funny and she's particular about making sure she includes me in whatever mad conversation she indulges in. She's become my closest friend here and I appreciate her more than I can say.

Watching her now, laughing maniacally and cheerfully stating her delight about Lucille's exit, I can't believe someone like her enjoys being with someone like me.

When you put us two next to each other, Alicia is the firework with a myriad of color in the sky while I am just the water beneath her, elusive and colorless and weakly reflecting the vivid explosion above me.

**&**

On Saturday morning, when all of us are struggling to open our eyes at twelve in the afternoon, Alicia is already awake and bouncing around the room, leaping from bed to bed, shaking us girls. Lily came back after about a half hour of gossiping and went straight to sleep, not even talking to Alice, and she is particularly annoyed with Alicia's jumping, mumbling swear-words before turning over.

"C'mon, you lot, get up!" insists Alicia as she violently shakes me, making my eyes fly open in shock. Now I've got no choice but to sit up and watch. "Get _up_! It's already bloody noon!"

"So I'm guessing you're more of a morning person, Alicia?" This is Alice, sitting up in bed as well and rubbing her eyes, the sarcastic question punctuated by an enormous yawn.

"That I am," confirms Alicia proudly. "I _love_ mornings."

"Lily hates them," says Alice. "I'd suggest you leave her well alone if you want to keep your head."

"You guys are ridiculous," announces Alicia. "Get up!" She gives Verity a shove now, making her groan and flail her arm out, hitting Alicia in the face with astonishing accuracy. Alicia curses, rubbing her nose, and glares at Verity briefly before plopping down on my bed next to me.

"I've got an idea, which is why I'm trying to get you up," she announces.

"What's your idea, Alicia?" I ask, honestly curious. Alicia's ideas are always fun and slightly insane.

Alice sighs and says, "Oh all right then. What's your idea, Alicia?"

"I think we ought to go to Hogsmeade and get pissed," she proclaims.

Alice blinks a few times. "Excuse me?"

"I think we ought to—"

"No, no, I heard you the first time," interrupts Alice. "I'm just wondering if you're bloody mad or something."

"I can be," she says, unabashed.

"Clearly." Alice rolls her eyes and says, "Alicia, it's noon. We haven't even had lunch yet – forget breakfast; we were too late for that. We are not going to go get pissed in Hogsmeade."

"Why not?" Alicia's eyes are so pretty and blue and demure when they look the way they do now. "I mean…we've got all the reason in the world to celebrate! It's nice outside, we've got a day off in Hogsmeade, we are the final five and Lucille's gone. We _should_ go get pissed. Have a bit of fun. We can have a night out together and then go to the judging tomorrow fresh and relaxed."

Well, when she puts it like that, it actually sounds quite appealing. Letting loose and having a bit of fun as just us girls would be nice. I won't necessarily get pissed because I just don't do that, but a couple of drinks with friends won't kill me. I'm all for this plan.

"That sounds great," I say. "I think we ought to do it. What do you girls think?"

Alice sighs helplessly, knowing she's eventually going to be overruled anyway. "Erm…all right, if you're really that keen on it," she relents.

"Yay!" Alicia leaps forward and gives Alice a bone-crushing hug, which clearly surprises poor Alice, who isn't as accustomed to Alicia's particular type of affection. "What about the rest of you?"

Now she turns on Verity and Lily, who are still fast asleep in bed. She puts her hands on her hips, frowning slightly as she ponders what to do next. She then turns on Alice, who is fixing her mussed hair.

"Hey, do you think Lily would want to come along with us to Hogsmeade tonight?" she asks.

"Erm…I could probably convince her to get a few drinks," says Alice.

"That would be wonderful," Alicia says sincerely. "I really hope she can make it."

Alice is still the tiniest bit skeptical about this statement, but I'm not. She won't ever say it directly, but Alicia is quite fond of Lily. I don't know what it is, but Alicia finds her enthralling and very interesting. She talks about Lily all the time – how well she's been doing lately, how amusingly sarcastic she is, her whole situation with James. I think Alicia would call the whole plan off if Lily didn't come along tonight.

However, Lily isn't on Alicia's mind at the moment as she looks at Verity, frowning again, deep in thought.

"Do you think Verity would want to come?" she wonders aloud. "What does she qualify as a fun evening?"

Truthfully, none of us are quite sure if Verity would see this as a good thing or a bad thing. Verity is a very passive individual, not really putting forth an effort to make friends here, so it's impossible to say if she'd enjoy going to the bar.

"You could ask her when she wakes up," I suggest to Alicia. "She should be up soon, I would imagine."

Alicia sighs, finally giving up. "All right," she allows. "I'll ask her later then. And Alice, can you be a dear and make sure Lily's good with it too?"

"Sure, Alicia." I catch the sarcasm in Alice's tone, but I'm not sure Alicia does.

"Great!" Alicia's smile is very wide. "So…I'm off to lunch then and I'd say we should meet up at the Hog's Head at around six. Does that sound good?"

"Why the Hog's Head?" I ask.

"Because I'm friends with the bar-man," says Alicia with a sneaky grin. "He's a fairly recent graduate of Hogwarts himself and doesn't mind handing out firewhiskey to under-age students. And he owes me a favor."

Alice and I exchange a look and it's clear that no one wants to know what kind of a favor the poor barman owes Alicia, but this explanation is plausible enough and I nod.

"All right, that sounds like a plan," I say. "Hog's Head, six o'clock?"

"That's right!" Alicia gives me a thumb's up and retreats with her things to the bathroom, whistling a little tune as she goes.

I shake my head and yawn, beginning to make my bed.

It's going to be a long night.

**&**

For my afternoon off, I decide to retreat into the Gryffindor common room to do homework and lounge about the fire with my best friend in the world, Evelyn. I see her in class each day, but we haven't had the opportunity to really _talk_ in a while, because I'm always doing something for the competition. The moment we sit down together, Evie wants to know everything about it as we slowly work through the pile of homework neither of us wants to do.

As much as I adore Alicia, being with Evie again brings me more happiness than anything or anyone else has in a long time. We spend a lovely six hours in the other's company before I tell her I need to go to Hogsmeade. She comes with me to take a browse in Honeydukes and we part ways so I can go to the Hog's Head to meet Alicia.

When I get there, Alicia's ready and waiting with Alice, Lily, and Verity already in tow. It turns out Verity is content with coming to the bar for a few drinks – she's sipping slowly at her smoldering firewhiskey as Alicia drinks hers in gulps. Alice and Lily haven't had anything to drink yet.

"Hey," I say, beaming as I come in and sit down next to Alicia. "How are you lot?"

"Fine," says Alicia airily before anyone can answer. "Want a drink?"

"Erm…all right, why not?" I've never had firewhiskey before, but I've always wondered what it tasted like. I'm not much of a drinker, myself.

Grinning, Alicia waves down the barman (who is suspiciously cute) and he gets me a drink. I reach into my pocket to get some money, but Alicia puts her hand on mine and says, "Don't worry about it. Tonight's on me."

To the barman, she says, "Put it on my tab, Ernie. And by that, I mean don't you dare charge me or I'll have your arse."

Ernie sighs. "Whatever you want, Miss Harrison," he mumbles in a strong Cockney accent.

"Thanks, Ernie, you're a real pet," says Alicia serenely, cheekily.

Ernie contents himself with a rude hand gesture in Alicia's direction, but Alicia only laughs and turns back to us girls, her eyes brighter than ever. I smile appreciatively and take a cautious sip of my drink. It's hot (duh) but it's very bubbly, very light. I really like it. Enthusiastic, I take another sip and Alicia is excited to see me enjoying it. She takes a few more gulps herself as Alice, Lily and Verity take a few polite sips as well.

Then, with mischief in her eyes, Alicia polishes off the last of her drink and asks, "So…are you ready to kick it up a notch?"

**&**

In Alicia-land, kicking it up a notch is definitely not the demure phrase it appears to be on first encounter.

Basically, with her, that's the cue to start going all-out.

Being silly and cowardly myself, I can't possibly take down a lot of firewhiskey. I stop after about three glasses, which keeps me quite sober, but I can't really say the same for the rest of the girls. They are considerably less inhibited than I am.

Alicia, being Alicia, downs plenty of firewhiskey, becoming swiftly and heavily inebriated, to the point where she's giggling and flirting outrageously with Ernie, who is clearly used to this behavior because of his job at a bar.

Alice follows this example, downing several herself and becoming quite tipsy and red in the face, laughing at everyone and burping and having a hard time keeping herself upright.

Lily is more like Alicia than Alice, becoming far more open and susceptible to uncontrollable laughter. She is constantly poking Alice, who has tears streaming down her face with mirth, and the two of them are a sight to see – a drunk one.

Verity, surprisingly enough, is tipsier than all of them, even Alicia. She is stumbling around like nothing I've ever seen before, falling flat on her bum several times. Her shirt is jostled so much in this process that it comes to expose more of her cleavage than should be revealed in front of a crowd of drunk men. At the moment, she's snogging outrageously with a guy I vaguely recognize as a Gryffindor seventh year and she's far more rambunctious than she would ever let on to us.

In a way, I'm kind of glad Verity's higher than a kite right now – it's a chance to see a different side of her. That girl is far too quiet. She makes _me _look like a chatterbox.

But, since I'm the only one with my brain intact and I can see it's coming perilously close to nine o'clock, I try to convince the girls to come back to the castle with me. We have to be in our common rooms soon if we don't want to get detention and I am not about to break my very clean record tonight.

However, the problem of getting four extremely drunk individuals to listen to reason is far easier said than done.

"Alicia, come on, _please _come with me," I plead, tugging helplessly at Alicia's hand. "Really, we've got to go now. Come along."

"Why are you so fucking pushy, Stacy?" Alicia slurs, giggling stupidly. "I don't wanna come, I don't wanna. Don't make me."

"Alicia," I complain, tugging a little more insistently. "C'mon, darling, come along. Please."

"Make me." Alicia grins and tries to stand up, but immediately topples over, her weight landing on me and tripping us both over to the floor. Surprised, I am hit with Alicia's warm, flushed skin on mine, her breasts pushing into my gut. It takes all the strength I have in me to lift her up and get myself up as well, wrapping her arm around my neck so I can have some semblance of control over her. She has lost all desire for independent movement, relying on me with her legs limp all over the floor.

"Weeee!" she chuckles as she falls to the ground again, resting against the cold floor and rolling about.

Sighing sharply with frustration at the fact that I am now supposed to play mother (which I am horrible at), I give up on Alicia and let her lick the filthy ground with her tongue, moving instead to Lily, who is drunkenly flirting with some other guy in the corner.

"Lily, c'mon, it's time to go," I say, hoping I sound authoritative enough.

"No, Mum, let me stay here a little while longer," whines Lily, giving me a pathetic look as she wraps her arms protectively around the guy next to her, much to his pleasure.

"No, Lily," I say sternly. "Time to go _now_."

"But _Mum_!" she wails.

"Now!" I snap. I'm actually quite surprised at my tone, but it seems to work; sighing resignedly, Lily gives the guy's ear a final slobbery nibble and she stumbles away with me, bemused and disoriented.

One down, three more to go.

I decide to tackle Alice next. She's busy taking shots of whiskey with a bunch of middle-aged wizards egging her on, taking liquor with lemons, with hot sauce, with ketchup. Anything they can get their hands on. Alice is obliging, lifting up her skirt to show off her long legs and downing drinks as commanded. I come right up to her and try the same tactic that had worked for Lily.

"Alice, it's time to go," I command.

"Hell no!" Alice's voice is high, squeaky, and she tilts her head back to enjoy the drink now dripping down her throat. "I like it here."

"Oi, girlie," a horse-faced individual croaks from the side, "I dare you to take five o' them shots in under a minute!"

"You're _on_!" Alice grins a wolf's grin and I am suddenly hit with inspiration.

"Hey Alice," I say, "_I _dare you to stop drinking. I dare you to resist here and come back with me."

"What's my prize?" Alice wants to know.

"Er…what do you want?" I ask, thinking fast.

"I dunno. Money. Fifty galleons," says Alice.

"Sounds good," I say, praying Alice won't remember this tomorrow morning. "Fifty galleons if you'll come back with me right now."

"Deal!" Alice stumbles down from her stool and, much to the dismay of her gaggle of admirers, she steadies herself clumsily, hanging onto me for support. She and Lily now begin conversing in drunken titters, but thankfully following along with me.

Two down, two to go.

My choices now are between Alicia, who is still rolling on the floor, giggling weakly, and Verity, whose mouth is infused with some idiot's in the corner of the bar. I choose Alicia, kicking her until she acquiesces to my demand to come along; and armed with these three tipsy girls, I make my way to Verity.

"OI! VERITY!" I holler.

It takes Verity about thirty extra seconds to hear me and disentangle herself from the guy she's snogging, her lipstick smeared and her shirt more jostled than it perhaps should be.

"Huh?" she asks, her eyes blank and unfocused.

"Verity, it's time to go, darling," I coax. "Come on. Can you come with me?"

"But…he's yummy," Verity informs me, wide-eyed and innocent. "Very yummy, Soddy. I want him."

"I like 'er," the guy says foolishly. "Can I have her? Please?"

"No," I snap. Then I go back to being honey-sweet as I say, "Verity, love, there are other yummy boys for you at the castle."

"Some _very _yummy ones!" Alicia interjects, raising her hand as though she's voting. "They're so yummy that you just…you wanna fucking gobble them up."

"That yummy?!" Verity is excited by this prospect. Being the only sober one here, I am forced to conclude that drunk people speak the same strange language that the rest of us are oblivious to – because as Alicia blithers on ridiculously about yummy Hogwarts boys, Verity grins and joins our group quite easily.

Four out of four have been retrieved. Mission accomplished.

With four girls of varying (and high) inebriation hanging onto me, I slowly make my way out of the Hog's Head. Ernie gives me a dry wave good-bye, but I ignore him. To be frank, I feel like the mother of rambunctious quadruplets. They are singing and whistling and saying nonsense while laughing hysterically about it all – it's mind-boggling. I can barely control them. It takes a lot of kicking and pleading and promising of yummy boys to get them to go where I want them to go.

I feel like a complete idiot.

As I drag the girls along though, their random, scattered conversation turns (inevitably) to romance. I tense up, keeping myself on high alert, because this can never be a good conversation to circulate among girls who are high like helium balloons.

"I love love," proclaims Lily in a loud slur. "You know, I really, really do. I love it. I love snogging boys and having them touch me."

"It's wonderful," Alice agrees, "but I don't have a fucking boyfriend yet. Damnit. Damn that Frank Longbottom. He's so delicious. I want him."

"You know what you ought to do, Alice?" Verity suddenly declares.

"Wha' should I do?" Alice wants to know.

"You ought to go up to that boy, and you ought to give him a big motherfucking snog, right against the wall in the middle of the corridor," says Verity. "Show 'im you're worth it."

"Yeah," says Alice fiercely. "Yeah, you're abso-fucking-lutely right, Verity. I ought to do that. Right now, in fact."

"No, no, no," I cut in at once, alarmed. "Maybe…maybe tomorrow. So you have a fresh start, you know?"

"T-That's a good point," Alice decides.

"Thank Merlin," I mutter.

"I hate being in love, me," Alicia now declares. "It's…it's bloody fucking stupid. Boys let you down. They, like, pretend to love you and then they don't. And they go away and you feel sad and alone. I don't want a boyfriend."

"I love boyfriends," says Verity with a dreamy smile on her face.

"I love 'em too," says Lily.

"I don't," Alicia says stubbornly. "I hate boys."

"So maybe you should date girls," suggests Verity.

"Yeah…yeah, maybe I should," Alicia agrees vacantly. "It would be far more better. Girls are easy. And they're sexy." She draws this last word out so we can all hear it loud and clear.

"Girls are pretty damn sexy," agrees Alice. "I mean…I know I am. I'm very sexy."

"That you are." Alicia grins lopsidedly and licks her lips, making Alice shriek with laughter. I groan.

"Thank you, Alicia," I say.

"No problem, Sookee," says Alicia, nodding solemnly and petting my shoulder with big, exaggerated flapping motions. "You know, you're pretty sexy too. You've got _curves_."

"…Thank you," I repeat.

Alicia giggles and buries her face in my hair, sniffing it deeply. "You smell sexy too," she marvels.

"Hey, Leesha," Lily calls out, "if you could date one of us, who would you date?"

"Mmmm…" Alicia resurfaces from my hair. "Probably Sookee or you. You with the red hair."

"I'm Leely," says Lily, laughing quite a silly laugh.

"Sookee or Leely, then," says Alicia. "But prob'ly Leely. You're so sexy, Leely…"

Now she stumbles away from me and slips her arm around Lily's waist, cuddling up against her and teetering the two of them as though they're on unicycles or something. Normally, Lily would probably swat Alicia away and kick her or something, but with her current condition, she accepts Alicia's weight and cuddles back.

Then –

"Merlin, Leesha, you ought to snog Leely!" Verity shouts as though she's enlightened or something.

"Nah, I don't want to snog her," says Alicia.

"No, no, she doesn't," I say, alarmed all over again. "Verity, no one's snogging anyone, please."

"Oi, why can't she snog me?" Lily demands with a drunken shaking of her loose fist. "She said I was sexy."

"Because…we ought to wait until we get in the castle," I invent. "Then maybe you can snog in the morning. Because right now, it's bedtime."

"Snog 'er!" hollers Verity. "I dare you!"

These are the words that do Alicia in completely. She's always a sucker for a good dare, even when she's on firewhiskey. From the look in her eyes, I can tell there's going to be no stopping her now. She's going to snog Lily and I can't do a thing about it.

"Okay," she says. "I'mma gonna snog you, Leely."

"Go on, then," taunts Lily, stopping dead in her tracks and stumbling just a little to stay straight. "Snog me."

With surprising force, Alicia charges right up at Lily and (Merlin help us all), snogs her full on the mouth.

I bury my face in my hands, refusing to look at this. Oh no.

Verity and Alice are enthralled by this display, whooping and cheering, and when I surface, I see that this dare is going a long way. _Oh no_.

After about twenty seconds, Alicia and Lily disentangle and they grin widely at each other. Holding hands, they give us a sloppy bow before continuing on our slapdash path. Verity is the most excited at the moment.

"Oh Merlin!" she says. "Are you gonna date Leely?"

"No," they say together.

"I don't want to date _anyone_," says Alicia.

"'M more interested in guys, myself," says Lily.

"Okay!" I say. "No more snogging each other, all right? This is getting out of hand. Let's just go back to the castle and…and we can play a game."

"What game?" Alice instantly wants to know.

"Sleeping Beauty," I say. "The first person to go to sleep will get a special, secret prize in the morning, all right?"

"Yay!" Alicia claps so hard she knocks Lily totally off-balance. "That's so great! I'm gonna win, you fudge-heads. Watch it."

"No way!" This is Verity, who is pink and competitive as hell at the moment. "I wanna win!"

"Let's go upstairs to our room and we can play!" I encourage. "Come along! Follow me, or you're already out of the running!"

These are the magic words. The idea of losing a game if they don't follow my instructions is enough to motivate them. Mercifully, I break into a sprint and guide the girls upstairs to the Room of Requirement. It's just a miracle that it's barely nine and the patrol-vultures aren't out and about yet. We practically fly to the Room of Requirement and once I get them in there, they crash on their beds and finally, everything is quiet. Thank Merlin, too, because I've got a wicked headache now.

And I've learned quite a valuable lesson in the midst of this whole mess:

If Alicia ever wants to go drinking again, I am _not _going.

Never, ever again.

**&**

By morning, I am disgruntled and cranky. Hardly surprising, considering I spent much of my night waking up to the wonderful sounds of Alicia and Verity puking. I awaken at sunrise for good and I can't get back to sleep despite desperately wanting to, which leaves me no option but to read a book until it's time for breakfast.

So much for a nice weekend off.

Even though I wasn't drinking much, I feel tender and rather irked. My headache is still lingering in the back of my head like I'm being hit with a dull hammer over and over again. I am not in the mood to do anything. Thankfully, we don't have classes today – I don't think I could take it.

The girls are all fast asleep when I leave to eat, but by the time I return, they are all wide-awake. I am the only one fully dressed, with the rest of them in the clothes they slept in last night. The room feels small with its window hosting a steady stream of musty golden sunlight. However, I can't help but scowl when I arrive after nibbling at some toast and jam.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauties," I gripe.

"G-G-Good morning, Sadie," says Alicia through a yawn. "Blimey, I feel bloody dreadful."

"You're not the only one," I say.

"I can't remember much about last night," groans Lily. "Just…images. Flashes."

"I can't remember anything at all," admits Verity, going as pink as she had been last night, bringing back some painful memories.

"That's just as well – I think you were the drunkest of the lot, Verity," I say. "You surprised us all. At least, you surprised me."

Verity sighs, deflating. "Bad things happen when I go drinking," she admits as though this is a huge secret.

"Bad things happen when anyone drinks," says Alicia. "I'm sure I was being a bloody idiot out there last night."

"No, you don't understand," says Verity, strangely moody. She hesitates a second, and then says in a muted sort of whisper, "I…if you want the truth, I was a bit of an alcoholic until last year. It was bad – awful, actually. I thought I'd cleaned up my act and could take a couple of drinks…but I couldn't. My behavior must have been inexcusable. I'm sorry."

Something about the nature of her statement and the way she delivers it softens me down inexplicably. I feel sorry too. I'm no longer annoyed about her tonsil-hockey-persona making an appearance last night.

"I didn't know that," I say softly. "Otherwise, I would have tried harder to stop you."

"I'm so sorry, Verity," says Alicia, more genuine in this raw morning light than I've ever seen her, coming out of her rumpled bed-sheets to give Verity a real hug.

Lily and Alice are more passive listeners rather than overt huggers like Alicia, but they too are a lot softer as we sit in silence as five friends, taking in the unexpected vulnerability of another. I chew on my lip, looking around at their faces, so contemplative with the morning light hitting them just right.

They feel realer to me here. They aren't just my competition in a silly game the Marauders invented for their own entertainment. They're girls, students here. They're people. I don't know what about this atmosphere strikes me so, but it's stripped down, snug and intimate.

"It was…not a good night for any of us yesterday," I say eventually.

"Weren't you the only one who didn't get completely smashed?" asks Alicia.

"Yeah," I say. "I had to baby-sit the lot of you. Not easy."

"Sweet Merlin," moans Alicia, her face in her palms, regret in her tone. "Sadie, can you tell us what was going on? Please?"

The four girls look to me now, anxious, and I feel like I owe them the truth, but not the whole thing. It's too painful in entirety. To protect them, I decide I'll give them the quick version. I take a breath.

"Well…all of you were flirting with whoever happened to be nearby," I say in a rush. "Then, on the way back, Verity dared Alicia to snog Lily. And…she did."

It takes everything I've got in me to look Alicia and Lily in the eye and I am quite sorry I have to – they are wide-eyed, horrified. Alicia goes from normal, to pink, to red, to pale, and to purple, all in the space of five seconds. Lily's face goes right into her hands. Alice's jaw drops, as does Verity's.

"I did?" Alicia's voice is shaky. "Was it…how was it?"

"Long," I confess. "Involved. Maybe thirty seconds."

Lily hasn't resurfaced. Verity and Alice look on with worry and Alicia is panicked. She's terrified. I bite my lips and I cross the room to sit by Alicia, taking her in my arms and holding her close. She doesn't fight me, resting her soft, short hair against my collarbone, and I feel like her mother all over again. She quivers ever so slightly here, next to me.

"I'm sorry, Lily," she says after a few seconds of silence. Then, without warning, she disappears out of the room. Nothing said, nothing explained – she just leaves. Only when she's gone does Lily look up, a blotchy, embarrassed pink.

"I snogged Alicia?" she asks, thunderstruck.

"I think I vaguely remember it," says Alice, looking almost as thunderstruck as Lily. "I think she…like, she jumped on you."

"You were drunk," I try to defend. "Y-You didn't know what you were doing. It was an accident, a mistake. You and Alicia have to realize that–"

"I do realize that," interrupts Lily. "But she _kissed _me when we were both vulnerable. What does that say about her? And me?"

Alice opens her mouth to say something, anything, that will soothe her best friend, but the words never come. Lily bites her lip and then disappears as suddenly as Alicia did, her ears about as red as her hair. She doesn't come back.

Now, it's only me, Alice and Verity left in the Room of Requirement together. The sunshine from outside is still here, reflecting as it had before, but now it feels empty, bittersweet, since two of our most vibrant companions are out of the room. I sigh, looking sideways at Alice, then Verity, then back to Alice. I think we're pretty much done here.

"Right," I say slowly. "So, d'you two want some breakfast?"

"Didn't you already eat?" asks Verity.

"Yes, but I didn't eat much," I clarify. "I don't mind going with you."

"That would be nice," says Alice, smiling slightly. Somehow, it strikes me just this minute that this is one of precious few times I've ever spoken to Alice on her own without Lily there. I kind of like that. I smile.

"All right," I say. "Let's go get some breakfast."

And, since they are adequately dressed already, the three of us walk together to the Great Hall for a Sunday morning breakfast with very few cares in the world at all.

**&**

After breakfast, we go our separate ways again. Alice goes to hunt down Lily and Verity goes to visit her friends in the Ravenclaw common room, while I go back to talk to Evelyn. I have a lot to fill her in on and I spend much of the day doing that, lounging about by the fire and roasting whatever we can get our hands on – parchment, old quills. She is shocked and delighted in all the right places and reminds me just how much I adore her.

By the evening, I am ready for the next challenge, all rested and relaxed after last night. I took a bit of a power-nap for an hour beforehand (finally) and I feel great. I head to the Room of Requirement at seven, as we had been told, and I find that Verity is the only one there so far.

"Hey," I say to her.

"Hey," she says.

Looking at her slender build, her beautiful eyes, her sweet face, I almost want to say something to her about what she told us in the morning, but then I decide against it. I keep my mouth shut. I find that with Verity, it's easier to share silences than it is to share words – because Verity has a kind of wisdom that doesn't need sound to make it come alive.

Eventually, Lily and Alice arrive together. Lily looks a bit tired and wan, but they both look generally all right with very few hints at what went down at the Hog's Head last night. They smile and say hello, but the atmosphere is not as intimate as it was earlier today. It's a little more passive, slightly embarrassed. I hope it'll subside when the Marauders get here.

Alicia doesn't show up for a while – she comes in several minutes later, out of breath and exhausted, looking particularly small and thin, somehow. Her bright blue eyes are the only vivid color on her today – which is strange, because Alicia usually dresses quite vibrantly. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that I am the only one who notices this.

"Hey, am I late?" she asks. Her voice is also thinner than normal.

"No," I say. "The Marauders aren't here yet."

"Thank goodness," she says.

"Where were you?" I ask out of curiosity.

Alicia blinks. "…Nowhere."

I'm not going to get a better answer than this and I know it. "Okay," I say.

I can sense the gratefulness in Alicia's tone as she sighs and leans against the wall, relieved. I notice that she stands as far away from Lily as possible and Lily avoids Alicia's eyes as determinedly as she can. She is talking in murmurs to Alice, who is looking somewhat distressed.

However, I don't have too much time to ponder this one, because at this specific moment, the Marauders arrive, all four of them, and Sirius chirps his favorite greeting, "Hello, ladies! How goes it?"

What a terrible question to ask today.

We girls exchange split-second glances before I clear my throat and say, "We're fine."

Sirius looks surprised at me. "Sadie," he says. "You're talking. What brought this on?"

"Don't be mean, Sirius, I do talk," I say.

"Yeah, but not often." Sirius smiles, impressed. "But hey. I like this."

I roll my eyes at him and James laughs. "All right!" says James. "Well, we decided to give you girls a day off yesterday, so I hope you're feeling fresh and ready for tonight's challenge. It'll involve a lot of freshness."

Instinctively, I glance at Alicia. She is looking slightly manic today, far too tiny and exhausted and worn-down. She is not fresh today – she is burned out. I hope this doesn't spell the end for her.

"So what's the challenge?" asks Alice.

"The challenge today is…" James gives us a drum-roll on his legs and points at Peter, who says, "Walking!"

My eyebrow arches up and I know it's not the only one to do so. Walking?

"You know, like runway walking," says Peter, slightly upset that we don't understand this very basic concept. "You're basically going to be walking a little runway for us in one of our unused classrooms."

"We were getting it ready before we got here," says Remus. "Unfortunately, my friends are lazy bastards that only realize this ten minutes before we're supposed to meet you here – which is why we're always late."

"Oi, you're the lazy bastard who rarely shows up at the challenges!" Sirius retorts, stung.

"Because I actually have an excuse," Remus reminds him. "Now stop wasting time with an argument you're not going to win and tell the girls about your latest harebrained scheme."

Sirius gives Remus a very sour look and says, "Clearly, Sadie isn't the only quiet one we're having speak up…but anyway! You're in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom today, which is always empty, so you can get dressed. The third year girls are already waiting for you there with dresses and make-up. Once you're done there, I believe Penny is the one who's going to bring you all to the classroom where you will be giving us your fiercest runway walk."

"Your main objectives here are to, essentially, mesmerize us," says Peter. "Keep it strong and confident. Show us that you think you're worth it."

"We'll be waiting for you in our room – when you approach, get in a line and walk in one at a time like a real fashion show," says James, smiling. "So I believe you all know where Myrtle's humble abode is. She knows you're coming. We'll see you in a bit!"

The boys wave to us and depart. The moment their backs are to us, Sirius and Remus can be seen bickering again, presumably about Remus's remark about Sirius being a lazy bastard. We girls turn to look at each other, slightly perplexed.

"So…should we go now?" asks Alice.

"I think we should," says Verity. "Let's just hope Myrtle isn't in a flooding-the-bathroom-and-screaming type of a mood."

This sounds like a plan; so in silence, we five girls cross the various corridors to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

**&**

The first thing a person notices as they step inside the bathroom is that it smells revolting.

The water is not exactly the cleanest water in the world because this is a bathroom that everyone – including the faculty – has given up on using. Myrtle's less-than-hospitable habits (which include splashing people to oblivion) have made it into a bit of a hazard-zone. Years of decay and lack of cleaning has taken its toll and all of us wrinkle our noses on the way in.

When we see the third-year girls standing in wait, they have a Bubble-Head Charm applied to them and they're quite disgruntled. I have to work quite hard not to laugh on first sight.

"Finally, you're here," mutters Sara. "It's bloody awful in here."

"We had to _beg _Sirius for this charm," Penny informs us. "I hope you're happy."

We blink and exchange looks, but we don't say anything. That Penny can be quite a scary one sometimes.

"Anyway," says Penny quite bossily, "we've convinced Myrtle to please go visit the Black Lake for a little while so we can get this whole thing over and done with. There are five stalls for each of you, but only four of us, so one of you will have to wait. We have your names on the stall with your dress in it. Wear the dress and wait for us to come do hair and make-up. Got it?"

"Erm…yes?" Alice is not enjoying Penny's authority in the least – and from the thunderous expression on Verity's face, neither is she.

"Good," says Penny. "Go on, then." She points at the stalls.

I approach the stalls and find the one with my name, Sadie, on the end. I go inside, trying my best to ignore the musty stench in here, and find that the Marauders have left me a very pretty olive-colored dress (presumably to match my eyes) – it's short and strapless with a black sash in the middle. They also left me strappy green heels that match exactly. I'm on the shorter side of life, as the Marauders fully well know, so I suppose this is supposed to make me look taller. Happily, I put it on and I wonder what the other girls are going to be wearing. I sincerely hope they don't upstage me with their goddess-like beauty.

I wear the dress and stand there like an idiot, waiting for a thirteen-year-old girl to come and fix my appearance. After a few minutes, tiny Bella – who is even shorter than Alicia – comes knocking shyly on my door. I open it for her.

"Wow," says Bella, breathless. "You look gorgeous, Sadie."

"Thanks," I say, blushing.

"All of you are gorgeous, you know," she says conversationally as she pulls out a hairbrush and stands on the toilet seat to reach my head. "I was working on another girl before you – she was the very tall, quiet one – and she's just amazing."

"Verity?" I guess.

"Yes, Verity," says Bella. "She's beautiful. She has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen in my life – they have gray flecks in them, you know."

"Do they?" I'd never noticed.

"I was looking at them when I put on her mascara," says Bella, tying my hair up into what feels like a very elegant bun. "She has nice lips, too."

I nod slightly, but not too much, because she's in the process of pinning my hair. Then I ask her since I'm damn curious, "So…how do you know how to do all this stuff? Why are you helping the Marauders?"

Bella chuckles. "Oh, I dunno," she says, starting to rather enjoy this conversation. "Sara is one of my closest friends and when Sirius approached her, I somehow got involved too. But I don't mind it – really, I don't. I want to be a cosmetician when I'm older. I just love doing things like this. I figured it would be good practice if I tried it out now."

"That's cool," I say honestly.

Bella smiles and turns me around so she can put on my make-up. She tells me to close my eyes and stop talking, so I do, and I feel her gently rubbing products on my face. She has a very patient style of application, going slow and steady. I'm sure I'll look nice under her care. She doesn't put too much on, since she's only at it for a minute or two, and then she tells me I'm done.

"I didn't want to overdo the make-up," she says when I tell her my observation. "You're naturally a beautiful girl, so all I had to do was bring out the green in your eyes, the blush in your cheeks. Luckily, you don't need too much extra. I think you'll like the look."

I thank Bella and step outside, clumsy in my heels, and try to catch a glimpse of myself in the cloudy, cracked mirror. I can't, so I go back to my stall and look at myself in the toilet water (blegh). But Bella's right – the smallest amount of make-up makes me look like a different person already. Could this really be me?

It turns out I am the first one done, so I linger outside until the rest of the girls come out of their stalls. Alicia is the next one after me, and she is wearing a funky asymmetrical dress with one shoulder strap. It stops about mid-thigh and she's got heels as high as mine to make up for the extra needed height. Her make-up is beautiful, but there's something off about Alicia tonight.

There's normally so much spark, such a glow, around her – and now that it's not here, I feel like I'm looking at a different, sadder girl.

"Hey, Alicia," I say cautiously. "You look lovely."

"Thanks," she says. "So do you, Sadie."

I give her a small smile and, looking at her standing there, I almost go over to her and cuddle her like I had this morning. She looks about ten years younger than me, petite and frail enough to be knocked over by the first gust of wind strong enough, and I want to protect her. She's been off lately.

But before I can act on any of these emotions, Lily steps out of her stall, wearing a fantastic, form-fitting maroon dress and matching sandals. She's stunning, just stunning, in her attire, her green eyes somehow even more vivid when contrasted with the red.

She smiles at me, but the moment she sees Alicia, she chews on her maroon lip and averts her gaze to the floor. If it's possible, Alicia wilts even more, and steps off to the other side of the bathroom.

Me? I find this ridiculous.

I feel the need to do something about this, I really do. I mean, these are two amazing people that should be above this by now. Of course it's awkward, but I think it's time for them to just finish this strangeness between them before it hurts them.

Normally, I would not act on this impulse, but today, I am different than I was yesterday, or two days ago. I have extremely vivid memories of having to take care of these girls yesterday – and if I was there for them then, I should be there for them now.

So I walk towards them, gently bringing them toward each other, their eyes averting to the floor instead of at each other.

"This isn't right, Lily, Alicia," I tell the two of them. "It was one drunken snog on a Saturday night. You didn't mean it. Can you possibly just get over it instead of dragging it out unnecessarily?"

The girls now begin to shyly look at each other – hesitant, nervous. I stand beside them with my hands on both their shoulders, waiting as well.

Then –

"Look, Lils, I'm incredibly sorry," says Alicia. "I am a horrible drunk and it was irresponsible of me to drink so much yesterday."

"I'm sorry too," Lily says. "I…I'm pretty much the same way. There's a reason I don't go out for drinks very often."

"I didn't mean it," says Alicia. "Sadie's right, this is getting out-of-hand. I know it was awkward and it won't happen again, no matter how much whiskey I've got in my system."

"Same for me," says Lily. "You're…you're completely in the clear. It was unfair of me to add unnecessary guilt on you."

"I am fond of you," admits Alicia, astounding me, "just…not in that way."

Lily cracks a wry smile. "Same back at you."

And, to my utter delight, they both hug – genuinely, closely – and smile it out. At once, the presence of a smile does wonders for Alicia's haggard appearance; she's a little brighter, some of the perkiness she possesses in such vast quantities coming back to her eyes. I beam at the progress – proud that they could figure it out, proud that I was the one who made it happen.

"Well done," I say. "I'm glad that's behind us now."

"No more drinking as a group," says Alicia with a giggle.

"Damn right." Lily laughs. "Merlin…we must have been awful to you, Sadie. Sorry."

"It's fine…sort of," I say, giving her a poke in the arm. "But don't expect me to go drinking with you again, Alicia. Ever."

"Done." Alicia gives me another one of her sincere, earnest smiles.

Now, as the conversation turns to what we're going to do about this latest Marauder challenge, Verity and Alice emerge from the stalls. Verity looks flawless, regal, in her short, navy halter dress and Alice looks amazing in a dress somewhat similar to mine, but in a different color (purple) and some different styling. My jaw drops just the slightest bit before I can correct it. Lily squeals with excitement.

"Alice! You sex monster!" she shouts, coming forward to give Alice an enormous, rib-crushing hug. "You look bloody fantastic!"

"Thanks, love," says Alice with a grin, blushing significantly and smoothing her dress over. "It's rather a nice outfit. How much do you want to bet that Remus got to pick dresses this time?"

"I think the length was Sirius's idea," says Alicia. "In case you haven't noticed, our legs are all bare."

"All right, girls, come along," says Penny in a loud voice, hailing us as though we're twenty miles away and incapable of seeing or hearing her. "It's time for you to do your walk for the Marauders!"

"Sheesh, we're coming, Penny," grouches Lily. "We're not bloody hearing impaired. You can lower your voice."

Penny huffs forward, reminding me irresistibly of Lucille, and leads us in a fast walk to the classroom the Marauders are in. This is no easy task, since Alicia and I are wearing massive heels, but we get in the best we can under the circumstances, clunking along behind Penny and praying we don't twist an ankle.

We arrive fairly quickly to the classroom and Penny pokes her head inside to tell the boys we're here. Then she herds us into a line with me at the front and says, "They're ready for you. Don't screw this up."

So much for words of encouragement.

I take a deep breath and relax myself, since I am the one to kick this whole thing off. It only takes me a few seconds, but I feel much, much better. Then I open the door and walk in.

I do my best to stay tall with good posture, because that's a sure sign of confidence. I forget who told me that. The path they have created for us is loopy and my heels are killing me, but I look straight ahead instead of at the Marauders, who are watching and whooping from their respective corners. But I do try to be a little bit of fun with this too, smiling slightly and having some bounce in my step. It gets easier with every step I take.

The Marauders are definitely enjoying this, watching us all parade around the classroom for them. I don't know how the girls behind me do, but the boys' cheering doesn't stop for anything.

This is the shortest and (for me, at least) the easiest challenge we've had in a while. I think I really did amazingly well here. My commercial was rubbish, but this…this is something I could do. I can fake a walk. It's actually quite an exhilarating experience. The energy of our small crowd does a number on me. I'm kind of sorry it's over when I step off the brightly-lit track and wait for the other girls to finish and join me. The Marauders are going wild.

"Nice!" says James. "Merlin, it's going to be a tough elimination tomorrow – you all are doing a spectacular job here!"

"I'm speechless," says Remus very sweetly. "You girls look absolutely lovely. How do you feel?"

"Great!" I respond earnestly. "I love my dress."

"I do too," says Alicia.

"The dresses were nice this time," allows Lily, although we can all kind of see that she's in love with hers. "Thanks."

"Really?" Remus's smile turns rather impish. "Well, in that case…Sirius, pay up."

"No!" howls Sirius.

"I picked the dresses and they loved them," says Remus. "That was the deal. Pay up."

Sirius is even sourer than he was earlier. "Damn you," he informs Remus as he deposits a pile of gold into Remus's lap, disgruntled.

"Thank you!" Remus wiggles his eyebrows and relaxes against his seat, a satisfied smirk on his face. Sirius is rather grumpy and we girls smile to ourselves.

"Thanks for playing, girls," says Peter, giving his friends an affectionate poke each. "You did exceptionally well. I'm almost dreading judging tomorrow, because I don't want to let any of you go…"

"…but for now, all we can say is see you tomorrow," finishes James. "So see you tomorrow, ladies!"

And now we are dismissed from the classroom, warm and comfortable with our success today. At least, I am. I don't think I've felt this good ever. I can't wait to hunt down Evie and tell her – she'll be enthralled.

But in the meantime, we go to the Room of Requirement together, still in our glamorous dresses, and retreat there for the inevitable girlie gossip.

It's just been a great evening. Now it's time to talk about it.

--

A/N: Like I somewhat mentioned in the beginning, I **have never really written anything like this before**, so be nice if you didn't like it. I was **nervous **posting this. **Very much so**.

And see? Lucille's elimination **doesn't mean drama isn't still abundant**. Wait until Chapter 16. That **should be a fun one**. I'll **kind of set it up **in the next chapter, which is a **breather after this one**. But I can **promise the next one will be shorter** than this one and the **next-next one will have something else going on**. The ending **isn't meant to fade off**, in case you're wondering.

Ooh, and coming up next chapter…

A **bit of aftermath**.  
A _girl who's fading_.  
A big blow.  
A _little introspection_.  
An **elimination**.

Please **review **(I am fairly confident I gave you plenty to comment on) and I'll **see you next chapter**!


	15. And Then There Were 4

A/N: Well, with the **bit of drama last chapter**, I figured there would be **no better person to narrate the aftermath than dear Verity**. So things are going to **start making sense **now; but don't expect **tension to magically disappear**. More **drama awaits you next chapter**!

This chapter **is a bit shorter**, but I hope it's **informative nonetheless**.

And I'm **not going to lie** – it's _**excruciating**_ **having to eliminate these girls now**. Know that it was **hard for me to write **this chapter because of that fact. Otherwise, it was fun.

Thanks for **being such awesome readers**, you guys. Siriusly. Your **support has been nothing short of phenomenal** and I appreciate it **more than you would ever know**.

On a **random side note**…if you want a **good song to listen to while you read the first half**, be sure to check out **Shatter **by **Liz Phair**. I listened to it **constantly** while writing, lol.

Cheers!  
Xx

--

**Verity Robinson**

--

After the challenge tonight and the subsequent retreat back to the Room of Requirement, the girls are full to the brim with gossip. They tend to be like this after a challenge or elimination because that's the only time we ever interact with the Marauders – and when the _Marauders _are around, then everything worth discussing has to happen.

Sure enough, after we retrieve our own clothes from Myrtle's bathroom and settle in on our beds for conversation, the first thing we discuss is the challenge.

"I thought it was amazing!" Sadie says, surprising us all by being the first to speak. "I really had a lot of fun this time around."

I can believe that she did – she's practically glowing from the inside out, like there's a light behind her face that will never be extinguished. To be frank, I'm a little surprised at Sadie; she's generally the quiet one of this group, preferring to sit tight and stick to Alicia, and yet she genuinely enjoyed a challenge that demanded her to stand up on her own.

Maybe there's a warrior lurking somewhere inside of Sadie just waiting to be set free. She really is a nice girl, so I do hope that's true.

"Yeah…I must say, this is getting to be quite interesting," agrees Alice almost as fervently. "The dresses were fantastic and walking is…way more fun than it ought to be."

Now this is interesting – the two mild-mannered girls in this competition, the two who shyly hide behind more outgoing people and are the least likely to enjoy a spotlight, have had a ball with this challenge. Maybe Alice is like Sadie and needs an opportunity to stick out, stand on her own outside of Lily's shadow. That would make sense.

"It was…interesting," says Lily from her spot next to Alice, her head in Alice's lap. "I have never done anything like it before and I never thought I would. I've never fancied myself as the model type."

"You're far too impatient for that," teases Alice, ruffling Lily's hair affectionately.

"I probably am," says Lily with a grin.

"It's such a clever idea, this competition," muses Sadie. "None of us would ever consider ourselves models, but we've still got this unique opportunity to try it out."

"The Marauders are the only self-worshipping prats idiotic enough to actually act on their ridiculous impulses," says Lily, "but at the same time, I can't deny that it's been…almost fun doing this particular challenge."

"Lily Evans, you filthy liar!" Alice all but shouts at her friend. "You are _awful_! You're having fun and you aren't even big enough to admit that!"

"I'm not _having fun_," objects Lily. "I am making the most out of a rubbish situation – I'm trying to see the good in their foolhardy request for me to prance about in a bloody gown…"

"You filthy liar," repeats Alice, shaking her head. "I swear it, Lils, you have the _worst _track record with denial of anyone I've ever met."

"You've been different lately," observes Sadie. "I really…I dunno, I really thought you wanted this. You told James that you did!"

Lily bites her lip, frustrated. "You wouldn't understand," she says in a low voice.

"Like hell we wouldn't – because there's no logical explanation for it!" says Alice. "You are having fun with this competition, Lily. You were telling James the truth when you said you wanted it and you're lying to us now by denying it's been fun."

"It's…more complicated than that," says Lily obstinately.

Alice goes on to deride this remark, but I don't think they should. I dunno…I just think that Lily's got a point. It _is _quite complicated, when you really look hard at the facts.

This girl has been chased for years by a boy she never wanted to pursue romantically. She has endured far more than she should have at the expense of his aspiration and now, after so much time arguing and lingering at arm's length, Lily is stuck in a modeling competition for James.

She justifiably doesn't want to be here – given her history with those boys, why would she? – and yet, she can't help that tiny little persona in the back of her mind that enjoys this attention, enjoys being stared at and admired and referred to as beautiful. There's this side of her that's bright and extremely social, but she's still got this moodiness, this petulant "realism" we've been seeing a lot of since the competition started.

These two personas want such different things that they clash and leave her conflicted – because she'll try her best when asked for the challenge, but then she comes back to her senses afterward and derides the whole thing as everyone expects her to.

It's confusing. It's mildly terrifying. In her words, it's complicated – most certifiably so. It takes a lot of understanding to fully appreciate the dilemma Lily faces every evening when the Marauders call us down.

Of course she can't explain it. Even in my head, I can't give it proper justice. But I instinctively know this strange tug in two directions that she's experiencing and I'm sorry that Alice won't let up on the 'you-know-you-like-this-and-you-had-better-admit-it' reign.

She does like this, but it's important to recognize that she doesn't want to like it. What makes Lily such a fantastically complicated, misunderstood individual is that self-awareness that goes along with her fanciful desires.

I'm still lost in thought about this matter – this eternal struggle between being reserved and safe and being outgoing and real – that it takes a direct question from Alice to bring me back.

"So…Verity…" she says. "What do _you _think of this competition so far?"

"I think it's fine," I say. "I'm enjoying myself."

Alice waits a moment, hoping I'll elaborate, but I don't and she sighs. She's looking so piteously at me, like I'm some trapped sea-turtle or something, and not for the first time today, I feel another pang in my chest.

This morning, like the idiot I am, I went and admitted to the other girls that I'd had a drinking problem and I was sorry I couldn't handle myself appropriately the night before. I have no idea what was going on in my head when I said that – clearly, I wasn't thinking straight because I was still woozy from the drinks – but the words came out and the girls haven't regarded me the same way again. Sadie and Alice in particular, being the empathetic girls of the group, keep looking at me like I'm fragile or something. Before they knew I'd had issues, they were fine with overlooking me.

I don't know what it is about tragedy that makes another person seem so interesting all of a sudden. It's like they want you to open up, say more, pick at your soft spots so that they can "get to know you." There are other ways of getting to know people. I don't know every single horrific thing that has happened to these girls, but I still feel like I know them quite well. I try to focus on the good in people, on what they display overtly and by mistake, because that gives you more truth about them than something that only happened once.

I'm a private person. I will wholeheartedly admit to that – and so will anyone who has seen me from a distance. I don't tell people what goes on in my head and it's obvious from the reactions I've gotten when I did that I should continue with my silence.

The conversation dies away a little, left in contented silence, and I mull things over in it until I hear Sadie speak, clear and concerned, asking, "Alicia, are you all right? You're not talking."

My eyes – as well as two other pairs – go straight to Alicia, who is curled up against her pillows, abnormally quiet and moody. She looks so small and fragile there by herself, a post-ball Cinderella without that brightness we're all so used to. She looks almost ill; her skin pale, her features oddly haunted. She could have faded away completely and no one would have noticed for a while – and indeed, it took Sadie's remark to zero us in on her.

"I'm fine," says Alicia in a voice that is obviously not working hard to fool anyone. "Just tired."

"Are you sure you don't want to come here and sit with us?" asks Sadie.

Alicia sighs, the sound wispy as though a bigger release of air will crack her in two. "No," she says. "I'm probably going to sleep anyway. I'll see you lot tomorrow."

And then she's turned away from us, shut us out of her world as we are so unused to seeing from her, and she's gone in all mental senses of the word.

The girls are a little awkward about it, eyeing each other nervously because Alicia is obviously so far from fine, but no one knows what to do and so they hastily change the subject, choosing to save this for another time. This sparkling, wonderful night is too precious to waste, I suppose.

But I dunno. I can never know for sure.

Instinctively, I pull my legs into my chest and then hug them close, my chin on my kneecaps, my being curled up and kept inside. Despite the noise in the room from the various conversations going forth, I feel like I'm in an empty room. My ears have closed out everything else, leaving me here in the cool, quiet comfort of my thoughts.

I am always safer here than I am out there. I'm an observer. A thinker. I'm not fiery Lily, or passionate Alicia, or mild Sadie, or sweet Alice. I'm just me, Verity.

An identity is all I really need. The rest of it will come when I want it.

I take a deep sigh, filling myself with the lightness of air, and I retreat into my bed, my covers tucking me away. I don't sleep yet, I just breathe; my body relaxed, my mind pleasantly aroused and alert, my ears listening idly to these girls and my eyes closed so that all I can see is black. Just black.

**&**

In the morning, I wake up with the sunrise and I watch the light spread itself across the sky, little by little, until the entire world is bathed in this beautiful newborn light. I nip down to the kitchens and get myself some black coffee and I sip it as I cuddle into my covers and watch the window fill up with brightness and cast shadows across the sleeping girls.

It's an intimate time for me. It's bizarre, but I love waking up at dawn, mulling over whatever had been going through my head the day before. It soothes me to know that life is going on, slowly, kindly, and will grant me this time out of time to figure things out. For some reason, everything is raw and things make more sense when nature is in transition, coming out of hibernation as we rest on.

Slowly, the other girls begin rise and greet me good morning, filling the room with the sounds of females getting ready – feet padding across the floor, soft voices asking where the toothbrush is, water running distantly somewhere. I finish my coffee and get ready as well, pulling on my skirt and my shirt and my robes, coaxing my hair into elastic to keep it from getting in my face. The girls are chatting lightly as they prepare for breakfast and classes.

Very quickly, I notice that Alicia isn't getting out of bed and she has no intention of changing that fact any time soon. I am not the only one who notices this – each of the remaining three, Sadie and Lily and Alice, casts Alicia a concerned glance as they bustle about – but I don't know if anyone's going to be doing anything about it. Sadie does sit down with her on her mattress, her expression anxious, and they talk together in low, hushed tones, but Sadie is gone too soon and Alicia remains alone.

Lily asks Sadie quietly what's wrong with Alicia and Sadie responds quietly that she's just not feeling very good. Instead of looking to Lily's befuddled, fretful face, I look to Alicia, who can clearly hear them over there. Her eyes are darker than ever as Lily gives it up and slings her bag over her shoulder to go to class. She, Alice, and Sadie decide to go to breakfast and ask me to come along, but I decline. I say I'll be down later.

Carefully, hesitantly, I edge over to where Alicia lays, morosely staring out the window I too had been lost in earlier. She starts when I sit on her bed like Sadie had, my weight tipping the balance of the mattress in my favor. Now that I've actually come close this close to her, I notice that she has the loveliest eyes – almost exactly the color of the Mediterranean Sea.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi, Verity," she says back. She sounds feeble, even in these two words, and I can tell she knows that I can sense that. We've gotten kind of close these past couple of days. She gives it up and sits up properly, facing me right.

"Alicia…are you all right?" I have to ask her. "And don't tell me you're fine, because you're not."

I'll admit it, it's not usually my style to come right out and be her mother, comfort her and probe her and make her all better. But there's something about Alicia when she's down (and even when she's up, for that matter) that makes you want to take care of her, protect her. She's so small and sharp and vibrant and pure, even under the layers of pretences she wears everyday. She's someone special. If she needs saving and she's somewhere within my reach, I'll be damned if I don't at least give this my best shot; and so that's exactly what I'm doing.

Alicia sighs, any will she had to fake a smile blowing out of her. She says, "I was telling the truth – I don't feel well. I just…don't know why."

"Is it physical or mental?"

Alicia bites down on her lip, pauses a moment, and then says very seriously, "Look, Verity, I appreciate your concern, I really do, but right now, I don't need it. I'm going to be all right."

My first reaction: Similar to that of being slapped in the face.

My second reaction: A sigh, a purse of my lips, and a, "Right then. If you're sure."

Alicia nods, something like gratefulness in her eyes. "I am," she says.

"Okay," I say simply. And then I get up off her bed, letting the mattress tip where it may, and I exit the dormitory to have breakfast with the other three girls.

Because while I can try my best to save her, I know fully well that she's the only one who can save herself. She's wild and deeply self-destructive and she has demons inside of her that she needs to work out on her own. I don't think she ever really got over what Lucille said so spitefully about her all those nights ago, which leaves her questioning, digging herself into a deeper hole every minute she struggles to get out of it. She's stuck on all sides and I can see she's scared; and I don't know if she's given up the fight or not yet.

I really hope she manages to fix things up; but right now, I badly need some toast and jam and I would like to take care of that before I do anything else.

**&**

Today, after class, our group of five girls gathers in the corridor outside the Room of Requirement as usual. It is such a small bunch that for a second it feels like there are other people left to come join us, but it's only us. The final five. It's such a strange thought that I, of all the loud girls who started off in this competition, would get to stay. The quiet one almost always leaves right away because they're not as interesting. It's nice to think that they find me interesting.

Alicia is still the same odd, quiet creature she was this morning and she has shunned Sadie from her private plight. Sadie, hurt and confused, talks instead to Alice and Lily, who have warmly accepted her presence in their conversation. They are the main attraction, a group of three, while Alicia and I stand as book-ends – silent, solitary.

The Marauders arrive in due course, five minutes late as ever, and they grin as they behold the sight of us. I don't know how they can do that when the dynamic of the group is so obviously wrong. Can they tell something has been going on lately?

"Good afternoon, ladies," says Sirius, giving us a gracious little bow. "I trust you had a fabulous day off yesterday?"

"Sure we did," I say, because no one else looks like they're going to say anything. Sirius pretends to act all surprised by this.

"Verity's talking too?" he asks incredulously. "The other day Sadie talked, today you talk, and Alicia didn't talk either of the two days! This is…this is insane! I feel like I'm in an alternate universe or something! Moony, hold me!"

With this, he scrambles to hold Remus in a tight grip, to which Remus wrinkles his nose in annoyance. His expression is tired as he regards us, ignoring the laughter of James and Peter.

"What Sirius is no doubt trying to say is, we are glad to hear your voices for once," says Remus, pushing the aforementioned teenager off his person.

"So should we take them for judging now?" asks Peter. "Or were there any bulletins we had to give?"

"Just one," says James, grinning quite mischievously. "It's actually quite interesting. See, I'm friendly with Ernie the barman in the Hog's Head – friend of a friend of a friend situation – and he incidentally told me about a group of Hogwarts girls getting ridiculously drunk a couple nights ago. And that a certain Alicia Harrison kept flirting the hell out of him. Would you girls know anything about that?"

At once, all of us girls go bright, bright pink, Lily and Alicia in particular. We exchange glances, daring each other with our eyes to answer this claim, and Alice takes charge by saying part-slyly and part-frankly, "We know very little about this incident, James. Sorry."

"Are you sure there isn't another Alicia Harrison who goes here?" Lily chimes in. "I could swear there was another one in Hufflepuff…"

James arches an eyebrow at us, playful but at the same time demanding some honesty, and I finally confess, "All right. Fine. You caught us with all your astute cleverness, James. How _do _you do it?"

This makes him laugh. "I dunno, Verity," he says. "I guess I'm just that damn fantastic, you could say."

I see Lily visibly rolls her eyes at this; and I don't know if she means to do it this way, but the gesture comes off as more affectionate than truly exasperated.

"But anyway," continues James, "I'm glad you girls went out and had a bit of fun, since you're so far in this competition. I'm glad you got a little drunk and shook things up. Done in true Marauder fashion, I can tell you that much!"

He laughs again, ever-cheerful and excitable, but now an uncomfortable twinge haunts my stomach. This light, airy-fairy view he has on drinking and getting drunk simply does not sit well with me. If there's one thing in this world that I can't stand, it would be people's indifference to getting pissed one night and boasting about it.

It's scary, being drunk. The loss of control, the topsy-turvy nature of reality when your brain is white-washed mush. The strange colors and sounds, the knowledge that you did something wrong and you can't even defend yourself because you don't remember a thing. It's horrible. It's not something to be taken with this kind of casualness.

I've had nights where my best friend, Meg, was in the loo with me until four in the morning, holding my hair back for me as I vomited into the toilet constantly – feverish; sweaty; vulnerable; frail. The look on her face when she beheld me so helpless to the poisons I took was most of the reason why I all but killed myself to get off the habit.

I reiterate: it's absolutely nothing to boast about.

I am tempted to point this out to James (in ambiguous terms, of course) but I decide not to ruin this good-humored mood they've brought to the group just because I'm feeling moody. I keep my mouth shut and I follow the cheerfully-chattering Marauders off to the judging room, my heart heavy and full of clouds, my gut like a punctured balloon. Alicia, like me, is quiet while Sadie, Alice, and Lily talk idly together on the side, and we are joined by our silence. Is that supposed to be a good thing?

The nine of us enter the classroom together, slipping in quietly and getting into our places, the Marauders at the front and the rest of us lined up before them. The boys survey us impressively as they prepare for the judging.

"You know, this is going to _suck _from this point on," muses Sirius. "I mean…I like you lot. I don't want to chuck you, you know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean, mate," says James, putting his arm around Sirius's shoulder. "I like 'em too. It'll be tough, because they're all damn good at this game."

"I don't even want to do any more eliminations," declares Peter. "I don't want to think about it."

"Too bad, Wormy," says Sirius. "We won't like it, but we'll suck it up and eliminate these beautiful creatures. Somehow."

"And on that merry note, let's get this over with, shall we?" suggests Remus.

"Sure thing, Moony, mate," says Sirius. "Go ahead and do the honors of starting it off, calling up the first girl. Blimey, I miss having you around during all the challenges…it's so lonely." He makes a puppy-dog pout in Remus's direction, but Remus (who has endured far worse) says patiently, "I'm there for some of them and I'm always here for judging. Relax, Padfoot."

He then looks at us. "So your challenge – which I was here for, incidentally – was to do some walking for us. I call to the stand…Sadie. Sadie, you're up first."

Sadie, glowing again, bounds up to the front with the energy I usually associate with Alicia, who is shrinking back behind Alice at the moment. It's a complete role-reversal for the two of them – and the Marauders are quite surprised as well.

"Hi, boys!" chirps Sadie.

"Did you and Alicia get a personality transplant or something?" asks Sirius, wrinkling his nose. "I can't even see Alicia back there."

"I'm here," says Alicia from somewhere 'back there.' Sirius is even more dumbfounded.

"_Damn_," he says. "So…Sadie. Our new Alicia. How are you?"

"Fine, I suppose," she says, almost giddy with excitement as Alicia deflates the slightest bit. "Just anxious!"

"You needn't be," assures James with a little wink. "To be honest, you were my favorite up there. You did wonderfully."

"It's the first time you really _popped _for me," agrees Sirius. "It was astonishing. That dress did wonders for you and I've got to go buy those third-year girls a cookie or something for the make-up jobs they gave you – that bit goes for all of you. You lot looked fantastic; and Sadie, you killed this one."

"And for once, I agree with Sirius," says Remus very kindly. "Very nicely done."

"That personality transplant you got? It works for you," says Peter with a grin. "Keep it up, Sadie. We like being able to see more of you."

"Thanks!" Sadie practically squeaks, scurrying back to us with an enormous smile on her face. She has never received such a good critique before.

"Right then," says James. "Erm…how about Alice now?"

"Hi!" says Alice, taking a leaf out of Sadie's book by giving the Marauders a lovely smile. Sirius is mildly flabbergasted by this.

"This is so _weird_," he says. "You're _all _talking. This has never happened before."

"I only said hi…" Alice blushes.

"When there are so few of us, we feel more confident, I suppose," I point out. "Anyway, shouldn't you be going on with judging instead of remarking on something so infinitesimal to the process?"

Sirius just stares at me a couple of seconds, exaggerated and quirky as usual, before James chuckles and says, "You're right, Verity. Sorry."

"To be honest, Alice, I liked your walk," says Remus. "You're not nearly as…outward as the other girls, but you've managed to make that work to your advantage."

"You're so _cute_, Alice," marvels Sirius. "I dunno what I'm going to do with you. You remind me of a doll."

"You're also very conscious of what your face is doing as well as what your body is doing," says Peter. "That's a skill. James and Sirius are horrible at it – you ought to see them when they're trying to pull suave faces for women…they end up falling over their feet and making them laugh. They are awful."

"Am not!" the two boys protest in unison.

"You're a prat," pouts Sirius as Alice giggles.

"Maybe. But either way, you're very good at it," continues Peter. "I could see a million pictures I could have taken as you walked. I was itching to get to my camera."

"I think you're silent but definitely huge competition here," says James. "You're not the one everyone notices right away, but you've got something about you, Alice. Well done."

"Thanks," she says, smiling and returning to her place by Lily. She's glowing too, like Sadie had, by one of her best-ever critiques. Today is a day for the quiet people, I suppose.

"Next, we want…Lily," says James. "Lils, will you step up, please?"

Lily looks quite befuddled as she obliges this request. "You…called me Lils," she says, uncertain. "Why did you call me Lils?"

"Did I?" James goes tomato-red. "Slip of the tongue. I'm sorry. I know your name is Lily."

Now Lily is the one to go aggressively red, her body language passive (shoulders turned in, back hunched forward, hands lingering near her middle), suggesting that she is more embarrassed than she's letting on – which is already a lot.

"Y-You can call me Lils if you really want to," she says. "I honestly don't care."

But she does care, she does. In a way, she's almost testing him – because if he calls her Lils, he would be bringing them closer together so they are on a more casually intimate level than they were before. But if he doesn't call her Lils, that means he's too uncertain to get to that next casually intimate level, which could mean about a hundred million things, depending on how he phrases it.

"No, it's fine, nicknames are stupid," says James at once.

All right, scratch that bit then. He does want to get to the next casually intimate level (it's hard to doubt that), but he's too afraid, because Lily has had a long, notorious penchant for hating him – which is an understandable reaction. Humans do their best to avoid pain (physical and emotional) and James Potter is no different.

But he still can't stop himself from wanting her all the same, something she's still not altogether aware of, which leaves them at this weird place where neither of them really know what they want from the other…which leaves them blushing in front of all of us on this sunny afternoon…

…which leaves Sirius wrinkling his nose and staring, dumbfounded, at his best friend. The look on his face, at least, is clear – _what goes wrong with you when Lily Evans is in the room? _But thankfully, he has the good sense not to say anything and disturb the awkward quiet between Lily and James.

"Fine then," says Lily at last. "My name is Lily, James, and don't you forget it. Get on with the critique."

"Right, right," says James quickly, coughing and clearing out his throat as he gets himself back into business-mode. "The critique. Your walk. Well…honestly, I thought it was very strong. Like, no joke."

"Actually, no, James isn't arse-kissing this time," says Sirius as Lily's unconvinced eyes give him a quick once-over. "Your walk was good, Lils."

"Why are _you _calling me Lils?" a woefully confused Lily wants to know.

"Well, if James is too much of a caveman to use a nickname, I will show off my evolutionary skills with girls and call you that," explains Sirius. "It shows that I am very comfortable around you and am not prone to putting my foot in my mouth. That gives me more respect points in your book."

He nudges James. "You ought to be taking notes, mate."

James scowls, his expression quite amusingly dark. "Shove off, Pads," he says roughly.

Sirius grins and takes this opportunity to rumple James's hair (he seems to do this a lot to his friends, I'm noticing). "Don't get distracted from the critique, mate," he taunts. "Verity might tell you off about it."

"I can if you want me to," I volunteer on sudden inspiration.

James rolls his eyes. "I'm going to have your arse one day, Sirius," he announces.

"Everyone wants my arse one day, so you'd best wait in line, dear," says Sirius, petting James's head this time. "No cutsie-butsies!"

Peter bursts out laughing (we girls crack several grins too, including Lily, whose grin is sort of nervous) and it is at this point that Remus whistles loudly into the air, silencing us and bringing us back to earth.

"All right, Sirius, we get it," he snaps. "You're a stud, James is a sopping mess, and Lily can indeed be referred to as Lils if you so wish. Can we get on with the critique? I've got things to do tonight."

Sirius opens his mouth – no doubt to say something sarcastic about Remus's temper – but Remus cuts him off by saying, "As we were trying so woefully to tell you, Lily, your walk was very good. Very confident. You were almost like a different person up there and let me tell you, it was a person we wouldn't mind seeing again."

Now Lily has to smile properly, at least a little bit, because Remus says this sincerely but all in a rush, alternating between glaring at his friends and looking earnestly at Lily. Her nod is one of understanding.

"Thanks, Remus," she says.

"No problem," he says as she bounces off to stand next to Alice, barely concealing her giggles. Remus doesn't notice as he says, "Erm…Alicia. Up here please."

Alicia. I'd almost forgotten Alicia was here, she'd been so quiet back there. I only realize when I hear her name and she glides past me, her arm brushing mine. She's lukewarm, bordering on cool, instead of being plain warm like usual. She looks like a plant deprived of sunlight as she stands before the Marauders.

"Hey," she says, but it's so half-hearted that it would've been better for her to say nothing.

"Alicia, are you all right?" James asks at once, deeply concerned.

"Yeah," she says with a convincing fake yawn. "Just bloody tired, that's all."

James doesn't look like he buys this excuse, but he doesn't press the matter further, continuing to stare at her worriedly, as though just looking at her will tell him whatever's going on inside of her right now. Peter takes over the critique for him.

"Well…Alicia, honestly, I don't know what to tell you," he says. "Your performance – which should've been very strong, considering what you've given us in the past – was exactly like you look right now: bland."

"Not even bland," says Sirius. "She looks like she's died or something."

"I'm not dead," Alicia objects.

"Are you acquainted at all with a mirror?" Sirius asks in disbelief. "Here, you want to borrow mine?"

"You've got several choices," murmurs Remus.

"Shove off," complains Sirius. "Honest, Alicia, I'm worried. Jamie there is so worried he's not even critiquing you because he knows your walk was damn awful. What's going on?"

"So I haven't been feeling my best lately!" says Alicia, frowning. "Shoot me, why don't you? I'm not bloody perfect, in case you've forgotten."

This is not the Alicia we know. Not at all. This is a sad, argumentative person who is lost in limbo in the midst of her own head – it can't be Alicia. But this person has Alicia's eyes and Alicia's face, so what can we do? Sirius, we can see, is at a loss, mixed between anger and fear and pity.

"We know you're not perfect," says Sirius, "but you're certainly better than this. What could've gone so wrong and changed you so much?"

"Nothing!" she shouts. "I'm the same damn person, Sirius!"

"And I really wish that weren't true," he responds at once, his eyes darker than a storm cloud. "I'm just going to say it to you straight – clean up your act or you can just go."

The anger dissolves from Alicia at once and suddenly, she looks like she might cry. Sirius almost looks sorry, which speaks to the extent of the softness abruptly available on that girl's face.

"You can go, Alicia," says Sirius. "Verity, it's your turn."

Alicia squeezes her eyes shut as though this will take her out of this situation, this world, and she stumbles back to the group. She looks hungover and I wonder vaguely, as I go up, if she was drinking. She could have been. Alicia is borderline depressed right now and I wouldn't put anything past her at all. I, of all people, know how tempting a drink can be when you're feeling so low.

"Hello," I say to the boys, giving them a small nod of my head.

"Hey, Verity," says Sirius, seeming determined to keep up the fun-and-smiling Sirius persona up for judging. "Goodness…today is the most I've heard you talk in front of us at judging, like, ever."

"Definitely a nice change," adds in James, seeming to recover slightly from Alicia. "I'm sure you're a terribly interesting person, Verity, but you never prove or dispute our theory. I wish you would."

"I'm…fairly interesting," I allow.

Sirius smiles. "Well, your walk was the same way, fairly interesting," he says. "You are regal, you know that, Verity? You walk like a queen."

"But not in a bad way," says Peter. "It's like…you know what you are doing and you're in-control the whole time. Which can be good or bad, come to think of it."

"It's a bit of both," says Remus. "You are stunning, Verity, but like James was saying, we don't know you. We see you and think, wow, you're fabulous, but we can't remember who you really are. You're just that beautiful girl named Verity who can take a good picture and walk for a kill."

"You need more personality," advises James. "I know it's all in there, somewhere in you, but it's no good unless we can see it. Then we have a person to put with all that beauty you've got."

"All right," I say agreeably. "Thanks, boys."

"No problem, Verity," says Sirius, giving me a thumbs-up. "And we're glad to hear your voice. It's a good start."

I smile and retreat back to the group. The boys look to each other and sigh.

"Well…there we go, you've all been judged and rated," says Peter, stretching out his arms. "This means it's time for…"

"…deliberation!" finishes Sirius, doing a little dance from his seat. "It's my favorite part – until we have to eliminate one of you."

"Sirius gets pretty turned on by deliberation," admits James. "He does dances like this all the time. Don't know why we stand him, but all right…"

Sirius gives James a rib-crushing hug, almost choking him, as he informs us serenely, "Jamie here is a bit of an idiot. He loves me. He's just not as in-touch with his feelings as he should be."

"I won't be in touch with my important organs either, if you don't fucking let me go of me," James manages, gasping for air.

Satisfied, Sirius does let him go and says to us, "You'd best go out now. This could get ugly."

I smirk. Fair enough. I bite down on my lip to keep from cracking up and lead the other four girls outside to the corridor where we await their final decision.

To be honest, I almost want to just run away from here and skip elimination. I like all the girls here. As much as they try my nerves at times, I like being with them. I don't want one of us to go. It won't feel the same way.

But I sigh and hold in this particular impulse as I, and the remaining four, close the door and linger in silence.

**&**

It takes the Marauders a long bloody time to finish their deliberation.

Sirius mentioned just before judging that it would suck having to eliminate one of us today (no kidding), so I suspect that's what's going on, but I could still be wrong. I don't know. Waiting out here is not fun, because the tension hangs about us with this enormous question mark we're dying to have resolved.

No one's talking now. We're all just waiting; wondering; hoping. We're all on a very even playing field – even Alicia, because the Marauders openly acknowledged they knew she was capable of doing more. They wouldn't just chuck Alicia. They would scare her into playing properly, sure, but they wouldn't go through with it unless they had no choice and today, they have a choice. It's frustratingly impossible to predict which one they will take.

When Peter calls us back in and we stand in a horizontal line in the classroom, like always, the tension from the corridor remains in full-form. James is deadly serious as he stares us down, his hazel eyes like laser beams. I dunno, but somehow, I like him best when he's like this – all the glitz evaporated, the emotion unguarded in his face.

"There are five of you ladies here tonight," he says, "and we had to make the highly unpleasant decision on how to whittle it down to four. Let me just say it now – we hate having to do this. The competition is really tough now, so if you want to stay, make sure you give us everything you have."

His eyes linger especially on Alicia as he says this, but he clears his throat and says, "So, like before, I am going to start by calling the best performance and the rest go from there. The first name today is…Sadie. Well done."

Sadie has to blink a few times and take a few seconds to register the sound of her name from James's lips. She has never been called first. She has never been better than all of us. Biting her lip to keep from shouting or crying or doing some combination of the two, she whispers a, "Thank you," to the Marauders and retreats to the side of the room.

There are only four of us now.

"The next name I will call," says James, "is Lily. Well done."

We are long past the time when we suspect James of favoring Lily, so no one reacts (negatively, that is) as Lily gives James a nod and joins Sadie.

There are only three of us now.

"The next name I will call," says James, "is Alice. Well done."

Alice. He's just called Alice. Alice breathes an enormous sigh of relief (the lucky girl) and scuttles to stand beside Lily. The two hug it out, thrilled that they are still together. I glance beside me at Alicia, who is not in the least bit surprised or bitter about this choice. She's just…sad. I've seen this look pass across her face for the past two days. Right now, she doesn't give a damn about what happens to her. That's hardly fair, considering I am the other option to chuck from the competition.

"Will Alicia and Verity please step forward?" James requests, shattering my reverie and bringing me back to earth.

Swallowing deep, thick, knowing in my heart of hearts that this is probably my time to go, I step forward in sync with Alicia, who is going at the pace of treacle. James surveys us with that seriousness hardening, somehow, and instinctively, I feel that this isn't easy for him. He doesn't want to do this. It makes me feel a tiny bit better, at the very least.

"So, Alicia and Verity, you both are here for reasons that are quite similar," he says. "Verity, you know we think you're stunning. Regal, as Wormtail put it. You're no doubt the most elegant girl here, the one with the most poise, and you've got a very sly, honest sense of humor. Which is great. But we feel that as your beauty shines, you tuck away those gifts of yours and let your personality fade away until we only know you as 'the pretty one.' That's not what we're looking for in this competition."

They think I'm boring. Reading between the lines, that's what they think of me. They find me distant. Of course they do – I _am _distant. I'm simply not comfortable with telling a whole bunch of people exactly what I think. Some people aren't. Does this mean I'm not fit for the Marauders? Does this mean I'm not fit for anyone?

It's a silly question to ask, maybe, but the criticism hurts me a little. If they don't know me, how can they assume I'm someone wonderful? Maybe I'm not. I think I'm fairly wonderful, but like they said, they don't know that. But can they still chuck me for it?

"And you, Alicia, are also fading," says James, again destroying my concentration and bringing me back to the present. "You started off at the top of the pack, making everyone seem like a blob of drying paint because you were so cool. You demanded attention and we were happy to give it. But now…blimey, Alicia, we don't know where that girl has gone. All of a sudden, she's off the face of the planet and we're left with an empty shell. Don't do that to us. You really are a beautiful girl and we would hate to lose you because you don't believe that anymore."

I glance at Alicia a second time. She's not looking at me or at James – she's looking at the ground, her positioning passive, even her hair looking kind of lank. She looks awful. I can tell she's listening, but she's given it up. Emotionally, she's already checked out.

James is still staring us down, about to deliver his final verdict. If I'm honest with myself, I must admit that I want Alicia to go. If she doesn't want to be here, she shouldn't take my place. I may not be overt about it, but I do want to be here. I do, I do, I do. Please, James, don't make me go…

"So Alicia, wherever you're hiding that girl we've adored for the past couple of weeks, you'd better find her and get that duct tape off her mouth," James finally says. "We believe in you, so please do the same for yourself too."

Now is the only time a flicker of emotion comes to Alicia's eyes – it's shock, then suddenly guilt. Her blue eyes turn on me, horrified, and she looks like she's just killed my first-born son or something.

"Verity!" She says my name – breathless, distraught, strangely sorry – and before I can register anything more, she pounces on me in a close hug. I'm much taller than her, so she does have to jump and she does, holding me tight. She almost knocks me off-balance, but I stay put and hug her back sincerely.

Scratch that. I don't want her to leave, but I don't want myself to leave either. It was going to be a hopeless situation either way. Maybe it's better this way. I dunno. But then again, I never really will until the situation comes to pass.

After a solid thirty seconds of hugging me, Alicia releases me and I see a glistening sheen on her eyes. I smile sort of sadly at her and she gives me another hug, going soft in my arms this time, like I'm the only one who's holding her up. When I pat her back and let her go, she deflates even more, looking thinner and gaunter and sadder than ever. I try to show her that I understand and it's okay and she shouldn't feel like this, but she turns her head and I am left standing here with the other girls looking thunderstruck. James and the Marauders, too, look quite sorry to see me standing here, probably looking lost and confused.

To be honest, I'm very confused, my feelings conflicted. But my feelings for the girls have not changed at all as I look at them now, watching me.

I hug each of them in turn, but not for as long as I hugged Alicia. These girls are so lovely, all of them more upset than I would've ever imagined them to be, and I say thank you to the Marauders as I exit the classroom. It's been a great time, it really has, and this competition, odd as it is, made me feel more special than I've felt in my entire life.

As ridiculous as the premise was, it turned out to mean the world to me. I'm genuinely gloomy about having to move on. That's probably my favorite part – how unexpectedly joyful the experience became for me.

I sigh as I make my way into the Room of Requirement, retrieving my things from it and lugging them back to the Ravenclaw tower with me, but it's not a mournful sigh. It's a hopeful sigh: hope for me and my personality, which will hopefully shine truly one day; hope for the other girls and what they will later accomplish; hope for the girl who wins to wisely enjoy her victory.

Hope will win out. Maybe not this time, but next time. And for now, as I walk out of here and go back to my real dormitory, that's enough.

--

A/N: So **there you go**. Another elimination and there are **four more girls **left in the competition.

The next **two chapters **are **drama-galore**. The next goes into **LJ **and the **last four wrap this tale up **nice and pretty. **Exciting**, huh?

Coming up next chapter…

A **scandal**.  
An _awkward situation_.  
A daring plan.  
A _girl in distress_.  
A **challenge**.

Please **review **on your way out of the browser! **Thanks**!!


	16. The Game Gets Sirius

A/N: The **next 2 chapters are somewhat based off of something that happened in Cycle 12 of the real ANTM** because it works with the way the story is going. I'm quite **excited**, actually. It will be **dramatic**. I will **morbidly enjoy myself **while writing it. You should **definitely review **(that being for my **lazy invisible readers**)because I **must know how you take this**.

I **don't want to say any more though**, so go ahead and **read on.**

Cheers!  
Xx

--

**Alice Prewitt**

--

After the latest elimination, the mood in the Room of Requirement is definitely quite awkward – moody, reflective, mildly uncomfortable. When we girls return to our little haven on the seventh floor, we are almost pin-drop silent.

There are only four of us in the room. Four. Me, Lily, Sadie, and Alicia. Without Verity making us five, it doesn't feel right – because even if she was quiet much of the time, her presence kept the whole group together. Now, it feels like something is missing.

Alicia went slightly insane after her name was called to stay and Verity was told good-bye. She hugged Verity like she was her lifeline and looked about ready to burst into tears when Verity left the room. Like she was guilty about it or something. At this point, she's curled up in bed, strangely still, and again, she won't talk to us. It's starting to become extremely strange.

So, letting this mood of hollow loneliness, Sadie, Lily, and I are lounging about and talking idly about the events of the afternoon.

"It's so awful to lose Verity," says Sadie bitterly. "It's so awful having to lose anyone. I think we were a great group of five."

"We were," I agree. "And I liked Verity. She had a way of…bringing things together. You don't have to talk to make people appreciate the fact that you're there."

"The deliberation must've been interesting," muses Lily. "I wonder how they decided to eliminate Verity."

"If I had to decide, I'd do process of elimination," I say. "Like, go through each girl and consider their strengths and weaknesses."

"That's probably what they did," says Sadie. "It makes sense."

"Either way, it's going to be tough from now on," says Lily. "I mean…look at us. We're the top four. One of the girls in this room is going to win a date with one of those bloody Marauders."

"Until a few days ago, I would've sworn you and Alicia would have been the top two," says Sadie. "They _adore _her – and you too. But now…I dunno. It's anyone's victory."

Lily glances back to make sure Alicia isn't listening, but she's motionless and it's hard to tell without actually going over to her and checking, which none of us feel like doing. Lily takes a breath and then says in a low murmur, "Alicia has been acting so weird lately. I don't know what's wrong with her."

"She freaked out when Verity got eliminated," I say. "I mean, it's natural to get upset, but she overdid it. And not for the sake of drama."

"She's like that," says Sadie sadly. "She really can be quite bipolar at times. One minute she'll be laughing at one of my jokes, and then she'll stare glumly out into space, like someone's just died or something. She scares me."

"She's been down for a few days," I note. "I hope that means she'll bounce back soon."

"With Alicia, you can never tell," says Sadie. "But either way, we have to be on top of our game – when you get this far, it's so disappointing not to make it the whole way."

"I know," I say. "I mean, I think the whole thing is just harmless fun and competition is a good thing. I want the prize. I want to do well."

Lily shrugs. "Whatever," she says. "I'm doing what I can and if that's enough, then fine. I just can't wait until it's all over finally."

"You can't say you've been getting nothing out of this," I say.

"I haven't been," she says frankly. "They tell me to do what they ask, I do it, and they tell me I look hot. How is that radically different from everyday life?"

"You don't do what they ask," I say.

"But no matter what, they still tell me I look hot," says Lily. "Kind of boring when you already know the outcome, don't you think?"

"But they haven't just told you you're hot," says Sadie. "They've told you you're beautiful, confident, unique, that you have passion that works for and against you. They've gotten to know you. Doesn't it mean anything to you?"

Lily sighs. "A lot of people think they know me," she says, "but very few genuinely do. I'm used to it."

Sadie and I go quiet, looking at Lily, who is nonchalantly picking at her thumbnail, nibbling at it and then scratching it. It's one of her nervous habits, something she does when she's under pressure and doesn't want to look the other person in the eye. I wonder what she's nervous about. Does she want the Marauders know her, or is she afraid of the fact that they do? Knowing Lily, the answer lies somewhere in between those two choices.

So I sigh, stretching out and bidding the girls good-bye to go to the library. I ask if anyone would like to come along, but Sadie wants to work upstairs, Alicia doesn't answer, and Lily wants a nap – which is fine. I gather my books and take them down to a quiet corner table where I can lean my head against the wall and dream as I scribble down words about subjects that mean very little to me.

This competition is nearly over, I figure. It'll be done in the next few days and one of us will be on a date with a Marauder, ending this whole turbulent business. So until then, all that's really left for me is to give my all and hope for the best from there. Which is exactly what I'm going to do.

**&**

The morning after elimination day is quite a tiring one. Usually, I'm pretty good about paying attention during class, but today, I just can't. Lily, somehow, manages to stay focused all period and I envy her that. Sometimes, I just can't make my brain cooperate with me. By lunch time, I am pretty damn exhausted.

Lily and I walk down to the Great Hall together, Lily telling me about an amusing incident she witnessed in Charms, and we settle in at the Gryffindor table with Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon, two of our other friends.

Mary, a girl who adores any kind of joke, demands at once to hear Lily's tale from the beginning – but since it's quite long and I'm starting to feel pretty heavy in the gut, I excuse myself to the bathroom. By the time I'm back, Lily (a notorious rambler) will be pretty much to the point we were at before.

Unfortunately for me, the toilets aren't very close to the Great Hall. The nearest bathroom from me is on the second floor, way in the corner. I don't know who made that rule up (what if I was having a serious emergency?) but whoever they are, I curse them miserably in my head as I sprint up the stairs as fast as they'll let me go. I almost get caught in a trick step, but luckily I manage to avoid it at the last second.

I walk down the main second floor corridor, passing by portraits and mirrors on my way, and as I approach the junction to the next corridor where the bathroom is, I hear the faint sounds of grunting and moaning. This isn't exactly surprising – this bathroom corridor is notorious for being a haven for snogging couples – but I wrinkle my nose nonetheless as I turn the corner.

However, it is to my very great astonishment that today's snogging couple is Alicia and Sirius.

I literally stop dead right where I'm standing.

On the wall right by the girl's bathroom, Alicia has trapped Sirius against the stone and she's all but climbing on top of him in her haste to snog him harder, faster. His shirt is completely unbuttoned from the front, revealing his muscled chest, and Alicia's standing in an undershirt, her regular shirt discarded at her feet.

Sirius's movements are typical for him – probing, suave, charmingly rough – but it's Alicia that really catches my attention. The desperation is heartbreakingly obvious as she scrambles to get closer to him. She's looking for something in him that he probably doesn't have. It's almost sad…but more revolting than anything else.

I blink a couple of times to confirm to myself that yes, yes, Alicia and Sirius are indeed snogging in this corridor, before I finally clear my throat to make my presence known. At once, Alicia whirls around, horrified, to see me at the end of the corridor.

She looks even worse from the front. Her hair is spoiled, all over the place, while her shirt is in the wrong place, exposing the entirety of her chest (she isn't wearing a bra, Merlin help us) and her lipstick is smeared all over her face. Sirius, too, is mortified and similarly mussed.

"Alice!" Alicia breathes, her eyes practically falling out of her face. "Shit, Alice…this isn't what it looks like…" She purses her lips, hysterically scrambling for her shirt on the ground.

"Then what's going on?" I ask. I'm not interrogating her, not being rude – I'm just calmly asking her why she is snogging Sirius Black in the middle of lunch on the second floor. Considering how fast my heart is currently beating, I think it's quite admirable how calm I am.

"Alice…Alice, honest, it's not as bad as you think," Sirius says defensively, true panic in his voice as he begins buttoning up his shirt. "We…she just came…look, I know it seems pretty bad but…"

He doesn't have an excuse and he knows it. Now that I'm here, he's completely detached from Alicia, not even looking once at her in his attempt to save his own skin. It's obvious to me that something fishy is going on.

"Is this the first time?" I ask, cutting off his meaningless jargon.

"Yeah – first and last," promises Sirius, again avoiding Alicia's eyes. "It…we…I'm not having some sort of affair or something with her, I swear. I…we aren't anything at all. I don't even like her that way."

I glance at Alicia and I can see vast, manic distress in her eyes at these words. How can Sirius not see that he's killing her? Why isn't he looking at her? My mouth hangs slightly open, taking this in, and Sirius avoids my eyes too. He brushes past me to disappear down the corridor, probably to go back to lunch or something. I am left with Alicia, about a meter and a half separating her from me. I lose sight of Sirius's back as he turns back the way I came and then I slowly, carefully, allow my gaze to fall back on Alicia.

She's biting her lip so hard I'm afraid it might bleed. Her legs are shaking, her blue eyes wet. Admittedly, she looks like a pathetic mess; not at all the headstrong girl I've always thought she was. And, without warning, she falls down to her knees on the floor, burying her face in her hands. I can hear constrained sobs coming from in there and I can't take it anymore.

Silently, I walk towards her and kneel down in front of her. I put my hand on her quaking shoulder, the gesture familiar for all the times I've done this for Lily, and Alicia looks up, her blue eyes rimmed with deep red, and we stare at each other for a moment.

Alicia and I aren't very close in this competition – not at all, actually – but at this moment, I feel something out of my usual wavelength towards her. Something that pities her, wants to comfort her. She looks terrible. She could definitely use a shower and some down-time to think.

Without a word, I take her hand and coax her to her feet. She's uncertain, her blue irises murky with questions, but I ignore those and take her to the bathroom, where I start the tap and begin rubbing the erratic lipstick from her mouth. She relaxes and gently, I fix her hair and wash her tears away.

Consequences (which I'm sure there will be) can come later. For now, I just need to get this girl cleaned up. Then we'll see what happens next.

**&**

I get Alicia a sandwich from the Ravenclaw table (it's the closest to the door) and take her back to the Gryffindor common room. Now that she's somewhat recovered, she is thanking me endlessly for what I'm doing. I tell her it's no big deal and leave her to finish the sandwich and go to class. I need to go talk to Lily; because even if she's somewhat recovered, I am not. Lily will know exactly what to do about all this.

When I get back to the Great Hall from the seventh floor (well, there's my exercise for the day…), I find that Sadie is also sitting with Mary, Marlene and Lily. They hail me over, curious, and Lily asks, "Where were you? You can't have needed _that _much time for a dump, could you?"

I smirk. "Thanks, darling, for your deep concern over my bowel issues," I say. "But I do need to talk to you lot about something. Something kind of significant."

"Ooh – what?" Mary is very interested now. If there is one thing she loves more than jokes, it is gossip. Her eyes glitter with curiosity.

"Nothing," I say. "It's Top Model stuff."

"What, so I'm not cool enough to know Top Model stuff?" Mary pouts.

"No," I say shortly. "Honest. Can you talk to Marly for a few minutes while I fill these girls in? Please? This is important."

Marlene and Mary exchange looks. Clearly, Mary is not in favor of this plan; but Marly, being sweet and compliant, says all right and drags Mary away for a bit, leaving me with Lily and Sadie – who are also extremely curious.

"What the hell's going on?" Lily wants to know.

"Well," I say, "I was going to the bathroom on the second floor, since it's the closest one. I got to the corridor and when I turned the corner, I found Alicia and Sirius snogging the bloody hell out of each other!"

Like mine had, Lily and Sadie's jaws drop practically to the ground.

"No _way_!" says Lily, her green eyes astonished. "Alicia and _Sirius_?"

"Yeah," I say. "If I hadn't walked in on them – the corridor was deserted at the time, you know, since we're all here at lunch – I think they probably would've had sex up there."

"That's _scandalous_," says Lily. "Wow."

"So what did you do?" Sadie is fearful.

"Well, I kind of cleared my throat to show them I was there," I say. "They jumped about three feet in the air and Alicia, Merlin help us, was not wearing a bra."

Sadie rubs her face in her hands; strained, as though this is her personal responsibility or something.

I continue, "I asked them what was going on and they told me it was the first time. Sirius denied affiliation and said she didn't mean anything to him that way. He left pretty fast and Alicia started crying."

"I still don't get what's up with that girl," says Lily. "She's been utterly depressing lately. What's going on?"

"She _has _been depressed," says Sadie. "Merlin…and then she goes and gets caught up in things like this…what happened next?"'

"I took her to the bathroom, cleaned her up, got her a sandwich from here and dropped her back to the Gryffindor common room," I say. "She was torn up about the whole thing and I couldn't leave her alone in that corridor with her shirt all over the place. She might've crawled to the Potions room and taken something if I had. It was that bad."

"Merlin…" Sadie is lost for words. "What are we supposed to do about this? We can't just let her have near-sex with one of the judges of the competition…but at the same time, I don't want to turn her in. I don't want to publicly humiliate her like that."

"She was looking absolutely horrible when I caught them," I say. "I don't want to turn her in either. I really don't."

"I adore Alicia, but this is something James would want to know about," says Sadie. "He likes her, as you already know. It would devastate him, but he has the right to know. I'm…quite conflicted."

"James has to know," says Lily. "It's his bloody game too, and if one of the players is snogging a judge in the middle of the day, he has every right to know. Sadie's right about that."

"You should've seen her," I say softly. "Then you'd understand. She was devastated. I know she won't do it again. We should just do her this favor and keep the thing with Sirius to ourselves."

"That's not fair," argues Lily. "If I was moronic enough to snog, say, Peter in some random corridor, I would expect you lot to do the right thing and tell the truth. Enabling my whorish behavior is not going to make things better."

Sadie is shocked. Admittedly, Lily does sound quite harsh in her selected course of action, but I know she doesn't mean to be. This has nothing to do with hating Alicia or liking her; Lily just has a standard set of personal rules that she abides by and honesty is something she values, particularly when it comes to things like this. She won't make an exception for this incident.

But at the same time, I don't agree with her in this case.

I know fully well that what Alicia did was wrong. She shouldn't have done it. But all the same, she is only human. She makes mistakes. When I saw the way she looked at me in that corridor, I could tell she would never do it again; and she's been so down lately that I just think she's desperate for anyone to take her in. She has issues she needs desperately to work out and it won't help if we barge in and tell the Marauders what she did when she was vulnerable. It's not fair to her.

So, because this is how I feel and I think it's important to bring to the table, I say, "Lils, I think we ought to cut her a bit of slack this time. I don't want to tell the Marauders about Alicia and Sirius."

"Are you joking?" demands Lily, who is clearly dead serious. "Alice…this girl almost had sex with Sirius. They never said so specifically, but I'm fairly certain the Marauders aren't supposed to do that with the contestants of their stupid game. And besides, James has a thing for her and…well…I think he needs to know the truth about the girl he fancies. Everyone should know the truth about the people they hang around everyday."

"But do you really want to be the one to break it to them?" asks Sadie. "I don't want to rat Alicia out. It…wouldn't feel right, after everything."

"Of course I don't want to and of course it won't feel right," says Lily, "but just because we like her, doesn't mean she's exempt from the rules. She went through with something and now she needs to pay the price for it. That's how the world works. You do what you've got to do."

Yes, you do need to do what you've got to do; but the current state of events makes that decision much more complex. Telling the Marauders about Alicia could wreck not only her chance for winning the game but also her emotional well-being. She's so unstable right now and toppling her over is something I'm very tentative about irritating the edgy balance she's holding up.

"But Lils, I'm curious," I say suddenly, a new thought shattering my others in a bolt of lightning. "Why are you advocating James's right to know about the girl he fancies?"

"Because everyone should have the right to know about the girl he fancies," says Lily. "I mean, what underwear she's wearing or personal secrets are off-limits, but big things – like affairs – ought to be at least a little bit in the open. Those are the things that tell you the most about a person."

"So you want James to know what's going on with Alicia because he fancies her?" I ask.

"Yes," says Lily simply.

"So you want to protect James from getting hurt if Alicia is unfaithful to him in a relationship?"

Lily is taken aback. "No," she says. "I'm not _protecting _him. I'm just…I'm stating his rights. That's it."

Sadie has caught on now, and asks, "But by stating his rights, aren't you protecting him?"

"It's a highly unfortunate but mild side-effect," Lily says would-be-casually. But the hint of fear and confusion is evident in her eyes and I've got her cornered – it's time to go in for the kill.

"Lily, you do want to protect him," I say warmly. "You don't want his heart to be broken if she wins and makes another idiotic mistake."

"How am I sparing him if I'm the one who will break his heart now?" counters Lily.

"Because you're nipping it at the bud," I counter right back. "You aren't letting her lead him on to anything or win and take him out. You're revealing her true colors while he still has a chance to do something about it. That's protection."

"You're insane," Lily announces. "I'm not protecting him – I'm not his mother."

"Lily, it's okay," says Sadie earnestly. "This is a _good _thing. It's okay to care about James's feelings, you know."

I can practically see the storm cloud darkening over poor Lily's head at this unexpected conversation, but Lily is determined to see the end of this and snaps at us, "No. Just no. I'm proposing this purely out of my own moral concerns, not James's emotional well-being. And if you two don't want to tell the Marauders at judging tomorrow, I'll do it myself."

Sadie bites her lip and exchanges glances with me. We are both extremely uneasy, mostly because we know Lily means business and she's unstoppable when she looks the way she does now. I still don't agree, but I don't see how I'm supposed to make my views known. I simply don't want to rat Alicia out.

"Lily…" I begin to say, sadly, half-heartedly, but Lily is not in the mood to swallow my argument.

"I'm telling them," she says, "and you can't stop me."

"You're being awfully harsh," Sadie says. "Alicia is in trouble. Why don't we figure out why before we land her in trouble?"

"Lils, I wouldn't rat you out," I say. "Don't rat her out either. Please?"

"You _should _rat me out if I do something like that," says Lily. "Look. I know I'm not looking forward to telling on Alicia, but I'm a firm believer in justice. The sooner she confronts what all she does, the sooner she'll be able to confront whatever weirdness she's struggling with right now. To be honest, I'm doing everyone a favor."

"If you could _see _her, you'd say differently," I insist. "Don't do it, Lils."

"Why are you so against telling on her?" asks Lily curiously.

"Why are you so determined to tell on her?" I respond.

"Because I'm doing what I believe in," she says shortly.

"Well, so am I," I say. "Lil, I don't disagree with you on a lot of things, but on this one, I'm all but begging you. Cut her some slack, all right? For me?"

Lily shakes her head, making Sadie sigh in lamentation and distress. "I'd rather be a coldhearted bitch than a girl who didn't make things right," she says firmly.

I sigh too, absolutely and completely frustrated. I can tell, now, that my plight is going nowhere. Lily is determined; and therefore, Alicia is doomed.

Glumly, Sadie switches topics and we all talk about the upcoming Quidditch match in a few weeks between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, but it's clear that Sadie and I are a little less than pleased with Lily's latest conviction.

Unfortunately, as fiery and independent and stubborn as she is, she can be all three on some of the worst matters in the world. And there's absolutely nothing anyone can do about it.

**&**

Tonight, when we four meet each other by the Room of Requirement as usual, the mood is even more somber than it usually is.

I can barely stand to look at Alicia after this afternoon. To be frank, she doesn't look much better than she did then. She's cleaner, neater, and more controlled, yes, but there's something dead in her eyes that wasn't there before. Her sparkles are gone, like popped bubbles, and I feel even worse, knowing what's going to happen tomorrow. I make a mental note to beg Lily not to do anything stupid when we're getting ready for bed, but I know somewhere deep inside of me that it will do no good.

No one really says anything, preferring to stare quietly out into space, until the Marauders arrive. Their disgusting cheeriness gets at least a little bit of a smile on all our faces.

"Hey ladies!" says Sirius brightly. "How are you today?"

"Fine," I say, because I know no one else is going to say anything.

"Well, that's a good start," says Sirius. "What about the rest of you? There are only four – you all are expected to answer now."

"We're fine, Sirius," says Lily. "That doesn't usually change much everyday."

"You didn't need to tack on that last bit," Sirius points out. "'We're fine, Sirius' would have done you just as well."

"I'm all right," says Sadie. "A bit tired, that's all."

Sirius nods. "Me too," he says, putting his hand up for a high-five. Sadie smiles and obliges. Sirius winks at her and then completely ignores Alicia, passing her by to stand by James (who is slightly befuddled by the lack of questioning).

James says, "Erm…so today your challenge is a bit different. We've seen lots of pictures of you girls these past few days, and we've seen what your creativity is capable of. That's all fine and great, but you girls need to know that we Marauders…we really love to _dance_."

My heart stops. Dancing. Oh Merlin, I hope we're not dancing today. I'm an awful dancer – absolutely dreadful.

"That's one thing all four of us have in common," says Peter with a grin. "Since there are four of you left in the competition, we're going to pair off and dance to two songs, a fast one and a slow one."

"I picked the songs, so don't worry, it's nothing explicit," Remus assures us, smirking.

"And surprisingly, the songs are still pretty good," says Sirius. "It should be fun. So let's get down to the classroom we've cleared out for this whole thing to work, shall we?"

Grinning impishly, Sirius leads the rest of us along down the corridor to the unused classroom we get to dance in today. Lily chuckles quietly at me on our way, because she knows I'm a dreadful dancer; but in between the chuckles, she gives me tips about how to make it seem like I know what I'm doing.

"Dance with Remus," she advises. "He's the one you'd go out with and he's also quite a good leader – very gentle."

"How do you know this?"

"I danced with him a couple of times during those celebration parties James and Sirius always throw after a Quidditch match," she says impatiently, "but that's not the point here. Let him lead you when you dance and follow along with his movements. Don't look down at your feet a lot though – keep it subtle and look him in the eye so he knows you're engaged. Make a little conversation, too, that never hurts. And just have fun with it. Even when you muff something, giggle and shrug it off."

"Easy for you to say, you're a good dancer," I say. "I can't do this, Lils."

"You can and you will," Lily insists. "You're going to be fine. Just dance with Remus. He'll be good to you."

"Who are you going to dance with?" I want to know. "James?"

"I'll try my best not to," she says grimly. "And I'd rather Transfigure myself into a flubberworm than dance with Sirius. I'll probably dance with Peter."

"You really ought to dance with James," I suggest.

"And you really ought to stop being a coward and ask out Frank Longbottom, but we're both going to have to deal with it, won't we?" Lily rolls her eyes and I glower at her; I hate it when she turns a conversation about her and James into one about me and Frank.

I almost regret telling her how I feel about Frank sometimes, because she's so bloody pushy about it.

Either way, we arrive at the classroom the Marauders selected for us and sure enough, the whole room has been cleared of desks to give us room. According to what Sirius whispers in Lily's ear, they were all moved to a magically-enlarged storage cupboard because they couldn't find any place for them. Only one remains and on it sits a slightly battered music player.

We get in two lines, girls one side and boys on the other, and we pair off. Alicia, to all our surprise, nabs Peter before any of us can move. Peter is certainly astonished, but he accepts her hand and they stand off to the side together, Alicia holding onto him tightly.

Taking Lily's suggestion, I partner with Remus, who smiles sweetly at me before standing off to the side with me.

This leaves Lily and Sadie with James and Sirius.

Sadie and Lily exchange looks, figuring out wordlessly who will take which boy, but before Lily can react, Sadie takes Sirius and leaves Lily with James. Inwardly, I do a little victory dance as Lily sighs and takes James's hand, joining the group of pairs.

Both of them have very cool expressions on their faces, Lily and James, and I certainly hope this works out properly for the two of them. Particularly when we dance to the slow song.

With flourish, Sirius goes to the music player and says, "We're doing the fast one first, so be ready." Then he hits a button and instantly, music begins to play. He rushes back to Sadie and I turn to Remus as we begin to move.

My first thought – Lily was right. Remus is definitely a good dancer.

He doesn't look it because he's slight, with light hair and a mild character, but he gets really into it. He's infinitely better than me, but I do my best to keep up, looking at him rather than my feet. Miraculously, I don't trip over myself for the whole song and I'm certainly grateful for it.

In fact, I'm almost having fun; because while I seem to have been doing well in challenges that involved five or more of us doing something together, I do prefer a one-on-one challenge like this. Just me and a nice boy dancing to a song I've heard before. It's easy and more than that, it's natural.

Remus is so easy to love. He's got a lovely, warm smile that makes his eyes crinkle, and his laugh is quite bubbly for a guy. He has great coordination, something I sorely wish I had. He makes me feel comfortable around him, as though he genuinely likes me and isn't doing me any favors by being here. He _wants _to do this. His sincerity is something that, through the handful of rubbish people I've dated, I have yet to see.

My crush on Frank is never going to go anywhere, which I'm already well aware of, so maybe I'll just date Remus steadily if I win this competition. He would be the perfect boyfriend, if this is how nicely he treats girls in a competition.

The song comes to a halt and Sirius shouts to us, "We're slowing things down now!" as the slow, tinkling exposition notes of the next song start to play.

Breathing substantially from the last dance, I chuckle and will myself to settle down, putting one of my hands on Remus's shoulder, holding his in my other. He obliges and slides his palm down to cup my hip, not at all overt or silly or anything. He has a very gentle touch about him and I instantly relax, stepping to the rhythm with him, swaying and cuddling in close. He obliges that too, and pulls me again so that we're almost touching in the front.

"You know," I muse as we continue stepping, "this has to be my favorite challenge so far and I don't even like to dance."

Remus chuckles. "Well, that's good," he says easily. "I'm glad you gave it a try."

"I have a good partner," I admit with a blush.

"Well, so do I," says Remus, twirling me around and bringing me back in. "We're evenly matched that way, then."

"I suppose so." I smile, the blush still warm on my cheeks, and I glance over Remus's shoulder at Lily and James, who are also in ballroom position, but farther apart than they probably should be. Lily's expression is concentrated and it's clear that the two are murmuring about something over there. I make a mental note to ask Lily about this later tonight, when we get in.

Remus turns to see what I'm looking at and instantly, he gets it and chuckles at me.

"What a twist of luck," he remarks. "I honestly thought Alicia or Sadie would snap up James and Lily would go with someone else. Me or Peter, seeing as Sirius isn't exactly her favorite person in the world."

"I know," I say. "I'm so glad they're dancing though. They need desperately to talk about things. They're so damn stubborn."

"It's kind of sad," says Remus. "He stubbornly fancies her and she stubbornly avoids him. You know, one reason Sirius was so gung-ho about this at the beginning (besides the obvious) was because he wanted to expose James to other girls. Get him to forget the girl who initially caught his attention in favor of someone who will actually give them the time of day."

Instantly, I bite my lip, some of the joy in this challenge evaporating out of me. I do a spontaneous twirl to give my face a snatch of extra time to regulate once more.

"Really?" I ask. "And how is that working out for him?"

"Not well," he confesses. "He's got it bad."

"It's tough, fancying someone who doesn't much acknowledge your existence," I say. "I can sympathize with that."

"Really?" The look on Remus's face is one of genuine concern.

"Everyone can, in some way or another," I say. "I'm sure you other three have a girl that got away as well."

"Well, Wormtail has had a couple, but Sirius doesn't and I've never particularly cared for a relationship," Remus says frankly. "I've never understood why Peter could never just _tell _them. It's not difficult."

"How would you know?" I ask half-teasingly.

"I told one girl I liked her when I was in third year," says Remus. "I won't disclose her name at this time, but I did tell her how I felt and she rejected me kindly before never speaking to me again. A fairly harmless course of action."

My stomach instantly tightens into a knot-ball of epic proportions. "So you would suggest getting it over with and just saying how you feel," I inquire.

"Yes," he says simply. "It's easier than wallowing, believe it or not." There's something knowing in his eyes as he gives me another twirl to compose myself.

Then he says, "Alice, you are a wonderful girl. You really are. If there's someone you care about, he should know. I think he would feel like the luckiest bloke in the world."

The song now winds down to its end and Remus smiles that lovely, warm smile of his at me, the one that soothes me from the inside out. He gives me a little bow, to which I curtsy, and we finish it off with a firm hand-shake. Remus has a good one. We turn around and Remus goes to join the Marauders, while we girls congregate together in our own line.

"Well, that was fun, you lot," says Sirius, winking at Sadie. "Thanks for a very pleasant seven minutes."

"See you girls tomorrow," adds James. His smile is classic James on the surface – wide, friendly, open – but I can see something brooding in his features that instantly puts me into interrogation-sergeant mode. I must talk to Lily.

The boys dismiss us from the classroom and we leave together for the Room of Requirement. The second the door is safely closed behind us, I go straight for Lily.

"Lily Evans, what the hell happened in there?" I demand at once.

"Nothing," Lily says in a hard voice that means she's lying and doesn't feel like covering it up.

"Bollocks," I say. "Tell me what happened. What did you say? What did he do?"

Lily closes her eyes, briefly looking tired and wan, and then she opens them, facing me, so startlingly green.

"I'll tell you later," she says resignedly. "Let's get to the Room of Requirement first."

And I, frustrated but extremely curious, accept her explanation as we walk down the corridor together in mutual pursuit of the aforementioned room.

--

A/N: So there is more **added conflict** now – Lily/James and Alicia/Sirius. **Exciting**. The next chapter **shall serve as a better explanation **of what all been going on (**except the LJ**, which shall be taken care of in **Chapter 18**). Yay!

**Six **chapters left, guys. I'm **making them count**.

I am **not writing a promo **for the next chapter. **Review **with your **comments** and **guesses **and we'll **go from there**.

Thanks!!


	17. And Then There Were 3

A/N: This story has been** nominated for an Hourglass Award** for **Best AU Fic **down at the **Unknowable Room**! SQUEE!! **Many thanks **to the person/people who nominated me. I am **incredibly honored**.

But, on a chapter-related note, I **enjoyed getting **this bit together. It's **tough**, being **dramatic **and **in-character **at the same time; but **the plot I'm trying to pull is ambitious (for me, anyway) **and I'm **doing my best**.

My **main defense for all the questionable madness **is simply that people can be **stupid**. **Especially **the ones we **love**. **One action **doesn't tell the full story – just **a part of it**. **Keep that in mind** when you make your assessments on these characters, all right?

So, **here you go**, guys. Siriusly. And **review**!

Cheers!  
Xx

--

**Alicia Harrison**

--

I am screwed.

That's the simple truth of the matter.

I am utterly and dreadfully screwed.

All day today, I have been in limbo, in this weird dream-world where nothing is as it should be and nothing makes any sense at all. Everything I've known has been turned upside down and to be frank, I think I'm losing control. I think I'm falling apart. Everything is confusing and rough and painful and I'm hurting. So much. I have never felt like this before.

I have been told by everyone who knows me that I have a habit of being slightly bipolar. I'm up, then I crash all the way down before finding my way back up once more. Mood swings are old hat for me, but staying in one mood for two long – whether it's a good one or bad one – is very uncommon.

That's why it's been so weird for me, being so down for so many days. I can barely muster the energy to get up in the mornings. People try to comfort me (i.e. Sadie, Verity) but I push them away and then wonder why no one will come here and save me.

What I need is someone who will force me to be okay, but you can't tell someone that and have it work. It's just not right.

So now here I am, me, stripped of everything that made me appealing and leaving some other girl behind. Sirius told me at last panel that I had "died or something." In a way, he's kind of right. All the good in me died somewhere along the way and I'm stuck with whatever's left.

Currently, I'm in disgrace. I feel so awful. During today's challenge, which was dancing, Sirius wouldn't look at me, not even once. He didn't even talk to me. It was so awkward. He was basically pretending that I didn't exist – and it's not like I wanted a huge fanfare or roses or anything. I just wanted some kind of acknowledgement from him that everything was understood between us.

It isn't. He wants to bury it away, forget it ever happened, ignore anything he might have felt snogging me.

And if that isn't bad enough, nobody else (i.e. Lily and Sadie) has said anything yet. I'm almost positive they know, because Alice has no reason not to tell them anything, but neither of them has referenced it in any way. Neither of them have spoken to me either. Not even Alice spoke to me after lunch. It's like I'm invisible to everyone and the feeling is so horrible, so distressing, that I almost want to scream because I want them to look at me again.

All I've ever wanted is for people to look at me and usually, they do. I'm the funny one, the mad one, who cracks jokes and prunes egos on the Quidditch pitch and acts like one of the guys. But I want only to be seen, not touched – and when people get to know me and they try to probe farther than what I offer them, I shrink away.

I avoid commitment for this reason – I don't want to be touched, messed with, left vulnerable. Vulnerability is awful. Vulnerability leaves you susceptible to all the evil in the world, like you've lost your skin and you're left with only that raw pink layer underneath to protect you. I don't like that. I prefer being in control.

I'm a carefully composed person, to be frank; and the reason I no longer am is because Lucille, that damned Lucille, ruined it for me.

I don't know how she did it, but she caught me off-guard. She told me I was fake. She told me no one cared about me because I _was _too funny, mad, jokey, too much like one of the guys. She made everything I was sound like a crime; and the way she put it, I couldn't help but believe her.

She killed me that night. She did. My worst nightmares unfolded before my eyes in the space of three seconds – I was vulnerable, I was stupid, I was worthless, I was easy to use. She got everything about me in just a few words and I felt like shit. I felt like I was less than shit. And I haven't stopped feeling like that on and off no matter what I do afterwards.

Because every subsequent time I made a joke or smiled at the Marauders, I couldn't stop imagining Lucille's face and what her mouth might say if she was watching at that second.

Everything she had told me that one goddamn night had been eating me up inside; and today, finally, after so much endless wallowing, the situation became to be way too much for me to handle.

There was only one thing I could do: I had to talk to Sirius. I had to find out the truth.

So, this afternoon when I saw him on his way to the boy's bathroom, I cornered him and made my move.

"Hey, we need to talk," I told him, hands on my hips, looking him right in the eye. He was astonished to see me look so solemn.

"Erm…all right then, go ahead," he said. "What's going on?"

I couldn't beat around the bush any longer. I had to purge this, get it out of me. I asked him straight off the bat, "Is it true, what you told Lucille about me during her interview? That James was only using me to get over Lily in this competition?"

Sirius blinked, uncomprehending, and stared at me a good twenty seconds before it finally dawned on him what I was talking about. Then the emotions flashed pretty quickly on his face – surprise, guilt, resentment, self-disgust – and his hand went straight to his hair, like James's always does.

"Oh…that," he said lamely.

"Yes, _that_," I responded, strained. "Lucille said you told her that. Is it true?"

"Look, Alicia, you have to understand…" said Sirius, his eyes dark. "I just…I didn't mean…"

"Soit _is _true!" Immediately, I feel the tears brimming in my eyelids. "Merlin…I can't believe I've been so stupid…"

"No, Alicia, listen to me," he said, urgent, as he held my shoulders tight, locking me there and not letting me go. "Alicia…it's not as bad as it sounds."

"Yeah? Try me."

I was so beyond these lies. I was so beyond this whole competition. Sirius Black couldn't do a thing to change it, either.

"James likes you, Alicia," says Sirius. "He really, really likes you. With the whole Lily situation going on, you were a girl he could latch onto, get a good laugh with. You kind of saved him. He's had a bit of a soft spot for you for a while now and when he picked you for the competition, it had nothing to do with using you to get over Lily. Merlin…I didn't realize how badly I'd worded it to Lucille and I didn't realize she'd actually tell people…"

Okay…so maybe he _could _change it a little bit.

The truth of the matter was, really, that the look on his face was genuine. He was truly and honestly sorry about the harm he'd inadvertently caused me. He pitied how upset I was. It socked me in the gut all over again to see him like that, to know how he regarded me. It felt awful, but at the same time, it felt kind of nice, because it had been a while since someone looked at me that way.

Bottom line, he cared about me. He cared about me at a vulnerable moment when I hated myself and felt that the world hated me too. And that, more than anything, resonated in me and led me to do the things I did afterward.

"Are you…sure?" I asked him hesitantly.

"Yes," said Sirius. "Alicia, we don't want to hurt you. That's not the goal here. James wouldn't use you like that. Ever."

I pursed my lips and tried not to cry, looking into Sirius's open face, so full of concern. My throat was so thick, I could barely swallow. So James did like me after all. Like Sirius, he cared. He cared before I even knew so. But he didn't show it. He was over me. He belonged with Lily Evans. He'd be an idiot if he still liked me.

But I was sick of it, just damn sick of it. I was sick of having to worry if people liked me or not. I was sick of having to worry about being good enough, of running away from myself and all the things I was. I hated being me and at that moment, all I wanted was to be wanted. That's it. I wanted someone to reach out to me and never want to see me walk away.

As if I was in a dream, I wrapped my arms around Sirius and buried my face into his shoulder. He put his arms around my waist, pulling me in and holding me close, and it felt good, being held like that. Feeling that uncomfortable jerk behind my navel, I let my nose graze against the skin of his neck, my nostrils filled with the concentrated smell of him, my touch as gentle as I could go.

I could swear I felt his breath hitch ever so slightly in his throat and that spurred me on. I stood on the tip of my toes and kissed the soft skin of his earlobe. He didn't stop me. Instead, he held me tighter. He tilted his head to the side and let me work my way down his jaw, my speed quickly picking up.

He tasted nice. He wasn't shoving me away. I pushed him up against the wall between the girl's room and the boy's room, my hands moving to his chest, my body pressed up against his.

I looked him in the eye and I could swear I saw something there that wanted this too, wanted it as much as I did. A burst of adrenaline exploded through my brain and my gut and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed him.

I leaned in and I didn't wait. I kissed him and I felt no resistance. I rarely ever kissed guys because dating them was much harder than challenging them to burping contests, but this, this felt wonderful. This was more than I could've dreamed. His lips seemed to be made for mine – soft, warm, rich.

We kissed hard, my hands mussing his hair, his hands still on my hips, his fingers rubbing deep circles in my pelvis. The speed picked up, my blood rushed. I could feel myself needing more of him, more than he could ever give me, and I thrust my tongue in his mouth, willing him to explore me. He obliged, at first with reluctance and then with very little at all.

From there…well…it's easy to predict what happened next. His fingers got very nosy, coming into my skirt and around my thighs. I was in too much of a state to care. All I knew was that he wanted me and I wanted him and there was no reason why we shouldn't be together. I kissed him so hard it was tough to breathe. I wanted to make love to him right there in the middle of the corridor – and for a few seconds out of time, I felt like he would.

Then, as he finally began to get into it properly, Alice walked in and caught us at it: Sirius's hand under my thigh, his shirt unbuttoned, both of us hungrily ravaging each other.

I can't even say how embarrassing it was to see her there, bewildered and horrified and lost for words. I burned bright red, the shame and silliness and emotional poverty in this throw-away fling branding me like poor Hester's scarlet letter.

And then Sirius, the boy who wanted me just a few minutes ago, pushed me away and didn't look at me and muttered his excuses and ran away. He left me there. He didn't want me after all. Of course he didn't. But why had he pretended he had? Was it pity, or just amusement that some girl was stupid enough to snog him in the middle of the corridor?

The despair that came when Alice found me was almost too much to bear. It was vast, cavernous, a balloon blowing up in my body and threatening to explode me. Nobody truly wanted me at all, regardless of who I tried to be – not James, not even Sirius.

And so I cried. For the first time in a long time, I fell apart and I cried.

Alice was good to me though. I don't think I'll ever forget how nice she was. She didn't say anything, just picked me up off the floor and took me to the bathroom to wash my face. She didn't ask a single question. She took care of me and dropped me off in the Gryffindor common room so she could go back to lunch. She brought me a sandwich. I didn't deserve her loveliness, so I cried again over my sandwich; shivering and cold and upset and alone again. I think I'm always going to end up alone.

My throat kept closing up after that. It was so hard to talk, so I didn't – not if I could help it, anyway. Thankfully, the challenge didn't involve any talking. All we had to do was dance. Because James doesn't care about me and Sirius probably hates me and Remus is too good for me, I pick Peter – he is my safest bet.

Peter is the quieter Marauder, the one people sometimes forget about when you've got vibrant people like James and Sirius heading the group. He looked ready to crap himself when I chose him to be my partner. He danced really, really well, but I simply wasn't into it. My mind was in a million other places and I was merely grateful that he didn't press me for conversation like the other boys would have.

He danced with me, straight and minimal. That's all we shared. That's all I could handle. I thanked him when we were done, because he didn't ask me for anything, nor did he offer me anything. It was the kindest thing he could have done for me and he did it.

And now here I am, back in the Room of Requirement, lying here, alone, as Lily and Alice and Sadie converse.

It makes a sick sort of sense that they are enjoying themselves, having a great old time, while I am silent, drowning in the misery of my current situation: I am the fake, pitiable moron who, for all her bravado, can't hold her head up in the face of human beings; while the other girls who don't bounce around as much as I do enjoy their evening together.

I can't take their contentment. It's too much for me. It reminds me how far I've really fallen, all for nothing.

I can't take their contentment. I don't bother to undress as I force myself to quietly, tearfully, slip into an uneasy sleep.

**&**

In the morning, nothing looks better than it did last night. Fuck the person who came up with that idea. If anything, I feel even worse now – heavy, sluggish, lazy. I want to go right back to bed and eat donuts for the rest of my life. I feel like a despicable piece of vermin, which isn't so far from the truth.

I trudge out of bed, though, and grab something at random to wear. I have already skived class on other days and I should probably go today. I don't speak to the other girls as I get dressed and they don't make any attempts at speaking to me. It's fine. I don't need them to talk to me. I give my short hair a half-hearted fluff and direct my thoughts towards breakfast because breakfast doesn't hurt.

However, I'm surprised; because when Lily and Alice leave, Sadie tells them she'll be there in a few minutes and then she approaches me. Her olive eyes are frantically worried – which gives me a sick, perverse sort of satisfaction that I can't really explain. I work hard to maintain eye contact with her.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Alicia, I'm bloody worried about you," she informs me. "Why won't you hang out with us anymore? Why won't you smile?"

She's asked me this before. Verity has asked me this before. I have seen Alice wanting to ask me this before. I enjoy her anxiety on my behalf – it's nice to be cared about – but as I always do, I don't let her in. I just sigh.

"It's not a big deal, Sadie, honest," I drone. "I'm going to be all right. I'm a bit tired, that's all."

"Bullshit!" She begins wringing my shoulders, alarming me, the warmth of her hands registering the most in my head. "Alicia, you are _not all right_. Tell me, what's going on? How are you feeling? Are you sick? Are you depressed?"

"I'm–"

"Don't tell me you're bloody fine!" Sadie is mildly hysterical now. It's beginning to scare me. "Alicia, you are in trouble. I know what happened yesterday. I'm not clear on the details, but I really do think you're going a bit mad and I want to help you. Can you let me?"

And there it is. That invitation, the one I've been pining for. The person who's demanding my well-being to bounce back up, the person who wants to save me. I thought she'd given up on me, and it means the world to me that she hasn't.

On a strange, barely-recognizable impulse, I feel my features soften and crumple. I fall forward, all my weight resting on Sadie, and she catches me and keeps me standing. She hugs me, squeezes me firmly, and I cry (for the third bloody time) into her soft shoulder. She's disconcerted (to say the least), but she's still here and so am I.

"I'm not okay," I admit into Sadie's shirt.

Sadie strokes my hair and runs her hand comfortingly down my back. "I know," she says.

We stand there, me and Sadie, with me being the soft one in her arms; but Sadie is as patient as the Earth. She would've stood there until time ended, if that meant doing me any good. I don't know where I got lucky and found her, but I did and I have her and I need her and I'm sorry I'm so awful to her. But I just can't explain how I'm feeling. It's impossible. The words won't come out of my throat. I have forgotten how to speak up for myself.

So for now, I let my silence say everything as I rest on Sadie, cared about after what feels like far too long, and I feel my tears dry up from my eyelashes.

As if it's on a chain, I feel some invisible mighty force yank my mood up from the depths of my melancholy. All of a sudden, things look brighter. Easier. Accessible. Like the world is just beyond the tips of my fingers and I can reach, reach, reach and maybe I'll be able to grab something worth taking.

Sometimes, it's nice to be slightly bipolar – because finally, something came through for me and I'm going to be okay again.

I can feel it in my bones and it's such beautiful warmth, like a burst of sunshine, spreading from my head to my toes and everything in between.

I mean something. That's why Sadie is here, why the Marauders have been so alienated and giving me space, why Lucille had to lash out at me in the first place.

I'm going to be okay; and I love that.

**&**

After class, going off to meet the Marauders in front of the Room of Requirement, I am not the least bit afraid. I'm actually quite fearless, marching down like I own the place, keeping my head up high, feeling a bit more like my old sparkly self.

It feels nice, having all that weight off of me. I'm lighter – I'm free.

The moment I arrive in the corridor, I see that the other three girls are already there. I beam excitedly at them.

"Hey girlies!" I bound forward and give Sadie a big hug. "How are you lot?"

Alice and Lily exchange confused looks. "Erm…fine," says Alice cautiously.

"You're certainly feeling better," remarks Lily. "Well done."

"Thanks," I say, my beam still firmly in place. "Did you three just get here, or am I late?"

"No, we just got here," says Sadie, who is smiling now too. "The Marauders ought to be here in the next couple of minutes for judging."

"Great," I say. "I don't think I'm going to get the best critique today, but if they're nice enough to keep me, I think I can do better."

"I'm sure." Lily's voice is very smooth, even – a little more so than it needs to be. But I'm too happy to be happy to care much.

"Right," I say. "So how are you? What's going on?"

"Nothing much," says Lily. "But hey, Alicia, can I talk to you for a second?"

The moment she says this, the other two go dead silent, staring fearfully at me. I'm a little freaked out, to be honest, but somewhere deep in my gut, I think I know what she wants to talk to me about. I just hope I'm wrong.

I swallow thickly, slightly uncertain, and say, "All right. You want to come over here, then?"

"Perfect." Lily takes my arm and pulls me a few meters over so that Alice and Sadie are better out of earshot. Alice in particular looks distraught that I am talking to Lily. That confirms my fear – she has to be concerned about the whole Sirius-and-me-in-the-corridor thing.

"Okay, Alicia," says Lily, very business-like. "Alice told us about you and Sirius yesterday afternoon."

"I figured she had," I say, deflating just a little bit. "But honestly, Lily, I'm telling you – it's…not what you think it is. It's never going to happen again, I swear. Not with anyone."

It's true. I'm not snogging anyone anymore. I've already snogged two people in this competition and I'm through with it. I'm through with loving too. From now on, it's going to be purely platonic or I'm running the other direction.

However, Lily doesn't know about my resolution at all. She kind of raises her eyebrow at me, like she's taking in what I'm saying but she doesn't really believe me.

"That's all fine and well," she says, "but I really…I think the Marauders need to know about this."

My heart sinks. "Sirius might have already told them," I say.

"But they need to hear it from you," insists Lily. Then she sighs, big and deep. Her expression is irrefutable – she is not enjoying this unpleasant task in the least.

"Look," she says. "I'm big on justice and keeping this a secret is just not how I do things. Alice and Sadie think I'm kind of a bitch because of the way I feel about your…almost-fling…with Sirius. But I maintain that you're out of control. You can't just nearly have sex with a judge and expect everything to stay the same."

"So what are you trying to say here?" I feel my gut constrict with fear.

Lily bites down on her lip. "What I was leading up to is very simple," she says. "Tell the other Marauders when they call you up to judge or I'll tell them myself. Either way, they have to hear it from one of us. Preferably you."

"Are you honestly going to tell them?" I ask, panicked.

"If you don't, then I have to," she says. "It's not fair. If you did something wrong, you need to rough out the consequences for it."

I can see that she's thought long and hard about this and if I don't follow through, she'll tell them for me. She's like that – I think Lily's probably one of the bravest people I know. I did do something wrong and I do need to rough out what happens from there. She's attempting to give me the chance to fix it myself and I decide I'm going to take it.

Of all the idiotic things I've done while I've been part of the Top Model game, I want to turn at least one unfortunate incident around. Even if it sends me back (which it most likely will), I'll leave with the knowledge that I've done something right.

"All right," I finally say to Lily. "Just before deliberation, when they dismiss us to go out, I'll tell them what happened."

Lily's initial reaction is plain, simple relief. "Thank goodness," she says, grinning. "Otherwise…blimey. That would have been awfully embarrassing."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to clean up my messes for me," I say. "I'll do it myself."

"Thank you," she says sincerely.

"Is that why Alice and Sadie looked like they might die when you pulled me over to talk?" I ask, glancing over her shoulder at the two girls, who are trying their best not to look back here.

"Yeah," says Lily, rolling her eyes. "They thought I'd be a blunt, irrational prat. A lot of people expect that from me, for some reason. I've never figured out why."

I chuckle. "Well, don't worry about this one," I assure her. "I think I know what I'm going to say."

Lily nods. "Good for you," she says. "C'mon. I think I hear Marauder feet."

I nod too, and the two of us return to our original places with Sadie and Alice. Lily whispers something in both their ears – presumably what we just talked about – and they look apprehensively at me. They're more anxious than I am, which is mildly amusing. I have a feeling they tried talking Lily out of mutinying against me at judging, for which I'm touched but frustrated.

To be honest, I agree with Lily. I'm glad she talked me back to my senses.

However, it's time to put this matter temporarily behind us, because the boys have arrived together, all four of them. Sirius carefully avoids my eye, but it doesn't bother me. I'm actually feeling sunnier than ever.

Before Sirius can open his mouth to say hello, as usual, I say, "Hey boys! What's up?" and put my hand out for a high-five.

All four boys stare at me, astonished.

"Erm…nothing much, Alicia, thanks," says James, hesitantly giving me the high-five.

"Aww, you boring prat, I'm sure you've done _something _stupid today," I tease.

"Actually, we did," Sirius interjects pleasantly. "We kind of switched Sluggy's demo potion for tomorrow with a mixture of lettuce and Venomous Tentacula droppings from the greenhouses. It's set to blow if he so much as touches it! And we got it to give off a smell like James after a rainy Quidditch practice!"

"Unfortunately, I was the only idiot brave enough to actually get the droppings," Peter mutters mutinously, shooting Sirius in particular a disgruntled look.

"Hey, hey, Wormy, I mixed up the lettuce all by myself," chastises Sirius. "We all have our jobs and that happened to be yours."

"Sirius, you insolent bastard," says Remus. I'm ninety-eight percent sure he's kidding.

Sirius grins. "Remus, you adorable scruff-ball."

Remus opens his mouth, but James says, "Right then, you overly-sarcastic arses – shall we get on to judging now, or would you like to bicker for thirty more seconds?"

"I think they're good," says Peter before either of them can answer. "C'mon, boys."

And he gestures for the boys to follow him to the unused classroom for today.

James gives me a very lovely smile before he walks with Sirius and instantly, I know things are all right again. Yesterday's business will be resolved, James is smiling again, and I'm back and better than ever. I just hope things go decent enough today.

We eight walk together down a few corridors until we get to the new classroom-of-the-day. This has become routine for me by now. The boys settle in at their desk, lovely and cozy, and we four assemble ourselves in our line. I can barely keep myself still. I'm buzzing with excitement. The world has miraculously become the sharpest, most amazing place I could possibly be. It's so great to be alive.

"Now," says Sirius, taking command from his seat, "you girls had a dancing challenge today with one of us. So because it was pretty individual, we figured you'd get critiqued only by the Marauder you danced with."

"Which basically means that Sirius would like to go first and enjoy the lovely sound of his own voice," translates Remus.

"Very good, Moony!" Sirius beams.

"Hey, what if I want to go first?" challenges James.

"Then you sit tight, pretty boy, and let me finish before you go," says Sirius. He conjures a pair of sunglasses out of nowhere and puts them on, no doubt feeling extremely cool behind his shades.

"Oh, _I'm _the pretty boy?" James scoffs. "Two can play at this game." He conjures his own sunglasses, which are slightly bigger than Sirius's, and he puts them on, pulling a very tough pose.

"It's _on_, Pads," he says.

"It's _been _on," retorts Sirius.

"Okay, thank you, please turn it off now," says Remus, groaning as Peter laughs. "Would one of you like to go, or shall I judge Alice first?"

"Nah, I want to go first," says Sirius. "Pretty judges always go first."

"So why the hell aren't you going last?" inquires James.

"Watch it, Jamie," says Sirius.

"Merlin!" Remus throws his hands in the air as chuckles explode from all over the room. "We're done now! I'm going first and that's final." His piercing glare is enough to silence Sirius, who subsides and rests his cheek in the palm of his hand, his elbow on the table. Remus, satisfied, gestures for Alice come to the front and she does, still grinning.

"Hey, Remus," she says.

"Hey, Alice," he responds pleasantly. "So your dancing…you told me you couldn't do it and you hated it, but really, you weren't bad at all."

Alice blinks. "That's a surprise," she says.

"Nah, it wasn't," says Remus sweetly. "I mean, the only issue I had was that you were too cautious. You were afraid to make a move unless I made one first. But that's silly, because you were doing fine. Remember, the thing about dancing is that it's natural. Unless you're Sirius, you're not doing it to impress people."

"Oh, darling, don't be jealous that I don't have to _try _to impress people," Sirius remarks.

"You don't need to be so inhibited," continues Remus as though he hadn't been interrupted. "It's okay to let go a little, be less than perfect."

"Right," says Alice, her smile beautiful and wide and making her eyes crinkle. She really does have a lot of natural beauty, that Alice. "Thanks, Remus," she says, stepping back into the line.

"You're welcome," says Remus.

"Yeah, great job, Alice. Okay, my turn!" Sirius bursts brightly. "Come here, Sadie. Let me judge you, you lovely little lady."

Sadie laughs her sincere, choky laugh at this and steps forward with shining eyes. I know that she's not fully aware of what went down with me and Sirius in the corridor yesterday, but I can't help but feel bitter and sad watching her enjoy his company.

He killed me. He did. The conditions were not ideal – me, the weeping willow and him, the equally-commitment-wary Top Model judge – but that doesn't change the way we felt. Why is he so charming? Why is it so easy to trust him? He's more than he lets on. He's different. We would happily tell him all our secrets, but he us won't tell any of his. With some people, you know the moment you look them in the eye.

However, Sadie is thoroughly enjoying herself as Sirius tells her what all she did well and awfully. He makes jokes and demonstrates different movements that stuck out to him as he danced with her. The Marauders (including Remus) giggle along a little and Lily cracks a couple of grins.

When I see him, I can kind of empathize with him. He's good at being what people want him to be; but when you get him alone and put some pressure on him by, say, snogging him, he is unsure. He doesn't always do the right thing. He's not at all like the sparkly individual people expect him to be at every second of the day.

He's probably a sensitive, loyal guy inside. I think he really is. Guys like him, they're softer than they like to be. I can empathize with that too. Hell, I _know _a lot of guys who are like that. They can be such idiots sometimes.

Sirius finishes her critique and Peter fights for his right to go next. James allows it, albeit grudgingly. I am suddenly called up to the stand with Peter and he smiles at me. When you look closely, he does have a great smile.

"Hey, Alicia," he says.

"Hey, Petey," I say with a friendly wave. "How goes it?"

"Fine, fine," he responds with a nod of his head. "So…your dancing."

"Yeah…my dancing," I repeat. "It probably wasn't the best I'd ever done, I'll own up to that one straight off the bat. I wasn't feeling too well last night."

From the corner of my eye, I would like to think that Sirius looks a tad uncomfortable.

"I figured," says Peter. "I mean, you weren't _bad_, per se. Just…dispirited. Bland, you know? Like you wanted to be asleep in bed rather than dancing to a fast song."

"I did, to be honest," I say. "It's bad, but honest, Peter, I'm better now. I can do whatever else you want me to do."

"I certainly hope so, Alicia," says Peter. "I was excited to dance with you and you…you kind of failed to deliver."

"Ouch!" remarks Sirius. "That was harsh, Wormy. Be nice to the poor girl, why don't you?"

There are so many ways I could take this comment that I decide not to even look in Sirius's direction. Implications are endless and the careless tone doesn't help matters in the least. It's like one of those maths problems they give you as a kid – you know, where they say you've got five shirts in eight colors and ten pairs of pants and they want to know how many combinations you can make.

For Sirius, it's like eight different meanings for his expression, twenty-five meanings for his tone, and eighty-five meanings for his words. Depending on how you take it, he could be saying anything from 'You're a right bastard, Peter Pettigrew' to 'Alicia, I'm so sorry about what happened, I love you, let's get married and have eight children together.'

However, I refuse to dwell on this any longer. I clear my head and properly focus back in on Peter.

"You really are a fun person to have around, but lately, you've been a bit of a storm cloud and I hope that you're going to pull yourself together, because there's only so much time we can give you to figure things out," he is saying.

"No, I'm all good now, Peter," I say serenely. "What was bothering me before isn't bothering me anymore. I've taken care of business."

Let Sirius make of _that _what he will.

"Right then, glad to hear it," says Peter. "Thanks, Alicia." He waves at me and dismisses me back to the line of girls waiting there.

"So our last one of the evening would be you, Lily," says James rather coolly. "Come on up."

"Okay," says Lily, equally cool, as she comes up before him. Instantly, the atmosphere tenses up, sort of, because no one's sure what to do about these two people having a conversation for even two minutes. James eyes Lily and Lily eyes James and it's quiet for a few seconds as they take each other in, judging how hard to bring in the cavalry for this critique.

"Well, your dancing was good," says James finally. "I'll give you that much."

"I'm glad you think so," says Lily, her tone laden with quiet mockery I'm sure he can sense.

"I do," he says, icy cool. "Your sense of rhythm is excellent and you certainly aren't afraid of…doing exactly what you want to do."

"Living in fear is not something I intend to do," she says. "Live your life, live it well, and deal with the repercussions. That's my motto."

"I thought your motto was 'James Potter is an ignorant prat?'" James inquires politely.

"That's my other motto," she clarifies.

I have no idea how they do this, continue on with their banter when there are other people in the room, watching them at it. Despite the numerous pairs of eyes on them and only them, they are focused only on each other, like the whole rest of the world has fallen away and the universe has shrunken down for the two of them. It's romantic, in a really weird sort of way.

"You have a way about you, Lily Evans," says James. "You are…something else entirely. Absolutely extraordinary."

"I'm quite flattered," she says. "You're something else entirely as well."

James's smile is wry and frustrated and captivated and overwhelmingly sweet. Lily is much the same – mischievous, roughly affectionate. I really hope Lily wins the competition just so she takes James out. They're kind of epic together.

"Thanks, Lily," says James. "Really. Thanks."

"You're welcome, James," says Lily. "Really."

James's smile now takes on a goofy layer as he rumples his hair and averts his eyes away, like he's enjoying a private joke. Lily chews on her lip and twirls her hair and comes back to us, trying to be inconspicuous and ice-cool but not succeeding.

She doesn't like it, but James has thawed her out – and she conveniently overlooks the fact that she has thawed him out too.

I repeat: I really hope Lily wins the competition just so she takes James out. They're kind of epic together.

However, judging is over now, and Sirius tells us, "Right…the time has come for us judges to deliberate now, so you ladies run along to the corridor, will you? We'll call you in a few minutes."

I catch Lily's eye and I am met with a fierce eagle's glare, but she doesn't need to worry. I am going to come clean. Sirius has not done anything drastically different here in today's judging, but I'm going to squeeze the truth out of him. I will. It's time to break someone's heart and fix my own at the same time.

So when Sirius leans back in his chair to watch us go, I don't go. I stay put and I say quite firmly, "Wait. There's something I want to tell you first, before you deliberate."

Again, the mood tenses, but only slightly, because the girls and Sirius are the only ones who truly understand what this means. James, Remus, and Peter are totally in the dark.

"Is there something wrong, Alicia?" asks James.

"Yes," I say. My heart is beating so fast in my chest, I have no idea how it's staying put in there. My gut is telling me to turn back, turn back while I still can, but my brain tells my gut to shut the fuck up and finish what it started. My gut grudgingly obeys and I swallow thickly.

"Look, James, I haven't been entirely honest with you," I say, "and I want to tell the truth."

"That would be nice," says James, slightly worried. "What haven't you been telling me?"

I take another breath. This is so nerve-wracking. I need to just say it, purge it, get it out of my system. I find the words in my throat somewhere and I blurt them out, kind of in a rush:

"James, I almost slept with Sirius yesterday afternoon and I am so, so, so sorry."

And there it is. There's the truth. There is the final straw in this weirdness that has been going on for so long. I almost slept with Sirius. That's what happened. That's what really, really happened.

James looks like he might die.

"_What_?" he demands. "You almost slept with Sirius?"

Sirius goes pale white.

"I wasn't going to sleep with her," he says at once.

"You were going to and you know it," I accuse him. I look to James, who is shell-shocked. "Yesterday afternoon, I was feeling a little vulnerable and snogged Sirius on an impulse," I say. "It was wrong, but he didn't push me away. Alice caught us, but if she hadn't, we would have followed through. I know we would have."

"Is that true?" James asks, his hazel eyes overflowing with grief as he searches his best friend for something other than the unpleasant truth. "You would have slept with Alicia?"

"I…she…it was a rubbish situation, all right?" says Sirius, clearly lost for words. "It was not my finest moment, but she was upset and she snogged me. I…dunno. I snogged her back. It felt right at the time, but Prongs, honest, I don't feel that way about her at all."

"Well, _she _has a name," I fire back. "My name is Alicia. Use it in the future, please."

James looks from one to the other, Sirius to me and then back to Sirius, and I can tell he hasn't been able to grasp the whole situation yet. Remus is astonished, staring at me with a mixture of revulsion and horror. Peter is more outraged than astonished, but there's definitely an element of both on his face. The room is pin-drop silent. I can tell instinctively that _both _of us, Sirius _and _I, are being held in total disgrace.

"I just…I can't believe you two would do something like this," says James, so hopeless and dejected and confused and quietly furious that I feel a wave of guilt all over again. "Alicia…I'm sure you already know, but I liked you. Really liked you."

I note the past tense and my heart breaks one more time, I swear it does. James's features have shrunk back in his face and I don't think I've ever seen him so upset before.

He liked me and then I snogged his best friend. Of course he's upset. I did the stupidest thing a girl could do when the sweetest boy to exist on this earth liked me for the idiot I am. I want to take the deed back somehow, take a Time Turner and go back to a time before I had done this and James still liked me, but I'm stuck in the present, here, with everything all wrong.

James…in my head, I say, _James, blimey I like you too. I like you a lot. In a perfect world, you and I would be together. We would. But this isn't a perfect world and here, you have Lily Evans, whom you love far more than you love me. James, darling, you're way too good for me; don't take this so hard. Didn't you know we would never work out together?_

But James doesn't hear my head-voice. James only sees me here, in front of him, admitting to one of the stupidest things I've ever done, and the room is silent. Glancing back into my peripheral vision, Alice and Sadie are not looking this way, while Lily is actually looking at James with pity.

She feels sorry for him, sorry that I ruined him. James and I never started anything, but people considered us together in some strange way and now it's like we're over in some strange way. I was unfaithful. I cheated on him. I let him trust me without bothering to tell him anything important and then almost had sex with his best friend. Anyone would feel bad for him. I let him down as he was healing from wounds left by another girl who lets him down everyday. It gets to be too much to handle.

James has been silent a long time, digesting this. No one rushes him. I stand there, quaking slightly, and I want to step forward, touch his hand, try to find some earthly way of telling him how sorry I am that everything turned out this way when I'm not really a whore, but the moment I make a move, James wakes up with a vengeance. His hazel eyes are fiery.

"Alicia, this is unacceptable," he thunders, making everyone jump. "You made a terrible choice yesterday and although I appreciate you telling me about it, the fact of the matter doesn't change. Maybe I liked you, but sleeping (or almost sleeping) with a judge during this competition is a major offense. I thought that went without saying, but apparently not. You're out of control and that's wrong."

I avert my eyes to the floor. Looking right at him is hard when he's this angry. I don't know what I expected, but somehow, I had not expected this. What does that say about me?

"I…I'm sorry," I say almost inaudibly.

But he hears me and his tone takes on a painstaking note of grief. "I'm sorry too, Alicia," he says bitterly. "I've enjoyed having you here and playing along but like I said, this is unacceptable."

"I know," I say.

"That's why I'm going to have to ask you to leave this competition right now," he tells me gravely, "because I think your time here has just expired."

A bit of shock and something not-like-shock ripples in the faces of the Marauders and the girls – shock because the decision is so absolute, quick and deadly and not discussed, but not shocked because they all expected it. Deep down, I did too, even if it didn't register before, and it hits me like a Bludger to the gut – hard. But I swallow and take it, because it's probably nothing on how James feels right now.

"All right," I say with as much dignity as I can muster. "Again, I'm sorry, but thanks for giving me this opportunity. Really. I enjoyed myself here."

"We were glad to have you," says James. Again, I note the past tense, and the finality in his face is undisputable. In his mind, it's easy to deduce that everything he ever thought of me has been tainted by this final act, the final memory he'll have of me.

Maybe it's not altogether fair that he will judge me entirely by one bad day, but I know he will anyway and maybe he has the right to. I dunno. I've never been good with figuring out that sort of thing.

So, it is with a heavy but settled heart that I go to hug Sadie, Lily, and Alice. I hug Alice first, because I knew her least, and there is no bitterness in her hug. She'll miss me. I can tell. I hug Lily next and she hugs me properly, like a friend. At the beginning of this competition, we weren't close at all, but I think it's safe to bet now that I mean something to her. It's nice to think I'll leave here being able to say Lily Evans is a friend of mine.

I leave my last hug for Sadie and this one is the hardest. I knew Sadie's name and face before this competition, but by the end of my time here, she's become my closest friend in the world. I'm not usually friends with girls – they are too sentimental for me – but Sadie, Sadie is everything to me. I wish she knew how much she means to me, but I don't have the words. No one ever does.

When I let her go, I wave good-bye to the Marauders. I don't know if it's just me or not, but they look kind of sad to see me leave. I think they genuinely liked me and that skewed their judgment on me, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. Right now, it has been for the worse. But strangely, that's okay with me.

I know I'm upset at the prospect of going away when I had done so well, but I also know I've made my exit stabilized. I'm not a firework like I was at the start and I'm not a puddle of sop on the ground either. Before this competition, I wouldn't cry under torture. Now, I've cried three times in two days.

I've made progress. I'm different, but not in a bad way. I feel comfortable in the skin I'm in – not bone-tight or drowning-in-the-sea loose. That's probably the best feeling a girl can ever have.

I even manage to smile on my way out of the classroom, as I leave my place in the competition – as well as those Marauders – behind. Considering everything, I came out of this all right. I met a really great bunch of girls and got to know four very sweet boys that I know I will never be romantically linked with in my life. I close the door so that the sound of wood meeting frame is firm, resolute, final.

The competition is over, but I'm not. I did the right thing. I'll be fine.

Life is very, very good.

--

A/N: Whew! **Exciting**, don't you think? I **enjoy scandals **– both in fiction and real life – **so long as I'm not personally involved**, lol.

Trust me, this stuff was **important to establish** because **now, I have opportunity to build up the LJ **into the story's **resolution**. Trust me, you guys **will enjoy the next chapter**. I know I will enjoy writing it.

On an unrelated note, some of you have informed me last chapter that you found my **portrayal of Sirius to be dodgy**. My rationale for this is that **Sirius is a complicated guy **and this story is told from **the point of view of teenage girls**. **Don't take every word they say to heart**. It's **tough **to get, from a distance, what a truly good guy Sirius is because he's **young **and **jokey **and **sarcastic**. He's kind of **misunderstood** both by **the girls **and **the readers** – which is how I always figured people would see him as a kid. I **hope I gave that across **this chapter.

Otherwise, I am **not writing any more promos for the next chapters**. Plot is too **tight **for me to do that. Sorry!

So please go ahead and **review** (those are, **besides award nominations**, the **only payment a writer gets**) before you exit out of the browser!


	18. Failure to Communicate

A/N: Some of you **raised the alarm on James last chapter** and you **did have a good point**. But remember that the way people react **may not be entirely rational to start with**. **No one's perfect **and although what the characters do **may irk you **or **not make any sense**, try to **put yourself in their shoes **and read on. Hope that **helps**.

**More aftermath** **shall be dealt with** this chapter (it takes place **just after Alicia left the room**), as well as **more drama**, so hang tight. I had a **hard time writing this**, because I wanted it to be **right emotion-wise**. A **LOT of crucial LJ **awaits you here.

And **excuse any typos **I made. Editing is **not my favorite thing in the world** when it's my own work and **I miss things**.

**So glad **you guys are having fun with this though. Please keep **reviewing**!

Cheers.  
Xx

--

**Lily Evans**

--

Alicia's departure from the competition, I must admit, leaves us all quite downtrodden as she makes her way out of the classroom, leaving us here with the Marauders, James still breathing rather heavily as he avoids watching her go.

He looks awful. Really, really just awful. There's no earthly way to explain it with justice, but he looks ill. The Marauders are crestfallen and astonished. I don't blame them – I would be crestfallen and astonished too if someone I liked was sent away without my opinion in consideration. James joins the boys back at their table, sort of shaken, and we remain frozen where we are.

No one wants to say anything, break the silence. Alicia was the brightest of the lot and her absence is already making us feel uncomfortable.

Sirius is the first one to say anything. He asks James genuinely, confusedly, "Blimey, mate, I didn't know you liked her that much. Otherwise…I don't think anything would've happened at all."

James turns his head slowly to stare at his best friend. The look on his face is so raw that I feel like I'm trespassing on something intimate just by being here; and when I exchange glances with Alice, it's clear she feels the same.

"Well, _mate_, you shouldn't have snogged her," James replies fiercely. "I mean…it wasn't right. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I can honest-to-goodness tell you I don't know!" Sirius argues just as fiercely. "It…it happened! I can't do anything about that, can I?"

"She, at least, had the guts to tell me about it," shoots James. "If Alicia hadn't come clean, would you have sat me down and told me?"

"Yes, in private!" Sirius snaps impatiently. "But I didn't know you'd get so damn upset. Why are you so damn upset? Like I've already said, I had no idea you liked her so much."

"I…you shouldn't have snogged her," James says feebly, intensity not leaving his face either way. "It was wrong, it was stupid, and I just…I don't even know what to say to you anymore. You _nearly had sex with Alicia_, Sirius."

Sirius opens his mouth to retort, but I think I've heard enough here. The whole thing is so confusing, so strange, because I think Sirius was in the same mindset Alice and Sadie were in – he didn't want one stupid snog to affect her game-play. But that makes James feel even more betrayed, because they both conspired against him to keep this a secret. Alicia was the easiest to punish, so he did that first, and now he's left with the complicated question of how to deal with his best friend.

The way they're looking at each other is so unlike them. They've always been close, since they're both smart-arse bastards, and now, just like that, everything has changed. Even Remus and Peter are staying out of this one, backing away emotionally and letting James and Sirius battle it out together.

And now, as the argument rages on, I don't think I want to be here for it. I have experienced more than enough at the hands of these two.

Gently, I touch Alice and Sadie's hands and we dismiss ourselves from the room together, leaving James and Sirius battling things out. Remus and Peter wave good-bye, but they are more concerned with silently watching the other two and we close the door behind us. Once out in the corridor, it is dreadfully strange to be only three.

We don't say anything to each other until we get to the Room of Requirement.

However, when we do get there and are preparing for our gossip-laden debriefing of the evening's events, Sadie gets a surprise just before she's about to collapse on her bed. It's a piece of parchment hastily folded with Sadie's name scribbled on it. Instantly, Alice and I come around to look and Sadie opens it up. It's a letter from Alicia.

_Dear Sadie,_

_Well…needless to say, tonight didn't go so well._

_But don't worry. I kind of figured they wouldn't, so when I got to the Room to get my stuff, I already knew what I was going to say. And I can write damn fast, hence the chicken scratch._

_I wasn't lying when I told James I had really enjoyed this opportunity. Sadie, Lily and Alice, you girls are the most honest, spectacular, and beautiful people I have ever met. I genuinely hope we can be friends even after this is done and one of you wins, because I know I'll feel lost without you. Really._

_Sadie, the reason I leave you this letter is because of the nine girls I had the pleasure of bonding with over the course of the past few days, you have been my lifeline. When I got signed up to play this game, I never dreamed I'd make such a close friend, but I have and you mean the world to me. You truly do. I'll never forget how kind you were to the very end and how much you cared about me, even if my behavior was questionable. I wanted you to know that._

_I must cut this short now, but I felt it was important to leave you these last few thoughts before I bolt out of here and go back to my regular life. The very best of luck to all three of you. Even if you don't win, you definitely ought to know you're fantastic as hell._

_Love,  
Alicia_

"My goodness, Alicia!" Sadie wails at once, looking like she might cry as she sets the letter down. "I can't believe she ratted herself out! I miss her already."

"It was brave of her," agrees Alice, looking wistfully at the letter in Sadie's hand. "At the beginning of the whole thing, I could've sworn she would win it all."

"I know," I say. "But she had a good run while she was here and she ended it by doing the right thing, which I'm glad for. I'm not happy that she had to go – of course I'm not – but she did what she had to do. You can't ask for any more than that."

"I feel bloody awful for James too," says Sadie with a sigh, gingerly folding up the letter and tucking it away into her bag. "Merlin. I wanted to crumble into a million pieces when he told her he used to like her. I mean, we could all tell he kind of did…except Sirius and Alicia, it seems."

"Alicia is the kind of girl who has plenty of friends, but not a _best_ friend," says Alice. "Sadie, you were probably the closest thing she ever had to a best friend. She's simply not compatible with the challenge of a long-term relationship and James should've been able to tell. She's appealing to be around, but she's still got her own issues, as evidenced by the thing with Sirius."

"James probably didn't even realize how much he liked her until he found out about her and Sirius," I muse aloud. "I mean…he freaked out when she made her announcement. He's always been so comfortable and happy around her that he felt like they _were _something, even if they weren't. It hit him hard to realize the truth of the matter."

"Whenever the conversation turned to James, Alicia was very casual about him," says Sadie. "She didn't consider them an item either."

This makes sense to me. If I'm perfectly honest, I instinctively know that the two of them wouldn't have worked out together. Alicia would amuse him at first, but James needs someone more solid; and Alicia, bless her, is one of those girls who could float off to the clouds with only a two-second warning. And where would he be if she went away?

"Poor James," sighs Alice, collapsing backwards on her bed so that her head is resting properly on her pillow. "He hasn't really been able to get a good girl on his side for the past few weeks now. That has to be rough."

"He'll survive," I dismiss. "I've been without a boyfriend for a year and a half now and I'm perfectly fine."

"No you're not," Alice says with a snort. "You're hopelessly in love with James and you're putting the unfortunate bloke through hell because you can't seem to admit it."

"Yeah…speaking of which, what happened with you two during the dancing challenge?" Sadie must know before I can answer Alice. "You never told me."

"It was nothing _really_," I say with a blush as Alice chuckles. "I mean…we danced. That's it."

"Lily," Sadie says disapprovingly. "I know something happened. What was it?"

"Oh, it was so stupid," I dismiss, my cheeks going flaming red. "You don't need to know."

"But Alice knows!" Sadie protests.

Yes, yes, Alice does know, because Alice is an overly-inquisitive prat. I _told _her it wasn't anything big, but she _insisted_ and nearly poked my eye out somehow in her caveman-esque haste to shake me violently for the explanation. She is normally such a level-headed person, but when it comes to James Potter and me, I am at a loss to know what comes over her.

But Sadie is still staring expectantly at me (now being supported by Alice and her irresistible brown eyes) and I suppose I have no choice but to tell her. Damn it. The reason I am apprehensive about telling this story in detail (Alice got a _very _watered-down version and knew it) is because while I know fully well it doesn't mean anything, these two romance-hogs are going to insist that it is a sign of our undying love for each other or some rubbish like that.

Still, I suppose I have to give it a shot _some_ time. Sighing, I settle myself in comfortably on my mattress before I speak.

"Well, I mean, we started off with each other as dance partners and it was supremely awkward," I begin. "You obnoxious arses took every other guy in the group and I _had _to go with James. I'm sure you planned it that way."

"Somewhat," Sadie confesses unabashedly, grinning. "What next?"

"Why does this excite _you _so much, Sadie?" I ask, desperately grasping for straws here. "I can expect Alice's morbid enthusiasms since it's been on display for years, but you are an astonishment to me."

Sadie goes faintly pink. "It's just…it's so romantic," she says, giving me a small, shy little smile. "Watching you and James is so…adorable. It's such a classic love story, where the girl hates the guy that loves her, and…I dunno. It's hard to explain. You're simply extraordinary together."

I glower at her. Unfortunately, this is a very typical reaction among teenagers I co-exist with on a day-to-day basis. They all find this whole miserable state of affairs to be "adorable." Little do they know that "adorable" is farther from the truth than the planet Neptune.

"If you say so," I finally tell Sadie with a roll of my eyes. "Anyway, so we were dancing, and James told me I was a good dancer."

"That's good," encourages Sadie.

"Watch it not be," says Alice with a smirk.

"I told him thanks," I say, shooting Alice a Look. "We were quiet for a while, and then he stepped on my foot by mistake. I said ouch and shook him off, but he apologized and we were quiet again. It was extremely awkward."

"So why did he look so odd when we walked out of the challenge?" asks Alice.

"Because this was all during the fast song, which was first," I clarify. "When the slow song started, we both stared helplessly at each other because you lot were all ballroom dancing and we were kind of expected to do the same."

"And how did that work out for you?" Sadie wants to know. She's grinning a little too wickedly for comfort.

"Well, he went considerably pink, which was alienating in itself," I explain. "Then his hand sort of meandered down to mine and tried to take it. I let him, but that meant that I now had to put my hand on his shoulder and let him hold my waist…which I was slightly apprehensive about. It was quite a dilemma."

"I'm guessing you told him not to," guesses Alice.

"Actually, you're wrong," I contradict her, amused by the delighted disbelief on her face. "We got into position and he held me very carefully, like I was going to shout at him if he got too close."

"Damn right," says Alice. "You'd hex him into next week of he tried anything with you."

I roll my eyes. True, I would be pissed if he tried anything, but Alice turns the whole thing into such a mockery sometimes. But I have every _right _to be pissed at something like that – I am a young lady and he is a half-tolerable ignoramus. The ignoramus ought not to be touching the lady. Jokes on the matter are fine in small doses, but really, we need to keep our eyes on the main issue here.

"Do you want to know what happened or not, Alice?" I inquire extremely politely.

"Of course I want to know what happened next," she replies, quickly adopting my tone. "What did you do?"

"Well, I mean, we didn't say anything and we really didn't look at each other either," I say. "I kept my eyes over his shoulder and he did the same for me. It was safer that way. But as the seconds passed, we were so awkward one of us had to talk and it was James. He asked me if I liked the song."

"That's good – a very safe question," approves Sadie.

"I told him it was all right, but the lyrics are a tad on the cheesy side," I say. "He said he expected as much from me, to which I playfully stepped on his foot."

"Aww, you were flirting!" says Alice, grinning.

"It's called breaking the ice, Alice, get over yourself," I dismiss. "And we did break the ice. It was easier after that. He relaxed and held my waist normally – not touchy or anything, but also not tense. He just held me. We danced in silence for a bit and then he very cautiously pulled me in a little bit.

"I let him, because it wasn't a big deal or anything," I continue. "He was a pretty good dancer with a rudimentary sense of rhythm, which I respect, and we were slow dancing. But because I seemed to be okay, he started holding my hand a little tighter, taking more control of the dance, and then he looked me square in the eye. Unwaveringly.

"By this point, I was sort of freaked," I say, remembering. "But I held his gaze, even when I was squirming and my brain was pleading with my eyes to please look away. The song mercifully ended after that and he said thanks. And I…I couldn't say anything. I tried to – my mouth opened, ready to say something – but then I didn't and I walked off. I just…couldn't handle him. Not even for one stupid little dance."

I let my voice trail off, more ashamed than I thought I would be when I got myself to reveal this tale. Alice and Sadie exchange glances, almost like going over battle strategies without words, and then they face back towards me, mildly troubled.

I suddenly feel like I'm about to go on trial and my lawyers are attempting to piece together what my real story is so that they can warp into whatever they perceive should happen.

"Lily…" Alice says my name, but that's about all she can say. She looks woefully distraught, actually. "Just…wow," she goes on. "You ran away. He came close to you and you ran away. Why did you do that?"

"I don't bloody know," I fire back, all shame instantly forgotten. "It…felt right to run away. And so I did. Besides, I wasn't going to tell you about it, but you forced me to. That's what you get for pressing me."

"Lily, we're trying to help you," says Sadie earnestly, slightly taken aback by my reaction (I'd bet my bank account she's never met anyone who acts like me around James Potter). "This can't possibly be easy for you and it's nice to have people to talk to when you're conflicted. I'm so glad you confided in us."

"Alice, why the hell can't you be more like Sadie?" I demand. "You take everything I tell you for granted!"

"Don't change the subject," Alice says evenly. "I'm extremely grateful for the insight I get into your personal life, darling, and I thought you already knew that. So it's besides the point."

Well, she knows it isn't, but she's about to make a speech now – I can tell – and I figure I ought to let her get her word in before I trump her like I know I will. I settle in and get comfortable, and sure enough, Alice launches into her latest James Potter sermon.

"Lily Evans, you are in complete and utter denial," she proclaims. "There is no other explanation for your strange-ass behavior. Honestly, you couldn't handle _dancing _with him! This is a sure sign that he is getting to you and you are not enjoying the lack of control you are probably experiencing."

"Have you ever considered I couldn't handle it because he was so abhorrent?" I suggest.

"No, because I know it's not that at all," says Alice. "You _care_, Lily. That's the only abhorrent thing to you out of all the things that have gone on in this competition. You _care_. You want this, I can tell – you want that date and I bet you everything that you want to take James."

I hate it when she starts asking me about wanting this competition. I know it's a valid question to ask, seeing as we are the last three left here; but at the same time, I don't want to hear it.

There are times when I think that maybe, just maybe, I could win this whole damn thing and take out Remus, most likely. It would be nice to excel at something that doesn't involve academics or hexing the pants off of someone and it would be kind of nice to be considered beautiful rather than mildly formidable for a change.

But there are other times when I think that I don't belong here and I'm only here because of Marauder favoritism, no matter how slight or overt. There were some girls that truly wanted this and I took the opportunity from them. I feel bad about that. I want to leave because starting out, I was the one who kicked an enormous fuss; and yet here I am, still standing.

I'm conflicted. I really am. It's difficult to figure out how I really feel when two opposing forces in my brain – my North Pole fantasies and my South Pole realities – clashing and colliding in a way that doesn't leave a distinctive answer behind.

I like distinctive answers. That's why I do well in school. If given a problem, I can mold a solution out of it.

But if the problem involves something as murky as emotions – and _mine_, at that – then I simply shut down. That is what I'm doing right now, much to Alice's displeasure.

"Alice, you have no idea what I want and what I don't," I say. "Don't assume things that you don't understand."

"You're right, I don't understand this," says Alice, "but that's because you won't bloody _tell me_. I wanted this from the beginning, Lils, and I need to know if you want it too."

"We both want it," Sadie chimes in, gesturing to herself and Alice. "It wouldn't be fair if you won and you didn't want the prize."

I chew on my lip. They have a valid point and they're awaiting for my response. As ever. So I sigh heavily and in a near whisper, I say, "I think I want it."

Alice and Sadie decide to accept this answer, but they don't say any more on the subject. Alice claims to need sleep and Sadie has to work on her Defense against the Dark Arts essay. I've already done both of these things, so I curl up on my mattress in fetal position, facing the window and the light coming in, my mind wandering.

A lot of things I will never understand have been happening over the past few days. To be frank, I'm a little sick of it.

Regardless of the end result, I just want this whole competition to be over already. I'm getting quite damn sick of it.

**&**

The next afternoon, the reality of being the final three hits me yet again when I find only Sadie waiting for me by the Room of Requirement. Alice had to run to the restroom for a moment, so I let her go and came by myself. She'll be back in a couple of minutes. Sadie smiles at me as I take my place next to her, leaning against the wall.

"Good afternoon, Lily," says Sadie cheerfully. "Ready for today's challenge?"

"Hi, Sadie. Yeah, I suppose I'm ready," I say. "Do I really have a choice?"

She chuckles. "Maybe. I think it'll be fun."

"You don't even know what it is yet," I point out.

"But I will in a few minutes – and knowing the Marauders, it's sure to be something quirky and interesting," she informs me. "I hope it's a group thing. We're such a small group now. There are less of us than there are Marauders!"

"That's true," I realize.

"Hey, where's Alice?" asks Sadie.

"She's coming," I say. "She had to stop at the bathroom."

"Oh, I see." Sadie grins and looks around thoroughly before saying, "How much do you want to bet that the Marauders aren't going to be here in the next five minutes?"

"Five Sickles, because you're probably right," I say, grinning back. "But why not? A healthy bet is always nice. Five Sickles, then?"

"Sounds good," says Sadie amiably. We shake on it and Sadie consults her watch to begin timing the Marauders. They have exactly five minutes now to get here, otherwise Sadie gets my money. I mentally prepare myself to swear I'll pay her back after today's challenge.

However, both of us get the surprise of our lives when, after only a couple of minutes, the Marauders (subtracting Remus) come bumbling towards us.

I blink a couple of times, taking this in. Sadie, too, is thunderstruck.

"Merlin, they're here before Alice!" she exclaims. "I guess I owe you five Sickles then, Lily."

"What's this I hear? Sadie owes Lily five Sickles? What is this wickedness?" Sirius must know as they approach, his expression jokingly astonished.

"Well, we were betting on whether or not you would have come in the space of five minutes," Sadie explains. "I bet you wouldn't, Lily bet you would for the sake of conflict. She ended up with the money."

"I'm rather offended, if I may say so," James remarks. He is certainly in a better mood after yesterday. "Betting on our punctuality? Frightful, that is."

"It's not frightful – you're always bloody late," I point out. "We're always here before you."

"Well, we usually have a good reason for it," says James with a pout. "Like, sometimes it's because we're trying to set up your latest brilliant challenge."

"Or we're trying unsuccessfully to convince Remus to attend, like we were today," says Peter. "He insists he must do his homework and get a break from us."

"He threatened castration," adds Sirius. "You know he's set on something when he threatens to get near our genitals with giant scissors."

"Lovely," I remark with a groan.

"Indeed it is, Lily-kins," Sirius says serenely. "That's why we scampered the hell away and come to you divine young ladies. You won't get near our genitals with giant scissors, right?"

"You never know, Sirius." Sadie's grin is quite mischievous and it makes me want to groan and smile at the same time. I settle for groaning as the rest of the group chooses the latter option.

"I love this girl," Sirius announces, deciding to throw his arms out and give Sadie a hug, to which she giggles and obliges. "This is my favorite girl."

James and Peter snigger together as Sirius snuggles Sadie for a couple of seconds and then lets go, beaming at her. It is at this precise moment that Alice decides to turn the corner and arrive.

"Erm…hey, you lot," says Alice. "How are you? Where's Remus?"

"We're fine," I say.

"Remus is doing his homework with a pair of giant scissors at hand," Sadie reports.

Alice's eyes narrow slightly with confusion, but she figures this is probably something she shouldn't inquire too far into.

"So…what's the challenge? Do we have to go yet?" she asks.

"Well, we were just about to explain the challenge, so you haven't missed much," says Peter. "But now that you're here, you girls will notice that there are six people here today. Three girls and three boys."

"Aww, well done, Wormy, you learned to count," Sirius says lovingly, squeezing his friend's shoulders.

"So, because of this," Peter continues, throwing Sirius a small glance backwards but otherwise ignoring him, "we have decided that we want to get another chance to talk to you properly. We are going to be doing another interview sort of thing – which, you recall, we did very early on in the competition as well."

"Only this time, we'll be having a regular conversation instead of question-answer type of format," says James. "We have gotten to know you rather well over the past few days, but we fear you don't know us as well as you want to. The only way to correct this is to give you a chance to express yourself naturally instead of being forced into something we've come up with."

"I mean, we could _never_ know _too_ much about each other," says Sirius with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. "There's always something _new _to learn and you all know how much _I _love to _learn_."

Alice, Sadie and I groan as the double meaning dawns on us. James smirks and Peter is the one to pat Sirius's shoulder. "Of course you do, Pads," he says.

With a quick mutual glance at each other, I can tell that between us girls, it does not go unnoticed that Sirius and James are barely interacting with each other today. Peter is their staple, the one thing keeping them close enough to normal; and with Remus not here to assist, he's got a damn hard job. I must say, though, he's doing quite a good job keeping the conversation flowing and not-awkward.

"Right then!" Sirius says, clapping his hands together. "We know what we're going to do, so let's get on to our unused classroom of the day to get it done, shall we?"

"Sounds good," says Peter easily. "C'mon, ladies." He gestures for us to follow him and we do, Alice, Sadie and I in a line together, watching the line of boys in front of us. We must look like some sort of relaxed little army, with our two rows and quiet walking. I note that Peter has to stand between James and Sirius because they linger like too similar ends of a magnet, preferring not to go into each other's orbits.

When we get to the classroom we're going to be using, there are three desks set up with an additional chair in front of each desk. James closes the door behind him, since he is the last one, and he says, "Right…so this is going to be a one-on-one thing today, we've decided, and we're not going to have a time limit. All we're going to do is talk."

"Since you're the final three and we're going to be choosing between one of you within only a couple of days," says Peter. "Elimination will be hard tomorrow, so keep in mind when we're doing this that we need you to be extraordinary. Don't overdo it, but certainly don't under-do it, you know what I mean?"

"Got it," says Sadie. The look on her face is unmistakable; it is clear that she is impatient to get started and kick arse.

However, I'm still slightly confused by what Peter was saying – how do you act extraordinary when you're supposed to be yourself in a conversation with these boys? Aren't we regular people that are playing for a date with another regular person? Why are they letting so much pressure ride on something they claim to be so natural?

This so-called logic really isn't making any sense to me, but I sigh and keep my mouth shut. Peter's pep-talk is rubbish. I'm going to ignore it, mostly because while his interpretation is screwy, the idea of a real conversation is not. It's probably the smartest thing they could've done challenge-wise, because sitting down and talking to someone one-on-one is the best way to get to know them. I admire that they are willing to go through with such a commitment.

"Okay," says James, taking charge of the situation again. "Are we clear on this, then?"

Alice, Sadie, and I nod. We are ready for this.

"Good," says James. "Now pick a Marauder and let's get going."

The words are barely out of his mouth before Alice has lunged for Peter and Sadie has lunged for Sirius. I have a nasty feeling they planned this, because before I can take a full breath, James and I are the only ones standing there, looking at our friends whisking or being whisked away. We have no choice but to go together.

"Erm…Lily, want to be my partner?" he asks me lamely, his eyes apologetic.

"Well, it's a tough decision, but I suppose you'll do," I say equally lamely, also somewhat apologetic. James smirks at me.

"Great," he says. "C'mon."

He leads me to the empty desk that is meant for us. There is noticeable distance between us as we walk, which means that he, like me, has the dancing incident quite fresh on his mind. Intimacy is not something we can currently indulge in and, when I really think on it, that's probably a good thing.

We get to the desk and he's about to sit down in it, but then he pops back up and says, "There you go, Lily."

I go bright pink. I hate it when he tries to be all chivalrous with me. "No, no, go ahead," I say. "You can sit there. I'm fine in the chair." To prove my point, I plant my bum down on the chair and stare up at him, waiting for him to sit down.

Unfortunately, he doesn't.

"No, honest, the last time we did this, I sat in the desk," he says. "You sit there this time."

"No one's keeping score, James, just sit down," I say somewhat curtly.

"Take the desk, Lily," he says.

"No, I don't want to," I say. "I want the chair."

"Take the desk. For me?"

This kid is unbelievable. He really is. I say, "Well, I'm already sitting here. I am comfortable. I have bonded with the chair and it doesn't want to let me go."

"Un-bond with it, then." James is damn persistent today. He is dead serious – he is standing there and waiting for me to take the desk.

But I don't want to do that. That desk is the more comfortable seat here and he was about to take it. The only reason he didn't was because he wanted to impress me or act courtly or some rubbish like that; and I'm not interested in his condescension.

"James Potter, I'm not going to sit there and you bloody well know it, so you can either take the seat or sit on the floor," I say.

He raises an eyebrow at me. Unperturbed, I raise my eyebrow back at him. We stare resolutely at each other, two extremely stubborn people with two firm agendas in mind, until at last, he gives it up and sits in the desk. I drop the poker-face and relax, knowing the victory has been mine.

This conversation can now properly begin.

The sound of chatter is already filling in the atmosphere around us. Alice and Peter are having an animated discussion in which both of them are actively engaged, while Sirius is doing some sort of impersonation that has Sadie in peals of laughter. I think I'm supposed to start this off, since it's my challenge and everything, so I take a breath.

"So…how are you, James?" I ask.

"I'm fine," he answers. "How are you, Lily?"

"I'm fine too, thank you," I say. "I'm just kind of annoyed, that's all."

"And why is that?" He raises his eyebrow at me. Now that he's not doing it to psychologically bully me into doing what he wants, it's actually kind of cute when he does that. But only kind of.

"Oh, I dunno, it's a combination of things, really," I clarify. "Mostly, it's this guy. He's driving me up the wall, you know."

"That's no good," he says sympathetically. "What has this terrible guy done to you?"

"He doesn't listen to me," I say. "He's so annoying. He argues with me about the stupidest things. I wish he wouldn't."

"Is this guy good-looking?" James inquires politely.

I consider this one. "Moderately. But his hair looks like it's endured a wind-storm."

"Really?"

"Yes, and he keeps screwing it up even more because he thinks it's attractive," I say.

"What a madman," James remarks, stretching his arms and rumpling his hair. "He must be a pain in the arse."

"He can be," I say, smiling slightly.

"What are you going to do about this guy?" asks James very seriously. "I mean, you can't _take _his bullshit lying down."

"Of course not," I say. "But I figure that it's not entirely his fault – he most likely has some sort of chronic Annoying Prat Disorder, considering some of the things he does – so I'll let him off the hook unless he _really _riles me up."

"Ah," says James. "How very kind of you. I'm sure that bloke – whoever he is – is grateful for your generosity."

"He'd better."

We both smile rather shyly at this and go quiet. Now we've had our little introductory banter and it was cute, but we don't know where to go from here. Usually, we don't even get to the cute introductory banter bit, because we're so busy with what we did first – argue about something insignificant.

I suppose this is progress of some sort; but at the same time, it's so damn strange that I want to go five steps back and return to what I know. I feel the uncomfortable heat all over my body and I know I'm probably blushing like hell, so I figure it's time to move the conversation along.

"Erm…so, this competition," I say. "We're pretty far in. How do you feel about that?"

Okay, so it's not the most intellectually-stimulating question I could've thought to ask him, but it's a start. Considering everything, I think it's a good, solid question. Very safe, very easy. James ponders it anyway for a few seconds.

"I feel pretty good about it, to be honest," he says. "I didn't think we'd get this far. I didn't think it would go the way it did."

"How did you think it would go?" I prompt. I think I'm getting the hang of these safe, easy questions.

"Hmmm…" This time, James has to think for more than a few seconds before he sighs and says, "To be honest, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't what I got."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" I ask.

"A bit of both," he admits. "It's bad because we intended for it to be mindless fun and it turned out to be extremely stressful. But it's good because we got to know you girls really, really well. We Marauders have had a blast with all of you. We didn't anticipate liking you lot so much, I don't think."

"You thought we were going to be your sex toys?"

"Not exactly," says James. "It's hard to explain, but I know that we certainly didn't expect to bond the way we did. You ought to see the fights we've had sometimes during the deliberations…"

"Really?"

"Yeah," he says. "Sirius would be rooting for a girl and we'd shoot him down, to which he would attempt cajoling Remus or Peter into agreeing with him. Other times, Remus would be stubbornly insistent on another girl's fate and we'd do our best to change his mind and he wouldn't. Other times, everyone wanted something different and we shouted at each other until we reached some sort of a consensus. We were often sending our praise to the barmy bastard who invented the sound-proofing charm, because we definitely had our favorites and we weren't afraid to display that."

"I've been dying to know this for a while," I say, "but it's slightly personal. Do you mind?"

"We'll see when you ask the question," responds James.

"Okay," I say. "Well…you say each of you had favorites. Who were yours, and was Alicia one of them?"

James sighs in a concentrated exhale, frowning slightly, a bit uneasy about this. Quite frankly, I find that hypocritical, because he's always asking me personal questions and insisting that he must know the answer to them, but I don't say anything about it. I only want his answer, not an argument about hypocrisy, which is what I'm sure will develop if I make my remark.

"We didn't always have steady favorites at the start," says James slowly, "because those developed as the competition went on. It was largely on a challenge-by-challenge basis and what each game revealed about you."

"So who were you rooting for?"

"Usually you or Alicia," James finally says, his tone surprisingly candid. "I thought you two would land up at the top. I honestly did."

"Who's been keeping my wonderful Alice in the competition?" I ask. "I must give them a hug. Or maybe eight."

"Remus," says James. "He insists that she's someone we unfairly overlook and that she ought to make it to the next challenge. Alice has been a hot topic of debate between us for a couple of days, actually, now that I think on it."

"She inspires controversy – isn't that a trait you boys fancy in a girl?" I muse aloud.

James grins. "Sometimes. It depends on what kind of controversy it is."

"Is that what you liked about Alicia?" I suddenly wonder.

At the mention of his feelings for Alicia, he instantly closes up a little, his eyes guarded. But because this is supposed to be a very open and honest conversation, he has no choice but to elaborate on this subject.

"No, that isn't what I liked about Alicia," he says. "I liked Alicia because she was…pure. She was funny as hell and made me laugh. She normally didn't indulge in bullshit. She was easy to be around – it wasn't uncomfortable to talk to her about anything. Even if she was blowing raspberries a few minutes ago, she could still break down a little and talk about serious things. She was just…she was amazing. I was hoping she'd win."

If I'm sincere with myself, I'm astonished that I'm having this kind of a discussion with James. I can't put my finger on exactly why I'm so astonished – or ill at ease – but I guess it's because I've never heard James rave about some other girl to me before. When I'm with him, it's always been about me and how much he loved me.

Even if I never liked that, never wanted that, it was what I knew. I don't know this; and frankly, I don't think I want to.

"Is that why you freaked out so much when you found out she almost shagged Sirius?" I ask, trying to be gentle.

"Sort of." James shifts, reluctant, and swallows copiously before he goes on, "Look, I know we weren't in a relationship or anything, and all of you (Sirius included) weren't sure why I chucked her yesterday, but I don't fully understand it either! I felt what I felt and I did what I did and I'm not sorry."

"Do you still like her that way?" I ask. "Would you still go out with her if the winner of this competition doesn't pick you?"

"Maybe…" His tone is vague, colorless, like water when the cloud cover comes in before the rain. He trails off and starts to look at me suspiciously, as though he's only just realized with a jolt what he's talking about and who he's talking about it with.

"If you don't mind my asking, Lily, why are you so curious about all this?" he wants to know. "I didn't know my emotions were of such particular interest to you."

Uh oh. Here comes the I-accidentally-revealed-too-much-and-am-now-trying-to-backtrack-and-make-it-seem-like-nothing-ever-happened James. His appearances are fewer and farther between, but when they come, they annoy the shit out of me.

If you've revealed something, do the sensible thing and either flee or run with the reaction of the other person. Don't bloody question _them_. But since I've asked so many personal questions, I decide I'll throw him a bone and linger on this topic for a bit.

"I'm curious because it's interesting," I say. "That's generally what people feel when something new arises right under their nose, don't you think? And forgive me for saying it, but I knew Alicia far better than you did; and since I already know her perspective, I wanted to know what yours was to see if they matched up."

"So it's for purely analytical purposes?" asks James.

"Yes," I say. "It is."

"And what are you planning on using this new information for, I wonder?"

"It's for my own personal interest," I say. "Merlin, James, haven't you ever wanted to know something for the sake of knowing something?"

"Yes, but I was never as overt about it as you are," he says.

"Don't talk rot, of course you are," I dismiss. "I mean, what was that whole walk in the park for, if you weren't being overt about your morbid curiosities?"

"I actually needed that information to help me judge my competition, thank you," he says more sharply, probably, than he intended.

"Well, either way, it was information you had to pump out of me pretty overtly," I say.

"But at least I could give you a good reason why I cared," he says. "Why do you care now, how I feel about Alicia? Are you her private secretary or something?"

"Curiosity isn't a sin," I argue.

"No, but withholding motives – which is the same as lying – definitely is," he says.

"I'm not lying to you," I inform him indignantly. "All I'm saying is that I was curious about how your feelings for Alicia and so I asked you about them. I'm not ashamed of that. Why are you so defensive all of a sudden?"

"Because I don't take kindly to your probing me for something so personal just because you're _curious_," says James, heated but steady. "It's unfair of you to play me the way you are. You never wanted anything to do with me anyway."

"I'm not playing you! Not everyone has a hidden agenda behind what they do!" I insist. "And no, I didn't want anything to do with you; but now I have to, because you made me join this ridiculous competition!"

"You could've left," he shoots right back at me. "You could've thrown in the towel, called us horny imbeciles and stormed right out of the whole damn competition, avoiding this whole mess. But you didn't. You came back, you decided to try, and you _made _yourself have something to do with me!"

"So what's your point, that I like you or something?"

I can feel my blood getting hotter in my veins, my muscles tensing like they're about to go into battle. Nothing has happened yet, but things are escalating. I know this feeling. I know where this is going.

But right now, when he's accusing me and deriding me and making me out to be something I'm not, I couldn't care less where we're going.

"My point is that you have brought yourself up to this point and I am not letting you in any further because I don't want you in my personal affairs," he says. "My relationship with Alicia is none of your business. Who I date when this is over isn't any of your business either."

"Oh, so when we start dealing with _your _personal affairs, I'm supposed to run away and forget anything ever happened?" I inquire angrily. "That's rich of you, James, that's really rich. What about all the times you get into _my _personal affairs? The times you interrupted my dates, when you asked me strange questions about my sex life, when you persistently attempted to get to the bottom of my feelings for this competition? You hold the biggest damn double standard I've ever seen!"

"I did that because you wouldn't even let me have a rational conversation with you for five minutes," James snaps. "When someone is as stubborn as you, desperate measures are called for."

"What, because you _cared _so much about me?" I ask scathingly.

"As a matter of fact, _yes_, because I cared so much about you!" he all but explodes. I can tell that the other two conversations around us are drifting towards us again. "I've always been the one caring while you exercised every execution of apathy you could think of! I did what I had to do because that was the only way to get anything done. I gave up, though, because I knew it was no good. Now I want to know why you're doing the same to me."

"This has nothing to do with how I feel about you, if that's what you're trying so boorishly to imply," I retort.

"Oh, so I'm supposed to believe that you're asking me all this for Alicia's sake, not mine?"

He's so _angry_ right now. Even if I am too, I can't help but note his anger particularly right now. His face is vibrant with the indignation; his body is quivering with the intensity of his emotions; everything about him is so _alive._

This is what I do to him. I make him angry, but I rouse him. I've never seen him as full of color as he is now.

"You're not supposed to believe anything of that nature," I explain. "You are supposed to believe that it's plain old curiosity. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Yeah? Well, in that case, why don't I tell you what I'm going to do after this competition is over, shall I?"

"Oh, yes, do tell," I say cattily, sarcastically, my eyes narrowing. "You know how I _hang_ on your every word."

"When we've picked our winner, I'm going to leave the judging classroom," he says, his voice quiet but barbed. "I'm going to march down the corridors and I'm going to go to the Gryffindor common room. I'm going to find Alicia and I'm going to snog her; and then I'm going to bang her for the rest of the evening, right there in the middle of the common room. Does that satisfy your _plain old curiosity_?"

I have no idea why and I have no idea how, but the idea of James Potter shagging Alicia the way Alice said Alicia was almost-shagging Sirius – full on, against the wall, clothes ripped off, the whole shebang – makes my blood boil.

I am enraged. No, no, I am _furious_. I feel a mountain of emotion well up against me like water against a dam, shaking; and then before I can do a thing, the dam bursts and the water floods like everything else. Automatically, I find myself standing up and James is too, both of us facing each other with anger that can only rival our emotions from fourth year.

"You are _horrible_!" I find myself shouting. "You are a right fucking prick, you know that?"

"Actually, I do, because you tell me that almost every bloody day!" he shouts right back.

"You are insufferable – you and everything about you and this fucking game," I holler.

Viciously, I long to lunge at him, claw his eyes out, just touch him and watch him hurt in front of me. It's a primal desire that I would never, ever want under normal circumstances; but this boy, he is not a normal circumstance. He makes me _feel _like no one else I know.

"Like you aren't?" he hollers in response. "I don't know why I fought so hard for you to get this far. I don't even know why I fucking liked you for so long."

"Clearly, you have a rubbish taste in girls!" I say.

"You can be sure I'm not going to waste my time after this is over," he shoots at me, cold anger beginning to mix into his inferno. "Whatever we were, we aren't like that anymore."

"We weren't _anything_," I correct him nastily. "You were always that idiotic, idealistic bastard that chased after a girl who had no interest whatsoever in him. I told you, over and over, that we weren't right and you could never understand me."

"Yeah? Well, I suppose that you've got your wish at long last," he says. "I get it."

"Good." I practically spit this word at him, glaring at him, my insides raw like they've been cooked almost all the way through.

He gives me this weird little nod of his head and holds my gaze for a few seconds. It hurts, looking at him, but I force myself to, because this is what I did to him and I dare him to see what he does to me. I'm not sure he does.

But before I can determine this properly, he turns and he walks away. No more words, no more caring, no more arguing. He just walks away. He does what neither of us has ever been brave enough to do in all our years of fighting together.

I feel woozy, like I've been hit with a two-ton bat all over my body. I have a slight headache, too. But right out of the blue, I become acutely aware that it is pin-drop silent in this room – all other conversation has ceased.

I look around and see that Sirius, Sadie, Alice, and Peter are all silent and staring at me. Various emotions play across all their faces – Sirius pissed, Sadie worried, Alice distraught, Peter frightened – and I can't bear their scrutiny. My insides have been cooked all the way through after all, this is the final straw, and there's nothing left for me here.

My throat thick, I fight the tears back from my eyes and I do the hardest thing – I face the silence and admit defeat to everyone left here, including myself.

I, too, forget about this stupid competition, where I am, how I feel, what I'm supposed to do; and I finally just walk away.

--

A/N: **Yikes**! That was **not good **for our golden couple. But **maybe it was**, in a weird sort of way. You **never know**, really, so I'll **leave the interpretation up to you lot**.

Again, **no promo **for the next chapter. Sorry. But there is an **elimination**, so be prepared. And remember: **this story shall not end quietly so long as I am the author**.

But, as for your **hopefully intense reactions **to this new development, please **make good use of them **and **leave a review**.

**Thanks**, darlings!  
Xx


	19. And Then There Were 2

A/N: Oh my gosh, guys. Chapter **19 **is already here. Only **three more chapters left **before the end! I never, ever thought I'd get this far – it's really **all thanks to you **because **your support willed me on **to finish this wild&crazy tale. **Thank you** for being so wonderful.

There is **not much major drama **left (besides **the finale**, of course) so this is sort of a **chill chapter **until the **elimination**. It's more **intimate** and I think (i.e. _hope_) you'll like it.

Enjoy.  
Xx

--

**Sadie Clark**

--

After the showdown at the end of tonight's challenge, I couldn't get out of the classroom fast enough. Honestly, I couldn't. It was the most uncomfortable place in the world once Lily and James fled the scene, angry and hurting. No one really knew what to say. Sirius decided that this would be a good time to round off the end of the challenge and he dismissed us. Peter was swift to agree; and so we left.

The look on Sirius's face when he saw Lily and James squaring it off in the middle of the room was painful. He was awfully livid as he watched his best friend shouting at the girl he adored, probably because he's seen this sight too many times before to take it lightly.

I could tell, on my way out, that whatever happened between them over Alicia, Sirius was going to sit down with his best friend and figure out how to make things better. That's what friends did, after all – in good times and bad.

And that's what Alice and I were going to do for Lily, too. Alice was quite upset by the evening's proceedings and fully intended to try healing Lily's wounds, if she couldn't heal James's.

Once we're out of the classroom, we return to the Room of Requirement. Lily isn't there.

"Where is she?" I ask Alice. Since we are only three, and two of us are here, I can actually say that and Alice knows who I'm talking about.

"Whenever she's upset about something, she snags pineapple from the kitchens and eats them by the pound on top of the Astronomy Tower," she explains. "Can you get things set up in here? I'll go get her."

"Sure thing," I say.

Alice and I have decided that tonight would be a very good night for a little female pow-wow, on the eve of the second-to-last elimination in the competition. I used to do such pow-wows with my friends all the time in the summers, getting together at someone's house and sitting in the backyard with a fire, sharing secrets. It's relaxed, casual, deeply intimate – it's exactly what we need right now.

So while Alice goes to fetch Lily, I get the Room to provide me with plenty of candles that I put around the room and into a circle right in the middle, where I light a small, controlled fire. I even find some scent that I spray in the air – a soothing blend of lavender and vanilla. I set our pillows down around my meager fire so that we have a place to sit – and I throw in our blankets too, because for some reason, there's something very comforting about having blankets in the vicinity. I'm not entirely sure what it is.

By the time I have settled into my little nest, Alice and Lily arrive. Lily's eyes are suspiciously red-rimmed, while her nose is suspiciously pink – I think she has been crying.

"Hey," I say. "Feeling any better?"

Lily shrugs. "I'm fine," she says. I can tell she's lying.

"Well, Sadie and I have decided that tonight, we're going to have a little girl-to-girl-to-girl pow-wow," Alice announces. "And you are cordially invited to join us as the guest of honor."

"Yay," Lily says in a monotone.

"C'mon, sit down," I say, patting the pillow beside me.

Alice plops down on the other pillow, so Lily has no choice but to follow suit and sit where I indicated. She takes the blanket around her shoulders and cuddles up, hugging her legs and resting her chin on her knees. Alice and I sit cross-legged, watching the fire in silence.

"Lils, I think it goes without saying that we need to talk about tonight's challenge," Alice says gently.

"No we don't," says Lily, her face very young and vulnerable all of a sudden. "There's nothing _to _talk about. Everything has already been said."

"It hasn't," I insist. "Lily…what was going _on _in there? What did he say? What got you both so riled up? I just can't understand that."

"Yes, let's start there," says Alice. "What did he say? What did he do?"

Lily purses her lips, considering, and she holds her legs in even tighter. "He…got mad at me for asking questions about Alicia," she eventually confesses, her tone colorless. "He didn't want to get personal with me and when I informed him he was being hypocritical, an argument ensued. It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"You're right, that's pretty typical of you two, but what I don't understand is what was going on near the end," says Alice. "You…you were curious about something and he told you that after the competition was over, he was going to shag Alicia in the common room. Then you continued yelling even more and you ended it by walking away."

"What's so weird about that?" she asks. To be honest, I'm wondering the same thing.

"Well, usually, if such a remark was to come out of your argument, you would've called him a pervert and continued on that note," says Alice. "But this time, you got even _more _riled up at the thought of him with another girl, and you two did what you never do – you both quit and walked away."

"You haven't answered my question – what's so weird about that?" asks Lily. "I thought being slightly different in execution was a good thing."

"What's weird is that the idea of him shagging Alicia got you _angry_," says Alice. "You didn't want him with her – not then and not before that, either. You…care about him. Like you care about this competition."

Alice's face is so serious against the flicker of the firelight, the darkness of the room, the warming lull of the vanilla/lavender scent. I find myself struck by the things she's saying, the feelings she's implying, the impact she's clearly having on her best friend.

This situation is obviously between the two of them alone, not with me; but even if I could, I wouldn't say anything. It's quite surreal – I feel like I'm watching a love story unfold before me, and we're at the best part, where the heroine finally figures out that she loves the hero.

Personally, I've never had a love story of my own, but I find them fascinating in other people – and Lily's is probably the most dynamic I've ever seen. I am eager to see what Alice (an absolute guru at this sort of thing) is going to say next.

"Lils, is that it? Is that what's getting to you? The simple, excruciating fact that you care?" asks Alice, trying her best to keep her tone steady and moderate. "Because I know it's got to be rough, being introspective, but sometimes you have to get right down to the heart of the matter, you get what I'm saying?"

Lily doesn't say anything. She continues to cuddle her legs, warm and comfy in her blanket, but not safe from Alice and her questioning. I think, judging from her silence, that Alice is right – and from the look on Alice's face, I'd bet she thinks she's right as well.

"All right, Lily, I'm going to do you the biggest favor one girl can do another," says Alice. "I am going to walk you through a bit of introspection, all right? Everything makes more sense at night. I think it'll really make a difference."

Lily says nothing.

"Hey, Sadie, I could use a little help here," Alice tells me. "Lily is well-accustomed to my style of questioning. Maybe she'll respond better to yours, since it'll be a change of pace. Can you try?"

"Erm…sure," I say, quite surprised.

Whenever my friend Evie and I are discussing any kind of romance, she always tells me I'm hopeless. Maybe this is my chance to prove her wrong – help Alice get Lily and James together. She'll never be able to call me hopeless again.

I clear my throat and look at the gorgeous, emotionally delicate Lily Evans. She hasn't moved in the least, hasn't glanced up to catch my eye, nothing like that; but I can't help noticing how beautiful she is, even now. She's so out of my league. This is going to be tough.

"Lily? Lily, are you feeling all right in there?" I ask lamely to begin with.

Lily doesn't say anything.

"Oh for goodness sake, Lily, stop being such a prat," Alice complains, not at all touched by how fragile her friend is right now. "Answer the bloody question."

"Alice, stop it," I say before I can stop myself. "She doesn't need that right now."

Alice is mightily surprised – and, as a matter of fact, so is Lily. Now she glances up to catch my eye, curious.

"I…am fine, Sadie," she says.

"But I can tell you're not," I say back. "So I'll ask again. Lily, are you feeling all right in there?"

Lily sighs. "Okay…maybe not really," she admits.

"Well, let's try and figure out why not, shall we?" I say. I feel like I'm a kindergarten teacher attempting to explain how to add numbers together.

"Fine," says Lily, shrugging. "It was never my idea to begin with."

"I know, but it's important," I say. "I mean, something major happened tonight."

"If you call James and I fighting major, which it isn't," she says. "We fight all the time."

"But have you ever felt this bad when you do?" I ask.

"Of course I have," she says. "It takes a lot out of you, arguing with that bloody arse. He never knows when to give something up." She glowers at the corner of the room and goes quiet again, probably with tons of I-hate-James-Potter thoughts running through her mind.

Damn. Maybe Evie is right – maybe I _am _hopeless with this stuff. But Alice is looking so encouragingly at me that I have no choice but to continue what is starting to feel like a lot like an interrogation.

"Erm…well…what kinds of times have you felt like this?" I ask. "Was it after a particularly nasty fight?"

"We had a lot of nasty ones in the earlier days," she says. "Fourth year onward, through until the beginning of this year. Then I thought we had cooled it down a little as James began girlfriend-hunting for someone who wasn't me. Apparently, I was wrong – nothing's changed." Perhaps she is a little bitterer about this than she should be.

"So in the earlier days, did you ever think to yourself that perhaps you liked him more than you let on?" I offer.

"No," says Lily sharply, startling me wit the venom in the single word. "I never thought that. Why would I? I have no reason to feel that way about him."

"Why not?"

"He's horribly obnoxious, vain, egotistical, boorish, and crude," Lily rants. "He has no sense of morality, no filter in his brain to keep his mouth from saying the things it does. He thrives in chaos and the irritation of others and may Merlin forbid anyone but him has the spotlight for more than five minutes."

"Right then," I say, hit with a sudden burst of inspiration. "So tell me about the challenge. How did you feel during the challenge, when you were in the midst of that argument – when you were standing up and shouting at him?"

"I was bloody angry," she says. "Or was I not obvious enough?"

"No, no, it came across fine, I knew you were angry," I assure her, "but I'm asking about something beyond anger. What pushes you to continue the argument, even though you're angry? What made you especially angry tonight?"

Lily is thrown, but only for a moment. "I am argumentative by nature," she says. "I like to argue and debate and talk about things. When I am discussing something with someone as thick-headed as James Potter, their point of view is so revolting and _wrong _to me that I feel the need to shout and scream some logic into their heads."

"Okay," I say, "but you haven't answered the question – what made you especially angry tonight? While you were trying so hard to get him to see things your way, what about him took you to the next level?"

Lily exhales roughly, frustrated. We have hit another dead end. She sullenly rests her chin on her knee, unwilling to talk anymore, and I look helplessly to Alice. I don't know what to do next. But luckily for me (and perhaps unluckily for Lily), Alice knows exactly what to do.

She gives Lily a minor thump in the back and says, "Buck up, Lils, and answer the girl's questions. She's being so good to you."

"It's…hard to explain," says Lily.

"Try," I say. "That's all I'm asking. Was it something he did, or was it something he triggered?"

"More…something he triggered," she determines.

"Can you tell me what it was?"

Lily shakes her head. "No."

"Why?" I ask. "Do you not remember, or…"

"I don't want to say," she tells me.

"Why?" I repeat. "Is it…embarrassing, or something?"

"Quite," she says darkly.

"Lily, we're your friends," I say. "It's just us, Sadie and Alice. We're not going to tell people. What is said in this room stays in this room."

"We won't mock you or anything, if that's what you're afraid of," adds Alice. "This is a female pow-wow – and in pow-wows, you don't do stuff like that."

Lily takes a breath and bites down on her lip, her jade eyes locked in on us both. She really, really, really, _really _doesn't want to say, but I think she can sense that if she does say it, she'll feel better. There's something about sitting together in front of a warm fire later at night that makes people want to share their secrets more than they normally would. It was a wonderful idea to do this tonight.

"Fine," Lily says at last. "I just…I was standing there and listening to him tell me he was going to bang Alicia and all of a sudden, I got this…this image of them, you know, shagging, in the common room. And they were breathing really hard; and when Alicia said that she loved him, James said he loved her too. And…oh, I don't even know. The thought of it made me feel something stronger than I'd felt in a long time and I reacted. It was stupid, it was uncalled for, but now it's over and I don't want to talk about it anymore. All right?"

She looks pleadingly at me and I feel something in me swell like a balloon – something sweet and kind of sad, wistful. I think she knows as well as me and Alice that this is definitely something we need to talk about.

"Lily…I think you were feeling protective of James," I say. "Do you mind if I give you my take on what you just told me?"

"Well, since you asked so _nicely_, instead of _imposing _yourself on me, I suppose you can," says Lily, glowering at Alice, who takes this in stride.

"Thank you," I say. "Lily, I…I don't know how else you could take this. You feel protective of James, like I said. You've been so accustomed to having him around you that any change in the social dynamic – like James liking Alicia – threw you off. It's a game – you're supposed to run and he's supposed to chase you. This time, he didn't, so you slowed down and got a chance to realize that he meant something more to you after all."

Lily doesn't say anything. Neither does Alice. But I am so inspired by what I'm saying myself that I continue, almost wondrously, "You care about him. You have stated several times that you don't think Alicia and James would've been able to work things out because she just isn't right for him – so who is right for him? Someone who knows him, who keeps him interested, who plays his games and knows exactly how to annoy him. Someone like you."

Now I'm getting really excited. I look at Lily with marvel filling me like oxygen.

"Lily…you love him," I say. "You really, really do."

I am so proud of myself. My first romantic pep-talk. This is something I never thought I'd ever be able to do – I should've taped it for Evie, because she will never believe me when I tell her. I continue to watch Lily and I can tell she's absorbing what I said, taking it seriously, and it gives me more joy than I could ever express with words.

Before this competition, I couldn't have hoped to make a difference to someone as headstrong and passionate as Lily Evans. But now, after these days of being exposed as just me for a bunch of strangers, I've changed. I'm different in a good way. I get to feel like this – special, important, influential.

Plus, I get to be part of the epic Lily and James love story – which is quite an honor.

This happiness keeping me buoyant, my eyes fall back on Lily and Alice. Lily isn't saying anything at all, her cheeks a healthy pink, but Alice falls on me in an enormous bear-hug.

"Sadie, you brilliant thing, how did you do that?" she demands. "You are amazing! You put it better than I ever could!"

"Thanks," I say, beaming.

"Goodness…have you ever considered being a relationship counselor? You'd be excellent," remarks Alice.

I feel the sudden urge to crack up laughing, but by some miracle, I manage to hold it down.

"No, I haven't considered it, but maybe I shall," I say.

"Merlin…" Alice continues to stare at me in admiration. Then, when the satisfaction wears down a little, she goes to her friend and gives her a tender but firm little hug. Lily, softer than I've seen her in a while, rests her head in Alice's lap and curls up next to her, allowing her friend to hold her and stroke her hair. She appears to be deep in thought, while Alice is sympathetic, solid, _there_.

Despite throwing insults and accusations back and forth at each other on an almost minutely basis, the girls are still so close – Alice could be Lily's mother with the way they unconditionally adore each other.

"I don't know what he does to me that makes me this way," Lily murmurs. "I don't know why I care so much. I shouldn't."

"We do a lot of things we shouldn't do," Alice muses. "This whole competition has been an exercise in the things Lily Evans has never wanted to do, don't you think?"

"Think? I _know_," says Lily. Then she sighs, a final surrender of a sound, and we go silent, listening to the fire flicker, to the sound of our breathing. Somehow, our silence says more to us than five million words put together ever could.

And, truthfully, all I can think is: _Ha_. Take _that_, Evie.

I will need Alice to testify for me once this competition is over. I really will.

**&**

When the morning comes, I awaken with quite a knot in my stomach. It takes me a moment to realize that today is the second-to-last elimination day, which is the reason for the aforementioned knot. I have to take a minute and just lie back in my bed, breathing in and out, in and out, and allowing my consciousness to take me over very slowly.

The blown-out, burned-out candles from last night are still there, looking rather lone and sorry in the places I so lovingly set them yesterday. Our room is a bit of a mess with pillows and blankets strewn all over the floor. Sunlight streams in through the glass, vivid and concentrated, and it reveals everything to me as it is – raw and uncensored. There's something kind of beautiful about that.

As the morning progresses and it comes closer to the time I need to get up and dress myself, I roll out of bed and hunt for something to wear. While I do so, Alice and Lily begin to awaken.

"Morning, Sadie," mumbles Lily through a yawn. "How're you?"

"Fine, thanks," I say merrily, retreating to the other side of my bed so I can change my shirt. "How are you?"

"Meh." Lily collapses back into bed, making Alice chuckle.

"Good morning, Sadie," she says very politely. "Feeling all good?"

"Just a little nervous about elimination today," I admit. "I almost don't want to go."

"I know what you mean," says Alice sympathetically. "Half of me wants to get to the end of this competition so we can find out who wins, but the other half wants it all to stop. I like being here with you lot. Even you, Lils."

Lily groans from under her covers and turns over. Alice reaches her foot out from her bed and gives Lily's bum a fair kick, to which she squeals. I laugh.

"I think I liked it best when we were five," I confess. "You, me, Lily, Alicia, and Verity. That felt like the best balance in here."

"I miss Verity," Alice muses aloud. "She was too quiet. It felt weird when she was eliminated."

"This whole competition has been such an eye-opener for me," I admit. "It felt…real to me. I got to know so many different girls, but I also got to know myself in the bargain, figure out where I fit amongst the rest of them. It's surreal, but in a good way."

Alice smiles at me and sits up in bed, her brown hair looking like a bird's nest on top of her head. She rumples it a little, yawning, and then says, "I like being here too. They should move elimination to tomorrow instead of today."

"That would be great," I agree, "but you know they won't."

"Don't remind me." Alice now gets out of bed, stretching out her arms and gives Lily's bum another kick. "Get up, lazy arse," she says. "It's morning."

"Dun wanna," Lily grumbles, curling up into fetal position. "Go away."

I chuckle and retreat to the bathroom to brush my teeth, while Alice attempts to wake Lily up. By the time I'm done and return to the main room, Lily has finally been coaxed (or dragged) out of bed. She is yawning again, her hair all over the place, her skinny middle revealed as her arms stretch for the ceiling. She's cute even when she's exhausted and grumpy – which is _not _fair.

"Hey," I say. "Do you want to get some breakfast?"

"Sure," says Alice.

"Not now," Lily responds, yawning a third time. "I'll be down in a few."

"Do you want us to wait for you?" asks Alice, edging for the door anyway.

"No," she says. "Go eat. Like I said, I'll be down in a few."

"Great." Alice beams and the two of us leave the Room of Requirement, making our way downstairs to the Great Hall.

It's easy, walking down the corridors like this with Alice. She is definitely not as demure as she appears to be at first glance and that's probably the best thing about her – she saves the best parts of herself for the people who care enough to get to know her well. This comfortable cadence of our feet, the light, easy conversation we carry, it's all so profoundly effortless for me.

I'm not the best at making friends because I tend to be quite shy; but these days, as the competition has become more aggressive and we girls hold tighter to one another, I feel just about invincible.

**&**

In the afternoon, Alice, Lily and I gather for elimination. We are extremely early, simply because we are so nervous about what's to come. I think we're quite evenly matched, personally, but the Marauders will figure out which one of us is slightly weaker than the others somehow or another. And they will act upon this decision and change the atmosphere in the Room even more. That, more than the prospect of leaving, is what scares me.

We three chat idly together in the corridor as we wait for the Marauders and it's obvious, in the way we look at each other and in the careful way we avoid talk of the competition, that the next half hour is fresh on our minds. None of us want to see it come to pass.

Surprisingly close to the time they usually want us here by, the four Marauders eventually arrive and greet us with their usual smiles. They, unlike us, are not quite as affected by their decisions.

"Hey ladies!" Sirius chirps with his customary warmth. "My, my, the number keeps dwindling so damn fast. How are you?"

"Fine," we chorus together – me amused, Alice mild, Lily apathetic. It's amazing how the single word can hold so many meanings by the way we state it.

"That's great," says Sirius.

"Well…you know why we're here," says Peter. "It's our second-to-last judging of the whole competition! When you next come here, there will only be two of you and we'll be picking a winner! Isn't that insane?"

"I didn't think we'd get this far, to be quite frank," Remus says. "I can't believe everyone followed through – particularly you girls."

"You've done a wonderful job thus far and we appreciate that," says James. "And on that note, we have the judging room set up on time, for once – so shall we get to that?"

"Sounds good," says Sirius. "Let's go."

Okay, so clearly, the boys have patched up their friendship. They have thawed out and act much more like they used to, which is a good thing. But I can also see that James is the slightest bit distant – in his physical appearance, as he lingers on the fringes of the group rather than in the midst of it; and in the eyes, which are cloudier and more prone to staring out into space.

I am one hundred and five percent sure this has everything to do with his face-off with Lily yesterday afternoon.

We walk together without event, though, and reach the classroom the boys have selected for the day. The Marauders enter first, followed by Alice, me, and Lily. They colonize themselves upon the chairs behind the desk, as they have every time before this one, and we three stand before them, reduced to our small, tight-knit trio. We are already ready to go.

"Right…" Sirius scrutinizes us, his face scrunched up like he's thinking quite hard, and then announces, "Alice! You're up first."

"Fair enough." Alice chuckles charmingly and steps forward, the epitome of sweetness. I've never seen her eyes so warm before. "Hi, guys!"

"Hey Alice," says Sirius, grinning.

Alice gives Sirius a little wave, but Peter takes over from there.

"Well, since I was the one that sat down with you the other day, I think it's only fair that I conduct your critique," he says.

"I guess that means I can take a little snooze through this judging then," Remus remarks. "Why did you make me come today, anyway? You knew I wouldn't have any role in what's to come."

"Because we love you, Moony dearest," says Sirius, batting his eyelashes. "I wouldn't want you to miss out on _judging_!" He considers. "And I need a teddy bear to cuddle while we talk!"

With this, Sirius throws himself sideways to clutch Remus's body, rubbing his face contentedly in Remus's shoulder. We all giggle, or at least smile, as Remus sighs and gingerly pets Sirius's arm. Sirius refuses to let his friend go and Peter decides to keep things moving along.

"Right, Alice," he says, coming back to business and dragging Alice back with him. "Well…you are quite a good conversationalist, you know. You're relaxed and you listen well, but you aren't afraid to be funny and quirky when you get your word in. It felt natural talking to you."

"Thanks, Peter," Alice chirps, that adorable twinkle evident in her eyes.

"I think that Peter's comments fit you on the whole as a person, Alice," says James. "You're not nearly as dramatic as some of the girls we've had in this competition, but you stand out because of it – being plain old nice is actually very refreshing."

"You are pleasant enough to hold my attention, but you aren't boring," says Peter. "I think that's what I like best about you, Alice. You don't overdo it. Things are straightforward and simple with you."

"Thank you." It could not be clearer that Alice is thrilled to hear all this.

"Hey, thank _you_," says Sirius from Remus's collarbone. "Next…erm…Lily, come on up!"

Alice retreats back to me and I give her a high-five, ecstatic that she got such good feedback. Alice and I both give Lily a little shoulder-squeeze as she steps up, her expression cooler than the Hogwarts grounds in the fall, her fiery energy subdued and frozen over.

She doesn't look like the Lily we have grown to know and love. She's too polished, too prim, too proper. She's professional. She could be going into a job interview, with the way her demeanor has been pruned from the bottom up.

"Hello," she says to the Marauders. Her tone is scrubbed clean of her usual Lily humor. I glance to my right to catch Alice's eye and I can tell she, too, is disconcerted by this development.

"Hi, Lils," says Sirius, his smile a little less than enthusiastic. "How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," Lily responds breezily. It's not a good type of breezy.

"Right…erm…good…" Sirius trails off, choosing to clutch Remus even tighter and looking to his best friend, Lily's challenge partner, to take over. All our watchful eyes turn to James, wondering what could possibly go down after yesterday.

"Well…you were very interesting, to say the least," James states, not bothering with preliminaries and leaping straight into the plain, dry critique he never, ever gives as a rule. "You get passionate about the things you talk about. This could be a good or a bad thing, depending on the subject in question – but in general, I think it's a good thing. I've always said passion is preferable to indifference any day."

"I couldn't agree with you more." Lily's emerald eyes glitter like smooth stones caught in the sun.

"You have a big personality, but sometimes I do fear that it gets the better of you," says James. "You might want to work on that. While passion is a good thing, obnoxious and reckless behavior is not."

"You're absolutely right," Lily responds. "I will look into that."

"I'm glad to hear it."

It's hard to tell who is more explosive, under that horribly calm façade – Lily or James. After everything they said and did yesterday, it's hard to believe they can be so…blah afterwards. I almost want to shake them both into feeling _some_thing again, because James is right – we'd rather take passion than indifference any day.

"Thank you for the critique," says Lily after a second or two of stalling. "It was very helpful." Her eyes never leave James's.

"You're welcome." James locks into her gaze and sustains it there for a few seconds, sharp and almost like himself again, before he lets it drop and looks down at his hands. "Erm…I believe Sadie is the last one, then?"

"Yeah, I am," I say with a start, shaking myself back into the present rather than dwelling on Lily and James.

"Great, that means _I _get to do this critique!" Sirius chirps.

At long last, he lets go of Remus (whose cheerfulness level bounces up immediately) and grins somewhat wolfishly at me. He looks so goofy that I can't help but laugh at him, which makes him smile.

"Hi, Sadie!" he says, putting his hand out into the air. Clearly, I am supposed to high-five it. Giggling again, I daintily bounce a few steps forward and give him the high-five. He is delighted by this.

"Sadie, you are adorable," he marvels.

"You're only saying that because she's the only one here who actually thinks you're funny," Remus points out dryly.

"Oh, don't be so jealous that she has my attention and you don't, Moony," says Sirius, making a face. "I love Sadie, I really do."

"Thanks, Sirius," I say. And, blushing slightly, I add, "I love you too."

"You know, you _are _adorable," says Sirius. "You have these cute little mannerisms that crack me up; like wrinkling your nose when I make a dirty joke and blushing when you tell me you like me and looking so surprised that I want a high-five from you. It's all very precious. I'll admit, you're not exactly the type I tend to go for, but I find you so bloody adorable – you're terribly hard to resist."

"Are you referring to Sadie the girl, or Sadie the chocolate bar?" Remus wants to know.

"Shut _up_, Moony," Sirius complains. "You didn't interrupt _their _bloody critiques, did you?" He gestures wildly at the other two boys.

"Because they have at least a sufficient amount of self-control and poise," Remus says. "You, unfortunately, lack both."

"Moony, just let him finish," says James sweetly, patting Remus's shoulder from behind. "Thanks."

Remus rolls his eyes and rests back in his seat. I smirk, but Sirius is talking again, so I tune back in to what he's saying.

"However," he says, "as much as I enjoy having you around, Sadie, you still aren't…there yet. I know we talked to you earlier as a group about getting yourself out there and being more confident, and you _have _improved a lot since then, but I just don't feel that…pizzazz in you yet. We always end up keeping you in the game because we tell ourselves you are capable of doing better. Now that it's getting to be so close, that mere promise won't cut it anymore. You let me do a lot of the talking during our conversation and that wasn't the point – you get what I'm saying?"

"I do," I say, swallowing thickly. From the way he's talking to me, I automatically know, deep in my gut, that today is my day to leave the competition. I will not return to the Room of Requirement tonight. I…can't even put my finger on how awful that will be.

"Sadie, I don't mean to be hard on you," Sirius assures me quickly. "It's…hard for us now. We have to be really picky, because we're getting to the end of the whole game. You know?"

"Yeah," I say, fighting to be as professional and I'm-not-upset-what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about as Lily was. "Yeah, it's fine, I get it."

Sirius isn't convinced, but he chooses to believe me anyway. "All right, Sadie," he says. "Thanks."

I smile vaguely and return to Lily and Alice. Alice gives me a hug when she sees me, friendly and snug, but I keep it short so I don't look like I'm weak or something in front of the Marauders.

"So, since that's all of you, we're going to request that you girls wait outside in the corridor until we call you back in once deliberation is over," says James. "Thanks, girls. We'll see you in a few minutes."

And with this, we are shooed out of the room and Sirius shuts the door behind us.

**&**

Waiting for the deliberation to finish is a grueling process.

We sit there against the wall, the three of us, and we don't speak. We can't. Lily is curled up like she was last night, hugging her legs close to her chest, and Alice is sitting next to her, her head on Lily's shoulder. They remind me of Sirius and Remus inside; but instead of making me smile, I feel a little sick. I need this elimination to be over so I can return to my dormitory already.

My watch says that only seven minutes passed between the moment we were kicked out of the classroom and the moment Sirius comes to get us, but I swear; when you're waiting for something, seven minutes can feel like the time the Earth was created to the time it reached its final day.

We file back into the classroom and instinctively, we grasp each other's hands, clinging tight. I am in between Lily and Alice, and I have to say, Alice's hands are sweatier than Lily's are. I'm not in the right state of mind to determine why this could possibly be. I am focused solely on James standing in front of us. He looks like a serious, well-carved marble statue.

"You are only three this afternoon," says James. "That must be pretty nerve-wracking and we understand that, so we'll try not to draw this out."

Thank goodness he has at least a little compassion for us by this time. I try to breathe normally, but I am rendered incapable, so I let my rapid heartbeat do as it pleases and try to focus on the hazel in James's eyes, the fluffiness of his hair. It helps, but not much.

"So the girl we have decided will definitely make it to the final two for this competition is…Alice," James announces. "Nice job, Alice. You are a finalist for Hogwarts' Next Top Model."

Alice breathes an enormous sigh that feels more like a gust of wind than anything else. She thanks James and retreats to the side where she has to sit down, breathing in and out and looking fearfully at the two of us. I know she does not envy the Marauders this decision, the one to chuck a girl out of here. She waits; and so do we.

"Will Sadie and Lily please step forward?" requests James.

Obediently, we do, and I clutch Lily's hand like it's my lifeline. Lily doesn't squeeze back nearly as hard, but I can feel her returning pressure and that makes me feel very slightly better – it means she's nervous too. You could never tell from her face, though – she's keeping her composure to the very end, her beautifully-crafted face revealing no vulnerabilities today to speak of.

"Sadie and Lily, you both stand here for completely opposite reasons," James informs us gravely. "Sadie, you're here because you don't give us enough; and Lily, you're here because you give us far too much. You both are in desperate need for moderation – I mean, Goldilocks didn't take the one that was too hot or too cold. She took the one that was just right. We Marauders…we are the same way."

I squeeze my eyes shut. My heart is thudding too fast to be normal and my tongue feels like a wet wadded up sock in my mouth. This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening. The tension is at its climax, I can feel the silence building, and Lily and I hold each other tighter. James's intense stare isn't helping this at all, either.

In an emotional flurry, I open my eyes in time to see James's mouth open to say:

"So Lily, you'd better find a way to tone it down, because we don't think it's your time to go yet," he tells her, gentle but still heartbreakingly aloof. "You are the second finalist for Hogwarts' Next Top Model."

And that's it. That's the verdict. Lily Evans, the girl who refused to do the first challenge because it disrupted her comfortably feminist views, has been declared a finalist for a game she never liked.

Well, I suppose I would be lying if I said I wasn't kind of expecting this. In a way, it was sort of inevitable.

I mean, it's Lily Evans that I was up against. No matter how charming Sirius thinks I am, I'm never going to win out over Lily.

And I didn't.

Now, everyone is looking at me, sorry, and they are waiting for me to react, hug this out, leave like the seven before me. I can't keep them waiting, so I pick myself up and somehow give Lily a shaky hug, allowing her to squeeze me tightly before letting me go. I try to smile and by some miracle, I do this too, holding it there for a few seconds before giving Alice a hug as well. Alice's hug is even tighter.

I am about to leave, but Sirius immediately pouts and throws his arms out to me, nearly hitting Remus in the face in his haste, and I chuckle weakly at the sight. Cautiously, step-by-step, I make my way to the Marauders' desk and allow Sirius to bring me into him, filling my nose with his musky boy smell, his warm, sweaty hands on my back.

It's a careless little gesture, one he probably extends to every girl who comes near enough to him, but it feels nice anyway, to be part of the I-got-a-hug-from-Sirius-Black club.

After Sirius hugs me, I wave good-bye and drag my jelly-legs out of the door with me. To be frank, the shock of having been eliminated has not really sunk in yet, so my feet almost take me to the Room of Requirement before I turn them around and go to the Gryffindor common room instead. It's so weird, the knowledge that I was in the game one moment, and now I'm not.

Right now, I have registered that I should be upset, but the brunt of the emotion has not hit me the way I'm sure it will. Instead, I am feeling hollow, like I've forgotten something important, like I've left something behind.

As I wrack my brains for the password into the portrait-hole, I know this competition has been a wonderful thing for me. It has changed me, I know, for the better – because when you're in something to win it, you don't have anyone with you, protecting you. It's all up to you and the people you win over to your side; and although I have never been good at that, the Marauders have taught me how, in their own way. All that's left to do is practice what they've shown me – which I think I will do.

I'm not sure what I expected to feel when I left, but I don't feel bitter in the least. I am calm, grateful for the opportunity I was given, and I think I'm ready to come back to my real life again.

With a sudden jolt, I remember the password and the Fat Lady lets me in to our common room, a place I have barely been in since the start of the competition. I dump my bag down by the stairs and run up to my dormitory.

I'm sure Evie will be waiting for me up there.

--

A/N: I am **not in a good writing mode **lately. It's **so bad**, I know, but my **concentration is worn thin**. I did **get this one done** (barely), but there **might have been a ton of typos**, so please do **forgive those**.

The next chapter **will take a little extra time** because I want it to be **solid**, not distracted.

So…yeah, I hope you **enjoyed that**. We are down to the **final two**! Of course this means **Alice and Lily's friendship will endure a few bumps **and that **one of the two best friends will win**, but each has an equal shot, considering…well, everything.

Please **review **on your way out!

Cheers!  
Xx


	20. The View from the Top

A/N: You guys are **full of good ideas **and your **reactions are spectacular** – your enthusiasm has me **constantly tweaking my outline just a little bit **to adjust to your take on my story. Let me just say, that is **one of the coolest feelings a writer can experience** and **you lot give it to me everyday**. Siriusly – **thank you, **_thank you, _thank you.

These **three chapters that start now serve as my finale **– two for the **competition itself **and an add-on **epilogue**. All I can say is **I hope they're good enough**, since I have managed to attract **quite a demanding crowd **out there. It's **awesome**, but it's fairly **intimidating **as well.

Special thanks to my friend **Steph** (_velocitygirl4455_) for giving this a quick **once-over**. I do **appreciate it**, darling!

Again, **thank you all **for the pleasure of your attention and here's to **ending this story well**.

Cheers!  
Xx

--

**Lily Evans**

--

Once the elimination has been called out and James dismisses us to leave the classroom, I get quite a jolt to realize that Alice and I are the only two left to dismiss.

We are not a group anymore. We are a pair – a pair that is now competing against each other for the final prize.

And to be quite frank, it's just about scaring the shit out of me.

Clutching hands together, the two of us close the classroom door behind us, leaving the Marauders safely inside, and we instantly begin to have minor panic attacks, breathing erratically and staring wide-eyed at the other girl, like it's really going to help or something.

"Merlin, Lils, we're the top two!" Alice squeaks three octaves too high, utterly breathless. "What are we supposed to do?!"

"I dunno!" I squeak back. "I just…ah!"

"I know!"

We are total girls right now, hyperventilating together on our way to the Room of Requirement – which we now have to ourselves. When we get inside and we are faced with the silence that comes with no one else around, I'm both soothed and extremely nervous.

"Alice…this is insanity," I say shakily. "They want us to compete against each other."

"I know," repeats Alice, as dumbfounded as me. "But at the same time…did you truly expect anything different, as the competition went forward?"

I have to consider this honestly as my breathing starts calming down, to a degree. "No," I admit. "I suppose we were destined to be here, Alice. You and me. At the top."

Alice runs her hand through her hair, still completely floored by the events of the evening. "I didn't think I'd make it tonight," she confesses as she and I sit together on the floor, leaning up against the beds. "I thought either you or Sadie would take the first spot and I'd be in the bottom."

"Me? Taking the first spot? Are you joking?" I ask incredulously, my nerves still red-hot and jumpy under my skin. "Alice, in case you're having selective memory loss again, James hates my guts right now. He'd never let me take the top spot. To be honest, I'm surprised he let me stay at all."

"Well, he said you two were at the bottom because you were overwhelming and Sadie was underwhelming, so it does make sense he kept you over her" reasons Alice. "You can always power down, but it's hard to get someone to power up."

I snort. "I still think he's mental. He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," Alice assures me gently. "He could never hate you."

"Wanna bet?" I can feel the glumness on my own face – that's how prevalent it is.

"I would," says Alice. "The way he acted tonight – actually, the way you both acted tonight – suggested that he didn't _hate _you, he was just done."

"How, pray tell, is that not the same thing?"

"Because one means he will never speak to you again and the other means that he will speak to you, but professionally, as though nothing ever happened between you," clarifies Alice. "He's distancing himself from you."

"Because he hates me," I prompt.

"Because he's human," Alice corrects me. "Honestly, Lily, with all the crap you've ever put him through, I'm surprised he can muster _any_ kind of conversation in your presence."

I must have appeared quite hurt by this, because at once I can see regret in Alice's face as she crawls up next to me, hugging me.

"No, no, I'm sorry, that came out wrong," she says. "But he's endured a lot on your part, you can't deny that."

I sigh moodily. "I am reminded of it everyday; and it gives him even more reason to hate me."

"Self-pity doesn't suit you, darling," tsks Alice. "Pull yourself together. James doesn't hate you and you don't hate him either. You're both…misguided and stupid."

"Gee, thanks," I say dryly.

"No, no, it's not too bad – both conditions can be fixed," Alice assures me.

"Maybe they could've been, but it's too late now," I say matter-of-factly, rising to my feet so I can bring my pillow down to the floor with me. "Whatever he feels for me now, it isn't love. We're over. He won't want to fix anything."

"I've always said that when you love someone, it's extraordinary how much of their shit you can exonerate," Alice notes wisely. "He'll forgive you, Lily. He always does. Eventually."

"Not this time," I say. "And he never loved me."

"He did too," argues Alice. "He still does."

"Lying is a sin, you know," I say.

Alice huffs. I am utterly irritating her – something I can be extremely good at, when I want to be. She glares at me, searching me for any sign of jest, but for once, she can't find any. As annoying as I sound, what I'm saying is one-hundred percent true.

James Potter and I are over; and anything we ever had, or could have had, is over as well.

Maybe he cared about me at the beginning of this competition, when I first entered and the whole thing was _so _exciting. I'll give him that much. Maybe I did mean something to him. But now, as the competition has progressed to the end and I have revealed myself to be something different than his initial vision of me, everything is different.

I am not perfect. There are girls out there for him to chase. I am not the same as everyone else, but that's not a good thing anymore. I am argumentative and tiresome and apparently too passionate. I am old news, just like I knew I eventually would be.

This should be the point where I smile at my victory, throw a party or five, move along and away from the memories of being harassed by that irksome boy. This should be the point where the whole world suddenly seems full of delicious young men waiting for me to be free and notice them. This should be the happiest time in my entire Hogwarts career because I've finally thrown James off my tail. He isn't going to bother me.

But the truth of the matter is, I'm not happy. Not even a little. Particularly since Alice is looking so pityingly at me with those enormous, chocolate-brown eyes of hers.

"Lils…" she says softly, reaching out to me with her hand and her tone, willing me to come to her and let her comfort me. However, this isn't the time for me to do that. I stay where I am.

"Alice, we are not two frightened little aristocrats, pining and biding our time until fate throws us together," I say. "You have to accept that. We are two people, two different individuals, that are capable of making our own decisions. This isn't something you can fix by assuring me everything will be fine, just fine, and that he loves me dearly."

Alice stays silent. She doesn't have anything to say. In her Alice way, she senses that there is more inside of me that I need to say. So she waits, waits for me to purge whatever is hiding out in my brain and longing to be set free. I allow my brain to take direct control of my tongue when I open my mouth to speak again.

"We have a weird relationship," I say. "I know that we do. But you know…I'm kind of sick of it. I don't like where we are."

I'm telling the truth there. I _don't _like where we are – because as horrid as he is, he isn't a complete cockroach. He is a human being with feelings, fears, hopes, dreams. He believes and he wants and he reaches and he loves. The fact that I have crushed this very real person as though he _was _only a cockroach isn't fair.

I see now, sitting here with Alice, that I am at a crossroad that I cannot burn with the ease I once took for granted. This time, the choice is to forget about what this competition has unwittingly taught me and never speak to James again, thus forever ruining one of the craziest but most fulfilling relationships I've ever had; or I can do the impossible, make a change, and bring a dawn to this endless night.

It's our choice. It has always been our choice. And I think I have finally found some glimmer of courage in me so I can maybe, just maybe, let someone win and change the course of our history.

It's a weird feeling. That much is clear to me. But I figure, it's something different, something rawer and newer than I've ever felt in my life; and since Alice is my best friend, I want to share this epiphany with her. I want her to share in my feelings.

So I clear my throat, and I say to my quiet, startled friend, "James and I have always been rubbish at communicating. He could never tell me what I needed to know and I am guilty of the same. We've worn ourselves out here and I…I dunno. It doesn't feel right leaving him in the dust like this."

"And you very well shouldn't," agrees Alice uncertainly.

I can tell she's confused by this sudden turnaround in me – normally, she is the one who says these things and I am the one who stares there stupidly at her until she's done. It's quite the role-reversal. But I continue on anyway.

"I have come to the conclusion," I announce, "that I want to be Hogwarts' Next Top Model. I really and truly want to win this competition, so I can use my prize to force James into talking to me."

To be quite honest, I am extremely proud of myself. This wasn't an easy thing for me to decide, let alone admit, but once it came to me, it felt so natural. So _simple_. All I have to do is win this competition and everything will be all right again, because I'll have the means to fix it.

Even if James and I end up amounting to nothing in the future, I at least want to make amends and leave us on a good note. I wouldn't feel right abandoning him without some semblance of closure to tack on at the end there.

I expect Alice to be happy for me. I expect her to be ecstatic about my decision, jumping off the walls and hugging me because I've finally resolved to do what she's wanted me to do for three years.

But Alice isn't happy for me. She's just sitting there, looking befuddled and slightly betrayed, like I've killed her childhood pet or something. It leaves me looking somewhat befuddled as well.

"What, aren't you going to say anything?" I ask. "You've wanted me to do this forever and now I've figured out that you're right. You should be victory-dancing and rubbing this in my face."

At this, Alice immediately snaps out of her hazed stupor and hastily tells me, "No, no, don't take this the wrong way, Lils – of _course _I am happy that you want to make things right with James. I just…I'm surprised. You want to use the competition prize to fix everything?"

"Well…yes," I answer, narrowing my eyes the tiniest bit. "Why?"

"I'm merely surprised by that, because you know as well as I do that James Potter wouldn't think twice about talking to you," says Alice.

I can't exactly place what exactly it is about her tone that's throwing me off, but I stay on the defensive anyway and say, "I just told you – he hates me. He won't talk to me unless he's forced to."

"That's rubbish," says Alice. "He would talk to you."

"I wouldn't if I was in his place," I say.

"Well, as you so love to say, you and James are not the same people," says Alice steadily. "Maybe _you _wouldn't talk, but James would. And he will, when you ask him to."

"Yes, I know he will, because I will pick him as my date and he will jolly well come with me," I say. "Didn't I just go over this?"

"Lily, you don't need this competition as a crutch to get James," Alice snaps, perhaps more sharply than she intended to. "All you've ever had to do was look him in the eye and show him that you mean it. You've never done it before, so I know it appears to be a foreign concept, but trust me – that's how this will finally resolve itself out."

Disconcerted, I respond, "Alice…you can't be serious."

"Well, I am," she says. "You want the competition to do the dirty work for you, bring you right to James with a big red bow on your head. Well, like you so wisely said, you and James are not a tragic fairytale couple waiting for fate to throw you together – so take initiative and fix this like proper young adults."

I am stung, both by the tone and the implications of her words, cleverly using my argument against me. How could she do this to me? How _is _she? Alice is so gentle and so considerate; and yet, the way she's looking at me, she could be the real Alice's evil twin. The change is startling, but not in a good way. Not at all. Time to get out the heavy artillery.

"You're wrong, Alice," I say. "I do need this competition. You're the one who doesn't need it. You're using it as a feeble attempt at getting over Frank Longbottom. Remember him? He's the guy you really love, the one you really belong with. Remus is a sweetie, you will never hear me deny it, but he's not your Frank. Frank is irreplaceable."

I see the shock registering in Alice, followed by frustration, hurt, embarrassment, and even a little anger, all in quick succession. It's actually somewhat alarming, seeing them so clearly there in my best friend's face.

"That was _way _below the belt, Lily Evans," she shoots at me, tone hard. "How dare you? I'm not trying to _replace _Frank – I'm simply widening my horizons, playing the field a little. I think Remus is a great guy and I would like to spend extra time with him for _that _reason – not because I want to _use _him."

"Are you shitting me?" I demand, largely quite skeptical. "Alice, you haven't so much as _glanced _at another guy for more than two years!"

"Exactly!" Alice shoots back at me, more argumentative than I've seen her in years. "You're right – I haven't glanced at another guy for more than two years – and that's another reason why I want to win this."

She takes a breath and says in a vaguely more rational tone, "Look, Lils, I'm not like you. You know that. I don't have your sass, your brain, your beauty, or your fire. Guys notice you before they notice me and for as long as I can remember, I thought it was fine and I was okay with that. But you know what? This competition has taught me that it isn't okay at all."

Her brown eyes flash with complete solemnity. "I adore you to bits and pieces, Lily, but let's face it – I'm always trapped in your shadow. People know me as your best friend, nothing more. But being here…it's opened so different. Everyone looks at me for _me_ and they want me around. I'm standing on my own two feet and it feels damn good. I've found out that I have more to offer than I ever thought."

Her expression is slightly agitated, pleading now. "Lil…I want this more than anything," she says. "For once in my life, I want to be the best at something. I can't possibly explain how this competition has changed me, but it has, and as my friend, I need you to realize that."

For once, Alice is the vulnerable one, her heart-shaped face open and vulnerable and strangely beseeching. It scares me just a little, seeing her like this, and I chew contemplatively on my lip, wondering what the hell I'm supposed to say.

To be honest, I'm floored. I had no idea Alice felt like that – as if I was a threat, a hindrance to her freedom and independence. How long has she felt like this? It kind of hurts, if I'm honest with myself; because I love Alice to bits and pieces right back and I don't like knowing that I am holding her down.

This competition really has been her big chance. She's playing here as herself, on her own, and the Marauders judge her as they see _her_; and she's been getting fantastic critique lately. She's gotten so comfortable with the idea of the game and the person she becomes when she plays. Winning this would be mean everything to her.

But then…why is this coming up now? It's good she told me, of course, but I can't help noticing that she's only telling me this now that I have declared my own intent for winning. She's also not nearly as excited as she should've been about my resolution on James. Could that possibly mean…?

"Alice, are you suggesting that you expect me to throw the competition for you?" I demand before I can stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

At once, I feel guilty as hell. I bite down hard on my lip, so hard that I almost bleed, because I'm so embarrassed. How could I say something like that? Alice is my friend. She's a good, honest person. She would never want…

But she's not outraged, or even a little angry. She's just staring at me, her expression indecipherable, her brown eyes lake water murky. Then, suddenly, realization flickers in me like a candle being lighted and anger dams up behind my face, so taut it could burst at any second.

"Alice…!"

"Lily, this means far too much to me," Alice bursts out. "I…I can't lose."

Now I'm the one who feels raw, bitter, betrayed. Alice didn't care about my resolution, how monumental it was to me, how much it meant to me. All she cared about was a means to her own ends – and she's supposed to be my best friend.

She says this competition has changed her. Well, not all changes happen for the better – and if standing on her own two feet means asking these types of things from me, then I'm sorry, I'd rather have her be my shadow.

"Alice, I sincerely can't even believe you," I say. "It's…beyond me."

"How could it be?" she asks. "You never wanted this to begin with. If it wasn't for me coaxing you back each time, you would have quit a long time ago."

"But you are the greatest advocate of people changing their minds," I retort. "I want this, Alice. I want to win. I have something to play for."

"Well, so do I," she says, her tone cooling as the mania drains from her face.

I purse my lips. I hadn't anticipated this at all, this drive Alice has suddenly produced out of her arse. She's dead serious about this whole thing, but the trouble is, so am I – and when we get serious, there's no way in hell to stop us.

"So I guess it's truly a competition now," I say. "We have to kick it up and beat each other fair and square tomorrow."

Alice's features surprise me by softening. "I suppose we do," she says. She sounds quite wistful about it.

"Did you really think I'd throw this to let you win?" I ask.

"I didn't think you cared enough," Alice confesses with a shrug. "I thought you'd…I dunno, see it my way and sort of step aside, in a way. It sounds silly to say it, particularly now, but that's…that's how I assumed it would go."

"And I suppose that when I told you about my James resolution, you'd do the same," I acknowledge, since Alice is being so honest. "That was wrong. For both of us."

"It was," agrees Alice. "I'm sorry, Lily. But I do want this. More than you would ever know."

"I want it in a different way – but that doesn't mean I don't want it," I say.

Alice chews on her lower lip and nods curtly at me. "You're right," she says. "So…I guess this means it's on."

"I guess it is."

All of a sudden, the fight leaks out of me, seeing Alice backing off like this. I know she is going to do her best to make the Marauders trip over themselves during tomorrow's challenge, but I can't believe I am upset about that. This is a competition after all – and I should've known that when it comes down to winning it all, you can't rely on your friends. Maybe Alice should've known that too.

But now we do know. Now, everything has been laid out for us in the open; and as we retire to our separate corners for homework and bedtime, I can practically feel the aperture of disillusionment fall between us like a blunt ax.

At this point, I have absolutely no clue what's going to go down after this. But what I do know is that something _will _go down, way down; and all I can possibly do is swallow down this ugly aftertaste and hope for the best.

Whoever she is, may the best girl kick arse in tomorrow's challenge.

**&**

I wake up in the morning, bright and early, with that twisty knot of discomfort as my permanent companion. As I yawn and stretch my arms out, I see that Alice is already awake and dressed. She is humming quietly to herself, so as not to disturb me, and she is folding some clothes.

I sit up in bed, squinty-eyed and messy-haired and generally rather disheveled; and when Alice sees me, she says quite coolly, "Good morning, Lils."

"Hey," I say, yawning.

"Thankfully, you're up," she says. "I was going to wake you in five minutes."

I nod vaguely and yawn again. She smiles tentatively at me.

"You want to get ready and go get some breakfast?" she asks.

"If we have time," I say.

"We've got time," she says. "It's seven thirty. If we hurry, we can nip in for a little something before class."

"I suppose we can do that," I say.

"Good – so hurry." Alice returns to her shirts. "I'm waiting here."

"Okay."

Shuffling out of bed, I pad to the bathroom and splash some water on my face, trying to wake myself up. Water dripping from my nose and the stray wisps of hair plastered to the sides of my head, I look in the mirror at my reflection.

I see what I always see, the same reddish-brown hair in haphazard curls; the same thin face; uncomfortably green eyes; pixie nose and small mouth. But I dunno…seeing this girl in the mirror today is a strange thing.

James Potter, the subject of my thoughts for the better part of twenty-four hours, sees this face almost as often as I do. He has commented on my haphazard curls, has touched my thin face, has stared into my uncomfortably green eyes. He knows my pixie nose and my small mouth has told him a frightful amount over the years.

It's odd, imagining the appearance of my mouth as I argued with him, evaded anything meaningful, giving him cryptic glimpses and then pulling away again. We have said so much to each other over time, but it's still never been enough. As I told Alice yesterday, James and I are absolute rubbish at communicating. The two of us have always traveled in leaps and baby steps, our time spent either ignoring each other or being utterly consumed by the other's presence.

It's the weirdest balance; but through it all, that boy, that aggravating, devastating, agonizing boy, has braved it just to see this face, my face, for a little while longer.

I don't know why this strikes me now, of all times, but it does and I am left slightly fragile, standing there with my wet hands lying limp in space.

When I first began dating a few years ago, I had never been able to wrap my head around the idea that I was not only my own anymore – I belonged to someone else too. And now, I am attempting to wrap my head around the idea that another boy, one I have spent so long dodging, is lingering for absurd amounts of times in my thoughts.

But I figure, this is not the time for philosophy. It is early, I am tired, and I need breakfast. I have things to do. I want to win a competition this afternoon. I can't spend my time dwelling over someone who means so little to me.

"Lily?" Alice calls, her voice jolting me back to the present. "Lily, are you finished yet?"

"Yes, nearly," I call back. "Two more minutes."

And with this, I wipe the water from my hands on my pajama pants and begin dressing at hyper-speed.

It's going to be a long day today. I can just sort of feel it.

**&**

Throughout the entirety of the morning, Alice and I hang around together and go to class as we always do; but as we go, I can't help but feel that the air between us is enormously uneasy.

After what we talked about yesterday evening, with the competition and everything, I can't look at Alice the same way again. Even though she's my best friend, I really can't. It's not so much the idea that she wanted me to throw the competition for her – it's more the reason _why _she wanted me to do it.

She feels like she's in my shadow. She feels like I'm holding her back. It really hurts, knowing that my best friend somewhat resents me for being…me. None of it is my fault. How can I help what I do? And this is the first time she's ever admitted to me she felt that way. She never gave any inkling before then; so the question lingers in my mind – how long has this been going on?

We speak to each other, but we don't speak as much as we usually do. There is a rift between us – a space of cold, empty air – and we are prisoners to it. We have let it take us over. We aren't the same. Should we be? Is this worth it?

I know it's an extremely silly, preposterous game; but at the same time, it's come to mean so much more than that to both of us. To Alice, it is a chance to win her own status, get a guy, live a life. To me, it's my last hope to bridge something that's almost been burned down to the ground.

But again – is it worth where we are now?

I don't know. Maybe I will never know. Contrary to popular belief, I've never known much of anything that matters and this, this is one of them. I figure that when things are as murky as they are at present, the best thing to do is bumble along and simply hope for the best. I think that's what Alice is doing as well. It makes sense, anyway.

We pass through the day without much incident and go together to the Room of Requirement corridor to wait for the Marauders. We have barely spoken ten words to each other since the end of the day. As we wait, we wait in silence.

Thankfully, the Marauders come much earlier than their usual ten-minutes-late time – they only come two minutes late, which has to be a new record for them. All four have come for the final challenge. They are rather bemused to see us here.

"And then there were two," muses Sirius as he approaches us. "Lils and Alice. Who'd have known?"

"You," I point out. "You helped pick us."

"Indeed I did," Sirius acknowledges with a little nod of his head. "But either way. Who'd have known?"

"How are you ladies doing?" Remus asks graciously.

"Fine," we say in unison.

"You know, that was way more impressive when there were ten of you that said it at the same time," says Sirius.

"Shut up, Pads," James says, giving his friend a small kick in the shin. "Well…here you two are!"

"And Peter has a camera, so I'm guessing this is a photo-shoot," I say.

"And Sirius looks smugger than usual, so I'm guessing we are going to be wearing very limited clothing," says Alice.

"Damn, these girls are good!" Sirius gapes at us.

"Eurgh, the surprise is ruined now," says Peter with a sigh. "But yeah, today's your swimsuit day. We decided to save the best for last."

"Of course, I would have preferred to do it at the _very _beginning, but I was shot down," Sirius says sadly. "So you'd better wow me. This challenge was the very reason we came up with the whole idea."

"The reason _you_ came up with the idea," Remus corrects. "James thought it was funny, Peter agreed because James did, and I was the only one who held resistance."

"Oh yeah…" Sirius says, reminiscing fondly. "You said you weren't interested in seeing girls model. Look at you now, Moony! You've transformed."

"I haven't – and alas, neither have you," Remus retorts steadily. "But enough about that. We have two girls here who need to be given instructions. Peter, would you like to do the honors?"

"I sure would," says Peter proudly.

"What about me?" James pouts.

"Or me?" Sirius pouts bigger.

"No and no, because Peter has the slightest scrap of dignity left from this whole ordeal and you don't," Remus states. "Go ahead, Wormtail."

"_Thank _you, Moony," says Peter, grinning. "Well, since it's just you two, we called two of the four third-years over to get your hair and make-up done. Bella and Sara, I believe. We managed to get two classrooms across the hall this time, which was something of a miracle, so things should roll pretty quickly. Your swimsuits are in the room with the girls already."

"Are we going to be watching each other shoot?" Alice asks politely.

"If you want to," says Peter. "I mean, it's kind of boring to sit alone and wait, don't you think?"

"Yes, that's why I asked," she clarifies.

"Right." Peter goes slightly pink. "Yeah…you can watch each other."

"Do you want either of us to go first?" I ask.

"Up to you." James surprises me by answering, his tone a little cooler than it was when he was bantering with Sirius, but otherwise normal. "We're not picky that way."

"Any more questions?" Sirius checks.

Alice and I look at each other once, then shake our heads. Nope, no more questions, Sirius. We are ready to strip down to water-proof underwear to amuse you now…

"Cool!" Sirius claps his hands together enthusiastically. "Let's go!"

He and the boys beckon us forward and we follow them to the sixth floor, where Sirius pompously opens a door for us with a bow.

"There you are, ladies," he says, pulling a hideous Cockney accent with absolutely zero class. "Get in, get in!"

I wrinkle my nose at him. "Has it ever occurred to you that you aren't funny?" I can't help but inquire.

"And has it ever occurred to _you _that you have a rubbish sense of humor?" Sirius inquires right back at me.

"Or maybe I have a good one and you don't," I suggest.

"We'll see how that works out for you when you come for your photo-shoot," Sirius promises. "Go. Dress. Or, rather, undress."

I grimace. "You are enjoying this far more than you ought to be," I remark.

"Oh, you have no idea. See you later, Lils!" Sirius gives me a cheerful wave and shuts the door behind me.

With a sigh and a roll of my eyes, I walk towards the two third-years in the back of the room. Alice joins me, snickering slightly, something I take the liberty of ignoring. The girls – Sara and Bella – smile as we approach.

"Hey!" chirps Sara. "Blimey, you're only two!"

"So we've noticed," I remark dryly.

"Are you excited?" Bella asks, bending down to look into an enormous plaid bag. "This must be so cool."

"That's one way of putting it," says Alice.

Bella completely misses the inflection on these words, because she's just pulled out two of the tiniest bathing suits I've ever seen in my life. Literally.

"There you are," she says, handing them to us. "I believe Sirius picked these."

"I can believe that," mutters Alice, horrified.

Sadly, I can believe it too – I think my regular underwear is more modest than this. To be frank, they look more like rags than anything else; baby blue scraps for Alice and emerald green for me.

"Did Sirius pick the colors too?" I ask, shedding my skirt.

"No, that was James," says Bella. "James didn't trust Sirius to do much more than pick out the style."

"The style is the last thing I would've let him do," comments Alice, taking off her shirt first.

"I suppose." Sara smirks and together, she and Bella turn around so that they can give Alice and me a touch of privacy.

It doesn't take us long to strip and get ready. Unfortunately for me, I have a fair-sized chest and the strapless top Sirius has provided me with is having a hard time staying put. I have to have a giggling Bella perform a Sticking Charm on me so that it won't fall down completely. But, at the very least, I am not alone – Alice is having her own problems.

"It's so _tight_!" she complains, gesturing to her bottom portion. "It's cutting into me! It's awful!"

"Aww," I sympathize.

"How am I supposed to do _anything _in this?" she wails. "It bloody hurts!"

"Darling, I don't know," I say. "I think you'll just have to grin and bear it. Are you sure you don't want to go first so you can change?"

"No," she says, glaring down at the felonious strings. "But I'm still bloody annoyed at these things. I am going to _kill _Sirius."

"I'll provide the arsenic," I volunteer.

Alice smiles at me, and she opens her mouth to say something else, but she is cut off by Sara, who asks, "All right – so are we done here? Which one of you is going first? Are you going to watch each other?"

"We're pretty much done; yes, we'll watch; and no, we don't know who's going first," says Alice. "Why?"

"Because Sirius is gesturing at me through the window that they're ready to go," clarifies Sara, nodding in that direction. Sure enough, Sirius's face is visible from the window in the next room, flagging us down. I sigh.

"Okay, so you can do a bit of make-up and we'll leave our hair the way it is," I say.

"Sounds good," says Bella, taking out the enormous make-up case we've seen a few times by this point. "Come here, then – let's hurry this up before Sirius has an aneurysm in there."

She does her job quickly, spending a few extra seconds applying mascara and matching eye-shadow on our eyelids and selecting the _exact _shade of pink she thought would go best with our "swimsuits." Sara fluffs our hair a little, informing me that I probably have enough hair for two people on my scalp and informing Alice that she has the prettiest hair she (Sara) has ever seen. Figures.

Once Bella and Sara are through, Alice and I play a vicious game of rock-paper-scissors to determine who goes first. I lose, so I have to go first. Sara gives Sirius the signal to tell him we're coming in and she herds us out, wishing us luck and assuring us that, "despite the lack of coverage, you still look pretty hot."

Alice makes me enter the classroom first and the moment I do, Sirius whistles at me, looking rather impressed. His reaction is the most positive – the rest are quite varied. Peter is staring critically at me, probably thinking about camera angles; Remus appears to feel quite sorry for me; and James is having a hard time holding back his smirk.

I'm sure that even though he hates me, he enjoys being able to see me like this. He has been making crude remarks about my body since third year, for Merlin's sake.

"Hello, you horny perverts," I say pleasantly. "I'm decked out in my hooker-wear, ready to go – it's all you now."

"Exactly what I like to hear," says Sirius with a wide grin. "You look great, Lils, I'm not going to lie."

I roll my eyes at him. "You want to get this over with or what?"

"No, no, I am a firm believer in taking one's time," says Sirius, his grin turning into something hazardously wolfish. "Right, Wormy?"

"We'll see," says Peter vaguely, ignoring me entirely in favor of checking something on his camera, his brow furrowed with concentration.

I must say, I really admire Peter's patience with that thing – he loves it. He has managed to catch some amazing shots with it. He's not even staring at me, that's how involved he is; which is, without a doubt, a very encouraging development.

"Go ahead and think about your first pose, Lily," says James. "The camera is almost ready."

Again, it hits me with a pang how detached James's tone is, how remote he is from me. Even on our worst days, he would still acknowledge me like I meant something to him. His eyes do linger on my legs for perhaps a little longer than is appropriate, but he's a teenage guy – that kind of attention hardly counts. I stretch out my arms and chew on my lip, unsure what this is supposed to mean for me, and for him.

"All right, Lily, are you set?" Peter asks, holding the camera up in his hands, pointed straight at me.

I take a breath. "Yes," I say. "I am."

When we judged photo-shoots before, the Marauders would always insist that we be expressive, interesting, emotive. I never knew what that meant when I was in front of the camera, mostly because I don't usually enjoy that kind of attention; but apparently, to get a good shot, all you have to do is imagine something particular and act it out, play a game of make-believe while four boys watch.

Today, I am as ill-prepared as I've ever been for a photo-shoot. I know that since I am in a swimsuit, I am supposed to be sexy, but my take on sexiness is pretty sketchy. Should I keep my arm up like that, or should I bring it down? Should I do a simple pout or maintain tension in my lips?

I attempt a few poses I've seen before in Petunia's fashion magazines, (hey, if looking like a tramp books them a job, maybe it can win me this competition and I am clueless enough to try) but quickly, I figure out that it's uncomfortable and I probably look like rubbish anyway.

I figure then, screw it. I'll go natural. James has told me a zillion times that I'm sexy when I'm doing things like rumpling my hair, slouching with my hand on my hip, staring off into space. I try all sorts of things, standing up and lying down and being on my side. At first, I feed off of the reactions from the boys, but eventually, I find my stride and mostly tune them out, wrapped in the thoughts of my own world. The only one I listen to is Remus, who softly asks me to turn my head a little, or give a little more in the eyes.

For once, I am not loud, messy, boisterous, clever, quirky, or merely content with my surroundings. I'm _sexy_. I'm the center of attention for something that doesn't involve my brains or my (in)famous temper. The cold from the room ceased to affect me long ago and I am acutely aware of my every movement, every breath I take. It feels like I am doing this more for myself than for them. It's a strange, oddly intimate experience.

All too soon, Peter calls time and tells me that I'm finished. The boys clap for me, telling me I did fabulously. The sounds of their voices come almost as a shock to my ears, since I hadn't been listening to them for a few minutes now. I try my best to smile charmingly.

"Lils, you have set quite a standard," Sirius observes, black eyes twinkling. "Alice, you'd better kick it up a few notches, eh?"

"I suppose I'll have to," I hear Alice say as I usher myself out to the side, allowing her to take my place.

"Right – thanks, Lily!" calls Peter, preparing the camera.

I give him an acknowledging wave as I scuttle away to the other classroom to get my clothes. Now that I'm back in the present, I am freezing cold and have no idea how I got through the whole photo-shoot without becoming an icicle. For once, I am grateful for putting on my Hogwarts uniform – it's so wonderfully snug compared to my swimsuit.

Once I'm clothed again (thank goodness!) I creep back towards the classroom where Alice is currently shooting. She watched my shoot, so I'm sure I'm allowed to watch hers; but when I approach and see her there, with her fierce, un-Alice-like face and gorgeous body, I find that I am intimidated.

Alice is my best friend in the world, but she's quiet, more passive and reserved than I am. I'm used to seeing her that way. But now, with this competition and this particular challenge, I find my best friend Alice transformed before my very eyes, a sex goddess rather than a person who gets annoyed by the snogging couples in our corridors.

She's beautiful. For some reason, she can only be this way around the Marauders instead of with me and that makes me a little anxious. Not for her, but for me. It's weird to know that you are the reason your friend feels held down, unfulfilled.

I stand on the fringes of the set in a spot where the Marauders can't see me, but I can see them – Peter with the camera, Remus directing her like he did me, James and Sirius offering moral support, jokes, laughter. Those four boys…I don't think they have a clue what they _are _to the rest of the school, to the rest of society. They're only people – idiots, at that – and yet look at what they inspire in people. Look at what they inspire in themselves.

They aren't afraid of what the world could do to them, of consequences, of the idea that what they are doing is completely wrong. They aren't afraid to shine or get what they want. They aren't afraid to live, break their own boundaries and rebuild them, exploring their own capabilities to cope, to deal, to love.

Of course they screw things up, but despite everything, they're pure. Sirius tells James something in his ear and James laughs a real laugh, the fleeting, casual joy somehow as intense as if he cried. There was a time not so long ago when I could inspire joy like that in him; but I wrecked it and he let me go and I never told him how I felt.

I ruined my chance to be part of this happiness, to play along with the game and see if the great James Potter is what everyone claims he is. I could've had fun here. I just chose not to. I ruined Alice's prospects and James's too, because I don't know what I'm doing and never have.

Watching them now from afar, moving on without me, is almost nostalgic, for some reason. It reminds me of simpler times, happier times, when young adulthood wasn't so murky and life was easy. I discover that I can't stay here and play witness to it.

So, bitterly biting down on my lower lip, I turn away from Alice and her photo-shoot, taking my heavy heart with me as I leave the room.

See, this is why I need to win this competition – as I walk out of here, I see clearly that I have made scores of mistakes over a long period of time and all I want is to sit James down, look him in the eye, and finally tell him those two words I have been eluding for so many years:

_I'm sorry_.

Because I am. I really, really am.

--

A/N: And there it is – the **product of my procrastination** for the past few days. I worked **pretty hard **to make sure it came out okay, but **I can never be sure**. Hopefully, **it worked **and you are **not going to shoot me down for failing epically**.

And I dunno why, but **you lot died on me review-wise last chapter **and I'm hoping you **don't do that again**. You are **so good **about it – keep it up, now that we're **at the end **and your **opinion is so vital**. I'll even give you a **virtual chocolate chip cookie**! You know you want one.

Otherwise…the **finale **awaits you in the next few days. You **must be excited **because I know I am! I have **tried to make it difficult to guess **who wins – so please **struggle **as you contemplate **what my twisted mind has decided upon **for the conclusion.

See you next chapter!


	21. And Then There Was 1

A/N: **Finale time**!! You guys have some **great opinions **and **theories **and some of you are **closer than you think **when it comes to predicting everything. But the **ending was decided a very long time ago **and has never changed; so what will happen **was planned to happen a while ago** and was **not **influenced by anything you said.

But honestly, I can **barely believe **that we have gotten this far – I **never thought** I'd write this **finale**. It's all been a **crazy **and **interesting **ride. So now, as the **story draws to a close**, I want you to know that **I have loved writing this **and I am **glad you enjoyed reading it**. You probably **already know that**, but it's still nice to **remind you of it **every so often.

Special thanks to _GrossGirl18 _for giving me an **idea **that sparked a **different idea**, which **makes an appearance **in this chapter.

Another special thanks to _my friend Niki_, because she's **excellent about beta-ing **when I send her a very sweet little **e-mail begging her to do so**. Thank you, lovely!

Song to listen to as you read: **Drive**, by _Dawn Landes_.

Enjoy, guys.  
Xx

--

**Alice Prewitt**

--

Once I'm done with my photo-shoot, I am shivering irrepressibly and Peter's final camera click triggers in me an enormous sigh of relief. Sirius in particular is rather amused by my reaction.

"All right there, Alice?" he asks with a chuckle. "You look like we just freed you from an ice block."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, Sirius, this quasi-swimsuit is not exactly the warmest thing I've ever had to wear for these challenges," I say, gesturing to my overly-exposed body.

"Well, I'd noticed, but it's not _that _cold in here," he says.

"Let's see you wear this for twenty minutes and then we'll talk," I respond.

"Trust me, love – half the girls in this school would drop dead if I wore that," Sirius says, fluffing his hair and pulling a very handsome, haughty face. Despite my chattering teeth, I can't help but giggle.

"Yes, Sirius, we get it, you're a stud," says Remus with a roll of his eyes.

"Indeed I am, and don't you forget it," he announces. "Thanks for a great shoot, Alice. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" I say back, smiling and attempting to cuddle inwards in a vain attempt for a little warmth. It doesn't really work, but I figure it's better than nothing, and the other classroom is right across the hall anyway. So, still shivering, I make my way out of the Marauder set and approach the door. To my slight dismay, I find the area to be empty – Lily isn't here.

I suppose it doesn't mean much, since she didn't _have _to watch me shoot, but it would have been nice if she had been there, watching me as I did her, maybe ready with a friendly word afterward. I'm not sure I deserve it, after what happened yesterday, but it's not a sin to hope.

Yesterday, I admitted to my best friend in the world that I was sick of having to live in her shadow. It was not an easy thing to do – not in the least – but it had to be done because Lily had to know how I felt. I dunno what it was that brought it on – the empowerment from knowing I am worth something, the confidence I get when I come to the competition everyday, the very fact that I beat out so many girls to get here – but I felt a sense of urgency that spurred me on.

I have to live honestly to get what I want and honesty was what I gave her. It hurt her, and it hurt us, but I hope that she understands I never intended to bring her down – I merely wanted to give her my perspective, because neither of us is perfect and we have to communicate these things.

But, due to the nature of my confession, Lily freaked and withdrew from me; probably because she thinks I resent her, even though I would wholeheartedly enlighten her otherwise, if she ever comes up to ask me.

I _don't _resent her. I never have. I would just like a little recognition for being Alice, rather than Lily's friend Alice.

However, because she's Lily and I have now done my bit, I decide while I get dressed that I will not bring this matter up again myself. The atmosphere between us has mutated into something highly unpleasant and uncomfortable, but I apprehend that Lily needs time to let it all sink in. If she wants to bring it up on her own, she can, but my part here is through. I have said what I needed to say.

I slip on my uniform and brush out my wild hair so that it's a little more normal and a little less I-just-got-out-of-a-Marauder-challenge-and-still-look-outrageous. I catch a glimpse of myself in the glass of a portrait on my way down the hall and I look more like myself again, which is both good and bad. For the time being, I shall settle with good, because I have had too much exposure to negativity and I currently don't want any more.

This game was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be light and easy and frothy and silly. But, like with most things, the innocence we began with evaporated quickly and we are left with something else, something graver than we could have foreseen.

I came into this happy and optimistic with a grumbling Lily Evans by my side; and now, only a couple of weeks later, I am anxious and Lily Evans lingers a few meters from my side.

Is that okay, or do I have a reason to commit Marauder-murder when this thing finally ends?

**&**

I make my way to the Room of Requirement, unsure of what to make of my swimsuit shoot. Hopefully it is enough to win me the competition – I don't even want to think about losing because at this point, when I've gotten so far, losing is no longer an option. I walk into the corridor and sure enough, the Room opens for me and I go inside to find Lily there, sitting with her schoolbooks and writing something.

She looks up when she sees me and says, "Hey. You're done?"

"Yeah," I say. "Just finished."

"How'd it go?"

Unlike old times, Lily doesn't push her possessions away to give me her full attention – she stops writing and continues to look up at me, but her quill is still in her hand, ready for her when she tires of our conversation.

"Fine," I end up saying, swallowing thickly. "It was freezing cold though."

"I know," says Lily. "The boys, at least, got their robes to keep them warm."

"I never realized it was that cold in the castle."

"It's winter," Lily points out. "It's draftier now than it normally is."

"I suppose." I sigh, lying back on my bed, my eyes remaining on that red-haired girl nearby. "So…how do you think you did?"

Lily shrugs. "It could go either way."

"You did a lot of different poses," I note.

"I wasn't sure what to do, so I did whatever I was thinking of," says Lily.

"You probably did well," I say.

"We'll see tomorrow." Lily makes sure to drain her tone of any inflection or emotion when she says these three words.

From the position of her body and the way her eyes are lingering back on the parchment she was writing on, I think it's safe to assume our dialogue is officially over for the evening. Frankly, I'm dying to ask her why she fled my photo-shoot this afternoon, but I know it's a touchy question to bring up and I could potentially screw things up even more, which we don't really need right now. So I keep my mouth shut and pull out my own schoolbag, taking out a couple of books and getting started on a bit of reading for Potions.

I figure, if I'm being ignored, I might as well get something out of it and get something done. I'll talk to Lily in the morning, when she's more likely to be in a better mood.

And with this, I focus in on my work and tune out my mini-world for what will probably be the rest of the evening.

**&**

Throughout the entirety of the next morning, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary occurs between Lily and I. It doesn't feel like the day of the big Top Model finale in the least. I get up, get dressed, eat breakfast and go to class, as always. I wake Lily up and drag her along with me, also as always.

We don't talk much, but what little we do say is very civilized and therefore very empty. Top Model doesn't come up and I'm glad it doesn't. What would she want me to say if we talked about it? The only things that end up passing between us are comments on how bloody cold it is, how much bloody homework we have, and how bloody tired we are. Not very exciting.

No. Actually, come to think of it, I think it's quite pathetic.

Lily and I are best friends and we have been since first year. We met because on the first night, when we were in the Great Hall, Lily tripped and fell in the middle of the crowd and I was the only one who offered her a hand up. We got talking because a few people (James included) thought her fall was terribly funny and I was the one she chose to vent to, since I was right there. I thought her fuming was amusing and when we got sorted into the same house, we sort of stuck together.

That's how it's been from that point on. We've stuck together when life gets tough for one of us and now that it's tough for both of us, it makes no sense to abandon each other and bumble along alone.

I've given Lily time and she's wasted it. Now it's time for me to start moving in on her, squeezing the truth out of her since she doesn't care to tell me herself.

I get my chance on our way into the castle after a particularly repulsive, muddy, sweaty, dirty period of Herbology. As we troop up the front steps with the rest of our class, I tell Lily, "You know, this is probably the least attractive I've ever felt in my life."

"For me, it isn't the _worst_, but it's definitely up on the list," agrees Lily.

"When have you felt any shoddier?" I ask, genuinely curious.

Lily mulls this one over. "I think…probably last summer, the time we went to the amusement park and Petunia threw up on my shoes."

"Oh yeah, that was bad," I say, remembering this particular incident. "But eurgh. I smell like dung _and_ Venomous Tentacula droppings."

"Aren't they the same thing?" asks Lily.

"No," I say. "Dung is mild compared to Venomous Tentacula droppings."

Lily considers and then accepts my logic. "Makes sense," she says.

"Yeah." I sigh, marching up the stairs to the first floor. This school has far too many stairs, in my opinion, a fact made even more woeful when I feel like my legs are made out of jelly. Lily and I troop in silence to the Room, where we retreat to the bathroom to wash our faces. Thanks to the magic in there, two sinks magically appear for us to use and we wash, the running water the only sound we hear. I figure now is the time to make my move.

"Hey Lily?" My voice is tentative.

"Yeah?" Hers isn't. In fact, Lily is very rarely tentative. She enjoys crashing in head-first too much.

I pause. "Are you still mad at me?"

This time, Lily pauses; but only for a few seconds. She goes back to washing her face, choosing to avoid my eyes.

"I…don't know," she says carefully. "I mean, you can't blame me for freaking out a little. It's a lot to take in."

"You haven't talked to me since then," I say.

"Yes I have," she argues.

"Not _really_."

Lily subsides. "I know," she admits.

"Look, Lils, I wasn't trying to mess things up between us," I tell her genuinely. "I just…I freaked out a little too. You took me by surprise. I had to tell you how I felt."

Only now does Lily turn her head to look at me, her expression extraordinarily vulnerable. "Alice…" she says softly, "do I honestly hold you down that much?"

Her words and the tone she uses chill me. They part the air like a pariah parts the crowd, leaving me silent and fragile as well. I take a few moments to formulate an eloquent answer.

"You probably don't," I finally say. "But sometimes, it feels that way."

"Do you hate me for it?" This is a rare mood – Lily doesn't often fall victim to these bouts of insecurity because she's too busy convincing everyone else she's right. Of course, she has good reason to fall into it now, but it still astonishes me and I decide to tell her so.

"Of course I don't," I say, my eyes on my sink. "It's more…I mean…traditionally, you are the strong one, the sparkly one that everyone sees, while I stand near you and watch from over your shoulder. We didn't intend to make it happen that way; it came out that way on its own. But now, in this competition, I've come up to the forefront. I've been able to grow as my own person. Now, I'm the one holding _you _together rather than the other way around, when I fell back on you. It's strange, and definitely surprising to me, but I like it. I like feeling responsible and important. I suppose…I didn't want that feeling to go away."

I do realize that I'm talking more to myself than I'm talking to her, but she needs to know this. Almost wondrously, I confess, "I think…I think that I just want to be better than you at something for once. So I know I can do it."

Only at this point do I manage to look at Lily, who has lost all interest in her sink and is staring at me, her face totally indecipherable. I purse my lips, feeling warm and embarrassed that I said anything, and I keep my eyes on her shoes. It's easier than catching those emerald eyes of hers.

We are silent for a few more moments, the water again being the only sound we hear, and I feel like there's this enormous space between us two. We're close, but these days, I don't know what's happening to us. Things I never would have foreseen are coming up and driving us apart. At this moment especially, I am terrified that I might lose my best friend.

Lily swallows, so thickly that I can hear her, and then she says, "Well…we'll see how it goes today. One of us is going to win."

I nod, still refusing to look at her. "Yeah. We'll see."

"But you do know that you're my best friend in the world, don't you?" asks Lily.

My eyes go to her knees. "And you're my best friend in the world. That's how it works," I say.

"I love you," Lily murmurs, almost like it's a peace offering.

I turn off my sink and Lily's face fills my line of vision. She's has been beautiful for as long as I've known her, even when she's worried or nervous or arguing with me. She's beautiful at present too and I can tell she means what she's saying.

A small smile pulls at the corners of my mouth and I take the small steps required to come towards her. She looks almost curiously at me and I hug her snugly, pulling her into me and feeling her relax in my arms. Again, I'm the one in control and it feels good to do something for Lily instead of the other way around. I stroke her hair and she buries her face into my shoulder, her warm breathing seeping into my skin.

"I love you too," I tell her. "This competition isn't going to change that. Ever."

"I've been stupid," she says. "I let everything go to my head. I treated you horribly, especially today and yesterday."

"At the very least, you did have a good cause," I remind her. "Finally fixing things with James Potter? That's something to applaud you for."

Lily giggles weakly. "I've been awful though," she admits, gripping me tighter. "I was a bitch to James, I messed things up for you, I made a huge fuss for no reason, I almost ratted out Alicia… this game has turned me into a maniac. I want to _do _something about it, you know? Alicia's gone, you're too kind to me anyway – figuring out my situation with James is probably the only way I can make amends for anything I've done in the past few weeks alone."

"Lils, you aren't perfect and neither am I," I say. "We make mistakes. It's okay."

"It isn't okay," she insists.

"Okay, so maybe it isn't _constantly _okay," I amend, "but it's not worth you freaking out over it. You're doing the best you can. Alicia knew that. The Marauders know that. James knows that. Why do you think you're here at the top with me?"

"You're right," says Lily, resurfacing and wiping her eyes against her sleeve, brushing her hair out of her face. "You're the one who's always right. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Luckily for you, you don't have to find out," I say, smiling slightly, tucking a stray red curl behind her ear. "Can we put this behind us, then, and go into the elimination inseparable as ever?"

Lily smiles as well, gorgeous as ever, even if her face is pink and her eyes are rimmed with red. "Yes, that sounds good," she says.

I give her hair a final stroke and dry my face with a towel I find behind the door. A quick glance in the mirror shows that I am clean and presentable once more. "Ready to go?" I ask Lily.

"In a minute," she says, turning her sink back on and looking critically at her appearance. "Damn, I look awful when I cry," she remarks. "I should remember that next time."

I can't help but chuckle at this, giving her a little kick in the bum.

"You're something else, Lil," I say. "Hurry up. I'm hungry and we're losing our lunch hour here."

"Blimey! Pushy-much, are we?" Lily wipes her face on the towel I used. "Hey, do I still look pink?"

She does, but I say, "Not really. C'mon."

And we leave the dormitory together, linked practically at the hip, as if nothing tried to divide us at all.

**&**

The remainder of the afternoon passes with far more ease than the morning did. Lily is known for being able to bounce back pretty fast when she's in the mood to, and as we peruse through our classes, it seems that this is one of those times when she wants to change.

I can see it in her, as she greets her various friends – she is muted ever so slightly, making sure that she gives me plenty of attention and opening up her conversations so I can join them if I want to. I appreciate what she's doing for me, but today, I decide I'll take it easy and let her do what she wants. This is different for me and I want to take baby steps to start out.

By the time classes end, I am feeling so good. Instead of sporting that sensation of being weak and fragile and uncertain, I feel like we've come out stronger because of this; that Lily and I understand each other even better than we did before. I am full of happiness and spirit, knowing that I don't have to be in this alone.

Maybe we both want this prize, but we know that we'll be supportive of each other no matter what happens. She matters way too much for me to endanger what we have together.

This is the attitude I take with me as the two of us go to the Room to wait for the Marauders. I can tell Lily's nervous – her hands get clammy when she's anxious and touching her now makes me feel like I'm touching wet prunes – and I know I'm nervous too, but I also know apprehension won't do anything except stress us out. I do my very best to stay calm, cool, composed as I never am; because that's the right thing to do.

"Lils, stop shaking," I say.

"I'm _not_ shaking," says Lily.

"You _are _shaking – I can see it," I say. "Relax."

Lily takes a couple of somewhat-deep breaths. "I'm relaxed," she says.

"Keep it that way." I take a couple of breaths for myself, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Somehow, even then, I can't make my heart stop beating quite so fast. I think I'll be in better health once this judging is over.

Lily and I stand around and chat idly for several minutes as we wait for the Marauders; but pretty soon, conversation dies out and we wait in silence. It's not because we're awkward or anything – we simply don't have anything more to say.

The Marauders end up arriving about fifteen full minutes after they told us to meet them there. When they come stumbling down the corridor at long last, Lily and I breathe sighs of relief and face them with our hands on our hips, supremely irritated.

"_There _you are," says Lily. "We've been waiting for you."

"Sorry, sorry," says Sirius. "We had a few…issues with the surprise we had lined up for you today."

"It wasn't our fault this time!" James insists. "We arranged everything yesterday and then _they _failed to be punctual today. We're so sorry, ladies."

Alice and I raise our eyebrows, but Remus interjects, "This time, they're telling the truth. It really wasn't our fault."

"And when Moony vouches for us, you know he's for real," finishes Peter. "Again, sorry about this."

"All I can say is that I hope the surprise is good," I say. "What is it?"

James and Sirius exchange grins. "You'll see," says James. "C'mon, then. Are you two ready for the final judging of the competition?"

"Damn straight," I say.

Sirius stares. "Hold on a second. Did I just hear _Alice Prewitt_ saying damn straight?" he asks.

Lily chuckles and I smirk. "Yes, you did hear me correctly," I say.

Sirius pulls on a very silly grin. "Aww! Our little Alice is growing up," he coos. "Isn't that adorable, Jamie?"

"Very adorable," James agrees, laughing at his friend rather than at me.

Sirius puts his hand out in the air, clearly waiting for a high-five. "Up here, little lady!" he chirps.

I oblige and give him a high-five, to which he beams at the group, utterly pleased with himself.

"Isn't this great?" he asks. "Alice said damn straight."

"I think you're just looking for an excuse to say that a few hundred times," hypothesizes Remus.

Sirius pouts. "Am not."

"Does it matter?" asks Peter. "Let's take these girls to judging. The surprise doesn't exactly have all the time in the world, remember?"

"Right, right," says James, jumping back into business. "We ought to get going." He looks to me and Lily. "Ready, girlies?"

It's kind of hard to miss that he's focusing on me rather than Lily for very obvious reasons, but I pray to whoever's listening up there that this won't go wrong and I follow along with James, Lily at my side. We six walk down the corridor, but Peter surprises us by taking a different turn and going into the direction of the Entrance Hall. I am utterly confused by this.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Remember where we did the Marauder endorsement commercial?" asks Remus.

"Yeah," I say.

"Well, we figured this finale deserved something a bit bigger than some musty old classroom," says Sirius. "We want to crown our winner with _style_."

"Do you already know who it is?" asks Lily.

"Yes," says Sirius, quite importantly. "But I'm under a Marauder contract not to spill. If I break the contract, my fellow Marauders are allowed to dunk my head in a toilet for five entire minutes every morning for two weeks."

"Wow," says Lily. It's obvious she's not impressed. "You would actually let them do that if you let something slip?"

"Of course," says Sirius. "I gave my word, Lily. Bad things happen when you don't keep your word."

"I don't think I want to know who came up with that punishment," I remark.

"Actually, I did," says Sirius, grinning. "That's why I _really _don't want to screw things up."

Lily and I roll our eyes. Figures.

We take a turn into the Potions wing, which is as unfriendly as it ever is. Like the first time we were here, the boys take us through a wild labyrinth of passages that seemingly lead to nowhere a normal person would voluntarily go. The temperature drops steadily with every step we take and I find myself shivering.

Thankfully though, as I'm about to start throwing a bit of a fuss about these conditions, James points at a door at the end of the corridor and says we're in there.

"Your surprise is in there as well," says Sirius. "We made sure it was."

"Now you have me curious," admits Lily.

"That was the whole point, dearest," says Sirius serenely. "Well, what are you waiting for? Open up. Take a look at what we have arranged for you two."

Alice and I exchange looks. It's now or never. With a resolute breath, we take hold of the handle together and allow the door to stand ajar, giving us a look inside.

However, before we can register anything at all, a small black blur attacks us both at top speed and nearly knocks us to the ground. I actually do fall down, simply because the shock is so great.

"Alice! Lily! Oh my goodness, I just _knew _it would be you two!" a very familiar voice squeals.

"A-Alicia?" I ask, blinking and trying to force my eyes into focusing again. "Alicia, is that _you_?"

"Yes, it is!" chirps Alicia.

"Well, Alicia, your knee is currently in my gut and I don't appreciate it," I hear Lily grumble from beside me.

"Sorry," says Alicia apologetically, releasing the pressure from our bodies and helping us to our feet. "I got a little excited, that's all."

"A little?" Lily asks skeptically, brushing her hair out of her face.

I take a moment to rub my eyes and yes, sure enough, Alicia is in front of me, back to her happy-peppy glory. But she's not the only one inside the room – I can see other girls who are coming over here, smiling to each other and at us.

And that's when it dawns on me: The big surprise was that the final judging would be done in front of all the other eliminated girls that we bonded with.

I smile as I give Alicia a proper hug, asking her how she is – this is actually quite thoughtful of the Marauders.

Clearly, Lily is thinking the same thing, because she says to the Marauders, "You know, this is quite nice of you guys. Thanks."

"Hey, no problem," says Peter, grinning.

"Was it Remus's idea?" I ask.

"Peter's," Remus corrects, giving his friend a little hug. "All I had to do was track the girls down. Unfortunately, some of them weren't available to attend this afternoon."

"Well, we had to do _some_thing special for the finale, didn't we?" Sirius smirks. "I was thinking an honorary judging in swimsuits, but Moony shot me down. Can you imagine that?"

"Impossible, Sirius," says Alicia with a chuckle. She's clearly sorted a few things out since we last saw her, because she is perfectly comfortable around the Marauders once more. Even Sirius. "Now come here, girls – we've all been waiting for you!"

Lily and I enter into the large room and we see that some of the eliminated girls are here – Hannah, Verity, Sydney and Sadie. They are delighted to see us and to be honest, I'm delighted to see them too.

"Hey!" I say, giving Hannah a hug first, since she's the closest one to me. "How are you?"

"Fine," says Hannah, her sweet oval face practically glowing from the inside out. "And how are _you_, Alice? You're in the top two, after all."

"A little overwhelmed," I admit.

Hannah laughs. "I can understand that."

I look somewhat quizzically at her, with her cosmic happiness. The way I remember it, Hannah was a very quiet, weepy little thing that had an issue with self-confidence. Now, she isn't like that at all. I decide to ask her, "Hannah, you seem…different since you left the competition."

Hannah smiles a smile I would attribute more with Alicia. "Really?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say. "What did you do?"

She blushes a pink that's a little more familiar to me, twirling her blonde hair around her finger. She gives me a shyer smile and confesses, "Well…after I left the competition, I got to talking with Sydney and Sydney convinced me to do the impossible."

"What?" I ask.

"I finally asked Peter out!" Hannah bursts out joyfully. "I asked him out a few days ago and he said yes! We're going out again tomorrow night!"

"Oh my goodness, congratulations!" I cry, giving Hannah another hug. "Well done, Hannah!"

"Let me tell you, Alice, but it's the greatest feeling in the world," she says. "I'd been watching from afar for so long…and then I just let it out and he admitted he'd had his eye on me too. I owe Sydney my whole life for making me see reason."

Seeing Hannah so happy, now that she's going out with the guy she loves, gives me a pang that I hadn't anticipated. It socks me in the gut, hits me really, really hard, as I realize that I am still in the same position that Hannah used to be in – loving someone from afar without telling them.

But the difference is that after she was unsuccessful in something, Hannah went and did what I'm too afraid to do; and I envy her this. Maybe I ought to talk to Sydney as well.

Still, I push this thought a little farther back in my head and congratulate Hannah again before saying hello to Verity and Sadie, since Sydney is busy talking to Lily and Alicia. Verity is smiling and much more verbal than she was in the competition – she isn't a motor-mouth or anything, but she definitely adds more to the conversation than she ever has.

I rather like this. Verity is a good conversationalist – she's got an intriguing outlook on life and is a terrific listener – and with lovely Sadie adding her bits and pieces, I have a lot of fun talking to them.

Since we are, in fact, teenage girls that enjoy socializing, the Marauders are forced into giving us several minutes to talk and catch up a little, swapping stories about the competition and what happened outside of it. But, when ten or fifteen minutes pass and we are as chatty as we were upon first entering, they finally lose their patience.

"All right, all right, bring it in now, ladies," James calls out. "We have a judging to do. You can talk later."

"Merlin, you sound so much like McGonagall there," says Lily, just to annoy him. "Well done."

James ignores her, not shooting her the sarcastic look he would have shot anyone else. We all exchange smiles and I quickly whisper into Sydney's ear a watered down version of what happened between Lily and James since she's been gone. Admittedly, it's been quite a lot.

"So," says James. "We are down to the top two in the competition and we're going to crown our winner today. Can you lot please settle down so we can get everything started?"

Alicia, Hannah, Verity, Sydney and Sadie – our foreigners of the evening – settle in as a group on one side, obediently going silent to get the tension and spirited edge back into the room. Lily and I look at each other, determined and remembering how tense we were, and we hold hands, letting each other know that we're in this together.

"Right then," says James, taking his seat next to the Marauders at their big, long desk. "Let's begin with Lily, shall we?"

Lily shrugs and steps forward, facing the Marauders with her back straight, her green eyes clear and trained straight ahead. She looks calm but attentive, neither quality one she could maintain when she first came to the competition. She's so striking when she's like this.

"We spent a long time going through your pictures, Lily," says Peter. "The thing about you is that although we've managed it before, you're a difficult girl to pin down in one frame. The beauty of your shoot was the little things in between, when you shifted slightly and I couldn't get it. We decided early on we didn't want these pictures to move – we wanted to see you when you were frozen in one frame – but that doesn't work for you. It created quite a challenge for us when we picked your best shot."

"At the beginning, you were jumpy," adds Remus. "It took some time for you to warm up to the camera. You're still not comfortable with being looked at for long periods of time."

"Of course I'm not," Lily can't help but say. "You have me under a spotlight. I wasn't wearing many clothes."

"Well, that's how the world works," notes James. "Maybe you're wearing more clothes, but you're always under a spotlight. We just make it more obvious when we put you under one."

"That doesn't make it right," argues Lily.

"No," says James. "And that what makes it fair. We're testing you here. Let's see how well you did – Wormtail did the final selections himself and I don't know what he picked."

At this, Sirius extracts Lily's picture out of a folder and blows it up for the room of people to see. I turn my head to look as well. The picture Peter has chosen is an unusual one, because Lily looks caught, like the moment has been stolen from her without her knowing it. She is turned to her right, her eyes upward, her one hand rumpling her hair and her other planted on her hip.

She appears to be thinking something deep, staring off into space like that; but there's a sexuality to the picture too, with the way her body is angled a little away from the camera. The swimsuit, tiny as it is, clings to her and somehow extenuates how pretty and dainty her frame is, despite the strength and taut tension clearly visible in her muscles.

I have to admit, it's an amazing shot. Completely by accident, it seems. I look to the girls – who are intrigued – and then to the Marauders, to see how they are reacting. From here, they're pretty impressed.

"Wow," says Peter at last. "I took a damn sexy photo of you, Lily."

There are chuckles at this. Smiling, Peter continues, "I actually remember taking this one. You were half posing and half thinking about what to do next and I took it on a whim. I'm glad I did. It struck me more than your other ones had, although they were good as well. I dunno…it's simple and subtle, but powerful at the same time."

"I like that she's not _trying_ to be sexy, but she is anyway," remarks Sirius. "And _damn_, that red hair looks good there."

"There's more to this picture than the physical aspect of the swimsuit," concedes Remus. "That's wonderful. You know, I'm more caught by your eyes there than anything else."

"To each his own…" mutters Sirius suggestively, making Remus give him a kick under the table.

"This is really good, Lily," says James. "Well done."

Well done? That's it? That's all he has to say to this picture of this girl that he's in love with? I'm kind of indignant on Lily's behalf, honestly. James has been so weird and distant from her lately; like he's given up on her and he's let her go, as she always predicted he would. I don't like that. I don't like seeing that spark, that light in them both go away now that they aren't speaking on normal terms anymore.

I can see Lily's upset about this to some degree in the lukewarm way with which she thanks the Marauders and come back to me. I know it's wrong, but I'm glad she's upset – it means she's feeling something. It means this is getting to her. It means she cares. That's always a good thing.

"Alice," calls James, totally shattering my reverie and bringing me back down to Earth. "Alice, it's your turn."

"All right," I say, blinking a couple of times and stepping forward, like Lily had. "Lay it on me."

"Alice, you're so _contemporary _now," marvels Sirius. "When did this all come about? I don't remember hearing you say such things before."

"Get your head out of your arse and figure it out, Sirius," I tease.

Sirius stares at me. "Are you sure you're Alice and not Lily on Polyjuice Potion?" he inquires.

"I'm right here, you idiot," Lily points out.

"You never know these days!" Sirius insists indignantly.

"All right, all right," says James, rolling his eyes affectionately at his friend. "Settle down. Let's focus on Alice's picture here, shall we?"

"Right," says Peter, enthusiastic now that he can talk about the picture experience. "You know, Alice, you're probably the most interesting person I've had to shoot in this competition – you or Verity over there."

At this, Verity goes flaming pink but keeps her mouth shut. I smile at her.

"You're both quiet," Peter continues. "You start to blossom only when we look directly at you. With Verity, she turned out to be very sweet and very pretty. With you, though, you turn into something much stronger and fiercer than we would've pinned you down for. It was actually very cool. Sirius, show her the picture and you'll all see what I'm talking about."

Sirius obliges, extracting my picture from the folder that held Lily's, and he blows it up enormously so we can see it properly. After all the compliments Peter gave me, I am curious to see what I actually look like; and I find myself shocked when the picture comes up.

I…I don't know what to say.

I look _amazing_.

It's somewhat of a close-up, capturing me from the torso up, and my hands on either side of my head, kind of rumpling it but not really. My eyes are straight on the camera and my face is somehow both powerfully tense and relaxed at the mouth. It's a very straightforward shot, but it's focused and unusual to me – nothing at all like Lily's picture.

I'm astonished that this is me. This can't be me. This girl…Peter's right, she's someone else. I thought I did all right at the photo-shoot, but I hadn't dreamed I'd turn out something like that.

"You see what I mean?" says Peter. "This is pretty epic, Alice. Close-ups are hard and you make it look easy."

"There's a lot going on in your face," notes Remus. "You're so emotive. What were you thinking, Alice?"

"To be honest, I have no clue," I confess.

"I think the swimsuit works for the picture," says Sirius. "In your face, like Moony mentioned, it's like you've opened up and revealed yourself – and with the swimsuit, you did the same thing. It's an incredibly exposed picture."

"You know, that's probably the most sensitive thing you've ever said during judging," marvels Remus. "Nice job, Pads."

"Thanks!" Sirius beams and gives Remus a hug.

"I agree with the other Marauders, this is a fabulous shot," says James. "Unlike with Lily, the lack of movement in pictures works for you. She needs to be in motion all the time and can't stay still; whereas you like to stay still and you seem nervous and fidgety in motion. You've got it in you, Alice, your still shots tell us that – now all you have to do is use this tough-but-sensitive girl in regular, everyday life and you'll go places."

I smile at the boys and bizarrely, I almost want to cry. This picture is absolutely phenomenal and it's _mine _– and the legendary Marauders can see something in me that clearly, I can't see on my own.

They like me. They think I'm epic. No one's ever told me that before, except for Lily, who doesn't count because she's my best friend. It's almost too much to take in at one time; but I force myself to hold composure and stand by my friend again, clutching her hand and letting it keep me feeling all right, even though I feel like I'm going to collapse like a stack of bricks.

"So," says Remus. "I suppose that's it, since you two are the only ones in at the moment."

"Okay," says Sirius. "Well, with judging today, we are going to have…five guest judges helping us with our final decision, despite the fact that we already kind of know who we're going to pick. We'll call you back in when we've made the final decision, all right?"

My heart leaps up into my throat, making it impossible for me to say a thing. I stick with nodding and I notice that Lily does too.

"Right," says James. "Off you go, ladies." He makes a shooing gesture at the two of us.

Glancing at each other one more time, extreme anxiety in our eyes, Lily and I turn around and leave the room together. We are still holding hands as we go.

**&**

To be quite honest, I don't know how we survive out there on our own, Lily and me, waiting for the boys to call us back in. Sirius's Silencing Charm is not as good as it usually is and we can hear the rise and fall of voices inside there. Sometimes, it gets really loud as they argue a point back and forth. The boys _and _the girls are yelling at each other, although I can't distinguish who it actually is. Lily and I choose not to say anything, because I know for me personally, I might throw up with apprehension if I try to open my mouth.

According to Lily's watch, it takes the group literally fifteen minutes to come to a decision, in which time my insides have practically melted into goop. Then, at long, long last, Alicia opens the chamber door and tells us that they're done. Her expression is indecipherable as she lets us in.

I walk forward with shaky legs and wobbling knees. The Marauders are sitting at the desk and James is standing there, as ever, with his solemn face and salient hazel eyes. The five girls stand in a line on the side, their faces turned to us and only us. Lily and I take our places in front of James and this time, Lily is the one to grab my head instead of the other way around.

"So," says James, very softly, "we have come down to the final two girls in the competition. Today, we are going to have a winner. Let me start this off by wholeheartedly saying congratulations to you both; because both of you have definitely come extremely far over the course of the past few weeks. We are thrilled to know we were the ones to orchestrate it. Well done on that front.

"With that in mind, then, you can see what I mean when I say that it's been really hard to choose a winner," he goes on. "As you might have heard despite the Silencing Charm put on the door, you two are very evenly matched. Lily, you've always been our little fireball; while Alice, you've always been our sweetheart. So the question we had to answer was what evens out what?"

James looks from Lily to me to Lily again and I swear, the look on his face is pained, heartbreakingly poignant, for the smallest second before he moves on.

"It's been a long, bumpy road from the beginning to this point," says James, "and the game turned out much differently than any of us imagined, I am sure. But we have reached a decision."

My stomach turns and James glances at his Marauders, who give him approving nods, gently urging him to finish the deed. He turns back to face the two of us, clutching each other and waiting. Lily is holding my hand so tight, I think I'm losing circulation to my fingers. It doesn't help that we're both sweating like donkeys in a heat bath.

He clears his throat. Bile rises in mine. Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes…

"After all we've put you through, Hogwarts' Next Top Model – who gets a date with the Marauder of her choice as her prize – is…" James pauses dramatically, listening to the sound of us holding our breaths, and then he says one more word:

"Alice."

Nobody moves, reacts, anything. I blink a couple of times. Wait, did he…did he just…?

He looks expectantly, right in my direction. "Alice," he repeats.

Every muscle in me tenses. I feel eyes on me. This isn't a dream. He really said my name after the phrase "Hogwarts' Next Top Model is." But that means…

"Alice?" James is uncertain now. "Alice, did you just hear me?"

Somehow, I manage to find my voice box. "Am I…?"

"Yeah," says James. He's kind of worried.

And then it all makes sense. It socks me in the gut and squeezes my heart and before I know it, I'm on the ground and my face is in my hands and I'm close to tears.

"Merlin, I have to be dreaming, someone turn on the alarm already," I wail. "I'm…I'm…I'm…"

I feel a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder and I look up to see Lily there, her hand outstretched to me. She's smiling.

"Alice, darling, you're Hogwarts' Next Top Model," she says. "C'mere, you crazy thing, and give me a hug."

I give her my hand, but I am a frozen block of ice as Lily gives me a tight hug. When she lets me go, I see James, smirking slightly, coming to give me a hug as well. That cues the rest of the girls to come over and congratulate me, giving me hugs and patting me, but I am so far removed from the whole thing. I'm floating somewhere else, watching it happen underneath me; and I dunno, it's the weirdest feeling in the world. I'm just numb.

I am Hogwarts' Next Top Model. I won the Marauder's game. I beat out nine other girls to get here, including my best friend. I'm here. I'm going to be allowed to go out with Remus. It's really happening, right now, but I can't wrap my head around it. I really can't.

From somewhere outside the din of bodies surrounding me, I hear James say, "Congratulations, Alice. Do you know who you want to go out with?"

The pressure from around me eases up and I can see the Marauders properly, grinning away at me. I'm sure this is quite amusing for them, but for me, it's surreal. Even now, I'm still not sure if I'm dreaming or not.

"Remus," I say faintly. "I want to go out with Remus."

Remus goes very slightly pink and blushes. "Done," he says simply.

"Hey, way to go, Moony!" remarks Sirius. "You have something other than homework and tests to put on your calendar! You must be excited."

Remus rolls his eyes. "Jealousy is not very becoming on you, Sirius," he tells his friend. "Let it go."

Sirius pouts, but otherwise, the boys are very relaxed about the whole thing, excited and smiling. The girls are talking amongst themselves, and seem to want to talk to the Marauders, but they are coming forward to Lily and I. Peter and Sirius give me hugs, congratulating me as James had, and when Remus hugs me, he asks me if next weekend is good, since it's a Hogsmeade day. I say it's fine. I think that by next weekend, things will have sunk in a little more and I will be more coherent.

Once I'm hugged and taken care of, Lily has to be hugged and congratulated as well, since she was runner up. She hugs Peter and Remus, and even gives Sirius a grudging, ginger little hug, since he throws his arms out and envelopes them around her before she can protest. She's not as obnoxious about it as she could have been though – after all of us being together so long, she can't deny that the boys have grown on her. Even Sirius.

Goodwill seems to seep out of everyone's pores as they move around, talking and laughing, a group of eleven teenagers happily interacting with one another. Hannah is standing with Peter, Verity and Sydney, the four of them talking, Peter's arm around Hannah's waist. Sadie and Alicia are talking and laughing with Remus and Sirius, Sirius's eyes lingering on Sadie longer than is perhaps appropriate. Life is moving along as it always does, but there's one more thing that has yet to be done.

James, who had joined Alicia's conversation, disengages from there and walks towards Lily, who was about to join Alicia's conversation. I watch him catch her attention and stop her, his hand lingering near hers but not actually touching it.

He congratulates her and she thanks him, their eyes guarded and excruciatingly hesitant. They loiter there, knowing it's not right to walk away yet but not brave enough to make a move, until he awkwardly puts his hand out to shake. Carefully, she shakes it and they let go too quickly, barely meeting the other's eye.

I half expect Lily to suck it up and give him a hug, or James to break down and give her a hug, but neither of them do and they leave, James going to Alicia and Lily coming to me. Her cheeks are pink and I can tell she's not about to discuss this.

"Congratulations, Alice," she says. "You won."

"Thanks," I say. "I…am having a considerable amount of trouble accepting the fact, though. It's too unreal."

Lily smiles. "No way," she says. "You deserve it. They gave it to you because you came here as my best friend and ended your time being way sexier than me."

I shake my head. "Maybe," I say. "Maybe not. I dunno."

Lily puts her hand on my shoulder again. "You did good," she says genuinely.

"It'll take a couple of days for that to sink in," I respond.

"Take your time," she says.

Something vastly and cavernously sweet swells in my chest at the sight of my best friend Lily, standing there, smiling and gorgeous and _there _as she always is. I collapse on her in a hug of my own and I tell her, "Thank you, Lils."

"You're welcome," she says, hugging me back.

Here, being hugged by Lily, smelling the sweet smell that's so uniquely hers, knowing that victory has been mine, I feel a completeness I've never known before. For once, everything has gone right, against all the odds. I have a date with a wonderful boy in a week and I won a mad game I played on a whim. I met so many amazing new people that I would never have talked to otherwise. It's all been such a strange, surprising ride and I'm both happy I got something out of it and sad that it has to end.

The moment feels perfect as Lily releases me and we go together to talk to Remus, Sirius, Alicia and Sadie: The competition is over, but we're all still here. I'm still here. And that, that is more than enough for me.

--

A/N: Haha, no, don't worry, I'm **not going to leave you here** (particularly with the Lily/James bit) – there's still an **epilogue **to go, which **wraps everything up **nice and pretty.

But…well…that was the **main body** of the story we just **finished** up there! **Alice was our winner**, which will make **some people happy**, but **slightly disappoint others** – which is fine. I got to **bring back the other girls **and let you **know how they are doing** to make it a nice, **feel-good **ending.

It's **so funny **to go back to my **original list of girls **now, the one I put into the **second chapter of this tale. **At first, that list was **daunting** – a **whole set of girls **I had to **establish on my own **because they were **OC's**. But now, it feels **familiar**, since I **know them all so well**.

So…there's that. I **hope you guys liked that** (it took **forever **to write/fix) and **please review **on your way out.

**Epilogue **will be posted soon (I bet you **already have good predictions about the content**) and I'll give my **epic** **good-bye speech properly **then. Cheers, guys!


	22. EPILOGUE: Aftermath

A/N: Ha, **as I expected**, **reactions** to our winner **were mixed **– some of you **think like me **and say it **would be clichéd **if Lily won, while others of you **like cliché and wanted Lily to win**. I chose the **un-clichéd route **because I am a **firm believer in the philosopher Jagger**, who once said, **"You can't always get what you want." **So, _you can't always get what you want_. That's just **how it works**. Sorry.

But, lucky for you, I'm **as big an LJ-hog as you lot **and I have **a bit of closure for them **here, which **was the plan from the very beginning**.

Song of the chapter: **Hanging by a Moment**, by _Lifehouse_.

So, I **hope you guys enjoy this **and for the **last time**, do **review **when you're through! My **epic end-of-story good-bye **is at the end there.

* * *

It's just another Saturday afternoon in February – nothing more.

Some of the abundant snows of January have begun to thaw, but bitter drafts still take dominance outside, in the corridors, and occasionally in the common rooms, thoroughly annoying the students, whose heads are filled with thoughts of freedom and summer sunshine.

In the depths of Gryffindor tower, in the sixth year girl's dormitory, Lily Evans is currently lazing about on her bed with a magazine, munching on a cookie she had brought with her from lunch. She watches her friend, Alice Prewitt, sift through a heap of clothes on the floor, searching for something in particular.

Grinning at the sight, Lily asks, "Found something yet, Alice?"

"_No_," Alice says glumly, holding up a blue shirt and observing it critically for a moment before tossing it aside. "I have absolutely _nothing _worth wearing today. Isn't that pathetic?"

"Do you want something of mine?" inquires Lily.

"Nah," says Alice. "I want to wear my own clothes. The only problem is that I don't have anything good in my wardrobe."

"You want my pink skirt that looks good with that white shirt you have?" offers Lily.

Alice considers. "Okay," she gives in. But she stops and considers this for a second. "Or do you think it's inappropriate to expose a lot of leg on the first date? Should I just go in jeans?"

"Whatever you want," says Lily, "but keep in mind – this guy has already seen you in a bathing suit."

"True," says Alice. "Give me the skirt."

"Sure." Lily hops off her bed and roots through her drawer to retrieve the aforementioned skirt. When she finds it, she tosses it at Alice and hops back onto her bed, settling down again with her magazine.

Alice turns around and slips into the skirt. She fishes the white shirt out of her pile and puts that on as well, checking her appearance in the mirror and fluffing her hair. She is quiet as she contemplates, but after a couple of seconds, she turns around to face Lily again.

"Lils, should I tie my hair back or not?" asks Alice frantically. "What shoes should I wear?"

"Wear your pink sandals and leave your hair down," says Lily very calmly, a twinkle in her eye. "You have pretty hair."

"Not really," complains Alice, rumpling it unhappily.

"Look, you need to stop stressing out so much over this date," Lily advises, putting the magazine aside because she knows she's not going to read it anyway. "Remus is a nice guy and he won't care if your hair is up or down. Relax."

Alice sighs, frustrated, and plops down on her bed. "This is why I don't date," she says. "I'm rubbish. I can't even figure out what I want to wear."

"You're not rubbish," says Lily. "You're nervous, which is understandable but a little silly. Remus is probably the nicest guy you could ever go out on a date with."

"You're right," says Alice, sighing again. "You're always right, Lils."

"Nah, not always," answers Lily with a grin. "But usually."

Alice rolls her eyes and sits on her hands, chewing on her lips and staring out into space, as though she's thinking deeply about something.

Then she asks in a soft, almost confidential voice, "I still can't believe I won this whole thing."

"It was pretty amazing," says Lily, "but I've told you over and over – you're absolutely brilliant. You deserve it."

"Did you know I honestly thought I was in love with Remus in first year because he taught me how to do the Levitating Charm once?" Alice reminisces. "I don't think I ever told you that, because it was embarrassing to me. Sarah Emerson was after him at the time."

"I can believe that," says Lily. "You thought he was cute. You told me that much."

"He _is _cute," Alice says. "He's also very sweet. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to go out with him – I am the most comfortable with him, out of all the Marauders."

"But he's not Frank, is he?" asks Lily kindly.

"Frank and Remus are similar people, but they're also very different," says Alice. "Remus has a sly, adventurous streak in him, which is why he's a Marauder. Frank isn't sly at all – he's straightforward and funny and daring to the point of being suicidal. Remus makes me smile, but Frank excites me. I like both of them for different reasons."

Now it is Lily's turn to sigh. "Alice, going out with Remus isn't going to erase Frank, if that's what you're trying to do here," she says gently. "What you feel for Frank will never leave. Ever."

"I know that," responds Alice, just as gentle. "But you know, I'm done waiting for something to happen between us. Pretty much everyone in the school knows except for him and I don't want to date a clueless guy. I'm done dropping hints; if he wants me, he has to figure it out. Meanwhile, I want to live my life, play the field a little, see what else there is to life. If Frank and I belong together, we'll find each other in the end."

"He'd be an idiot to let such an amazing girl go," concedes Lily, giving her friend a playful kick on the ankle. "But I get your point."

Alice smiles. "Remus is great," she says. "I don't know if we'll go steady after this, but I know that if he's into it, I'll follow along. I've spent a long time away from the dating game."

"We both have," says Lily. "But you and Remus are cute together. He won't be able to resist you."

Alice laughs, the sound short and musical, her features lighting up like a Christmas tree at this remark. She then subsides, lapsing into a content but thoughtful silence, and the two girls relax, sharing this quietness between them.

It is after about a minute or two that Alice catches Lily's eye and resumes that gentle tone of hers, saying, "You know, Lils, it's not too late for you and James, either."

"Excuse me?" Lily asks politely. A deadened edge can be heard beneath the façade, but Alice ignores it, having known it so well for so long.

"I'm saying, it's not too late for you and James," she says. "You know, for something to happen between you two."

"The competition has been over for a week now," Lily points out.

"So what?" Alice refuses to let her gaze drop. "The way you both feel about each other hasn't changed. Not in the least."

"Alice, we don't—"

"Bullshit," Alice says evenly. "Whatever you were about to say, it was probably bullshit. I mean, Lils, _honestly_ – look at yourself. You're clever, you're beautiful, you're charming, you're determined. You, of all people, are capable of marching up to someone and telling them exactly what you think of them."

"And I do, but—"

"Again, that was probably bullshit," Alice cuts her off. "For all your strength, you have turned into a pretty big coward when it comes to James Potter. You keep putting off that moment of truth when you have to reveal yourself to be vulnerable, to be willing to put down the weapons and compromise. You are confrontational about everything in the world except James; and I think that's because he's the one person who could be long-term, who could potentially matter to you. You need to tell him how you feel."

"I can't," Lily says simply, pathetically, looking her friend in the eye as she says these two words. "Alice, I can't. I just can't."

"You _can_," presses Alice. "Look at Hannah! She doesn't have a quarter of your fire, and yet she managed to work up the nerve to ask out Peter Pettigrew, who she is now happily dating. You can even look at me. I am nowhere near as headstrong as you are, nor will I ever be. But I did what I had to do, I sucked up my inhibitions, and I made life work for me. You can do that too, Lils, I _know _you can."

Lily purses her lips and looks away, her unspoken thought as obvious as if she had said it aloud: _But he doesn't love me anymore._

Alice senses this. Somewhere in her, she knows that Lily's main dilemma is the fear that after all this time, he's finally given up on her and any feelings that might be surfacing will be too late. However, she says nothing about them, because she's done all the talking she needs to do.

At this point, the only way for anything to move forward is for Lily to take them forward herself. No more guidance.

Alice takes her purse from her dresser and slings it over her shoulder; but before she goes, she looks Lily in the eyes and says, "Lily, regardless of what you think, it isn't too late for you. You don't need a Top Model prize to get you what you want, because James Potter has only ever wanted _you_. Competition or no competition."

Lily doesn't have anything to say to this. Alice had figured as much, but she is still vaguely disappointed as she exits out of the dormitory, heading down the stairs so she can meet Remus in the Entrance Hall for their date. The redhead remains alone upstairs; sitting where she had been on her bed, wondering what was right or wrong or real or right in this situation that has defied all her odds.

She doesn't know where this is supposed to go or if she's missed her chance to make things right. She has never really been sure where the boundaries between them lay.

But then as the door closes behind Alice, it dawns on her, suddenly and inexplicably, that maybe this confusion is because there were never any boundaries to begin with.

Love doesn't work like that. Love doesn't have any rules. It does what it wants, goes where it may, and makes miracles out of withering dust.

There could be a miracle brewing in the war-torn emotions of James Potter. There really could be. She feels it in herself, in this realization – simple as it might be in essence – but the only way to know for sure is to stop wasting time and figure it out, as Alice had been saying all along. What the hell is she still doing here?

Without any warning, Lily's legs rise to an upright position and her feet take the necessary steps to cross the room. Although cold, the winter's day is bright with promise and most of Hogwarts' inhabitants have bundled out to brave the weather.

Lily grabs her sweater from her bedpost and shuts the door with a resolute, final sort of snap.

**&**

Lily arrives in Hogsmeade in record time, speed-walking down the various stairs and practically knocking people over in her haste to move quickly. She sprints out of the castle doors and through the grounds to the Hogsmeade path, which is currently full of students. She weaves messily between them, ignoring the curses muttered in her direction; and once she is inside the village, she begins the agonizing searching game.

She runs down the main street of the village, narrowly missing several couples bundled together on the sides of the road. She sees stores and a myriad of people, but she's only looking for a single face that is refusing to be found.

Doubts of all sorts bombard her head like snowballs – what if he's not here? What if he's gone somewhere? What if he's in the bathroom? What if he's on a date? What if he tells her he never wants to see her again?

She can't take this. It's too much. Blindly, she keeps running, because she doesn't know how else she's supposed to locate him.

As Lily checks store window after store window, her senses on high alert for the giveaway signs, she decides the most likely place he'd be is the Three Broomsticks. He loves the Three Broomsticks. Whenever he asked her out as a kid, he would want to go there, rather than Honeydukes or the ever-popular Madam Puddifoot's.

If he's not there…well…he will be there. He has to be.

Her breath an icy mist hovering about her lips in the winter air, Lily cuddles deeper into her sweater and runs towards the Three Broomsticks. It isn't far and she manages to slip inside as a man steps out. He holds the door open for her and she scoots in, scanning the crowded room for the one person she is on the look-out for.

To her great relief, she sees James standing in the back corner of the shop. He is putting his coat on, getting ready to leave, and his friends (minus Remus) are standing around him, the three of their mouths moving with laughter or talk. Something implodes within Lily's chest and she runs to the table, knocking over a few things in the process.

She can see him turning to leave and she can see the flicker of shock and recognition in his eyes as he beholds the sight of her. She skids to a halt as she gets close and with the way he's looking at her, she is almost embarrassed by the whole ordeal. How silly she must look, sprinting like that to get to James Potter. He must think she's an idiot – and if he doesn't, his friends probably do.

"Hi," she manages, attempting to catch her breath.

"Oh, hey, Lils," says Sirius cheerfully. "Didn't expect to see you here. Do you mind explaining why you were in such a rush?"

"It was cold out," she says lamely. "I…wanted to come inside."

The boys – including James – can tell that it's a lousy excuse, but they mercifully do not press her on the matter, choosing instead to nod awkwardly. Lily feels her cheeks becoming a hot red and bites her lip, unsure of what to say. Luckily, Sirius breaks the ice for all of them.

"Right…so…Sadie and Alicia said they'd meet me at Honeydukes in the next ten minutes about ten minutes ago. I should probably get going," he says, checking with his watch.

"Yeah, sounds good," agrees Peter. "Hannah wanted me to come to Puddifoot's with her for tea. I figure I'll go a little early and wait for her."

"Have fun, guys," says James. "I'll see you at dinner later."

"Cheers, mate." Sirius pats his friend's shoulder, giving Lily the slightest glance on his way past her. Peter follows suit, the two boys slipping away. It is no secret why they have suddenly remembered previous entanglements – not to Lily or to James – and this mutual knowledge somehow makes things even more awkward.

Lily waits a moment or two before clearing her throat, her heart thumping madly in her chest, and says, "Erm…hello."

"Hey," says James.

Another awkward second or two.

"The weather is really rotten," she offers for the sake of offering.

"That it is," agrees James.

Lily drags her toe across the floor, her eyes refusing to linger anywhere higher than his chest. "So…erm…how are you?"

"I'm all right," he says. "How are you?"

"Wonderful."

James nods. "So…you wanted to talk to me or something?"

"Oh yeah," says Lily, feeling extraordinarily stupid. "I did."

"What about?"

"I just…I wanted to say…hi," stutters Lily.

"Hi," says James.

"Hey," repeats Lily.

Inwardly, though, she curses herself. Why is she so damn incoherent right now? Why is she acting like an inarticulate twelve-year-old again? If Alice and Hannah can take charge, she can too. So why isn't she?

"Erm…I kind of have to be somewhere, so if you have something to tell me, you ought to tell me," says James.

"Are you going with Sirius to see Alicia and Sadie in Honeydukes?" asks Lily, deflating ever so slightly.

"I'm invited if I want to go," he says.

"Do you want to? Go, I mean?" Only now does Lily catch James's eyes and she is almost immediately sorry she has.

"Yeah," he says. "I do."

"You can go now, if you want to," says Lily. "I'm sure Alicia would want to see you."

"I hope so." His tone is so calm, serene. It's like her presence doesn't do a thing to him anymore. She feels like a terrible person for wishing he could freak out or something, just because she was standing there in her flimsy sweater, talking to him.

She looks into his face, his open face, and she wonders why the words she wants won't come. She has the opportunity, right here and now, to say whatever is on her mind. There are people milling about creating a helpful wash of background sound, letting him focus on her and only her, in a toasty bar that she knows he loves.

It's perfect. And yet…

"Look, Lily, I'd love to stay here and chat, but I have to go," James says at last. "So if you have something to say, say it. I don't have all afternoon."

Lily opens her mouth to speak, but she is again stricken with that strange closing of her throat, the emptying of her head until there is absolutely nothing left. She closes her mouth in defeat.

"All right then," says James. "See you later, Lily."

And with this, he too brushes right past her, leaving her behind to watch him go. He doesn't look back. Lily feels the hopelessness sinking deep into her chest, pushing into her like nothing she's ever experienced before; and without bothering her brain for instructions, her legs break into a sprint for the door once more. She can't let him get away.

"James!" she calls over the din of foreign voices, praying he can hear her. "James!"

He turns his head toward her as he opens the door and she stumbles out of the door with him, breathing heavily. The look on his face is both surprised and a little annoyed.

"What?" he asks, not unfriendly but certainly not welcoming either.

"I do need to talk to you," she pants, her misty breath fanning out under his face. "I've had to talk to you for a while."

"What about?" Something a lot like unwilling hope glimmers in his eyes for half a second before extinguishing itself.

"About us," says Lily. "I just…I just…"

She flails for another second or two before bursting out at long last, "James, I'm sorry."

"What?" His gaze softens and he's almost worried about her. But she doesn't need his worry or his sympathy or anything. She needs him to listen to her.

"I'm sorry for everything," she says all in a rush. "I'm sorry I messed up the start of the competition, I'm sorry I could never play your games the way you wanted, I'm sorry we were such prats to each other for the time we've been at school, I'm sorry I never gave you a chance, I'm sorry I can never figure out what to say when you're around. I'm sorry that I don't like your friends except Remus and I'm sorry that Alicia broke your heart. I'm really just quite sorry and I think…I think we need to talk about things. At least, Alice thinks we needs to talk about things; but Alice has a really annoying habit of being right and Sadie was telling me the same thing, as well as every other bloody friend I've ever had, so maybe they're onto something, you know? Unless I'm right and I've totally screwed things up beyond all control and—"

Here, James finally cuts Lily off with a light touch of his index finger on her lips. At once, she stops babbling and somewhat settles down, her breaths slowing and the cloud of mist around her mouth thins out to a single timid stream. James's eyes are softer than talc as they take in Lily's face and he withdraws his finger, letting it fall limp on his side.

"You're right," he says. "We do need to talk about some things."

"I'm tired of not saying what I mean," says Lily. "I mean, I spent the whole competition avoiding you and blowing up at you when you forced me _not_ to avoid you. It was hard. I don't want us to be that way anymore."

"Neither do I," he concurs.

"So…you don't hate me?" she asks, shyer than she has been in a while.

The hope she had seen before returns to his eyes and warms the entirety of his face, stronger than she's ever seen it, and she can tell he isn't shy in the least. He says, "No. I don't."

"That's good," Lily says, smiling weakly.

He laughs a very charming little laugh and she can't help but nervously respond back with her own. The whole scene is so surreal, the two tongue-tied teenagers standing outside the Three Broomsticks together in the winter air, James in a coat and Lily in a sweater, snow all around them.

Then James suggests, "So…erm…do you fancy talking about some of those things you mentioned over a butterbeer or something inside?"

"Wait, but don't you have to hang out with Sirius, Sadie, and Alicia?" asks Lily.

His smile is quite mischievous. "Not really."

"But—"

"I lied," he confesses flippantly. "But c'mon. Butterbeer's on me."

Lily smiles, warmer than a butterbeer could ever be. "I think I'd like that."

"Cool."

He opens the door in an eager but clumsy attempt at chivalry and Lily shuffles inside amidst the large, dense crowd of people. She squeezes through to the back of the bar at the boys' previous table and James follows behind her, his eyes trained ahead on her vivid hair.

On a sudden impulse, he reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezing it with the gentlest of pressures, and she glances back at him for just a second, before going ahead and pulling him through with her so that maybe, just maybe, they can privately discuss the murky events of the past three years.

--

A/N: So! That was **it**, guys. That was **the end of the whole story**! Isn't that **so exciting**? I wanted to **keep it somewhat canon here**, so this **conversation I led up to **is _only _talking. **No dating or snogging yet**. Sorry…

But, here is that **epic end-of-story speech **I mentioned at the start:

Well, guys, you know as well as I do that it's been a **pretty bumpy ride to get here**. For those of you who don't know, I **started thinking about this story a couple of years ago** because my friends thought it would be **amusing** if I wrote it. I said all right and in typical Zay fashion, I **wrote the first chapter and promptly forgot about everything**. A year ago, I **found it and posted it out of guilt** for not having written much at the time, and was **blown away by all the people who said, "Continue!"**

So I did. I continued it…a whole year later, after much procrastination. But when I finally started, it **came so naturally to me** that I was **astonished**. I won't lie, it's **been a bit tough** getting in the heads of ten girls and fairly portraying four boys, but it's **been a blast** and you guys **have been so supportive** of every mad thing I tried to do.

I **never, ever, ever thought I'd finish** this – ever – but you guys **spurred me on** and yes, the plot **has changed from my initial outline because of certain things you said**. **Thank you**, _thank you_, thank you for **being so good to me** and **helping me along**, giving me your **opinions.** It means the world to me that **this silly little project has been able to grow** to be what it is now. It became more emotional than I ever anticipated. But I am **proud** of it. I **love** that you **enjoyed it**.

**Thanks again** for making my day so often with your lovely comments; and I **do have other stories,** both multi-chaptered and not, that you can check out **on my profile**. Be sure to take a look if you had fun with this one.

Cheers, guys. It's been **awesome**. Have a great day. And _**review**_!  
Xx


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